


The Indifference of Heaven

by SidingWithTheAngels (siding_with_the_angels)



Series: The Indifference of Heaven [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Monsters, Body Worship, Cas really likes Janis Joplin, Cigarettes, Dean has Jensen's singing and guitar skills, Dean has a dog named Led Zeppelin, Dean's a secret photographer, Dean's openly a nerd, F/M, FBI Agent Castiel, FBI Agent Dean Winchester, Gen, John Winchester smoked cigarettes, Lust to love, M/M, Minor (evil character) deaths, Rebel!Cas, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, StressSmoker!Dean, Tattooed!Cas, Tattoos, Weddings!!!, and Grouplove, lots of songs, smoker!castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-03 23:11:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 149,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4118185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siding_with_the_angels/pseuds/SidingWithTheAngels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is just your normal guy, well, as normal as a guy can be when he's an FBI agent who hunts things that go bump in the night. But you know, he's just a normal guy. He loves watching Lord of the Rings and Star Trek and playing video games. He also happens to be harboring a rather large crush on his new partner, Agent Castiel Novak.</p><p>But with Dean's horrible luck and too many secrets going unsaid how can this ever even possibly work? Especially if he isn't the only one hiding things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting new Partners and Running into Angels

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I'm just gonna get the first chapter up before really trying to format it. There will be added tags as I update the fic

Time _marches on_

_Time stands still_

_Time on my hands, time to kill_

Dean tried to remember how it all started. How he ended up here, lying on his back watching through half lidded eyes as another man tip toes around his apartment. No scratch that, _their_ apartment. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes and elevating himself from the warmth of the mattress, he continues to watch the man.

"Cas, man, it's like six in the morning. What are you doing up?" Dean grumbles causing his partner to turn his attention to Dean, spotlight blue eyes acknowledging his words. Cas smirks then and, after dropping off the bundle of clothing he had been carrying, came over to Dean.

"I couldn't sleep." He admitted as he crawled over the bed with the grace of a giant feline. He was as graceful on all fours as he was on two legs, all power and absolutely sinful. Dean chuckled and reached out with a large hand to motion the other man next to him. "Want to talk about it?" He mused as he pulled the messy dark haired man over to his lips. Castiel hummed and shook his head before planting his lips against Dean.

And that's how Dean remembered exactly how he had gotten here, to this point in his life when he had his own personal angel.

_The past seems realer_

_Than the present to me now_

_I've got memories to last me_

 

* * *

 

Like every other normal day at the bureau, Agent Dean Winchester walked in flashing his perfect white smile at anyone that looked his way. He felt good; like really good. He had spent yesterday, his first day off in what felt like forever, at the bar getting so much ass that Hugh Hefner would be impressed and damn it all Dean was going to stay in this good mood as long as he could. Entering the cubicle juggle he was soon flagged over by the excitable computer hacker, Agent Becky Rosen.

"Dean!" She called with her normal giddy-as-hell voice, a few octaves higher than dogs could hear. Dean sighed, a smile still on his lips as he walked over to her desk and leaned against it before taking a swig of his coffee.

When Dean had originally started here he had disliked Becky, a lot. She was over excitable, loud and way too into Dean's sexual preferences than he was comfortable with. But time had changed that and the last five years had been enough. He had learned that even if Becky used the company computer for unadulterated amounts of homosexual porn she was useful and well, she sent him the best smut even if it was just written.

"What's up Becky?" He asked as he takes another sip from his coffee, his eyes skimming over the other cubicles in the office. It seemed like everyone was in a pretty damn good mood, it wasn't just Dean. Becky giggled behind her hand, dancing slightly in her seat before trying to tone herself down (as always).

"We have a new agent, Dean!" She giggled, hardly able to control herself. Dean's stomach dropped. That's right.

About a month ago Dean's normal partner in crime had been WIA [wounded in action] while on the Anderson case and had quit a week ago at the pleas of his family. Dean was unsure of how to feel towards this, he liked the man enough but it brought up painful memories. Memories of when Dean was wounded two years ago on the Jackson case he had only been yelled at by his little brother, Sam, who was a lawyer for the firm down the road and that had been the end. There was no one else to be worried for him, be to concerned, except maybe Bobby. So there was no way Dean was quitting.

"My new partner?" He hedged and Becky's head bobbed like it was broken.

"Yes!" She explained as she sat on her hands to keep herself from flailing everywhere. "Dean," She giggled, biting her lip now, "He's so hot. No, Dean, he's so hot." Well that got Dean's attention. With a smirk Dean leaned a little over the table and looked Becky straight in the eyes.

"Best features?" Becky looked at him like he was insane.

"Oh, God, Dean I don't know! All of him?" She flailed helplessly now; her hands somehow removed from their safe cover under her skinny ass. "He's in your office! You go check him out and report!" She giggled as she motioned for Dean to get his ass in gear.

"Sounds like a plan Rosen." Dean mused as he turned to go to his office. He walked the couple feet it took to get to his office and walked in.

It was empty.

Was this some kind of joke? He'd think so if he didn't see the desk opposite of his being occupied by a trench coat and a large Starbucks coffee cup. The office was simple, but well lived in (on Dean’s side at least) bookcases lined his side, filled with older cases and books filled with ‘what to do’s and ‘what not to do’s. The windows were reasonably large and easy to open as they just slid to the right side with an easy push. Dean was sure some would be worried about this in an office but he on the other hand, had no intention of using them for anything but a good breeze.

Dean shrugged off his suit jacket and was making his way towards the his desk to make use of his investigation skills when he heard the telltale voice of his boss, Bobby Singer.

"Winchester! My office! Now!"

Dean groaned inwardly.

He placed his own coffee on his desk before he turned himself around, away from his recon mission and started out of the room, making his way down the hall to Bobby's office.

Agent Winchester could see the older man's back as he headed down the hall, Bobby’s brown hair slicked back uncomfortably into the level of 'professional' that the old man deemed necessary for himself. Dean was just glad he didn't ask Dean to do the same.

Agent Singer swung the office door open and walked in, not holding the door for Dean as the younger was way too far behind. But not for long, because when that door opened for those couple of seconds Dean could see the telltale signs of a dark brown-haired man sitting in one of the office seats.

When Dean finally entered the office Bobby was already behind the desk, taking a sip of his own jumbo coffee.

"Winchester this is your new partner." he motioned to the dark haired mop in the seat to his let.

This is how Dean died. Or at least how he had endless nights of sexual frustration.

The man stood up and Jesus, Rosen had not been lying about this one. Right off the bat Dean could tell this man was on a whole different level of hot. He was so hot it was a little sinful, even in this work environment.... especially in this environment.

The first hint was how freaking gracefully the man got out of his seat, like he wasn't human at all but instead water or a large cat of some sort. The second hint towards this was the stubble, that looked like it was permanent and Dean enjoyed nothing more than some light stubble on his men.

Dean’s personal hell (that he was going to be sent to for the rest of his working career) was revealed when his eyes met the other man's. The first thing that comes to Dean's mind are the summer days he spent in Kansas, beautiful open skies with a warm breeze pushing away any semblance of clouds. Now Dean understood Becky's incapability to define this man's best feature. His eyes were locked onto Dean's and Dean was pretty sure he'd be lost in this deep pool of cerulean until he drowned.

"Agent Dean Winchester this is Agent Castiel Novak. He will be your new partner indefinitely." Agent Novak's eyes never broke contact with Dean's, he raised his hand to the man in a stiff motion. With the way that Novak had removed himself from that chair, it was a little odd to see him actually perform an awkward motion but Dean took Novak’s hand nevertheless.

"Pleasure," Dean grinned wolfishly at the man in front of him. Novak just nodded and shook his hand, his grip strong and, Jesus, he had hands of a pianist. His slender fingers were pale in comparison to Dean's tanned ones but seemed to carry a sort of elegant power, like the dagger behind the cloak. Dean could just imagine what those fingers could do- _Whoa steady there boy, you just met him_ , he chided himself before the eye connection was broken and Agent Novak sat back down.

Dean joined the man in the seat adjacent to his new partner and if he kept sneaking peaks at Agent Novak, well, sue him. Bobby started to go on his little tirade of how important it was to watch each other's backs and how they had to get along but Dean was totally unaware of this speech. No, instead of paying attention to the rant Dean just sat there, eyes hell bent on sneaking peeks at his new partner.

Agent Castiel Novak was porn, sweet, heavenly, unadulterated porn. He had that hair that looked like he either just gone a couple rounds in the broom closet or he just rolled out of bed; either was fine with Dean. His stubble, as presented before, seemed to be stuck at 5 o'clock giving a constant dark shadow of browns and blacks across the man's face.

Dean didn't mean to stare at his lips but, God, who the fuck _couldn’t_? They were full and slightly cracked but still looked heavenly. Like they'd look good around some of Dean's lower regions. He decided then that maybe he should look somewhere else; which he did and that was a mistake.

He could tell that Novak was smaller than Dean from but not horribly so, just small enough for Dean to overpower him with his height and easy enough to kiss. His mind would have kept going that way if he hadn't been suddenly distracted by the man's hands... _again_. Holy hell, was that allowed? They were just so perfectly, with fingers that curved easily around Novak's knee and looked like they'd be way too much fun to suck on. With his eyes transfixed on those unholy appendages Dean didn't know that Bobby was directly talking to him until he heard, "You got that Winchester?"

Jumping out of his own fantasy of Novak’s hands and skin he turned to Bobby and smiled sheepishly to let the man know that he did indeed have no idea what he was talking about.

Bobby sighed, "I said, Agent Novak was from a tactical force for the president so he will have no problem keeping your ass in line. But that does not mean you can let him put his ass on the line. Understood?"

Dean nodded, "yes, sir." Dean knew that if it was any other agent, even the little-ball-of-sunshine Becky Rosen, they would have been subjected to Bobby's wrath for being unable to stay on subject. But Dean, he was one of Bobby's favorites.

There were reasons Dean was Bobby’s favorite, after all Dean's father, Agent John Winchester has been one of the best CIA agents the American government had ever seen. When Dean was a child Bobby would come over for Christmas holidays, with his now late-wife Karen Singer, and they would share Christmas dinner. So when Dean's mother had died at the hands of an unknown hitman and his father had gone crazy over revenge. It was Bobby and Karen Singer that took care of the boys while his father was out 'killing bad guys'.

It was also Bobby Singer that had stood next to Dean and Sam when they went to the hospital and watched over the broken and beaten body of their father trying to fight for life. It was Bobby who helped Dean get into the FBI and Sam into his lawyer gig.

Bobby sighed and shook his head before turning towards Novak once again; causing Dean to look over as well.

"Now Novak, Agent Winchester here is the best agent we've got. He's a little of a pain in my ass, well, in everyone's ass really" Dean scoffed as Bobby continued without missing a beat, "but that doesn't mean he's a real problem. If there are any problems with him you either talk to him or myself." Agent Novak just nodded before turning towards Dean and locking eyes. God how could one person make Dean's body so... bothered?

"Understood." Oh sweet Jesus on ice, his voice. This was the first time this entire meeting that Agent Novak had spoken and man, was his voice perfect. It was deep and gravelly as if every morning he ate a bowl of cereal with boulders or just smoked a pack a day; Dean couldn't tell which was hotter.

Bobby nodded and picked up a file, handing it to Dean over the desk. "Here, this is your new case. It's a bit of an odd one but I think you can handle it Winchester." Dean reached over and took the proffered file before standing up.

"Thanks Bo- Agent Singer," Dean quickly corrected himself, it was hard to go professional when your boss was your adopted father. Bobby just sighed loudly and waved his hand to dismiss them. Agent Novak stood up easily and started towards the door without a delay or anything. But Dean got their first and held the door open for Novak because that is the nice thing to do, especially when you have your eyes set on your newly transitioned partner.

Agent Novak just walked out of the door without a thank you or anything and when Dean closed the door behind them he could have swore he heard Bobby mumbling 'idjits' under his breath.

Some things never change.

* * *

Dean walked the whole way to his office in silence, not letting his sociable personality get a hold of him until they reached it. He opened the door and held it open with his hip long enough for Agent Novak to enter as well. Opening the file that Bobby had handed him Dean read the claim to their newest mission and sighed.

"Seriously?" He grumbled while he walked over and plopped down at his own desk. He'd give anything to just be able to stare at his new partner but no, it appeared that work was not that giving.

Feeling the need to share the case with Agent Novak, Dean read the claim over before placing it on the desk and running a hand over his face. It seemed that, of course, there was some occult shit going on a state over in Virginia. Dean thought Virginia was for lovers, not cultists.

"We've got some cultists killing and mutilating some of the virgin daughters in the small town of Mineral, Virginia." he grumbled, unsatisfied with how his day was going. It seemed whenever there was some odd occult thing he was always sent on them. Well, him or Jo Harvelle, but she was on her honeymoon with her new husband so this assignment was now on Dean's lap. He'd bitch her out later for being able to have constant sex, while he was stuck here dealing with 'All Hail Satan' bastards instead of getting properly laid.

Dean looked up after the silence continued from his partner. His partner, you know the new sexy one, was on his Mac computer. Really? He better not be fucking playing minesweeper or so help him God he'd kick his ass, hot or no.

Instead Dean cleared his throat and Novak looked up for a second to speak, "Its about two hours away," Novak grumbled a moment later his eyes returning to the screen. "If we were to leave now we'd get there by noon."

Dean groaned and leaned back in his seat, he did not need this shit. Did he really have to go? He weighed his options of throwing up and realized that Bobby would know right away that it was a hoax. Since Dean threw up way too many times as a teen to get out of school to go to the bowling alley down the street.

"Maybe we should leave tomorrow and-" Dean didn't get the chance to finish his excuse for not going because just than Agent Novak's eyes popped up to meet Dean's.

"Agent Winchester," he warned his voice taking on a dark air, "We have work to do."

At first Dean thought he was just trying to be studious, after all it was his first day with this job. But then Dean saw it, the annoyance and anger in Agent Novak's eyes.

Taken aback by this sudden distrust, Dean leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table.

"The hell is your problem?" Growled out Dean, now on the defense. Agent Novak sat up straighter now, his eyes piercing Dean as if he could see right to his core.

"I have heard all about you, Agent Winchester."

This did not bode well.

"Good things?" Voiced Dean tilting his head ever so slightly with a ghost of a smile on his lips trying to cover up the fact that the room had dropped ten degrees. Novak let out a cold laugh but there was nothing backing it, just cold eyes.

"No, Agent Winchester," he cleared up. Dean's face must have resembled that of confusion because his newly formed partner sighed out aggressively before elaborating. "There are many words we have for people like you in the CIA," he started, his eyes boring into Dean's, "Pompous, arrogant and self-righteous. All which you have shown in your track record."

Dean could not believe his ears, "You looked me up?!" He was so not believing his day.

Agent Novak shook his head, his eyes never leaving Dean's and for the first time Dean did not like it. "One does not need to look you up Agent. Just read the papers."

Dean's stomach fell from its normal place and took up residence somewhere near his liver. Sure, he was in the papers a lot but he himself had refused to read them, Sam on several occasions had tried to force them on Dean but he didn't care what the public's view on him was.

"They couldn't be all that bad..." He said will less conviction than what was needed. Agent Novak snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Milwaukee? Baltimore? Kentucky? The Talbot case, Agent? Do I really need to go on?" Dean's blood froze, sure he had made some bad calls but Kentucky had been a personal job, one of his dad's old contacts from the war named Deacon had needed some help when his inmates kept on dying for unknown reasons. Dean had gone undercover and had caused some trouble. But he had figured it out that it was one of the nurses was feeding the dying inmates cyanide. It had caused Dean a lot of problems when he got home. Bobby had told him that he 'couldn't pull that kinda shit'. But still, Dean had helped Deacon and that's all that mattered. Friends had to stay together.

As for the other stuff like the Bela Talbot case, well she was a fucking spy what was he supposed to do?

When Dean stayed silent Agent Novak leaned back in his chair with an air of conviction, his face emotionless as he watched Dean.

"I am here to work. Not to go on a kamikaze murder spree." Dean was not a murderer. That was all Bela, Bela had torn through those insurgents, that nurse had killed those inmates, not Dean though he assumed the papers had stated differently.

He opened his mouth but Agent Novak held up a hand, "I am here to find the truth. If I have to deal with a self-righteous man, I will, but I am not your friend Agent Winchester."

Dean leaned back in his chair, deflated all of a sudden by the finality in the other agent's voice.

"Whatever." he grumbled, and if he was kinda sulking, Castiel could deal.

They sat in silence for a few minutes with Agent Novak’s typing on his computer before Dean had enough of the constant clicking sound. Standing up Dean walked right out of his office and directly to Becky's cubicle. As always when she wasn't working, she was surfing this website that Dean had just recently been introduced to, Archive of Our Own, or as Becky called it AO3.

Clearing his throat Dean waited for her to notice him, which she did a second later.

"Oh, Dean!" She grinned and bit her lip excitedly. "You see him? Isn't he just gorgeous!?" She giggled her 'fangirl' giggle as she called it and then schooled her expression as soon as she saw the darkness in Dean's eyes. "What’s wrong Dean? Was I wrong?" she questioned, seeming to get smaller as she hated giving Dean a miss when it came to men. Dean shot her a soft smile and shook his head.

"No Becky, he's a nine" ' _Maybe even a ten_ ' thought Dean though he'd never give Agent Castiel Novak the satisfaction of letting that even out of his head. "He's just a royal ass."

Becky's face fell and she frowned to herself. "I was sure he was going to be like you," she mused more to herself than Dean. After a momentary pause she looked up at Dean and tilted her head ever so slightly to the side, "Are you hiding out at my cubicle because he's so bad?" This seemed to bother Becky a little but she relaxed when Dean shook his head.

"No." He cleared up before shifting a little nervously. "Actually, I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

Becky's face lit up, there was nothing she loved more than porn and helping Dean. "What is it, Winchester?" She teased minimizing the web page she was on.

He smiled slightly and leaned against the wall, "Can you look up anything on a certain Castiel Novak for me?" Becky frowned disapprovingly but nodded anyway, she did owe Dean.

"Should you be looking up dirt on your new partner Dean?" She tentatively asked as she pulled up the FBI records page.

Dean shrugged noncommittally, "He did it to me, I think I have a right." It was a little white lie, if Novak had actually looked up Dean's record he'd probably have a lot of a higher opinion of him. Dean was hoping it was the opposite for Agent Castiel Novak's record.

Becky sighed and typed up the agent’s name, letting a little gasp come out of her lips when she scanned the page. "Oh," Becky wasn't one for one word answers so Dean did the automatic "What?" and leaned over to get a better look at  the screen.

"His files are confidential, like really confidential." she frowned, looking a little disappointed.

"Oh," Dean echoed Becky with more disappointment in his voice than her. She nodded and stared at her screen for a moment. Becky was Dean's only hacker friend after Agent Frank Devereaux had retired and moved to freaking Gleason, Wisconsin. It was Frank's constant paranoia about the government coming after him after his retirement that Dean lost contact with him in the first place.

"Well, thanks for trying Becky," sighed Dean, patting her on her little shoulders before starting back to his office.

"Wait!" called Becky so that Dean turned around.

"Yeah, Rosen?"

"There's a way!" She called happily, pulling out her phone.

Dean blinked and walked back, once again interested.

"How?"

"I've got friends."

"No you don't, Becky," teased Dean.

"Oh shut it." She rolled her eyes but smiled, her eyes now going to her phone screen before she started typing. "I have a friend in the CIA, named Charlie. Someone that should be able to help." She didn't look up from her phone to see Dean's smile but she knew it was there.

"Thanks Becky, you're amazing."

Becky waved her hand at him dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, you just owe me one read over of this Johnlock fic."

Dean groaned, the stories Becky sent him were usually good but the Johnlock ones were a little... extreme. Like this one she had sent him while he was in the hospital after a car chase gone bad named Alone on The Water, Dean would never really get over that one. He hated the music of today but Christina Perri made him tear up every, single, time. Not that anyone knew that or would ever know that. _Ever_. But like the good little soldier Dean was, he nodded.

"Its a deal Becky."

Becky squealed.

Dean shook his head in amusement and then raised a hand to Becky, "Text me when you find something out. I'll be heading out soon."

"Ok!" She called just before placing her phone to her ear and saying, "Good morning Charlie! I have something..." The rest of that conversation was lost to him as he walked into his office once more to find Agent Novak leaning over his computer, probably reading something.

"Grab your coat," growled Dean, not in the mood for Agent Novak's bullshit.

 

They walked to the parking lot in silence, it wasn't even comfortable... Not with Agent Novak's cold shoulder and Dean's increasing urge to punch something.

He missed his old partner.

When they got to the crossway, between the company cars and the personal cars, Dean made a hard right and for the first time since their not too nice conversation, Novak spoke up, "What are you doing?" Dean just continued to walk, not giving his partner an explanation of how he was 'the Chosen' child of the bureau. Well, he caught a lot of shit, more shit than the other agents had to deal with. If the trip was longer than 30 minutes, and if there was no gunfire, Dean was allowed to drive Baby. His baby, his number one, the love of his life, his '67 Chevy Impala. Nothing beat his baby, nothing.

When they neared his baby Dean started to smile, and sure, he was sure that he'd get some shit from Novak for it but he didn't care.

"Hey baby," he mumbled as he patted the side of his car with a loving hand. This car had a lot of history, his dad had bought it when he was fresh out of the Marines. This was the car that brought his mother to the hospital when she went into labor with Dean and later his brother, it was the car his mother drove him to football practice in. It was the car he and Sam had taken cross country after Sam's graduation when they got their matching tattoos. He loved this car and he swore that if Novak said anything about her he'd deck him right now, and then ask Bobby for a replacement. Instead he just got in the driver's seat and waited for Novak.

When the man didn't come he sighed and turned to see him actually looking awkward and nervous. Rolling his eyes, Dean opened the passenger door.

"Come on Agent."

* * *

The drive wasn't as bad as Dean had thought; he popped in his AD/DC cassette once they left the congestion of Washington DC's roads. Up until that point the drive had been silent except for when Dean would silently curse any car that got too close to his baby, but as soon as they hit the wider road Dean turned on the stereo and turned it up to only half its full potential, blasting 'Black in Black'.

This is when things changed.

Dean didn't expect Agent Novak to like music, or even really know what the fuck music was, but if Dean's hawk-like senses were right, Novak was mouthing the song along perfectly and those god-like fingers of his were drumming on the windowsill. Maybe he could like this tight ass a little.

About a half an hour later both of them were a hell lot more comfortable with each other even if they hadn't shared a word since they left the parking lot. Dean had removed his jacket, loosened his tie and rolled up his suit shirt sleeves while Novak had done the same, except adding a couple buttons to the contribution. And by this point, neither of them were embarrassed that they were openly singing 'Shoot to Thrill' together.

With the windows down and the fresh air coming through the windows it seemed like they had changed. It was funny, when it was just the two of them, the car and music the aggression from both sides seemed to fade. They weren't just FBI soldiers anymore, they were humans, just two guys rocking out to the old classics that would never die in Dean's heart.

When he noticed that they were running low on gas he pulled over to a station to fill her up. Both agents removed themselves from the car at the same time, which in Dean's mind was a little... odd. But he watched as Castiel walked his way towards the store and he let it slip from his mind.

A couple minutes later they were back in the car, two cups of coffee, some sweets, and strangely a pack of cigarettes in between them. Dean should have guessed that godly voice didn't come from anything else. Was it bad that Dean was slightly excited to see the other agent smoke? He convinced himself it was totally normal to want to see how someone with such a physically exhausting job could keep such a bad habit. Yeah, that was totally it.

Unfortunately Dean went the majority of the car ride without seeing the other agent smoke. They were about 15 miles out of Fredericksburg, Virginia and towards Minerals when Cas reached over between them while 'Walk This Way' was playing. Dean hadn't really thought anything of it, he had told Cas he could have the rest of the cookies in the bag so he just assumed that was his goal.

And boy was Dean surprised when he heard the telltale 'thump thump' of a cigarette carton being packed. As Dean's luck was neurotic at the best of times he was proud that Agent Novak was concentrating on removing the protective plastic from around the carton of cigarettes. Otherwise he would have noticed how Dean's head swung towards him like it was all ball bearings.  As soon as Dean realized his reaction he turned his eyes back to the road but it was too late; he saw the bright blues zero in on him.

"Is it alright if I have one in your car?" He asked, his free hand hovering over the hand crank for the window. 'No, no you can't get that smell in here it'll be hell to get out of the leather and it'll remind me of you and how much of a dick you are and your fucking hands and your god damn fucking cracked lips.'

"Sure." Dean answered just before his brain decided to scream _'Well fuck you very much mouth, where was your brain on that one genius?'_ His friends, his brother could never know about this. The other agent stared at him for a quick moment before nodding slightly to himself and rolling the window down completely. Novak reached into his pant pocket and pulled out a set of matches, striking one.

It wasn't working. With the speed Dean was going and the fact the windows were down there was no way a match would stand a chance. Dean silently thanked the gods for his little victory against Agent Novak and smirked to himself. That however, didn't last for long because just as Dean was settling into his smug face Agent Novak let out thee most sinful sound to grace man and it wasn't even that loud, just a small little groan in frustration as he rested his head against the headrest and whatever fight Dean had before left him completely.

With a sigh Dean reached across the space between him and Agent Novak and opened the glove compartment feeling around for the small box he kept in there. Pulling out the small black metallic case he handed it over to his new partner. "Take care of that for now." He warned before adding on with a grumble 'or I'll kill you' for good measure. Novak seemed to opt out of any conversation to instead open the small box and peer inside at its contents. Despite Dean's paranoia about Novak losing or scratching the precious object it did good to see the man's constant straight face change into one of surprise.

It wasn't anything really, not to an outsider. They wouldn't -- Novak wouldn't, understand the simple matte iron lighter with the words of an old 1971 song. But Dean did, he knew the history behind that lighter and the emotional investment behind it. Why Dean decided that letting him use the lighter was a good idea he had no idea, so he watched him like a hawk as Novak rolled the metal over in his hands.

"Is this from that CCR song?" Novak voiced after a while of just the car engine as Dean's cassette ended a mile back. Dean's eyes, which had returned to the road in the silence, looked over at Agent Novak with a raised eyebrow. "Yeah" He paused, curious, "How'd you know?" Novak just rolled his eyes but still held the lighter carefully, "'I want to know, have you ever seen the rain? Comin down on a sunny day' aren't really lyrics in need of decryption, correct?"

Well now who looked like the jackass?

Dean sighed and nodded, "Yeah, well..." Well what? There was nothing to say to that, with nothing clever jumping into his head. Dean watched how Novak's fingers ran over the metal like he was testing it, trying to find out its past. So of course Dean opted to let silence fill the car as Novak continued to play with the lighter.

"May I ask what the history is?" Novak's simple question surprised Dean, a normal partner of course would ask about it and Dean would evade it like the plague so why should Agent Castiel Novak? No, he read everything he needed to know from the papers right?

Novak seemed to notice the slight change in Dean's eyes and turned away to light the cigarette. "It's understandable." Was his only response as he let the conversation drop into a silence that was still strangely comfortable.

Unlike the silence before however, Dean was the one to break it. "It was a gift from my dad to my mom." He spoke up randomly, his eyes staying on the road to either stop himself from looking at his new partner's mouth or from showing any emotions, he wasn't sure. "They met right before my father was sent over to Vietnam." He shrugged slightly as if to make it less of a deal, "That song was the song my dad asked my mom to dance to when they first met so it was their song." He breathed out a sigh as he continued, "My mom never used it herself, the lighter I mean. My dad was the smoker in the family but it stuck and when he came home she had given it back to him, sort of a 'I'm still in love with you' deal I guess."

For the first time since his little rant he looked over at Castiel and saw that those damn cerulean pools zeroed in on his face as smoke flowed around Novak's face. Dean suddenly found his throat dry and was unsure of what to do, sure he should be looking at the road but it was eleven in the morning on a weekday, not that many people would be on the roads at this point even if it was spring. While Agent Novak's face was still untouched by emotion, his eyes did contain some semblance of sadness. "I see." was all he said however before he took another drag and carefully placed the lighter back in it's protective case and put it back in the glove compartment where it belonged.

* * *

The rest of the drive was uneventful with Dean just sneaking looks at Novak while they had put on some CCR (Dean had been very sneaky in making sure Novak didn't pick out Green River or Pendulum as both albums had some horribly emotional songs to them).

When they made it to Mineral, they stopped at the police station and quickly fixed themselves up so they looked more professional. However it seemed like Novak's tie was just not listening to his hands. And okay, it was an inanimate object but how did they say no to Novak's fingers? Dean was pretty sure if those hands told him to do something he'd bend over backwards for them... hehe.

After fixing his own suit shirt and tie he walked over to Novak and buttoned the top button before fixing the tie. He didn't give a shit if the other man was going to be a prude and be mad at him for fixing his outfit, it needed to be done and if he kinda wanted to do it just to have his knuckles rub across Agent Novak's stubble no one would be the wiser.

After fixing Novak's outfit he stood straighter, his eyes locking with his partner's. It was like getting lost in the ocean, deep pools of rushing blues where you end up finding yourself unable to breath.

They stood there for God knows how long until a car door closed a block down from where they were, breaking their eye contact as both looked over.  The moment they had was lost but... there was something there, not overwhelming sexual tension (ok, that was so there too...) but it was more of a challenge, see how far Dean could go almost. In that moment Dean stopped calling Agent Novak 'Novak' in his head but rather Castiel.

Dean and Castiel made their way into the building, both flashing their FBI badges to get to the sheriff the quickest way; they were expecting them after all.

As it turned out the sheriff had gone out for lunch so he'd be back in thirty minutes. Just enough time that they didn't bother leaving but long enough for them to want to do something. So Castiel opted to leave and grab the case file while Dean waited in the office for him to get back.

That's when she happened.

She walked in like a whirlwind, all black hair and soft brown eyes with oh so touchable skin. She was wearing the average outfit of an officer with a thin golden chain disappearing under her collar and damn did she pull it off. So could you really blame Dean for checking her out? It wasn't like Castiel was around to keep his eyes preoccupied and it wasn't like he was going to get a special serving of Castiel's meat and potatoes any time soon.

So standing up he walked over to the desk the woman had just occupied and gave his award winning smolder. "Hello" He mused, leaning against the table slightly. The woman's attention was automatically drawn to Dean's striking features and full lips. "I'm agent Dean Winchester." He continued as he reached out a hand. The woman flashed a pearly white smile and took his hand, "Officer Lisa Braeden, pleasure to have your help sir." She was totally flirting with him, Dean decided, there was no way those bedroom eyes meant anything else... now if they were only blu- Dean caught himself and moved his view to the woman's hand; no ring.

Score.

"It's no problem Officer." He grinned as he slowly let go of her hand and placing it on the desk to balance himself. Dean, being Dean, got to the point rather quickly even if he shouldn't have stated it in such an...awkward way. "My partner and I just got into town and we'll probably be spending the night here. Any good places around here?" Lisa blinked and seemed to be taken aback by that statement.

At first Dean didn't realize what was wrong with what he said but then it clicked. If his ears turned pink he prayed the fluorescent lights didn't give it away. "N- no," He cleared his throat, "As in my partner as in work not..." He moved his hand around vaguely and realized that it could easily be taken as inappropriate so he shoved his hands into his pant pockets before he could make even more of a fool of himself.

"Is there a problem over here, Agent?" Castiel's voice came from directly behind him and Dean could just hear the smirk on his lips. Son of a bitch.  

"No nothing is wrong here, Novak." He almost snapped, only controlling himself a second before the words came out. Just fucking call him Dean or at least Winchester, how hard was that? It wasn't like Winchester was an unknown last name, nothing like Novak, Winchester was a freaking gun for Christ's sake. "You get the case file?" Dean dared to turn around now, his back stiffer than before.

Dean didn't think turning around would be 110% a bad idea, he was kinda thinking it'd be an 85% bad idea but now that he was half an inch away from Castiel's face he knew it was horrible. Breathing in slightly he kept on staring, but not at the eyes this time, no, this time his eyes fearlessly traveled over the man's face. He prayed that it didn't seem as sexual as it felt to perform but he couldn't help it. This close he could smell Castiel, actually smell him, all man, a light whiff of cologne that reminded Dean of damp summer forests, the smell of tobacco which just drew Dean in.

Tobacco was the smell of home for him, due to his father's constant smoking habits after his mother's death. Dean had grown up with it, the impala used to smell like smoke all the time; until Dean had to change the upholstery after a particularly bad gun fight had left him bleeding all over the holey vinyl seats. When he had updated the upholstery he had gone one grade up and gotten leather seats instead, it was a great idea.

Officer Braeden cleared her throat as soon as Dean's mind started to go back to Castiel's hands across the leather when he had reached back into the back seat to retrieve his jacket and he silently thanked her for that. "I think I just heard the Sheriffs' car pull up." She smiled at Dean when he turned back around towards her and he nodded, "Thank you Officer." He threw her another award winning smile and she just couldn't help but smile back. "Lisa please, Agent."

Double score.

"You can call me Dean, Lisa." Maybe he wouldn't have to get a hotel room and be around Castiel for a long period of time because honestly, the smells he was giving off and those baby blues were starting to affect him in different places other than his crotch.

The sheriff walked over to them at this time and introduced himself. "Sheriff Jake Devins boys." He shook both Castiel's hand and Dean's respectively and then shoved his hands into his pockets as he nodded his head towards his office.

The two agents followed the older man into his office and Castiel shut the door behind them before they all took seats. "I'm assuming you boys are here about the murders?" He inquired as he looked over the desk to find some papers that he then handed over to Dean. Dean nodded and flicked through the papers as Castiel answered in more length, "Yes, do you have any idea of what might be happening?"

The files that Devins handed over to Dean were essentially the same as the report, all females ranging from the ages of 18 to 35, all with the same double axe carved into their bare chests with any valuables removed. Dean placed the paper down and looked at the sheriff as he talked, "No." He sighed and rubbed his face, "Just that they're all virgins."

Dean scoffed, "You're telling me that-" He checked the files again, "Ms. Lori Wilburn here was a virgin?" He found it hard to believe that a 35 year old could have never gotten some.

Castiel peered over his shoulder and shook his head in disappointment, "She was a nun, Dean." He scoffed as if Dean was stupid and hold the fuck up did Castiel just call him Dean and not the growled out 'Winchester'? Now that was new.

"Oh." Dean just mumbled out, unable to make a good comeback. The Sheriff just shakes his head and speaks up, "Sister Lori was one of the town's most involved members. She went to every event, even the AA meetings to support the addicts."

"Do you know what happened the night Sister Wilburn died?" Asked Castiel as he moved away from Dean to look more properly at the Sheriff, Dean wouldn't admit it to himself but he missed the added heat of Castiel next to him.

Sheriff Devins nodded his head and pulled out another paper, skimming it over before handing it to Castiel. "She went and did her prayers first thing, went to the kindergarten class from 11 am to 2 pm and from there she went to the municipal building for the AA meeting and to help with a party. She left there at around 8 that night and her body was found the next day at 7:14 in the morning near the woods." Castiel nodded all the while as he read the times on the paper before handing it over to Dean. "Very well." He sighed as he scratched his chin thoughtfully, the sound of stubble being itched hitting Dean's eardrums and causing him to think inappropriate things. "May we see the bodies?" Castiel asked the sheriff as he stood, Dean following him because that was obviously the sign to actually start to work.

The sheriff nodded and moved his hand, staring at his own papers now. "Yes, tell them I sent you. I have a lot of work to do so I will be unable to join you." Both agents nodded and turned to leave the room. When they left Lisa was standing outside of the room holding a cup of coffee in her hand and a smile on her face as soon as she saw Dean. "Good luck agents." She declared as she entered the office of the sheriff.

Dean grinned to himself but couldn't help but notice that as they were leaving the building Castiel seemed to have a stick farther up his ass than normal. Great, he was going to be a joy to work with.

* * *

They made their way to the morgue in under the average 10 minutes, Dean was a speeder but being an FBI agent had its perks. The entire time Castiel stayed quiet, eying his pack of cigarettes on the seat next to him but keeping far away from them to Dean's disappointment.

They walked into the building, through the back to the morgue after flashing their badges around a couple of times to get the clearance. They walked into the stark white room and the mortician pulled out the five bodies the boys needed to see. They both took two different bodies to check, Dean noticed that Kerri Nicklin had three of her teeth removed. When he asked the mortician he had answered with a "Yeah, she had three golden teeth. The bitch was rich." Well that was new and meant that whoever took her had enough time to remove them before dumping her body off in the football field near the school.

Somehow they both ended up standing over Sister Lori's body to discuss their theories. Castiel was poking at the axe meticulously carved into the woman's chest as he talked, "I have noticed that these are all over the heart." He motioned with his other hand at the bodies behind him as he continued to poke and prod. Dean nodded and studied the body as well, "Yes and that anything even remotely valuable is removed."

Castiel nodded at that and peeked up at Dean, "There is no doubt this is a cult." He stated with such finality that Dean couldn't help but agree. "Yeah but the question is what kind of cult?" Dean leaned closer to the body and Castiel to discuss this because the last thing he needed was the mortician thinking they were insane. Castiel pointed at the symbol cut into the nun's skin. "I'll have to look it up but..." He turned his head up to Dean, locking eyes. "This is the labrys, or double sided axe. It was the symbol for King Minos back in the day." He turned his head back to the nun's body and pointed at her neck, "When I was reading the reports it stated that she had a golden cross and if you look you can see a thin bruise around her neck, like the necklace was removed forcibly." Castiel leaned away from the body and snapped off his rubber gloves, throwing them into the garbage without a second look. "Since all the bodies show signs of valuable metals being removed no matter how difficult, I can assume that it's something to do with Minos because of his fondness for riches."

Dean wanted to argue with the other agent but it just made sense so he didn't, instead he removed his rubber gloves as well and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Alright, well" He sighed, making a face at what he was about to say "I guess it's time for research."

Castiel smirked and shook his head as they started towards the door together, "You say it like it's a bad thing, Dean."

"It is a bad thing Castiel."

"Novak."

"Whatever... Castiel."

* * *

Dean hated research.

Hated it.

Sure, he could do it but it was just so damn boring that he always got the urge to do something energetic, like go for a drive, drink, have sex. Something. So it was really bad that they had somehow moved from the library to a hotel. Sure Dean and Castiel both got two different rooms but they had both decided that Dean's room was better for researching and that they should do it together.

Castiel sat at the small, crappy table in the corner, his jacket off and his shirt sleeves rolled up while Dean took a break and started to pace around, needing to do something. Anything.

Dean's eyes kept traveling to his new partner, he was bent over his mac laptop, typing and occasionally pausing to read something before going back to typing. Castiel's dark brown hair looked black in this shit lighting, and his face was much more defined by the laptop light and as if it wasn't enough the fluorescent light caused Castiel's eyes to turn even more electric blue. Dean subconsciously licked his lips as he watched his partner. This is why he should have gone back to the police station and flirted with Lisa, because while Dean was openly bisexual Castiel made him gay as hell.

"Ah!"

Castiel's exclamation brought Dean back from the world of Castiel's fine features and over to the laptop. Dean walked over, leaning over Castiel's shoulder to get a better look at whatever he had found. To Dean's disappointment the smell of tobacco smoke that had surrounded Castiel had left, leaving only the other smells of man.  "What is it?" Dean asked as he skimmed the page but kept getting distracted by Castiel's fingers since now Castiel had decided it'd be a good idea to point out all the important bits, "'Here. To summon Minos, a prince and judge of Hell one must have six virgin sacrifices in the month of March. The bodies must be stripped of all things valuable and left at six points. The last sacrifice must be on the night of the full moon and in the center of the five other sacrifices.'" Castiel turned his head slightly to catch Dean's eyes and god dammit Dean, why are your legs getting all funky now? "There have been five sacrifices and the full moon is tomorrow night.  Which means-"

"-That tonight will be the last sacrifice." Dean finished, nodding to himself and pulling away from Castiel to rub the back of his head. "Shit." He grumbled as he turned around uselessly looking around the hotel room. "Do we know where the last point will be?" He questioned, turning his eyes back to Castiel.

Castiel nodded and pulled out a map of the town he had grabbed from the police station. Taking a pen Castiel marked each place on the map that the bodies had been found. Taking his mac computer he drew lines to each murder in order to reveal a five pointed star. "It'd be in their area." He mumbled circling the middle of the inverted pentagram.

Looking at the coordinates on the map Castiel quickly typed them into his computer and waited for it to react. "If we can find out where it is we can probably camp out there and wait." Castiel stared at the screen, as Dean responded "Yeah but they can just kill them anywhere else." The blue eyed agent shook his head as he started to survey the map in front of him, "Unlikely. They have to perform the sacrifices on spot or they do not work. So it's our best bet."

"Great." Dean growled, rubbing his head again, "Well, if we're going to pull an all-nighter we should get some sleep now." Dean hated all-nighters, he really did, so if he was going to pull one he was definitely going to take a nap, and wow did that make him sound like an old man.

He was waiting for the expected sarcastic comment from Castiel but it didn't come, instead Castiel just nodded and stood up, "That sounds wise." He agreed and for some odd reason he seemed to be more relaxed, like there was something that was off his mind at that comment.

"Alright." Dean cleared his throat, "So we'll get ready at like... 10? That sound good?" Castiel nodded as he started to loosen his tie and reach into his pocket where he stuffed his cigarette pack. "I will see you then Dean." He stared into Dean's eyes for a second, as if looking for something and then left.

* * *

Of course Dean didn't get to sleep right away, he had stripped his clothing down to his undershirt and boxers and was about to close his eyes for a good five hour nap when he just happened to look out his window and holy shit that was a mistake.

Dean had been laying in bed, the covers surrounding him like a little fortress when he had rolled over to the other side and bam; there was Castiel. He wasn't wearing his suit, well no, correction, he was wearing his undershirt and his suit pants and in the sun beat down on him, making him glow.

Castiel might be smaller than Dean but without all that fabric covering him he was larger than life, he had toned pale arms with veins popping and a collarbone that could kill. Castiel was standing about 10 feet away from the window, his profile revealed to Dean.

Dean watched Castiel as he breathed in his cigarette and the way his chest rose to the occasion to be filled with nicotine and oh, Dean wasn't going to bed now. Castiel's body was a plank, an honest to god plank of man, flat down and all corded muscle.

Dean was mesmerized, he was gone in his starring, that was until a flash of black caught Dean's attention. Dean dragged his eyes from Castiel's chest and messy dark hair and towards the man's physically perfect ass. Now that was something Dean would be willing to bite and play and- there it was again. That freaking black thing towards Castiel's back. Dean forced his eyes up away from that perfectly formed rump and up, towards Castiel's back and damn... Dean didn't except Agent Castiel Novak to have a tattoo of that magnitude.

It was hard to see what it was, Castiel was too far away to tell, but whatever it was, it was what continued to flash black for Dean. The tattoo, from the looks of it, covered Castiel's back completely and even some of the back of his arms and now Dean was just dying to know what the hell it was. But, as the fates decided, at that moment Castiel dropped his head to stare at the cigarette he had just thrown on the ground before stomping it out.

Dean, realizing that Castiel could turn any moment to see him staring, turned over in his bed and away from his partner; closing his eyes and praying that he'd get to sleep in the next hour or so.. and that his heart would stop the blood pulsing to unwanted places.

* * *

Darkness filled the hotel room now, the lights from the street lamps outside filtered in through the open window as someone banged on the hotel room door like it was the only way to survive.

"Coming, coming!" Groaned Dean as he rolled out of bed and pulled his gun out from under his pillow.

"Agent Dean Winchester you open this door right now!" That was Castiel's voice and he sounded pissed, really pissed. Dean immediately holstered the gun in his boxers and opened the door. Castiel came in like a whirlwind of brown hair and blue eyes, grabbing Dean by his shirt and pushing him against the wall. "What the hell dude!?" Dean yelled but the shorter man held him there, glaring at him. "What exactly are your feelings towards me Agent Winchester?" Jesus, why was he so fucking hot with his jaw jutting like that and fury in his eyes?

"I- uh.. I." Was all that Dean could respond before Castiel pulled him away from the wall and pushed Dean onto the bed and when the hell did Castiel become this strong? "You know what I think?" Growled Castiel into his ear, one hand moving to Dean's hips and pressing them down so he had to sit down on the bed. Dean tried to talk but it was lost somewhere in his throat.

Apparently however, Castiel didn't need his reply because he just filled in the silence anyway; "I think you think I'm weak, that I'm just some fancy bureau boy with no kills under my belt." He growled again but this time his pink tongue slipped out between his warm cracked lips and ran along Dean's neck sinfully. "I've killed people for just looking at me funny." His hands were investigating Dean's body with such curiosity, a heated fire, that Dean couldn't breath. He couldn't get the lump out of his throat and he couldn't really hear properly because blood was rushing to his ears.

"I could kill you here, right now." Castiel growled deep into Dean's ear and Dean couldn't help but shiver. "But I won't." Castiel's mouth moved to Dean's chin and nipped at the skin, his hands slipping under his shirt and boxers, feeling the plains of his skin. "Since I first saw you I wanted you, fuck, just hearing about the headstrong Winchester got me bothered." His fingers slipped lower under Dean's boxers, scraping against the sensitive skin. Dean cursed himself for the little groan that followed and the fact that his body pushed his hips up more to Castiel's hands.

Castiel just chuckled and grinned deviously, "It was your eyes though, Winchester" he started, his fingers now moving over and around Dean's member and straight to the soft, sensitive skin below, "The biggest pools of green I've ever seen." He mumbled against Dean's neck where his mouth had migrated as his hand had gone more south. "You challenged me the moment I saw you; and I wanted to prove you wrong."

For the first time in this entire exchange Dean spoke up, "Cas..." He breathed, his hands grabbing at Castiel's arms, "Please Cas..." It was all he could manage but it seemed like enough for push Castiel forward. With a quick line of tisks Castiel's fingers moved up towards Dean's member once again, "See? Was it that hard?" Castiel licked his lips with that fucking pink tongue again and this time it was really hard for Dean to control himself. "N-no." He breathed, trying to stop his body from the sporadic convulses it was doing with no such luck.

Cas didn't seem to mind though because the hand that had been holding Dean's upper chest moved down and forced Dean's boxers down. With one last smirk at Dean, Cas' head started to lower towards Dean's cock but Dean stopped him. There was no way in hell Dean was letting Castiel get away with being fully clothed while he was left here in just his undershirt. Dean reached over and grabbed Castiel's shirt and started to pull the muscle-t up, willing Cas to get the idea.

He did.

"You want this off?" Castiel mused in an ever teasing way as he pulled at the fabric.

"Jesus Cas, yes! Please." Dean was pretty sure he'd never begged this much in his entire life but there was always a first time for everything. Castiel smirked and pulled back just enough to remove the shirt and lean back towards Dean's physical crossroads.

"Now Dean" Castiel growled, looking up at him and locking eyes. "You better remember this." And then he was gone, kissing Dean's shaft up slowly towards his crown. Dean was already past a point of no return but he could have sworn just before he closed his eyes that as Castiel's hot mouth covered Dean's cock there were shadows of wings behind Castiel, coming out of his back.

* * *

Dean woke up some time around 9:10 to a wet bed and a thunderstorm outside. "Son of a bitch." He growled, realizing that, of course, that was a dream and not real life. That Castiel's mouth probably wasn't that sticky sweet just after Dean came in it, that his hair wasn't that crazy after running his fingers threw it, that Dean probably couldn't make the real Castiel call out his name into a pillow like he did in his dream.

God Dammit.

Dean stood up after a moment of collecting his thoughts and storing them away for a cloudy day. Going over to his duffel bag he grabbed a new shirt and boxers, stripping the ones he had on and heading towards the shower.

He washed away the sweat he had gained over his dream adventures with Castiel and stayed in the shower a little longer than necessary with the water a little colder than it needed to be.

Once that was done, Dean stepped out of the shower and dried himself off before climbing into his new underclothes. Good thing he brought them.

Dean stared at himself in the mirror and even though he got four hours of extra sleep, he was tried, like really fucking tired. It was emotionally draining to have what you think was actually happening to only turn out to be a dream and nothing more. Sighing to himself Dean left the confines of the bathroom, his mind completely somewhere else.

If his mind hadn't been somewhere else he might have noticed the shadowy figure behind the door to the bathroom, if his mind hadn't been somewhere else he might have been able to stop the large metal bat that hit him over the head; knocking him out.

* * *

When Dean awoke from his knockout there were some things he could feel right off the bat. First of all, there was dried blood plastered onto the side of his head, secondly that he was tied up, thirdly he was somewhere other than the hotel and lastly, he was still in his fucking boxers and undershirt.

Son of a bitch.

Opening his eyes Dean looked around. He was in a barn, son of a bitch, he was in a barn. If he remembered correctly the place where the final sacrifice was to take place was on a farm.

"Son of a bitch." He growled as he rolled his head to try and message the nasty crick in his neck and god damn was his head hurting. Who the fuck brings a metal bat anywhere?

"Oh he's up." A feminine voice came from in front of him, followed by the creak of someone getting out of an old chair. Wait, Dean knew that voice.

Lisa Braeden walked into the light in front of him, a demonic smile painted on her lips. She was long out of her officer uniform and in a black robe, "You have to be shitting me." He growled, moving his hands against the cuffs but it was useless, they were actual cuffs, not that useless shit people bought offline. Lisa just smiled wider and shook her head, "No babe it's all real."

"No shit Sherlock!" Dean reacted automatically, spitting some old blood in her direction, fuck pleasantries. Lisa just raised an eyebrow towards Dean and sighed dramatically, "Well aren't you a pig. I thought we could do this easily." She shook her head and removed a knife from her waist strap.

"Yeah, you can let me go so I can kick your ass." Dean reported, only seeing red.

"Oh" Lisa sighed, placing her free hand on her hip and waving the knife around as if it was nothing, "And here I thought you were one of those men who would never hit a girl." She mused as she walked closer to Dean.

"Bitch I will make an exception for you!"

"No need." She motioned once again with her knife hand as she closed the remaining distance between them, "I'll just kill you to get you out of the way." She shrugged uncaringly.

"You're 'just' going to kill me? I'm an FBI agent you stupid fuck! I have a partner here too! It's kinda hard to not notice his partner missing!" Dean struggled with the cuffs when Lisa caressed his face, to even think he had been attracted to her before made Dean's stomach uproot, but then again, his heart wasn't exactly in it before. He had just been playing along with the parts he thought were right.

Lisa let out a little chimed laugh and shook her head, "Your partner has been neutralized, Dean. No one will come looking for you for another day or so and by that time Minos will be here." Fear, actual fear filled Dean. Cas had been neutralized? What the fuck did that mean? They had killed him? Tied him up somewhere else? Tortured him somewhere? He had known Cas for little less than 24 hours and there was pure terror in his heart. Pure terror and rage. He couldn't lose another partner.

"Minos isn't coming you deluded fuck! All cultists are the same! They think they can get away with this shit because some magical demon is going to cover their asses when the heat comes down! God damn stop drinking the juice!" He started to struggle more against the cuffs, uncaring that it'd totally leave bruises and some possible abrasions later. But he was expecting that pain, not the cold hard slap he now received from Lisa.

Dean had been hit by many women and punched by many men but he still never got over the open palm slaps women seemed to favor. He'd take a punch over a slap any day. "You don't know what you're talking about!" Yelled Lisa, her eyes now slits.

Dean couldn't help but laugh at that, "My job is to take care of cultists! Do you know how many 'official and complete' rituals I've seen? You know how many have worked? None, cow!"  

Lisa stood up straight and fixed her robe, "Well, this one will be different." She nodded to herself, as if that'd make it true for her. Dean just shook his head, annoyed beyond belief but now staying silent.

"I hate all ya' fuckers." He mumbled under his breath. Lisa opened her mouth to say something but there was some commotion outside the barn that demanded Lisa's attention. "You stay here." She warned, pointing the knife at him before leaving the room.

"Like I have anywhere else to go!" He screamed as she closed the barn door behind her. Cursing under his breath, Dean really looked around for the first time.

The barn was filled with all sorts of signs, lots of them, all welcoming the 'demons' in. Demons weren't real, they were fairy tales to tell the Christians to scare their followers into submission. Same with all other religions, Dean's mother Mary taught him that when he was little.

When he had a nightmare he'd crawl into her study where she'd be grading theology papers from her college classes. He'd crawl into her lap and she'd cuddle him and whisper about how it was all a lie, and that was why she taught it; to teach people that demons and angels weren't real. That people and what they did was true and factual. That's why Dean was so good at his job in the FBI, he had been raised to realize the differences between dove-shovers and the crazy cultists.

There was a loud bang outside, not a gun bang but a bat bang and Dean knew whoever carried that bat he was going to kick the fuck out of; no holds bard. But the thing was, when the barn door opened it was Lisa. And she didn't have any weapons except for her fucking knife.

She stalked right over to Dean, raising the knife as she steadied herself to strike. "I'm not a virgin you dumb fuck." He glared, unafraid of the glint of the knife. Sam would understand when he didn't come back, he understood the shit that Dean had to go through with the cultists, after all Sam did most of his cases.

What Dean didn't expect was for the barn doors to fly open with abnormal force and for Castiel, yeah his partner, asshole Agent Castiel Novak to come in, glock cocked and aimed straight at Lisa's forehead.

Dean didn't know what he expected, but he didn't expect for the coldness of Castiel's kill. That the second Lisa turned to see Castiel she was dead. Dean was just kinda happy that he got only a minimal amount of her blood on him, some across his face and on his white muscle-t but he could deal. Castiel turned his eyes on Dean and sighed. "You are fine, correct?" He asked as he leaned down to Lisa's body and found the keys to the cuffs hidden in her robe.

Dean cleared his throat, now that they weren't in immediate danger Dean felt actually awkward around Cas. It was like his freshman year of high school with Rhonda Hurley all over again. He finally spoke up after a minute, "Yeah I'm fine."

Dean heard as Castiel unlocked the cuffs and let them fall to the ground. As Dean rubbed his wrists Castiel finally had the chance to look around, seeming to study everything with a careful eye. "Those are wrong." He said motioning to some symbols that Dean had never seen before.

It was an odd switch of conversation, as if Cas didn't want to talk about the fact he had just killed Lisa in cold blood. "How do you figure?" He grunted as he continued to rubbed his wrists and stood up to investigate the sigils. Castiel joined Dean, standing next to him and Dean couldn't help but notice how Cas had no idea what personal space was.

"You see this?" He pointed towards an odd looking squiggle, "This is supposed to flipped and inverted." Dean angled his head to try to see what Castiel was even talking about. Giving up Dean growls out, "What the hell is it anyway?" If Dean didn't know better he'd say he saw Cas smirk, but it might have been the angle he was at.

"You can say I see a lot of angelic sigils around." Was Castiel's simple answer and it blew Dean away, "There are angelic sigils?" He just couldn't believe it, demons, sure people were afraid of them, but angels?

This time there was no mistaking it, Cas was smirking, almost fucking smiling, "Angels are often thought to be kind and gentle creatures." He shook his head, his eyes now meeting Dean's, something in them made Dean realize that this was something Cas had down pat. "They are not so. Angels are warriors, thousands of years of fighting back the forces of evil, years of fighting each other and then later years of fighting the humans and their idiotic ways. Angels are to be feared, Dean."

"How the fuck do you know this shit?" Well, he sounded like an unimpressed 18 year old for sure, but Cas didn't seem to mind.

"Because Dean, my family has named every child after an angel. We were raised to believe in all these idealistic beliefs."

Well that was unexpected.

"Wait-" Started Dean, turning completely to Castiel now. "You're named after an angel?" For some odd reason this sent odd vibes through Dean, remembering the dream from only a couple hours ago those wings all of a sudden seemed to be relevant and that opened the floodgates to remember other things about his dreams. Oh Jesus not right now, not with the creepy eye contact Dean was making with Cas.

Dead puppies, Dean, Dead puppies.

Castiel tilted his head at a good bird-like angle, "Yes, Cassiel, the angel of Thursday. My father deemed it necessary to change my name slightly so that the average American would be able to pronounce it. "

"Angel of Thursday." Repeated Dean, not believing this at all.

"Yes, Winchester. The angel of Thursday. You are correct." Castiel used Winchester as a sign that he was getting annoyed but his eyes still showed concern. "Were you knocked out by that bat-wielding neanderthal?" He asked, reaching a slender hand up to Dean's chin. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his iPhone and turned on the flashlight in a few quick motions. He was shining the light into Dean's eye before Dean really had an idea of what the hell was happening.

"What the hell man!?" He exclaimed moving away from Castiel, covering his eyes from the sudden burst of light.

Cas this time did roll his eyes, "I'm checking for a concussion Dean. You are acting very strange towards my namesake."

"Dude!" Dean said louder than he intended, "You're named after an angel!" Dean's brain just kept reverting back to that dream, the deep dark shadows of ink he had seen and how his mind had somehow picked this up, somehow.

"Many people have origins to their names. I'm sure you have one as well Dean."

"I do."

"See? I just happened to be named after an angel of the Lord."

"Yeah, exactly. An angel."

"You're not going to let this go are you?"

"Nope."

"You need pants."

"Oh fuck you."

* * *

Dean and Castiel eventually left the barn, after they surveyed the area for any remaining cult members. But it seemed that after Castiel's little silent attack they had all scattered and gone home. Cas apparently had walked about a mile to get the jump on the cultists so they had a while to walk to get to the car that Cas had apparently hot wired.

"Dude, you know how to hotwire a car?" Dean was impressed, Cas seemed like a law abiding citizen to Dean, so the fact that he could commit any sort of crime was intriguing.

Cas however, didn't seem to be amused. "Yes Dean, I do. It was a necessary skill to learn when you have my siblings." Cas had mentioned before some family members but Dean couldn't really picture it. Would they be as stuffy as him? They had to be religious. How many siblings did he have?

But, since they had a whole mile to walk and silence was not an option (Dean was in his boxers okay? Silence meant that they would have time to think and with his brain was trying to forcibly open his dream box) he figured why not, might as well ask personal questions. "How many siblings do you have?" It was a simple question but from the look on Castiel's face it was a hard one to answer.

"I have an older brother and sister and one younger brother." Castiel kept his face forward and shit straight as if not to let on to anything. So naturally Dean poked, "What's their names?"

Cas sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Gabriel is the eldest, Aneal or Anna my elder sister, and then the youngest Samandriel, we just call him Sam for short."

Dean couldn't stop himself from laughing at that, really? A younger brother that was named Sam? He couldn't stop his very manly snickering. Cas choose this time to actually turn and look at Dean, "Is there something you find amusing Dean?" He sounded mad and Dean realized that maybe Cas didn't know what was so funny.

"I have a brother, Samuel, but everyone just calls him Sam and I call him Sammy. It's just funny cause he's my little brother."

"Oh." Cas seemed to think on this for a good moment, which was bad because Dean's eyes seemed to zero in on Castiel's slightly pinched lips. Thank god that the silence only lasted a minute before Castiel spoke up once more, "Is he your only sibling?" This caught Dean off guard.

"Yeah." He cleared his throat, it was time for him to be uncomfortable now. "He's ah.. four years younger than me. Been taking care of him since I was four." He shrugged noncommittally, why he was informing Cas of all this information he had no idea, it was the walk and the fact he was his partner he swore, not the fact that in his dream he had ended up spilling his guts to the man as they had laid there, mumbling secrets into each others skin.

"That must have been a burden."

Dean didn't dare look over at Castiel now, instead he stared straight ahead, his eyes stuck on a blue Nissan a little ways away. Pants! He could practically hear them calling his name, 'Dean, Dean! Wear us! We need your exceedingly warm junk to snuggle in us!'

Whoa, maybe he did have a concussion.

"Nah." Was Dean's reply. He wasn't going to say anything else but he could feel those freaking blue laserbeams on him and he knew then that this was a chance for Castiel to know the actual Dean, not the one in the FBI Most Wanted Agents Gossip magazine. "I mean, sure it sucked that I couldn't be a normal kid but I mean, Bobby helped out a lot. Took us in when my dad left for his jobs." He shrugged again and really wished there was a way to stop this conversation but it was coming out like projectile vomit now. "When I was old enough to watch Sammy on my own Bobby would come around a lot and teach me stupid shit that I'd later teach Sam. Like you know, how to play basketball and other useless crap. Than Karen died and things changed. It was one thing for my dad to loose my mom but when Bobby lost Karen... He shook his head, Bobby kinda just gave up you know? My dad was filled with anger and rage but Bobby, it was just all heart break. He stopped coming around for months. I ended up having to ask our neighbor to teach me how to drive since my dad was in Italy at the time. When I learned to drive I would go down to the supermarket and buy mine and Sammy's food. Eventually we started to run low on cash, so I'd do yard work for my neighbors." Dean ran his hand over his face at the memories. "Bobby came around at the first snowfall that year, to help me get Sammy to school. He came over almost every day after that. He pulled me aside one day saying how he was sorry for ditching. Of course I forgave him." By this time they got close enough to the car that Dean could shut up.

Feeling sick to his stomach he opened the passenger seat and pulled out the pants. Throwing them on felt like the best thing in years. Some protection! Fuck yes. He still felt a little awkward with Cas standing behind him, his eyes boring into his back but Dean ignored the feeling and slipped into the car soon after.

It seemed that Cas now noticed that it was time leave because he jumped into action the moment Dean's eyes caught his. With a slight color to his cheeks Castiel walked over to the driver's side, sliding in and starting the car with his highjacking skills. Pulling out onto the stretch of asphalt with an easy turn of his wrist Castiel remained silent, concentrating on the road in front of them with a frown.

They sat in silence for a good three minutes before Cas spoke up, well someone was being a Chatty Cathy today. "Is that an anti-possession symbol on your collarbone?" It was random and totally unexpected that Dean had to look down at his own chest to make sure what Cas was even talking about.

"What? Oh yeah..." He sighed and leaned more into the seat. This was unfair, he was basically baring his soul and all he knew about Castiel was a few of his family members and that he knew all about angels. "I took Sammy to get them when he graduated high school." He shrugged easily and let the subject drop and this time Cas actually let that happen.

For the first time, the car ride was actually awkward, so in an effort to heal this silent distrust Cas turned on the radio and since he was driving, he got to pick the music. Dean wasn't sure if he actually enjoyed this music or not, but Castiel put on a station that had happened to be playing Radiohead's Backdrifts (Honeymoon is Over).

It figures that while Castiel knew classic rock that he'd be into Alternative 'Rock', but Dean kept his mouth shut and let Cas pick the music.

* * *

They finally ended up at the hotel and Dean stepped out of the car with as much grace as a drugged up yorkie. He would have fallen face forward if Cas hadn't caught him.

"Careful." Mumbled Cas as he pulled Dean upright and focused on his eyes again. "Dean I am worried for your health." He admitted, getting a little set of wrinkles between his eyes that Dean couldn't help but think of as adorable. "I think it'd be wise if you stayed in my room tonight, as your door hardly gives protection and I will have to wake you up every hour." He said it with such assurance that Dean didn't doubt him.

"Yeah, sure whatever man. Just... I'm really fucking tired." Castiel nodded and hoisted Dean up more and walked him into his room. Juggling Dean's body weight and sliding the key into the door Cas manages to get the door unlocked.

Using his elbow Cas opened the door and shoved in with Dean still leaning on his side. He traveled his way towards the bed where he gracelessly threw Dean down.

If Dean had been paying attention to his surroundings and not fallen asleep right away he would have noticed how somehow he ended up under the covers instead of on top of them.

* * *

Dean was pretty sure he wanted to kill Cas, yeah he was sure. Waking up to Castiel's face was, in theory, amazing but being woken up every hour on the hour was a different story. Dean wasn't able to actually dream because of this little fact. He'd get to that static time in the beginning of the dream but just as he was getting into the swing of it there would a little shake at his shoulder and Castiel mumbling "Dean, are you still here?"

Dean would curse and flail his arms trying to get Castiel away so he could sleep and he'd end up falling asleep to the sounds of Castiel's chuckles and the soft sounds of a lighter and the smells of cigarette smoke.

Ok, so maybe he was better off being woken up every hour on the hour.

* * *

 

The last time Cas woke Dean up it was 8 in the morning and he shoved Dean a little more aggressively than all the other times. "Come on Dean. It's time to leave."

Dean groaned and rolled over onto his stomach, sleep was so much better than paperwork. So much better. But as ever, Castiel wouldn't allow it. He opened the shades to the hotel window to let the morning light in, "Agent Dean Winchester you will wake up!" He called, walking over to Dean and ripping the covers off of him.

"Son of a bitch." Growled Dean as soon as he reached for the covers and found them too far to reach.

"I will get ice from the machine Dean, don't tempt me." Cas growled out and holy hell what was stuck in his ass now?

"Fine!" Dean shouted into his pillow, rolling off the bed and onto his feet. "What the fuck is up your ass today?" He grumbled, rubbing a hand over his face.

Castiel's suit shirt was rumbled and he looked dog tired and not one to be trifled with. "Oh I don't know," Castiel's sarcasm was pretty dry Dean commented in his head. "Maybe it's due to the fact that I've had to stay up for the last eight hours watching you sleep."

"You didn't have to!" Dean yelled back, it was way too early in the morning for this shit.

Castiel just shook his head and started towards the hotel room door. "Yeah I did, there wasn't anyone else here to watch over you." He sighed out as he opened the door, "I'm getting us coffee, how you want it?"

"Black." Dean said stubbornly.

"Oh how manly." Cas snapped before pointing at Dean when he rolled his eyes, "Hey, I could kill you here, right now. Don't tempt me." And with that Castiel slammed the door behind himself, leaving Dean with his words.

_'I could kill you here, right now.'_

Well, since Cas wasn't around Dean guessed he could open that little box named 'for rainy days and morning showers'.

It was time to take a nice long shower.

* * *

Dean spent a good 20 minutes in the shower and by the time he was done and he walked into the hotel room the window was open and Cas was sitting there on the sill, a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette hanging out the window.

Cas had to have heard him, but he just full on ignored him. Raising the cigarette to his lips he took in a good drag and held it there for a second longer than necessary before letting the smoke roll out of his mouth like a slow morning fog.

Dean wasn't a filmmaker, he was a closet photographer and he knew when he found gold.

This was it.

The morning light created a halo in Castiel's mussed hair and gave his features a dramatic look, his sleeves rolled up to reveal the soft light brown hairs that covered his arm along with the veins that popped slightly. The smoke rolling over his lips lit up giving him this air of loneliness as it mixed with the steam from the coffee.

Dean didn't even realize he was staring until his eyes were filled with Castiel's blues. "You're satanist coffee is on the table." Castiel's voice broke through to Dean and he nodded dumbly.

"'ight." He walked over to the table and sat down with a 'thump'. He sipped his coffee and it was indeed black coffee... Well good morning Vietnam to you too, coffee. Nothing quite like a shot of caffeine.

Dean couldn't help sneaking a peak at Cas as he sipped his coffee and leaning back in his chair. And boy, did he look tired. "On our way back to Washington I think you should take a nap." He voiced as Cas took a sip of his coffee.

"That would not be wise, you are suffering from a slight concussion Dean." Cas didn't even bother looking towards Dean as he denied his request. But Dean let it drop, he just really wished he had brought his camera.

* * *

The rest of the day was pretty boring and painfully average. They went to the police station, gave descriptions of all the cult members that Castiel had seen and wrote their reports. When Dean faxed the reports over to the office he couldn't help but fax a copy of Castiel's report to his private fax at home.

So what? Yeah he wanted to know what the other agent had said about the attack, sue him.

They piled into the car at around 2 in the afternoon and Dean couldn't help but splay his hands over the dashboard and rest his head against the steering wheel. "Oh baby I missed you." Sure it was only like, 12 hours since he had last been driving but she was his home and no one likes being away from home.

Ripping off his jacket and tie Dean threw them into the back and started the car, revving the engine happily before turning on the radio. Oh thank god, Boston.

_But there was something about you_

_I want you to know_

_It brought a change over me_

_It's startin' to show_

_I've got this feelin' inside_

_Gotta have ya, have ya, ain't no good to hide_

Grinning Dean turned to Cas and turned it up, he'd normally think that the other agent was annoyed with him, but Dean could see the smile pulling at the side of Castiel's lips so he knew he was safe.

Putting the car into reverse he pulled out of the parking spot before taking off on the road towards Washington DC.

 


	2. Of Angels and Cigarettes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you catch any grammar or spelling mistakes contact me via tumblr (sidingwiththeangels) and I'll edit it :) 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy :* I know there will be a part that will be a little tiring to read but bear with me XD

Dean and Castiel reached head quarters in under the average two hours due to Dean's constant speeding problem. As soon as they parked Castiel opened the door and slid out, pulling his phone out as he went.

Well that was.. disconnected. Dean shook the feeling of something being up and pulled himself out of the driver's seat. Stretching he watched as Cas' piano fingers slipped over his iPhone like it was nothing, like breathing. Cas sent whatever he was texting and slipped his phone back into his pocket before nodding his head towards the door.

"Ready?" His voice was steady and whatever stick had been removed on the case was sadly back.

"Yeah." Dean sighed before shoving his hands into his suit pants and following his partner up the stairs into the main office building.

* * *

 

As soon as they walked into the office, no seriously the very second they walked into the office, Becky was on top of Dean; squeezing the life out of him.

"Can't...breath.... Becky." He coughed out as Cas just watched with a raised eyebrow and that little smile-with-the-eyes thing he does.

"Sorry Dean!" She chirped, letting him go for air. "But when your report came in I had to file it and are you okay?" If there was something about Becky Dean knew for sure, her 'fangirl' heart didn't do well with real life problems.

"I'm fine Becky." He said with the most reassuring voice he could muster up before patting her on the shoulder.

"Are you sure?" Becky asked again studying his face, "I mean it sounded pretty action packed!" Dean opened his mouth to comment about how this was one of the easiest cases he had done in awhile but Cas cut him off. "If anything of Agent Winchester's was hurt it was possibly his pride."

Ow. Ok that was true.

"Hey!" Called Dean sending a glare at Cas but couldn't help the little smirk growing on his lips. It wasn't his fault, Cas started to smirk first. Dean didn't even realize that they were staring at each other until Becky broke the connection by giggling madly.

"What?" Dean forced his eyes away from Castiel's to look at Becky, not trusting any of her giggles.

"Oh nothing Dean!" She got on tippy toe and kissed his cheek before dashing away to her computer and phone.

That was so not a good sign.

Castiel turned to Dean and motioned his head towards Bobby's office door, "Shall we?"

Dean nodded and grabbed the bridge of his nose, "Not like we have any choice."

* * *

"What did ya idijts think was going to happen?!" Bobby slammed his hands on the desk table and while he was yelling at the both of them Dean knew it was mainly pointed towards him; it always was. But Dean did his best and stared straight at Bobby's face so not to instigate any more of his wrath. "Ya' know perfectly well not to go an' sign up for a hotel room under your own name! I thought better of you Dean!"

Dean took the heat, sitting straight up in his seat, his eyes not deviating for Bobby's face at all. This felt like the first time Dean had been brought home in a police car, except this time it was Bobby and not John.

Bobby sighed and rubbed his face with his large bear hands before slumping into his chair and muttering idjits under his breath. "This is it Winchester." He growled, removing his hand from his face to point at his favorite agent, "You're on desk duty. I'll have someone else get Agent Novak properly prepared working here."

To this Dean actually had something to say. "Bobby!" He flinched inwardly at his mistake but continued anyway, "This is unsanctioned! I've had worse jobs! Do I need to remind you of what happened in New Harmony?" Bobby actually visibly recoiled from that comment and Dean saw the flash of blue from the corner of his eye. Dean highly doubted Cas knew about what happened in New Harmony, Indiana and in all honesty he preferred it that way. "This was nothing compared to that Bobby! Putting me behind a desk is just going to get me fat and lazy and then you'll be down one of your best and one of your trainees wouldn't be up to code! You don't need that shit."

Dean was actually proud in himself for that convincing argument, sure he should have used the formal 'Agent Singer' and a lot less cursing but Dean didn't give two shits. Dean hated sitting around and hated paperwork even more.

Bobby seemed to think for a long moment before shaking his head and sighing, "You are definitely a Winchester." He growled out, taking a pen and crossing something out. "You'll be confined to any cases inside a 90 minute radius for the next month." He scribbled something on a paper he was writing then paused, "And you're not allowed to drive the impala anywhere while on duty."

"What?! Why?!" Ok, maybe Dean's voice totally went to the pitch of a whiny teenager but hopefully no one would notice, after all, this was about Baby.

Bobby slammed his hand down on his desk "Damnit boy because I said so! And I don't need ya' teaching our newest recruit how to undermine me!" Bobby was sure as hell a fan of pointing his finger at Dean like that'd make the statements more compelling.

It worked.

Dean flung himself back into his seat and crossed his arms, and okay so he reverted back to his teenage ways when Bobby tried to pull father rank on him, sue him.

"I believe that staying with Agent Winchester would bring a new outlook to this line of work." Dean whipped his head around to face his new partner who was staring at Bobby's face with a stony expression.

"How'd you figure?" Challenged Bobby, narrowing his eyes as he watched Castiel carefully.

Castiel sighed and gave Bobby the look he usually reserved for patronizing Dean before answering Bobby's question, "Before starting my partnership I was lead to believe by reliable sources that your bureau was incompetent." Dean and Bobby both simultaneously balked at that but Castiel held up a hand to silence them. "However in light of the last 24 hours of being Agent Winchester's partner I've come to the realization that he is just simply at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Thanks Cas." Dean mumbled under his breath before realizing what he just said.

Son of a bitch.

"What was that Winchester?" Questioned Bobby, his head turning back to Dean now. Dean cleared his throat and wished that he'd be able to cover his word fuck up. "I said 'Thanks Novak.'" It seemed to work with Bobby but when Dean snuck a look at Cas there was a look of... uncertainty written in those baby blues. Dean pulled his eyes away from Cas' than, realizing that he totally just used the nickname he gave Castiel when he was jacking off.

Oh he was so fucked.

"The way I see it is..." Started Bobby, completely at unawares of the inner battle Dean was having with himself. "Is you're both idjits and that someone found it funny to put ya' two together." Dean just rolled his eyes, losing all formality with Bobby. "Thanks Bobby, can I go or are you just going to ground me more?"

"Oh stop being such a drama queen Dean." He waved his hand towards the door, "Ya'll can leave. Getting tired of your faces anyway." And with that Bobby dismissed them, not bothering to look up from his desk.

Dean jumped up and walked towards the door before remembering something and pausing, "Hey Bobby."

"Yeah?" He grunted, not bothering from looking up from his paperwork; but Dean knew he was listening anyway. "Sammy's having a barbecue this weekend for his and Jess' anniversary. Are you coming?"

"'Course I am ya' idjit. Now go home." He shooed Dean away with his hand, not bothering to look up. Dean nodded at that and left the office with Castiel hot on his heels.

There was a silence as both of them walked into their office. "You know" Dean started as he cleaned up all the coffee cups around his desk to distract himself from actually looking at Cas, "you can come to Sammy's barbecue too."

Despite the fact that he was cleaning he could still see Castiel's head shoot up from behind his computer. "If you want." Dean quickly added, unsure if that was a mistake to suggest.

"Why would I go? I don't know any of your family members." Castiel's voice was wary and once again had that overwhelming feeling of uncertainty to it. Dean threw out his last empty cup of coffee and wiped his hands on his pants before looking up and meeting Castiel's eyes. "No offense Cas..tiel. But you're my partner now and that's part of being someone's partner around here. You get to know their friends and family." He paused and shrugged before adding on, "Besides, the majority of the people there will be our friends. The only family members that'll be there is my brother and I think Jess' sister and mom. It's hardly actually going to be blood relatives." He turned to look away from Cas and grab his own laptop that he had stuffed into it's respected bag.

When the silence carried on for more than a minute Dean turned to see Cas staring at him. Some serious staring, not some 'oh i was just looking at you' bullshit no a full on 'I can see to your soul' deal. It made Dean shuffle in his spot.

"I might be able to attend." Cas said, his eyes now staring into Dean's as he slipped out his phone and pulled up his contacts. He typed in something rather quickly before handing it to Dean, "I'll get back to you on it."

Dean nodded and typed his number into Cas' phone before handing it back and pulling out his own and just handing it to Cas, it wasn't like he had any phone secrets, it wasn't like anyone actually texted him, except for possibly Sam. But that was unlikely as the kid preferred to call. Castiel typed his number with swift fingers and nodded towards Dean, looking at his phone as it chimed something. "I'm going home now." He stated, grabbing the trench coat he had left on the chair the day before and starting towards  the door.

* * *

Cas had just left and now Dean had cleaned his side of the office, making him realize he really could go home. Grinning to himself about seeing his apartment and his dog Zepp, Dean threw on his jacket and left the office.

As he passed Becky she stopped him and pulled him aside. "Dean, I've contacted my friend in the CIA, she worked with Castiel before so she's writing her own personal report for you! You should get it by tonight!" Becky grinned and turned towards her computer, like she had better things to do than talk about hot men with her favorite 'bi-sexual best friend', or BSBF as she referred to him via text messages.

God the awkward shit he had talked to Becky about, it kinda threw him for a loop every once in awhile. "What are you doing Becky?" He asked trying to lean over Becky's small body to try and see what was on the computer. "Nothing!" She yelped, moving her hands in front of Dean's face so he couldn't see the screen. "Just go home Winchester!"

Raising his hands up in the air in submission he laughed, "Alright! Alright I'm leaving!" He grinned at her before grabbing her head and pulling her in for a huge, over dramatic, kiss on the forehead. "See ya' you little shit."

"You love me!" She sang after him as he started towards the door.

"You know it!" He yelled over his shoulder as he opened the door and descended the stairs to the parking lots.

* * *

Humming John Mellencamp's Jack And Diane to himself he finally entered the parking lot and made the hard right as always to get to the impala. The lyrics however were lost at 'Oh yeah life goes..' because the moment he turned the corner he saw something he never; ever expected.

He wouldn't have noticed this event if Cas wasn't wearing such a fucking crisp white shirt, he wouldn't have noticed it if the kissing sounds weren't so loud. He wouldn't have cared if he hadn't went and started to get feelings for Agent Castiel Novak. But here he was, in the bureau's private parking lot, watching Castiel suck face with some unknown man.

The feeling of wanting to punch the shit out of someone was only outweighed by the overwhelming feeling of needing to get a drink.

Dean stalked over to his car, unlocked the drivers door and after sliding in, slammed the door louder than he intended to. This of course, attracted Castiel's attention along with the other man's. Dean didn't want to look up, didn't want to see the peeved look on Castiel's face but he couldn't help it, he needed to know.

However when Dean did look up he was shocked to see Castiel advancing, looking like a complete a sexual mess, his hair mussed like how Dean had pictured it, his lips swollen a comforting pink and god damn it.

Instead of doing the intelligent thing of driving away he just kept his baby in park and waited for both men to walk closer. Cas, being the taller of the two, made it there first.

"Dean." It was obvious he had no idea what he came over to talk to Dean about, just that he had come over to talk to him and now he was lost for words.

Dean just raised a hand to Castiel and shook his head, "Look man," He searched for the words to what he was going to say and eventually found some that would work. "It's all fine, really." No it wasn't, it wasn't fine. He wanted to be in that man's spot, not here, in his car going home to an empty apartment and a dog that got all of his love.

Cas just nodded and moved his hand for the other man to come closer to the car. "Ah, Dean this my boyfriend Glen Washington. Glen, this is my partner Agent Dean Winchester." It was awkward, and Dean was thankful that Glen didn't seem like he wanted to shake Dean's hand so Dean was able to have his space.

Now looking at this Glen character however, Dean got weirded out. Officially weirded out, he was shorter than Castiel, about three or four inches. But that wasn't what threw him for a loop; no. It was the fact that Glen had the same jaw line as Dean, the same hair color, the same build as well. Sure, they were different in a lot of ways, Glen didn't have Dean's eyes, he didn't have his freckles, and their heights were six inches away from each other but still.

"Hello Mr. Winchester." Glen's voice broke through, he had an accent that Dean couldn't place... Oh Jesus was he from California? "It's Agent, Glen." Cas corrected him lightly, "we earned that title." Glen looked a little embarrassed but grinned at Dean, "Yeah sure, I've read all about you from the papers around the apartment."

Dean's stomach dropped at the same time that Castiel's face paled, but neither of them noticed the other's reaction. "Oh, so you guys share a place?" Glen nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets, and looking extremely comfortable, that or he was really good at faking comfort. "Yeah off on New York Avenue." Dean nodded, he knew the area, it was nice.

"Awesome." He said, trying his best fake smile for them, Glen seemed to believe it but Cas? Not so much.

Of course Dean didn't notice that, he was too busy trying to do everything in his power not to look at Castiel. "Where do you live?" Glen asked, what a fucking talker.

"Over in Tenleytown, Wisconsin Ave." He grumbled, looking over at the clock on the dash he turned back to the two, "Look I have to get home and feed my dog. I told my brother I'd be back home before noon so she's probably got an exploding bladder and mad munchies." Dean chanced a look at Castiel now, who's eyes were boring into Dean's face, increasing the tension in the parking garage.

Glen however, just smiled at Dean and raised a hand in goodbye. "Alright, maybe I'll see you around!" He chimed, wrapping his reasonably sized arm around Castiel's waist.

Dean was pretty sure he'd throw up soon if he didn't leave.

Castiel just raised a hand in goodbye to Dean and started towards a black pickup truck while holding his hand out to Glen for the keys.

Dean let out a silent prayer that the piece of crap truck was Glen's and not Cas' because there was something so un-Cas about it. Not that he really knew Cas, at all.

* * *

The moment he unlocked the apartment door and turned on the light he was attacked by 65 pounds of pure energy and fur. Laughing to himself at the sudden attack and kisses he was receiving he covered his face with his hands, "Calm down Zepp! Calm down!" He couldn't stop but break into a large smile, at least someone wanted him around. "How are you baby? You miss me?" He grinned and ruffled her head as he stood up. She trailed after him into the undersized kitchen and sat down at her bowl, poking it with her large snout.

"What you want?" He asked her, knowing that he had trained her to answer. "Canned or scraps?" Zepp barked happily, her tail wagging around crazily. Zepp was three now but she still was a little ball of sunshine.

Dean nodded to her bark and smiled, "I agree." He pulled out a can and some turkey scraps. Emptying both containers into her bowl he looked her over. "Now this is the real question." He said with a shit straight face, "Bathroom now or later?" Zepp placed her head down next to where her bowl always went and that was an answer enough. Smiling to himself he placed the bowl down and watched as she tore a hole into the mountain of food.

Unlike his animal counterpart Dean wasn't really that hungry, at all. So instead he grabbed himself a beer and closed the fridge with his foot. walking over into his livingroom he placed the beer down and stripped his clothing. He felt odd it wasn't only that feeling of seeing Cas with another man but the fact that he opened up to him. God he felt so fucking stupid!

Walking into his bedroom he threw his shirt into the hamper along with his pants. He didn't have time for this bullshit, if Cas was taken he could easily find someone more interesting.

Deciding that this was his new motto for the week he switched into jeans and grey t-shirt. No need to look fancy now, he was just going to walk the dog and then curl into his bed to sleep.

* * *

An hour later, after finishing off two beers and walking Zepp, Dean found himself curled up on the couch with Zepp laying over him. She wasn't going to let him out of her sight so that meant he'd actually have to take her into work tomorrow.

Castiel was going to have to meet her. Great.

* * *

Dean's phone chirped to life at about seven in the morning. Groaning he removed his arm from where Zepp had it pinned under her large fluffy body and brought it close enough to his face to read.

 

March 6, 2013, 7:05 AM

Where are you? Bobby is   
rather annoyed with your   
absence.

-Novak

 

Oh Dean was so fucked. Almost throwing Zepp off the couch he jumped up starting towards the bathroom as he texted Castiel back.

 

March 6, 2013, 7:05 AM

Shit. I overslept.   
I don't have an alarm   
in the livingroom.

I'll be there in ten.

 

March 6, 2013, 7:06 AM

What should I tell him   
in the mean time, Dean?

-Novak

 

March 6, 2013, 7:07 AM

Tell him Zepp got away   
from me on her morning   
walk and I had   
to chase her down.

 

March 6, 2013, 7:08 AM

Very well.

-Novak

 

Dean rushed around, throwing on some deodorant, a new suit and thanking the gods that his hair was short enough that it looked taken care of no matter what. Throwing a toothbrush in his mouth he grabbed Zepp's leash and whistled for her to come with him.

She agreed happily, looking a little too smug for her own good. Bitch was up to something.

* * *

It was about a five minute drive to his work everyday, this time he made it in two. And if there hadn't been traffic he would have made it there in one, but still, two was good.

Jumping out of the car, spitting out his toothpaste onto the ground he opened the door for Zepp who rushed out and started towards the door to the stairs, sniffing the ground all the while.

Dean had trained Zepp as a guard dog when he had first gotten her, that's why he was allowed to bring her with him to work, she could technically be an employee. She just rarely got to go to work. But the smelling she was doing was not part of the dog training, she looked more like the search and rescue dogs or maybe even a narcotics hound. But still, Dean pushed it to the back of his mind, being ten minutes late on your first day of being grounded was not a smooth move.

Dean and Zepp took the stairs two at a time before bursting onto their office floor. Everyone stared at the breathless, rosey cheeked Dean and the still-searching Zepp with her tongue stuck out the side making her look like such a dork.

Whatever Zepp was looking for it was near Becky's desk; because she made a defined beeline for her cubicle. And as always, Dean had to follow her.

Zepp stopped short of black dress shoes and black suit pants. Dean knew those thighs and he dreaded having to look up, but he did so anyway.

Castiel's face was that of complete surprise as he watched Dean and the dog with, well, shock. And Dean was enjoying every second of it.

"Um." Becky peered over the cubicle at Zepp and grinned, "hey girl!" She motioned for Zepp to come behind the cubicle wall and over to her.

Zepp looked back at Dean for permission; which Dean gave before she waddled her way around the cubicle to where Becky kept a stash of bacon flavored treats for Zepp. When Dean had asked her why she did this Becky had simply informed him that 'Girls have to stick together Dean, duh.' Ever since that day Dean let her give Zepp whatever her little heart wished since Zepp was _his dog._

Dean watched with a smile on his lips as Becky put the piece of treat bacon on Zepp's nose and told her to wait.

"Ok Zepp!" Becky called allowing Zepp to snap her head down and back up to catch the treat, her tail wagging all the while.

"Good girl." Dean grinned, he couldn't help it. With the way his relationship status was going (somewhere between no and where) his best outlet of compassion was Zepp, or any children that Jess and Sam popped out. Zepp allowed Becky to pet her until she got too overbearing and then she padded her way back over to Dean and Cas. She sniffled at Cas as she passed him but otherwise paid him no mind, sitting at Dean's feet.

"Intelligent dog." Castiel stated as he stared into Zepp's dark brown eyes and if she wasn't trained she would attack him on principal for that, but Dean didn't give her the 'go' so she didn't.

"Yeah, Zeppelin is a badass." Dean noted with pride as he reached down and ruffled her fur. "More intelligent than most of the people here." He commented under his breath, but Cas got the gist.

"I have to agree from what I've seen."

Dean was about to brag about this one time that she helped save his life but Bobby's booming voice caught him off guard. "Winchester!"

"Son of a bitch."

* * *

Dean sat in Bobby's office alone this time, Zepp had been left in Becky's care at the bidding of Bobby and it was the first time in awhile that Dean sat in there all alone. But it wasn't anything he couldn't deal with.

As soon as the office door closed behind him Bobby dropped the act and slouched. This was the Bobby he was used to, the one that wore flannel jackets and baseball caps on his days off. "Dean, ya okay?" He asked, sitting on his desk and watching the younger man with careful, father-like eyes.

Unlike John Winchester, Bobby Singer had actually spent the time to learn the boys' mannerisms. Dean was kind of regretting that now.

"Yeah, I'm fine Bobby." He answered with as much sureness as he could muster.

"I'm calling bullshit." Bobby said holding his hand up to Dean's rebuttal. "Boy I know you, you're never late unless something gets to ya real bad. Now what's going on?"

' _Oh you know, the average. It's been two years since my last serious relationship and when I opened up to her about my job and my possible enjoyment in the same sex she closed the door in my face. Oh did I mention how I have a serious hard on for my new partner? Oh but he has a serious gay relationship so he's off limits.'_ "Nothing really, just getting used to my new partner. That's all."

Bobby must have realized that he wasn't getting anywhere with this because he sighed and waved his hand around vaguely. "What ever happened with you and that Agent, ah?"

"Nick Munroe." Dean clarified, falling back into the seat as if that'd help him get away from this conversation. "And I ended it. Just wasn't good ya know?" Nick had been abusive to say the least, in more way than one. He had always tried to get with Sam when he was with Dean and that was all kinds of wrong. So Dean had ended it before anything really had started, save himself the trouble.

Bobby nodded slowly at that, seeming to read between the lines and sighed. "I'm sorry son. I don't know what to tell ya." Dean shrugged at that and stood up,

"Its ok Bobby, I wouldn't either." He paused and looked at Bobby, "I'm going to go and check up on Zepp, make sure she hasn't killed anyone yet."

"You go do that."

* * *

Dean walked out of Bobby's office and towards Becky's cubical space, his pace slowing as he hears the conversation that Cas was having with Becky.

"But why do you smoke Agent Novak? What's so great about it?" Becky's fingers were placed over her keyboard as she waited to type up something, probably whatever Castiel was about to tell her.

"Everything." Admitted Castiel shrugging.

"Specifics Novak!" She coaxed, her hands hovering over the keyboard.

Castiel sighed and leaned on the cubical wall as he pulled out his cigarette pack and stared down at it, as if he was trying to find the right words. "There's this smell a pack has when it's fresh, when you can smell the dried leaves. It smells like summer to me, reminds me of times when everything wasn't complicated." He smiled slightly to himself, losing his attention to everything around him as he continued. "It reminds me of my senior year of high school when all that mattered was when I was going to get my next pack and how much money I had for gas." He sighed and rubbed his head thoughtfully. "After you haven't had one in awhile you get this almost vertigo feeling and it scares you the first time but after awhile you aim for that feeling, because with that vertigo you get this overwhelming sense of relaxation. Like your body has turned into jello but your mind still sharp and you're ready for anything the world can throw at you." He popped the cigarette carton open with one finger and pulled out a cigarette with his thumb and index , rolling it around slowly. "There's nothing like that first drag. That feeling of your lungs welcoming the smoke in with a warm embrace of acceptance only to let it drag itself out your mouth a little while later. Like the kiss of a dying lover. No two drags are ever the same, same goes for the smoke."Castiel smiled to himself as he continued, "When you're on your last cigarette of a pack you feel this sweetness. Yeah It sucks that you've finished the pack but that cigarette seems to be the best, the easiest to finish and the one you want to savor the most." He placed the cigarette back into the pack, closed it and slipped it back into his pocket before looking over at Becky, his eyes not really in the same time. "There is nothing though, nothing like the weight of a newly opened pack in your pocket. To know that there is something there for you when you stress out, that no matter how hated or how aggravated you are, it has the exact reactions you need. No human can do that to a smoker, no human can hug and treat a smoker like a cigarette does. It's just fact."

Castiel breathed in a little and seemed to come back down to Earth before pointing towards Becky's screen. "You might want to add that smoking while having coffee is the best thing ever to exist on this planet as well."

Dean was shocked, not only was that the largest flux of words Castiel had ever spoken but it was also the most passionate Dean had ever seen Cas. It could only to be rivaled with his passion of angels and the passion Dean had dreamed up, but that was make-believe so he'd stick with the angels and cigarettes.

Clearing his throat Dean walked over to the group and leaned against the cubicle wall. "Miss me?" He teased with a large smile growing on his lips.

"Oh every day." Teased Becky, waving a hand at him as she continued to type up Castiel's proclamation of love. Dean simply hummed at that and snuck a peak at Castiel who seemed, all of a sudden, shy.

Dean, being good at ignoring things, cut through the silence, "Well I'm glad that Zepp hasn't ripped anyone's face off yet."

Becky whirled around and pointed at Dean, "It actually came close!"

Dean's head swiveled so fast to face Zepp that he was pretty sure he'd get whiplash for it later. "Who? For What?" Zepp was a guard dog and Dean liked to tease about her attacking people but she would never without ample reason to.

That's why it's such a surprise that it was Castiel that raised his hand, "Me, I tried to walk into Becky's station and she growled. I figured it was best not to push the issue. So I stayed here."

"Led Zeppelin." Dean started, his father voice coming out now. Zepp shied away from the reprimanding tone of Dean's voice, her head bowed. Getting down on one knee Dean patted the ground next to his knee. "Come on." Zepp got up slowly, trotted over to Dean before she sat down carefully, watching him and Cas the whole time. Probably forming a plan like the smart cookie she was. "Come here, Novak." Dean ordered and the angel nodded, joining him on the floor but adding some space between himself and the dog.

"Now." Dean said, pointing at Zepp's snout. "Zepp, this is Agent Castiel Novak, he's my new partner, okay?" He pointed at Castiel but kept his eyes on Zepp, his face scrunching up in seriousness, "When you're not around he's supposed to be watching my back while I watch his. So ripping off his face isn't an option. Got it?" Zepp looked to and from both agents before standing up silently and walking towards Castiel.

Cas stiffened slightly but held his palms up for her to sniff, which she did carefully, her eyes on his face. After searching his hands and arms she made her way to his suit jacket pocket and pulled at the pocket where the cigarettes were.

Oh shit that's right.

"No Zepp." Dean called as she continued to try and remove them, "I don't need them right now." Zepp looked over from Castiel's pocket to Dean at the same time that Cas did the same, surprise written all over his face while Zepp's was more filled with bitchiness. She nosed the pocket once more before snorting over Castiel and making her way back to Dean.

"Could have been a little nicer." He commented as he kissed her furry brow. She just let out a little yelp of annoyance and decided it was time to leave, making her way towards Dean's office.

Both men stood up and looked at each other for a moment, completely forgetting they were in the middle of their work office. "She's quite a character, Dean." Castiel ventured, his eyes searching Dean's while he stared right back.

"Yeah well, she learned that from the best." He joked, causing Castiel to crack a small smile, forcing Dean's eyes towards his lips. Dean guessed he wasn't the only one that didn't get the chance to shave last night or this morning judging by the dark stubble growing around Castiel's face.

Dean was completely content with staring at Castiel's mouth for the rest of the day but once again, Becky the cock-block started to type away furiously on her computer, giggling all the while. Dean didn't trust the women he put closest to him, Becky and Zepp were prime examples; they were schemers.

"I don't trust that laugh." Dean admitted, turning his head towards Becky to see what she was so gung ho about. But Becky, being Becky, X-ed out of whatever document she was typing in and turned her screen off. "Nothing Winchester!" She sang out happily as she swiveled her chair around to him.

"Rosen." Dean warned.

"Winchester." She replied with the most serious look she could muster even with her upturned lip giving away her glee. They stared at each other for a moment, little sister versus elder brother before Dean looked away in defeat.

"Fine." He sighed, waving his hand in her direction. Becky let out a little hoot of victory before looking back to Dean and Cas.

"As much as I love you guys idling around my desk I'm kinda busy right now so shoo!" She waved her hands towards their office and gave them a harmless glare. "Now!"

"Wow, love you too Rosen." Dean grumbled out as he turned towards the office he shares with Castiel. There was a grumbled response as she turned her computer screen back on and went back to work on whatever she was writing.

Dean would sneak up on that later and figure out what the hell it was later.

* * *

Hanging out around the office was a lot more... domestic than it had ever been with his old partner. There wasn't any hand holding or braiding hair but it was peaceful, calm. When Dean would get something from the snack machine he'd come back with some cookies for Cas or when Cas went and got some coffee he'd bring another cup for Dean. They continued like that for about three hours before Cas spoke up for the first time in awhile, and when he did, it wasn't pleasant.

"Dean..." He started, looking over from his computer towards Dean who at that time had been writing more of his report of the attack the day before hand. It reminded him that there was a fax waiting at home for him.

"Yeah Novak?" Dean was trying to stay away from saying 'Cas' and Castiel seemed so much more formal than Novak so...

"You are not uncomfortable with my sexual preferences, correct?"

Dean choked on his coffee. "What?" He spluttered trying to recover from his indecent choking.

"Are you comfortable with the fact I prefer the male gender over that of a females?"

Dean was not ready for this, and he realized this must have been what it was like for Sam when Dean told him he had a boyfriend. He'd have to apologize for that later.

"Dude!" Dean started moving his hand vaguely, "I don't care." He had no idea how to go about this in all reality. "I'm a on five the Kinsey scale myself so I really don't care." Well, he didn't intend to admit his sexuality like that but all well. Shit happens.

"I see." Was all Castiel said as he stared at Dean; dissecting him with his eyes and god was that uncomfortable. Dean shifted in his seat and was about to say something when his phone buzzed. Picking the phone off of his desk he read the name and quickly brought it to his ear, "Hey Sammy."

Saved by the brother.

"Dean, hey!" Sam sounded relieved to hear Dean's voice and that made Dean smile, it was good not to be the only one dependant on their sibling.

"What's up squirt?" Dean teased, earning him a bitch face over the phone. "I'm taller than you Dean." Sam tried to reason. Dean just grinned before fighting back, "And I'm older. So?" Dean was enjoying this a little too much. There was a sigh from across the phone and Dean knew it was serious time. "Seriously Sam, whats up?"

Dean ignored the concerned looks that he kept getting from Cas and opted to stare at Zepp who was staring up at him from under his desk.

"The UPS guy is back." Sam whined into the phone, earning him a good laugh from Dean.

"Oh no Sammy!" Dean grinned, trying to control himself, "What are you ever going to do?"

"Shut up Dean!" Was all that Sam had to say for Dean to start laughing like a mad hatter once again.

"No, no Sammy. Why don't you stop freaking buying things that involve UPS? Maybe you secretly love his addictions to sweets and your hair!" He couldn't help himself, this was just too rich.

Sam let Dean calm down so that his laughing was at a dull roar before continuing, "It's a good thing you find this so amusing Dean. Because he's coming over to you now."

Wait what? "What?" Dean's voice cracking ever so slightly.

"The package he had was for a D. Winchester. But he delivered it to me by mistake."

"Bullshit Sam!" Dean tried to not check over at the door, he had never met this UPS guy but he knew the signs. A light brown haired man who likes to dance and be over dramatic, also someone who had an abominable taste for sweets.

"Nope." It was Sam's turn to sound smug. "It was sent by the CIA. How they messed up the address I will never know."

"God dammit Sammy I don't want him knowing where I work!"

"Too late! Have fun with the bastard!" Sam almost sang over the phone before hanging up. Dean leaned on his desk and let out a low groan. He was not prepared for this.

"Is everything alright Dean?" Castiel's voice broke through his thoughts like a bomb and Dean's head shot up. "What? Oh yeah." He sighed, rubbing his face, "My brother just sent his tormentor over here for shits and giggles."

"I see." Cas said as he stood up and started for the door. "I was going to get more coffee. Would you like some?" This was actually the first time that Cas had actually asked Dean if he'd like some, but then again it was about three in the afternoon so it was understandable.

"Yeah thanks Castiel." He smiled slightly as he watched the other agent leave. After he left Dean turned his attention to the paperwork he was halfway through and found himself way too distracted by Castiel's side of the room.

This was the first time that Dean had actually had a good look over at the other agent's desk and now he couldn't help but notice how freaking OCD it was. The pens weren't in a straight line so maybe it wasn't that bad but everything was put away properly and was evenly distributed. Looking at Castiel's desk and back to his own he realized that he was kinda sloppy, or at least not as clean as Cas. Something he'd have to get used to.

There was a rapping at his office door that pulled him out of his revelations just in time to see a honey haired man almost dance in holding a thin package. "Dean Winchester?" He asked in a sing song voice, a candy bar sticking out of his pocket as proof that this was indeed 'The UPS man'. Dean sighed and nodded, this package better be worth it.

"Yeah that's me." He clarified as he stood and walked over to the man, Zepp at his heels.

"Good!" He grinned, holding out a little machine for Dean to sign, "And here I thought Gigantor was just trying to get me out of his hair." He mused as he watched Dean sign the machine.

"Nah, he wouldn't be that mean." Dean sighed grabbing the packaged the man held out. "Thanks." Dean raised the package up to indicate what he meant.

The man laughed and shook his head, "No problem Deano." He mused, "Got any candy 'round here?" Dean was about to tell the man to leave when the office door opened and Castiel walked in, his head down to watch the coffees to make sure they didn't topple.

"Dean, the machine was acting up so I am not sure of the quality of-" He almost dropped the coffee cups when he looked up. "Gabriel?" He breathed, his bright blues the size of freaking Pluto.

"Whoa, whoa you guys know each other?" For some odd reason Dean just couldn't believe it, there was no way the world was this small.

Instead of the reaction of a normal person 'Gabriel's' head whipped around to look at Dean. "This is the 'Dean', Cassie? Huh."

Cas ignored the comment in favor of answering Dean's question, "You can say that he's my-"

"I'm his older brother, Deano." Gabriel interjected. "Gabriel Novak at your service." He bowed with a dramatic sweep of his arms before grabbing the candy bar from his pocket and taking a bite. "And you," Gabriel pointed to Dean with the bitten side of his snickers. "Better be a good partner, or I'll come after you myself." He warned, his voice a sing-song with an underlying warning.

Dean couldn't help but challenge him, "Or you'll what?" He smirked placing the package on his desk, Zepp's ears folding back against her head as a warning of it's own. "Ship me to China?"

Gabriel's hazel eyes seemed to laugh at that and he turned to look at the flustered Cas, "I like him, a lot funnier than Junkless." Gabriel took another bite of his candy bar as he turned back to Dean and smiled, "It'd be something like that." He smiled again, heading over to Castiel's desk and plopping himself in the chair before whirling around.

"Gabriel," Dean could tell that Castiel was somewhere between annoyance and embarrassment. "Please refrain from doing that. You might break something." Cas headed over to Dean's desk and placed the coffee cups down. Dean couldn't help but notice that Castiel's hands were shaking ever so slightly. Damn, either his brother was really scary to Cas or he was really nervous.

"Oh relax bro, I'm not going to break anything, just looking around your new pad that's all." Of course, as Gabriel said this he leaned over the desk and pushed the pen holder over so the pens spilled everywhere.

Was Cas sure he was his older brother?

"Gabe please!" Cas went over to his desk and picked up the pens before placing them in the cup holder and setting the holder on the floor and out of Gabriel's reach. "I don't need you getting me into trouble!"

Dean was a little taken aback how small Cas sounded when addressing his brother, okay, maybe Gabriel was the older brother.

Gabriel sighed dramatically and looked at Castiel's computer, moving a finger on the keyboard to wake it up from its slumber. "Cassie, is your password still 'Matthew 13:49'? Because in all honesty it's getting kind of lame." Gabriel typed in the believed password and grinned as the speakers let out the little 'ding' to inform him he was logging on. "Tsk, tsk, tsk Cassie. You need to come up with better protection." Gabriel snorted and smiled to himself, apparently finding something else funny. "I mean just because you're gay-"

Whatever he was going to say died on his lips when he saw Castiel's face, his eyes losing their teasing air and being replaced with softness. "I'm sorry Cassie." He stood up and placed a hand on the younger's shoulder.

Part of Dean really wanted to know what about Castiel's face had changed Gabriel's overall disposition from one of malice to one of concern and the other half was pretty damn sure that he never _ever_  wanted to see that look.

"Look," Started Gabriel looking up into his younger brother's eyes, because Gabriel happened to be shorter than Cas, "How about you come over this weekend to my place? Pamela is making some mean pot roast."

Even though Dean couldn't see Castiel's face he could read the man's body language and he could visibly see the other man's shoulders straighten. "I have other plans." He turned his head to look at Dean, his eyes locking with Dean's begging him to play along. "I'm going to a barbecue."

Dean, understanding his cue nodded at this, "Yeah, planned it yesterday and told a couple people he was coming so he can't back down now."

Castiel sent Dean the most grateful look he had ever received in his entire existence and for some odd reason it broke Dean's heart.

Gabriel looked to and from the two new partners before the softness was replaced with an all knowing smirk. "'Right. Well you two have fun than." He let go of Castiel and started towards the door. As soon as he was halfway out the door he turned to the pair and sang out, "Don't do anything I wouldn't Cassie!" Before slamming the door behind him.

The very moment the door closed Castiel stumbled and slumped against his desk. Dean knew what panic attacks looked like and this looked like the startings of one. "Whoa!" Dean started, going over to Cas and grabbing the sides of his face so that the other man's eyes would stay on Dean's. "Breathe Cas, just breathe."

That was a mistake, while the eye locking seemed to work with calming Cas down, Dean couldn't help but notice how freaking warm and dry Castiel's skin was. How his stubble felt against the calluses sprinkled all over Dean's hands. How the other man relaxed right away under his touch and god damnit, he had a boyfriend and Dean was touching him like this and it wasn't good and fuck Dean was about to do something really stupid and-

Zepp barked.

Thank god for good old Zeppelin.

Dean's hands dropped from Castiel's face and he turned away to see Zepp by his desk giving him the best bitch face she had learned from Sam. Smiling slightly to himself he turned back to see Castiel leaning over to pick up the container of pens and place them back on the desk. And god, Dean was going to hell or checking out his partner's perfect ass right after he had a near panic attack.

Dean, deciding it'd be best for his mental well being, moved farther away from Cas to give him some personal space. Cas straightened himself after fixing his desk to the proper way he liked it and looked over to the office window longingly. Dean, having a past with smokers and smoking knew exactly what that look was for.

Without Cas having to ask, Dean went over to the office door and locked it. Than walking over to the window he unlocked the security hatches and pulled the screen down, setting it by his own desk. "Go ahead." He grumbled as he went back to his own desk and sat down.

"Thank you Dean." Cas mumbled, his voice so grateful it made Dean's heart sink. After a pause to look at Dean, Castiel made a beeline for his jacket that hung up behind his desk and jamming his hand into the pocket, he grabbed his pack. Quickly pulling it out of his jacket Cas stalked over to the window, sitting down on the windowsill carefully to balance himself on the edge.

Taking a bic lighter out of his pocket Cas lit his cigarette, taking a large drag before resting his head against the side of the window, letting the smoke swirl around his head. For the second time Dean wished he had his camera, he really needed to start bringing it to work.

Turning his attention back to the package he realized that the name on the return address was Charlie Bradbury of the Central Intelligence Agency. Dean, knowing that this was all of Castiel's past, shoved the package into his laptop bag, saving it for later.

Now with no other way to distract himself he turned his attention back to Castiel. His breathing seemed to be normal, and the vein that had popped out more by his adam's apple was nearly gone. With his face was turned towards the outside world, he seemed lost to the little ecosystem of the office they both inhabited. Dean ran over the conversation that Gabriel and Castiel had and realizing that he had some questions, decided that this was as good of a time as any.

"Hey Novak." Castiel turned his head towards Dean, blue striking against green. "What's Matthew 13:49?"

"It's a passage from the Bible." Castiel replied unhelpfully, his eyes out the window as he took another drag.

"No shit," Dean had a feeling Cas would say something like that. "I knew that much."

What Dean didn't expect was for Castiel to give him a sideways glance before letting out a small chuckle and shaking his head. "It's my favorite verse." He started, looking out the window once again, taking another drag of his cigarette, the smoke escaping out as he spoke next. "'So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just.'" He looked down at his cigarette as he twirled it between his fingers. "Out of all the passages about angels I find that the most accurate depiction of what I believe angels are capable of."

Dean nodded slowly, taking Castiel’s explanation in. After a pause Dean looked over at the other agent and finally spoke, “You really believe that there are such stark differences between humans like that?”

This took Castiel by surprise, making him blink and earning Dean a look of consideration. His brow furrowed as he looked at Dean, making him look like a confused bird. Which was adorable, by the way.

"I believe you are the first person to ever doubt my reasons but instead of demeaning me you ask me that." He pointed out as his eyes locked on Dean's, "I also believe that all humans have souls." He looked out over the concrete buildings and streets as tiny little ant people passed under him, unaware of the man with an angel name smoking above them. He continues, "Some souls are whole with good. People who have done the best they can with what they have. Some souls, I believe, are righteous but some are dark, bottomless things, filled with hate and evil." Castiel snorted and shook his head, "I know it sounds like I'm a 'holy roller' for saying that but it's what I believe." Castiel had honest to god just air quoted 'holy roller' and Dean wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or hug Cas for that one so instead he just stood there, a dumb smile on his face.

"I think..." Dean started, pausing slightly when Castiel turned his gaze back to Dean, "you don't have to be religious to believe that." Castiel sent Dean the second most graceful smile of the day before putting out his cigarette and dropping the butt onto the windowsill.

* * *

The rest of the day went on uneventfully and both agents were free at five that night. Both packed up at the same time, sitting around the office for ten minutes until it was officially five. Starting towards the door, Zepp followed Dean happily, knowing it was a sunny day so that meant going to the park right afterwards.

As they started towards Becky's desk and they noticed she didn't even acknowledge them, choosing to message someone online and giggle madly as she blasted whatever 'feels music' she was listening to through her headphones. Dean and Cas did their best to ignore how disconcerting it was as they passed but they still shared a look of distrust. It was funny to Dean how they could have whole conversations without having to say a word.

When they finally made it to the stairs Dean held the door for Cas and Zepp, watching them pass side by side in complete comfort. Dean couldn't help but smile at that since it usually took Zepp forever to get used to Dean's newer friends.

Friends.

When did that happen?

First it was Cas, than it was friends? No they couldn't be, but it felt like it. The man already saved his life and Dean had spilt his guts about things no acquaintance should know. Dean shook his head slightly and followed the two down the stairs to the parking garage. But as Dean started towards Baby he noticed Cas walking towards the exit and was he walking home? Well... damn it all to hell, "Hey Castiel!" He called, stopping the other man in his tracks to turn around.

"Yes Dean?" Cas inquired, his voice calm but curious at the sudden conversation.

Dean breathed in and smiled at Cas in his most convincingly confidant smile. "Want to come to the park with me and Zepp?"

Cas tilted his head like he often did when confused and frowned, "Why?"

Ow, well that was blunt.

Dean cringed slightly at that and shrugged, "Zepp's never this nice to people when she first meets them so i figured it'd be a good way for her to trust you even more." He paused to watch Castiel's brow furrow before continuing, "And plus, I'll drive you home."

Dean waited for the dismissal Castiel was sure to give him but instead Cas gave a short nod and walked over to Dean. "Alright, I don't have much to do at any rate." Dean couldn't help the grin that was spreading all over his face like some infectious disease as they started towards his car.

It took awhile to figure out the seating arrangements due to Zepp's preference to sit shotgun and Castiel's hesitancy whether or not to even get into the car on that side since she kept eying him whenever he got too close to her door. So, deciding it'd be for the best Cas climbed into the back seat behind Dean with a little huff of annoyance and grumbling something along the lines of 'disposition of a cat'.

Smiling to himself Dean placed his laptop case in the seat next to Cas before he brought Baby to life and left the parking lot, heading towards Franklin Park, which Dean guessed was near where Castiel lived.

This seemed to surprise Castiel, telling from the looks he kept shooting in Dean's direction from the rear-view mirror but Dean did his best to act like he didn't see them as he parked in the appropriate spot.

After about five minutes of trying to coax Zepp to let Dean put a leash on her they finally stepped out of the car and started towards the bright green grass, ball in hand.

Dean thought it was a little stupid that he had to put a leash on Zepp, she wouldn't go after anyone and he'd take it off of her as soon as they were safe away from others but still, rules were rules.

At first Castiel kept a distance between him and Dean, trailing behind owner and dog like a little lost puppy who wasn't sure if these people could be trusted. But as soon as they got closer to the more secluded areas of the park and Dean let Zepp off the leash Cas was standing next to him, pushing the boundaries of personal space as he normally did. They finally made it to a reasonably sized field and both men stopped as if they were working off the same wave length.

Dean bounced the ball in his hand to tease Zepp, earning him a little bark of excitement as her tail started to go. Grinning to himself Dean chucked the ball a good couple feet and watched as Zepp tore after the it at top speeds. Chuckling to himself Dean stripped his jacket and tie off, throwing it on a bench near him and Cas. Looking over Dean realized that Cas was stripping his professional wear as well, but instead of tossing it like Dean, Cas folded his  clothing before placing it down.

"Little OCD, Castiel?" Dean teased, smirking at the other agent, not expecting the blush that tickled Castiel's face and gave him this innocent and gentle look.

Well shit.

"Just because I like things in order does not mean I have OCD." He clarified, looking over the field as Zepp barreled back towards them. Dean snorted and grabbed the ball from the ground where Zepp dropped it before throwing it again and turning towards Castiel.

"Seriously man, I think 'in order' is in the actual definition." Dean was pretty sure Cas would be pissed at him if a teasing smile wasn't playing on Dean's lips as he said that.

"At least I have some order, unlike certain other agents." Castiel mused, watching as Zepp paused to sniff at a tree; trying to hide a smile playing on his own lips.

"I don't know anyone like that." Dean grinned, his voice easy and teasing as he nudged his partner, gaining an all knowing smirk from Cas.

A low chuckle pulls itself from Castiel's chest, "Oh i can think of _someone_  in particular." And holy hell if that sentence wasn't one of the hottest- Wait, were they flirting right now? Dean felt his body heat up and, shit, he needed to think of something.

Dog shit Dean, lots and lots of dog shit. Everywhere.

That seemed to help but to keep his mind as far away from Castiel and his glorious voice and muscled arms he reached down and clapped for Zepp to come over to him.

Jerking her head towards Dean, Zepp started over, dropping the ball at his feet when she returned. Dean ruffled her furry head before handing the slobber-ridden ball over to Castiel. Cas didn't seem to mind though, instead he raised one eyebrow and bounced the ball in his hand just like Dean had before.

Zepp, much to her credit seemed to take the switch of playmate rather well, leaning her body forward with her butt out to express her excitement in Castiel's involvement.

Welp, not to be awkward but Dean knew that if the 'kid' liked Castiel he'd have to keep him as a partner, no matter if he wanted to ride him against any hard surface.

* * *

They spent a good 15 minutes like this, just throwing the ball to Zepp like normal, formally polite friends before things started to actually get interesting. It was Zepp's instigating, of course, that it happened.

Zepp had trotted over and decided she was going to be a pain in Dean's ass by not letting go of the ball. So, Dean being Dean, grabbed the ball, pulling it from her mouth, or trying to at least. However Zepp had other plans and one way or another Dean somehow ended up play fighting her on all fours, making a complete fool of himself but not even caring. Rolling around with his pup, they wrestled playfully.

Upon hearing Castiel's low laugh Dean turned  to see the man taking off his white button-down so that he was only in a white t-shirt and god dammit Dean, dead puppies _on_ dog shit. Castiel folded the shirt and placed it on the bench with his other things. Cas didn't stop there, oh no, god wasn't that kind to Dean. Next thing he knew Castiel was kneeling beside him, ruffling Zepp's hindquarters to distract her from biting Dean's fingers.

Zepp, brought her attention to Cas now and right away gave him all of her attention, jumping on top of him and attacking his face with slobbery kisses and pawing slightly at his chest to get him to rough house with her.

Despite what Dean thought of his partner, Castiel took to rough housing with Zepp like a duck to water, ruffling her hair and nipping his fingers at her tail to make her turn around in circles, laughing all the while. Dean had to take a moment to lean back on his heels, watching the two play with each other. It was odd and slightly alarming how well Castiel worked with Zepp, despite her first interaction with him. The warmth that filled Dean worried him, so doing as Dean did best, he ignored this feeling for the much better thought train of Castiel's arms.

Due to the rough housing Cas had ended up getting grass stains all over the back of his shirt and on the revealed skin of his elbows. The stains would eventually come out but right now they only seemed to help by defining exactly where the contours of Castiel's back were under his shirt. Dean couldn't help but stare as the muscles of Castiel's arms as they worked to keep Zepp entertained and drain her of all her energy. He was close enough to Cas to see the small beads of sweat and-

Zepp turned to attention to Dean and tackled him to the ground, pawing at him like she did with Cas but this time Dean was still wearing his white button down. He'd have to deal with the hell stains he was going to get from this but all well.

At least Zepp distracted him for the crazy train of his brain.

* * *

Soon after that things seemed to calm down, Zepp ended up just laying her 65 pounds of muscle on Dean's chest as she stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth and stared back and forth between the two men. Groaning slightly Dean rested his head in the grass and closed his eyes. His calming heartbeat against that of Zepp's, which was racing from all the fun she had had with Cas.

Cas.

Dean opened his eyes and turned his head to witness the other man leaning back on his elbows, staring at the sky with his chest heaving. Dean didn't often throw words like this around but to say that Agent Castiel Novak was beautiful was a gross understatement. Dean could write sonnets on the pure angelic features of his partner. How when he leaned his head back like this it exposed his neck perfectly and Dean could see the small pulse beating as Cas calmed himself down, how the stubble that peppered his skin had spots of dirt speckled throughout it, how his skin seemed to glow slightly in the warm late summer's rays. How, Dean's favorite part wasn't his body, but how Castiel had this overwhelming air of stability and 'the calm inside of the storm' feel to him that just relaxed Dean.

He could write sonnets about it, but he was too much of a man.

Dean was about to turn away when his eyes clashed with the stark blue of Castiel's and he just couldn't pull himself away from them, even though he was caught. The smile that had been dancing at the corners of Castiel's face turned into a frown at that and he shifted his weight, suddenly uncomfortable and Dean knew why.

Glen freaking Washington, that's why.

Dean wasn't normally a jealous person, he was never really allowed to be growing up, so the twist in the gut and the clench in his heart informed him that even at the age of 29 he could experience his first real pangs of jealousy. Great Winchester, great.

"I should get going." Castiel broke through Dean's silent freak out with his declaration.

Dean nodded, "Ya need a ride?" After all, he had told Cas he'd drive him home after all. But Castiel shook his head, "No thank you Dean, I am a few blocks walk from here." He smiled slightly before walking over and grabbing his clothing, he turned to Dean and Zepp and seemed to be stuck at some crossroads, unsure of where to turn and what to choose.

The path was picked for him however when Zepp whined for his attention and lowered her head slowly. Castiel let out a small smile at that and walked over before leaning over and rubbing her head softly. "See you next time Zeppelin." He mumbled to just her but Dean heard it anyway.

Dean kept his eyes trained on Castiel's face, the little glint in Castiel's eyes telling Dean that he wasn't lying, that he really did plan on seeing her again. When did Dean become an expert in Castiel 101? He had no idea, but he kinda liked it.

Castiel straightened than and turned to look at Dean and nod, "Thank you for asking me to join you and Zeppelin, it was..." He searched for the words, "Pleasant." He gave another smile towards Dean before walking away.

Dean watched Castiel's dirty back as he slowly disappeared into the setting light of the park. It was too late when Dean remembered he wanted to ask Castiel if he was serious about coming over that weekend to Sam's, he made a mental note to ask him the next day before he pushed Zepp off his chest and crawled up. He wiped as much of the dirt and grass he could before whistling for Zepp to follow him back to the car. Once again, a lonely night with just a man and his dog.

* * *

Dean got home and the first thing he did was take a shower, he hadn't for awhile and god he felt like he was really due for one. While in the shower Dean discovered several things, one he had a lot of shit to read, two he hadn't eaten in about 26 hours, and three there was this bone deep ache in his heart which he tried to ignore the best he could.

Ten minutes later Dean jumped out of the shower, threw his dirty clothing into the hamper and puttered around feeding Zepp and cleaning up his place a little bit. Going over into the corner of his kitchen where his fax machine was he picked up the report that had been hanging out there for a day and brought it into his bedroom along with his laptop and Charlie Bradbury's report of Agent Castiel Novak.

Before getting comfortable however, he went into the kitchen to make a sandwich and grab himself a beer, trying to quench the need to smell cigarettes or possibly even taste one. It wasn't because he was an addict, it's just, it's always been the smell of home and if he subconsciously felt more comfortable around Castiel because of it, he'd take it to his grave.

Dean sat cross legged on his bed munching on his dinner while wondering which to read first. It took about five seconds for Dean to make the very mature decision to pick the smallest one; because that's what adults did. Obviously.

The smallest packet turned out to be Castiel's report. Taking a big bite of his sandwich he picked it up, skimming through the pages... because he was too tired to actually read it word for word.

As it turned out, the first three pages were exactly like Dean's, their times, what they did, everything was exactly the same until it got to the time that they slept. Dean had thought he had had trouble with sleeping, but as it turns out Castiel doesn't get much sleep. The five hours that Dean got was only two for Cas as apparently he kept waking up with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

At around the time that Dean was knocked out Castiel was at his computer when the hotel door had opened. As the report read Cas had been fast enough to take down the silent attacker without much problem. That was, of course, until he had neared the body. Another man had come up behind him and had knocked the gun out of Castiel's hand. Castiel described hand to hand combat like it was a freaking playbook. Assailant attacks with right hook, parried attack, left kick to assailant's knee, knee to nose, breaks nose, assailant falls on floor, put them into choke hold until incapacitated.

Castiel gave a brief description of looking for Dean and finding his room empty, realizing that since Dean was the one asking the majority of the questions he'd be viewed as more of an asset to take down. Castiel noted how he didn't take the Impala due to 'the incapability of finding Agent Winchester's car keys'. Dean thought that was odd, he had left the keys in his jacket pocket. It was a common spot.

Maybe Castiel hadn't been thinking straight due to his sleep depravation. But... Cas had taken that Nissan without a second doubt but didn't even bother looking for the keys to the impala? Was Dean's love for that car so strong that Cas would rather hotwire someone else's car instead of deal with Dean's wrath?

Castiel wrote how the owner of a Nissan allowed him to borrow her car, Dean doubted it, and how it went to the cult. He wrote how he parked farther away and when he came closer to the cult he noticed that on the road there were explosive cherry bombs placed over the dirt.

Dean couldn't help but thank his lucky stars for Castiel being his new partner. If he had anyone else, they would have taken the impala, and they probably would have driven right up to the barn, destroying his baby and themselves in the process. Taking a sip of his beer Dean continued to read the rest of the report.

Cas had run into five others on his trip to the barn, three of them went down without even knowing Castiel was there, the other two were the ones that sounded the alarm. The smaller of the assailants had been much like Castiel in fighting style apparently since Cas depicted the fight as equally matched in talent and a 'dance of wits'.

"Whoa, we got a writer here." Dean mused to himself lowly, making Zepp look up towards him from her corner of the bed. Dean smiled brightly towards his puppy, "You'd find it funny if you could read." Giving him an unamused bitch - face Zepp placed her head back down.

Taking a bite of his sandwich Dean begins to read again. Apparently it didn't take Cas too long to get the man into a choke hold, knocking him out after a little bit of a scuffle.

After the smaller man was knocked unconscious the most interesting interaction for Dean was the man with the bat. Aparently, Lisa's cult had sent their tank after Castiel because the creature Castiel described sounded like an inbred. He weighed in around 230 pounds of muscle and beer belly, his at the height near or even exactly 6'5" with a shaved head and beady eyes.

As Dean read the fight it became apparent that Castiel wasn't going to walk away from this fight without some injuries. This man was a brawler with a bat and in an attempt to level the playing field Castiel had slid behind the man. His efforts were in vain as the behemoth had responded with a hard blow to Castiel's side.

Castiel took a pausing in his writing to say he later checked himself over and only had a few bruised ribs, nothing like what it could have been.

When Castiel had fallen to the ground the giant made the mistake of leaning on his bat to get a good look at Cas. Cas, not having anytime for recovery had twisted the bat out of the man's hands. Now that Castiel was the one in charge of the bat he took the man down with a hit behind the knees Castiel brought him down to his knees. He stated very shortly that the cult member was knocked out with a hard blow to the head, which if Dean remembered right, might have been the loud bang he heard from outside the barn.

Castiel described how he had watched the man slip into unconsciousness before hearing the barn doors opening behind him. Turning to see Lisa Braeden coming out of the barn, Cas deduced that she was the cultist leader.... due to Dean's loud and noticeable cursings from inside the wooden structure.  

Dean blushed, actually blushed, when he read that. Thank god the only one to notice was Zepp, as her eyes occasionally glanced over at Dean and his sandwich. Clearing his throat Dean decided that he'd try to control his language more on the job, you know, so he felt a tiny bit more professional and not like the fool he was.

Officer Braeden had apparently taken one look at Castiel and the unconscious assailant before deciding that it was best to at least kill Dean. So she had run back into the barn, leaving Castiel behind. Castiel wrote that the only reason he hadn't caught up to her before hand was the fact that the pain in his ribs had settled in.

Knowing what was coming next Dean sat up straighter to read, wanting to know Castiel's side of his rescue. But as he read, Dean realized that this was professional work and to get anything out of it on a personal level wasn't going to happen. But he still hoped.

Castiel described how he had tried this entire time not to kill a single cultist since they were all humans, but when he had entered the barn there had been no intention of letting Lisa leave unless she was in cuffs or in a body bag. When Castiel walked in and witnessed Lisa about to attack Dean with the knife it had been an automatic reaction to raise the gun and shoot her without a doubt. His partner was in trouble and that was the cold hard facts.

Castiel's description of Dean was pretty basic about everything except his wounds, judging by the details of all the wounds Dean was pretty sure Cas had taken some medical classes or was wounded so often he could tell them off the bat. If Dean thought Castiel wasn't going to mention the barely dressed he was kidding himself. It wasn't too bad however, only a short sentence placed randomly within the writing.

Dean skimmed the rest of the report and upon realizing that the rest of the Castiel's play-by-play was pretty much like Dean's he stopped bothering to really read it. Reading to learn things was always Sammy's jig while Dean was a hands on learner.

Taking the case and shuffling the papers until they all matched again Dean placed the stack into his dresser drawer. There was no real reason to keep it but he did anyway. Think of it as their first case together, maybe they'd look back and laugh...Dean took a moment to finish his sandwich and down a good portion of his beer before eying the large manila envelope that contained Charlie Bradbury's review.

With a quick look at the clock Dean realized that it was only nine now and that he could probably finish this by eleven if he really tried. So, letting out a sigh he moved the plate from his sandwich onto the nightstand next to his bed before stretching, disturbing Zepp from her slumber in the process. Settling down once again Dean pushes the little tags together, flipping open the folder before sliding out the report.

Charlie Bradbury, whomever she was, must be used to hanging out reports like this because it had a freaking cover letter.

 

_Agent Dean Winchester,_

_I am writing this because a good friend of mine, Agent Becky Rosen, has  informed me that you have inquired about old colleague and my personal friend Agent Castiel Novak and that you wish to learn more about him as a person. This letter will contain certain aspects of Agent Novak's personal history along with that of his professional history. None of this is to be taken lightly or as a joke. Castiel Novak's life is hard enough without some stubborn FBI agent making it more difficult. Everything that is about to be mentioned and learned shall be kept a secret and I believe personally that you should inform Castiel yourself  that you have indeed asked for this information because to keep secrets from a new partner is never a good decision, Agent Winchester._

_Please regard everything as top secret_ _,_

_Agent Charlie F. Bradbury_

 

_'Well shit',_ Dean thought now staring at the cover letter with uncertainty. If she wanted him to tell Castiel about this whole thing maybe it wasn't worth it, Cas would sure as hell be mad about that fact. Dean was intruding into his life like no normal partner would. However, the curiosity of learning about Castiel's life was too overpowering and placing the letter aside he started in on the first page.

_Agent Castiel Novak was born on September 18, 1977 in Pontiac, Illinois. He is the second youngest, with older siblings of Gabriel and Aneal (Anna) Novak and the younger brother Samandriel. His father left soon after Samandriel's birth as his wife died giving birth. Taken in by his Uncle Raphael Novak he attended Pontiac Township High School (PTHS) with his other siblings as well as cousins Micheal and Lucifer (or Luke). He and his siblings were the odd balls of the family, aside from the estranged uncle Blathazar. As it came about Castiel Novak would be alienated from his family at the age of 15 when he came home with his first boyfriend. Kicked out at that age he moved in with Blathazar and continued his studies at PTHS._

_Upon graduation Castiel Novak took a semester in creative writing before joining his two eldest siblings in the CIA (a family tradition). An agent by the age of 21 the Novak's special force team consisted of Blathazar Novak, Hester McAdams, Inias Ryans, Gabriel Novak and Anna Novak. Agent Castiel Novak's partner at the time was Rachel Valo._

_By the age of 23 Novak was considered one of the best agents, aside from his brother, Agent Gabriel Novak. Who was the best snap decision maker in the unit, however when their superior, Agent Zachariah Fuller informed Castiel that his sexual habits would get him no where in life but a bed ridden with STDs and a young death, Gabriel Novak attacked the man, near killing him._

_Gabriel Novak was discharged from the CIA dishonorably and without pay. Castiel and I are both fully aware of his new jobs, a UPS delivery man along with some undesirable side jobs. From that day on Agent Fuller tried anything in the book to get Agent Novak dishonorably discharged from the CIA. However, nine months ago on a mission in Syria Agent Novak and Agent Valo were captured and tortured as insurgents. In the process of torture Agent Rachel Valo died due to a bad call by Agent Novak._

_As a friend of Castiel's I know this destroyed him mentally, after weeks of physical and mental therapy Agent Castiel Novak was honorably discharged three months ago of his own choice. However, Anna and I have personally tried to get Castiel back into some government job. After some research we realized that a position of partner had opened up in the FBI bureau. After some convincing Castiel Novak joined your ranks._

Dean leaned back, taking in this information. He knew this was a broad spectrum of Castiel's life and Dean already knew Castiel was a little bit of a rebel in High School but this was a lot of dirt, it almost made him sick.

Rubbing his face and turning towards the clock next to his bed he read the time as 9:30. Sweet, maybe he could even get to bed before eleven.Flipping the paper over Dean got to another long page. Fluffing the pillows slightly he got more comfortable before hunkering down and starting the next bit.

The previous page was a simple outline of Castiel's life as _I believe it is his own decision on what to tell you and what not to. Plus, He has yet to tell me everything since I never have pushed the issue. This segment will be all on his personality as that doesn't seem intrusive._

_Castiel, as you have probably noticed is a little special. He's got this problem with feelings. You see, he has too much heart, it's always been a problem for him. To deal with this he often seems a lot more colder, so not to let people take advantage of him, or to not allow people into his heart. I doubt that I've even made it there, I know for a fact that his siblings, and Balthazar are the only ones that are truly there. I'm pretty sure his boyfriend is finally worming his way in there but I'm still unsure about that._

_Cassie, has a really odd sense of humor, oh yeah I know it's a shock, but he does. It's really dry, like really, really dry. So you have to get used to it. But he has this thing he does, when he thinks no one will get it, he quotes books. A lot. Don't get me started on how many times he's quoted Harry Potter to me when I'm feeling down. I stopped counting after 42._

_You've probably noticed that whenever he's confused he does this little head tilt, he doesn't know but I've dubbed it the 'curious bird'. It's really cute, if you haven't seen it already I highly suggest making a movie quote. Oh, he hasn't watched the majority of classics by the way, I mean he hasn't watched any of the Star Wars, I know it's a tragedy. I think he watched half of the first movie of Lord of The Rings but I can't be sure. I know I wanted him to go with me to see The Hobbit but... he was still getting over what happened in Syria so I didn't push the issue. He has a soft spot for romance movies by the way, it's funny. He's watched and read Fight Club more times than I can count but Titanic still gets him every time. Or, that's what Anna told me over coffee once._

_What else to tell you about his personality..._

_Well shit, might as well, he remembers everything. I mean everything, he once had some of my coffee and asked how I made it since it was nice and I told him. About eleven months after that I was sick at work and didn't have the chance to go and get some coffee to wake up and he sees this and bam, within the hour he comes over with my favorite coffee. So if you have mentioned something you love, I swear he'll remember it._

_He's painfully loyal, I heard from Becky that you are too, so I guess you two will get along. Just don't go dying for each other okay? Cassie has already lost too much._

There was some space before the next paragraph so Dean decided it'd be a good idea to take a break and lean back to think about this.

_'So if you have mentioned something you love, I swear he'll remember it'_  kept floating around his head, maybe that's why he didn't touch the impala when Dean was taken, because Dean loves that car more than his entire existence.

Rubbing his face slightly Dean reached over for his beer and emptied the bottle before continuing.

_I had dinner with Anna today, Castiel's second oldest sibling. I told her about this, she disagrees with the idea but then again she told me that he has newspaper clippings of your life at his place so I think it's a little fair. I convinced her to agree with me, and then she mentioned that I should tell you his favorite singers because apparently you listen to the same shit over and over again (hey yell at Becky, not me) anyway. If you want to get into Castiel's heart or at least get him to open up he's a hardcore fan of Janis Joplin. The amount of embarrassing stories that Anna told me about Cassie and Janis Joplin is staggering. I won't bore you with them however. Plus I've been googling all this shit to keep my facts straight and all this typing is getting me annoyed. Ironic, since I'm a hacker._

_Oh! I just remembered Cas has an affinity towards animals, cats and birds mostly. But apparently when the Novak family was younger they had a dog and that thing protected Cassie with his life._

_Gabriel just stopped by to drop off my special edition of the Harry Potter movie series, he hacked into my computer when I went to the bathroom and he left this message:_

_Hola whomever you are,_

_I snuck onto Charlie's computer and skimmed past her whole long saga shit and even though I wanted to delete the whole bit about me it's true so I might as well keep it there. I did delete some stuff, pretty sure Charlie will just bring it back though. Fucking hackers. Anyway, whomever you are, you best be careful with my little bro. I will fuck you up. He's my world, well besides candy and my fiancée. But still. Any who, you should know that in high school little Cassie-poo was a rebel, I was pretty proud of him. Took him to get his first tattoo at the age of 16, it was really expensive. But we paid for it with our uncles credit card so I guess it was all in good fun. He used to have his eyebrow pierced, you look hard enough you can probably still see the holes._

_Oh shit Charlie is coming back._

_ABORT ABORT ABORT._

_That's Gabriel for you. I thought since he probably wanted you to read it that I should leave it here. I've never seen Castiel's tattoo, I've heard rumors about it, but Anna and Gabe refuse to let me even get hints at what it might be. Too bad. It's apparently one of those family secrets._

_Alright, well that's all I can think of right now. Sorry if this isn't what you expected, by the way Becky explained it you wanted dirt on Cassie and that's just not going to happen. He's the sweetest, strongest man I have ever met. He's saved me from Agent Fuller's wrath for being a lesbian for years, and even when he left he somehow still manages to keep Agent Fuller away from picking on me. He's like an older brother to me, a secretive older brother with a smoking addiction but still._

_Peace out, bitches,_

_Agent Charlie F. Bradbury_

Dean was pretty sure that this packet went from something extremely serious to a crack story. He wasn't sure. Instead he flipped the page and on the last page was a list of movies Castiel had never watched. Some with a ';D' next to them.

No wonder Charlie and Becky were good friends.

At the bottom of the page was a handwritten note by who Dean could assume was Charlie.

' _Hey Dean I finished this yesterday but I felt the need to take another day and write my number down. Call if anything happens to Cassie, ok?'_

And under that was her number. Dean reached over and grabbed his phone, going into his contacts before adding her. He was about to put his phone on the charger when he stopped himself. Feeling slightly silly for doing this he ignored the heat over the tips of his ears as he went into the calendar on his phone and to September 18th, creating a new event for Castiel's birthday. Clearing his throat he felt the need to do something manly. Putting his phone on the charger and kicking Zepp out of his room he spent some one-on-one time with his left hand.

If when Dean fell asleep to dreams of bright blue eyes and scrubby stubble against his own no one would know. No one but him.

* * *

The next day was boring. Correction, the morning of Friday was boring.

As soon as he got to the office, without Zepp this time, he was attacked by Becky. "Dean!" She almost screamed into his face.

"Good morning to you too Becky." He grumbled, he was really tired today, despite the average eight hours of sleep he felt tired and not in the mood to deal with screaming.

Becky didn't seem to notice because she just grinned and held up doggy bag containing something. "Guess where I went today." She sang out happily in his face.

Oh sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

"No." Dean nearly whispered, trying his best to contain his sudden excitement but his eyes betrayed him and widened, eyeing the bag that contained god.

"Yep!" She squealed handing him the bag before hugging him. "I was running late so they were open!" She grinned, but Dean wasn't listening. He was just dreaming of the moment he'd get to his office. "So I stopped by and grabbed you some."

"Becky." Dean started, pushing Becky away with his free hand to look her seriously in the eyes. "You're the best."

"Oh I know!" She grinned before pushing him towards his office. "Have fun!" She called after him before dancing back to her desk.

Dean didn't notice until he was about to open the office door that Cas was right behind him. He probably had came in right after Dean and since the little fucker was silent like a ninja he hadn't noticed.

"What did Becky give you?" Castiel asked as he sipped at his coffee and looked at the mysterious bag like it contained a bomb or some sex tapes. Dean couldn't contain his smile as he bumped the office door open with his hip so Castiel wouldn't have to bother.

He didn't answer Cas until he was sitting at his desk with the bag in front of him like it was the holy grail.

"Pie."

Castiel looked at Dean like he had three heads, "You get this excited over pie?" he asked skeptically like a guy who's going to be turning 30 shouldn't be this happy over a pastry.

Dean took out the apple pie like he was dealing with a bomb and reached into the bag for the napkins and fork that were waiting for him on the bottom. Without even thinking about how it might be too much information Dean nodded, "Hells yes. My mom used to make me apple pie whenever I was good, like when I finally learned how to ride a bike or stupid shit like that. It was awesome." He popped the plastic tabs to reveal the sweet pastry and grinned. "There is only one place around here that makes pie even close to how my mom used to make it and that's Ms. Mosley's Baked Goods. Becky passes it every day but they're only open when she's running late and sometimes she'll get me some." He kept grinning madly, now loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top button of his collared shirt.

"Ah." Was all Castiel said as he sat down at his own desk, removing his jacket and getting his laptop out from his bag. Dean opted for ignoring Castiel's slender fingers for the flaky goodness of pie.

They sat in silence for the time that it took Dean to finish his pie, which was nice. Cas was reading something probably online so Dean didn't feel the need to get involved. That is until Cas slammed his computer screen down (totally not making Dean jump, nope) and rubbed his face.

"Jesus Novak!" Dean called as he almost choked on his pie, "What's wrong?"

Castiel held a hand up to Dean as he probably counted down from ten or some shit like that before explaining. "This old employer I had has been bothering a personal friend of mine."

"Who? Charlie?" He asked around a mouth of pie before realizing his slip.

Son of a bitch.

Castiel's head whipped up, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he looked at Dean, "Yes." He started carefully before continuing. "How do you know that?" To lie or not to lie... Oh it was going to be a fun day.

"I connected Charlie, she basically wrote me a letter of recommendation for you." So, it was half a lie, but basically true. All the information he had learned about Cas painted him in nothing but good light.

"How did you get ahold of her?" Castiel asked in a carefully measured voice, his eyes never leaving Dean's face.

So it was the Spanish Inquisition all of a sudden? Dean had been interrogated before, he could take it. Swallowing the rest of his pie down he threw the garage into the trashbin before turning to Cas and explaining himself. "Becky and Charlie are friends, I asked Becky to find out something on you since when I first met you it seemed like you knew a lot on me." He shrugged, "It turns out Charlie was a bad source of information. She just went on and on about how amazing you were and that I'd end up in a ditch somewhere if I did anything to fuck with you."

Dean was pretty sure Cas would have punched him right then and there but instead he just shook his head. "You could have just asked Winchester." Growled out Castiel, but losing his venom quicker than Dean expected.

"Yeah well, neither of us are really sharers are we?" Dean rebutted.

Cas just snorted and shook his head, standing up and slipping his jacket on. "This is true." He paused as he pulled his sleeve up, "We will talk about this when I get back." He informed Dean like there was no other choice. Which there probably wasn't, not with Cas.

However, Dean could see the steely anger still in Castiel's eyes and he stood up. "Where are you going?"

"To deal with Agent Fuller." He answered coolly, taking his gun off his belt and placing it in his desk drawer.

"Let me come with you." Dean offered, there was something very unsettling about just letting Castiel go off on his own to argue with a man that had the UPS Willy Wonka dishonorably discharged.

But Castiel just shook his head, "No. It will just involve me walking into the office to give Charlie something and he will swarm me and leave her alone. I wouldn't have to say a thing."

Dean still didn't like the plan but he sat back down and nodded. "Alright. Just be careful." He didn't mean to sound so considered but it just happened.

Castiel's blue eyes zeroed in on Dean's face for a moment before he nodded, "I plan to." And with that Agent Castiel Novak left his partner.

* * *

Agent Dean Winchester, big macho Dean Winchester from Lawrence, Kansas spent the good part of 45 minutes freaking the fuck out. Castiel hadn't come back and Dean just could imagine what that son of a bitch Agent Fuller was doing. Nothing violent, because Dean was confidant in Castiel's fighting abilities but he was more concerned with what he was _saying_  to Cas. Dean was well aware of the power of words, how words unlike bruises, stayed forever. Haunting one's memory for the rest of their lives.

Dean was ready to climb into the impala and drive his ass over to CIA headquarters when he remembered something, something very important. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his phone and searched for the contact. Without a seconds hesitation Dean texted Charlie Bradbury.

 

March 7, 2013, 12:34 PM

Charlie? This is Dean Winchester.   
Cas left awhile ago to go over to you and   
I was just wondering if he's ok.

 

March 7, 2013, 12:36 PM

Hello Dean, yes he's fine. He's with me  
at the moment having some lunch. Is he  
missing anything? ;D

CB <3

 

Dean breathed out, okay Cas was safe. He could breath and calm the fuck down. Looking at his phone he decided that since paperwork was the design of satan he might as well procrastinate as long as he could.

 

March 7, 2013, 12:40 PM

No, he isn't. I was just just curious.  
That's all. Tell him I'll cover for him  
if Bobby is looking for him.

 

March 7, 2013, 12:42 PM

Well do! Hey Dean, when  
did you start calling Cassie  
Cas? x3

CB <3

 

Dean decided that it was time to do paperwork, it wasn't going to do it's self after all. And if he didn't answer Charlie back at that, well, he was busy.

* * *

Cas came back at around 1:20, just when Dean had finished all his work on some vague shootings he had been putting off for awhile. Dean had stood up to bring the papers to Bobby when a smiling Cas entered the room. "Hello Dean." He said happily, holding an indiscript brown bag.

"Hey Castiel." He said, his body relaxing at the mere presence the other man. Which was odd since he knew where Cas had been and that he had been safe, not lying in a puddle of his own tears or in a ditch.

"How was your time?"

Cas grinned, an actual grin, his gums showing and all and holy fuck was that hot and adorable all wrapped up into one package. It seriously made Dean stupid it was that gorgeous.

"Agent Fuller acted as planned, informed me as always that I will die cold and alone but it was worth it because Charlie took me to Jesse's." He raised the paper bag happily and Dean's mouth dropped open. Jesse's Bar and Grill had the best burgers to grace the East Coast.

"She took you to Jesse's? Damn someone had an awesome time." He chuckled as he continued to the door, expecting Cas to move out of his way, which he didn't.

"Yes. Jesse's is run by my soon to be sister-in-law. So we often go there."

Pause, rewind.

"You have connections to Jesse's?" This was way too small of a world.

Cas gave Dean a funny look before nodding, "Yes, it is owned by Pamela Barnes, who is Gabriel's fiancée."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dean just didn't believe it, "So you're telling me that you have family connections to that place."

Castiel's brow furrowed and he did the little 'curious bird' thing that Dean had seen before and that Charlie had dubbed just that. "Yes, is that a problem Dean?"

Dean laughed and clapped Cas on the back. "Nah man, just... It's awesome." Dean smiled at his partner and for the first time Castiel really smiled at Dean. It wasn't the gum showing one but it was a soft shy one that just screamed, 'I'm adorable. Hug me'. And boy was Dean tempted.

To stop himself from doing anything stupid he removed his hand from Castiel's shoulder and tapped the manilla folders in his hand. "Hey I have to go to Bobby's office really quick to drop these off. You have anything you want me to bring over?"

Castiel's eyes moved from Dean's face to the folders and he thought for a moment. "Yes actually." He replied before walking over to his own desk. Placing the brown bag down he grabbed his own pile of folders and bringing them over to Dean. "These are complete."

Dean's mouth went slack, "Dude." He started, sizing up Castiel's pile of work, "You were just on an adventure and you managed to do more work than me. How?" Cas smiled and honest to god, winked at Dean.

"Its a secret, Dean." He turned back to his desk as Dean's body went all numb. Cas winked at him.

Cas w _inked_ at him.

It seemed like Dean would have to have a quicky with his hand as soon as he was off of work.

* * *

Dean dropped off his and Castiel's paperwork with no interactions whatsoever with Bobby, as his superior was on the phone with another head honcho named Crowley from the bureau in New York. Be didnt even get stopped on his way back to the office as Becky was actually gone on a recon mission.

So Dean was only gone for less than three minutes but when he returned to his office there was something on his desk. Not just anything, but a freaking huge bacon cheeseburger from Jesse's.

Dean had actually paused at the door, dumbfounded as he looked to and from the burger to Castiel, who was sitting at his desk, his face hidden behind his computer with a smirk all over his face.

"Castiel."

Cas looked up, trying to school his expression, "Yes Dean?"

"Did you get me a burger from Jesse's?"

Castiel's face won over Castiel's will power and he smiled. "Yes, Charlie mentioned how you asked my whereabouts and I thought it was only fair since you were covering for me. Pamela happened to remember your favorite burger." He shrugged and watched Dean's face, "So I ordered one for you."

Dean's karma must be amazing, or god actually existed. Because he walked back to his desk and looked at the still warm burger and then up to Castiel. "Jesus Christ, Cas. I could marry you."

FOOT IN MOUTH, DEAN. FOOT IN MOUTH.

Dean's face flushed the brightest it ever had and he ducked his head down to the burger, grabbing it with both hands and practically shoving it down his throat.

From the time that Dean had said that to the time that he finished the burger he refused to look up, no way in hell. No way. When Dean finally  did have the balls to look up Castiel, he was typing something on the computer a thoughtful expression on his face. He paused when he felt Dean's eyes on him and looked up, locking their eyes.

"Was it good?" He asked, completely ignoring Dean's accidental proclamation of love much to Dean's joy.

"Fuck yeah man." He grinned, relaxing as he wiped his mouth with the napkins Cas had put with the burger. "Thanks." He added, this time making sure to keep their eyes connected. Cas just nodded and smiled sheepishly, "I am glad. I would be lying if I said I wasn't slightly concerned when I ordered it."

Dean laughed and shook his head, "Nah Cas, pretty much anything with meat I'll eat." Dean flushed with red again.

Wow Dean, thats two in a row. Good going.

Castiel's expression stayed the same however and he just shook his head, "I will keep that in mind."

* * *

It was five before either of them really noticed it.

So, packing up they both started out of the office and down the stairs. Becky still wasn't back but her computer was turned off and god forbid they tried to break into her computer and she came back. Becky was a tad bit obsessive about her space, Dean didn't doubt that she had a video camera on it that would alert her if anyone got near her computer. So it was best not to try.

As they got to the parking garage and the two were about to leave each other's company Dean decided to ask Cas something. "Hey Castiel." Cas turned his head towards Dean waiting for whatever he had to say. "Are you coming to Sam's this weekend for that party I was talking about?"

Castiel looked taken aback for a second before nodding slowly, "Yes. It is very hard to lie to Gabriel so I figured I might as well." He watched Dean's face as Dean had to state, "You know you can bring anyone you want..." He didn't want to, Glen Washington would ruin Dean's time.

Castiel nodded once again at this, "Thank you very much Dean but I think I will fly this one solo."

Dean tried his hardest not to whoop. "Alright." He cleared his throat of the little yelp of joy that wanted to escape. "I can pick you up if you want."

Castiel was already shaking his head. "I believe that will not be necessary. My car needs to be taken out. But thank you for the offer." He started towards the entrance of the parking garage as he called over his shoulder. "Just text me the information."

When Castiel was out of sight Dean couldn't help but do a little dance, and if the agents four cars down looked at him strange well Dean didn't give a flying fuck.

* * *

It seemed that the moment that Dean left work the weather turned to complete shit, it had already been a cloudy day but the moment he stepped out of his car he could hear the thunder and knew it'd be a shit night.

Dean climbed the stairs to the third floor and turned on his apartment lights to find Zepp contently sleeping on the couch. When he finally made his way into the kitchen there was a note from Sammy saying that he had taken Zepp out at noon for a good jog since there was supposed to be a storm that night. Dean sent his brother a thankful text before feeding his mutt and making himself some cereal for dinner.

Yo-ho the bachelor life forever.

Once he did get some nutrients into his body he changed out of his work clothes but opted to just lay around in his boxer briefs, it was way too humid to change into sweats.

Dean wasn't sure how it happened, it might be the fact that he was waiting for six when the SciFi channel was going to show Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, but somehow he ended up texting Castiel.

 

March 7, 2013, 5:52 PM

Hey Castiel, just so you know  
the party starts at noon.

 

March 7, 2013, 5:52 PM

Thank you Dean. What is   
Sam's address?

-Novak

 

Dean sent Cas the address and he was pretty convinced that would be the end of their conversation. But Castiel surprised him and actually brought up a new train of conversation.

 

March 7 2013, 5:54 PM

Dean, I finished all my paperwork  
at work. I am at a loss of what to do  
now.

-Novak

 

March 7, 2013, 5:55 PM

Dude, you have cable? Go  
onto channel 61. Syfy is showing  
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back  
you NEED to watch it.

 

March 7, 2013, 5:56 PM

Ok, I am on that channel now.  
What is it about?

-Novak

 

March 7, 2013, 5:56 PM

Oh God Cas, you've missed  
the best part of growing up.

  
Dean spent the rest of the night texting Cas exactly what was happening during the movie, explaining the ins and outs of the Galactic Empire. If he he happened to fight the feelings of sleep until the very moment Castiel informed him he was going to bed, well Zepp was the only one there. And she kept sending him judging looks. That bitch.


	3. Now Serving Janis Joplin with a side of Star Wars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Morning everyone :)  
> I just want you all to know that this is my favorite chapter in this fic, there's a lot of banter that I really just enjoy so I hope you do as well :)
> 
> A side note for those who are asking me if I'm going to continue this fic:  
> It's already completely done, there's even ficlets to it as well, I just am editing them myself as I go so that's why there's delays in uploading.
> 
> also, like stated before if there are any mistakes you catch PLEASE tell me :) just either on here or on my tumblr (sidingwiththeangels) so that I can fix it :)

The next morning Dean woke up to the beautiful sounds of birds chirping. Just kidding, at about seven in the morning Dean heard the screams of the sirens from the fire truck barrelling out of the station right down the road. Dean groaned into his his couch pillow, he was so not appreciating that kind of wake up.

After several moments of trying to coaxed himself back to sleep Dean rolled over to face his room, Zepp was sitting on the carpet in front of him, her tail wagging madly as she had known that'd wake him up. Sometimes Dean wondered if Zepp was secretly starting these fires just to wake him up so she could eat.

He didn't doubt it.

Yawning, Dean stretched, rubbing his neck and face before stumbling into the kitchen and making a sleep-drunk walk over to the coffee maker. It wasn't often that he actually had the time to make his own coffee but when he did... he treasured it. He had a large collection of all different coffee beans that he'd grind up in the morning and god, was it beautiful.

Once Dean grinded up some of his favorite hazelnut coffee beans and threw them into the coffee machine he started to putter around the apartment, feeding Zepp, fixing the blankets from around the couch that had fallen off due to general apartment activity. When the machine warned him his coffee was ready Dean paused his cleaning to pour himself a good mug full. And because he was feeling the need for a little kick in his morning routine he added some sweetener.

That was the first time he thought of Cas that morning and it was a freaking cup of coffee that reminded him. Cas had made fun of Dean for drinking his coffee black and now he was trying it with some sweetener. Great job, Dean you aren't even getting any and you're changing for this fucker on a subconscious level.

Claps all around.

Dean sipped on his coffee as he leaned against his kitchen counter, this place was a crawl space but he loved it. He loved his apartment, how small and cozy it was, how the other tenants were always quiet (unless the grandma next door had her grandkids over but that was rarely when Dean was home). He loved how there was a pizza place down the road and a 7-Eleven just a little farther.

Once Dean was half way done with his coffee he trudged over to his bedroom to check out his closet and see what he was going to wear.

March this year wasn't exactly the warmest Dean had ever experienced in DC but it wasn't the coldest so he settled for a greyed brown henley and some of his favored jeans. Was it bad that Dean was excited as hell to dress casually? No. Not at all, he decided as he threw his clothing on the bed and downed the rest of his coffee.

When he turned around Zepp was sitting in the doorway, watching Dean through narrowed eyes, "Relax." He motioned to her before starting his way towards the bathroom. "As soon as I'm out of the shower we'll go out." Zepp huffed but made her way into the living room to glare at Dean from the couch until he closed the second bathroom door.

* * *

When Dean finally was out of the shower, clean shaven and everything, he took Zepp for a walk. Grabbing his phone and his headphones he got into the elevator. With enough time to waste Dean decided to check his phone. He didn't expect anything, because no one ever texted him, so you can imagine his surprise when he discovered five new text messages...all from one person. Cas.

 

March 7, 2013, 11:23 PM

Dean, I know you're probably  
asleep but I simply cannot go to bed.

-Novak

 

March 8, 2013, 1:35 AM

Is it normal to be up this early?

-Novak

 

March 8, 2013, 1:41 AM

Probably not.

-Novak

 

March 8, 2013, 5:11 AM

I managed to get to sleep  
but now I am convinced I   
will not be able to fall back asleep.  
This is all your fault.

-Novak

 

March 8, 2013, 5:20 AM

It really is Dean. I had a dream  
that I was a jedi. I believe I have  
you to thank for that.

-Novak

 

The moment the elevator doors open Dean typed his response, since texts never were received or sent from that death trap.

 

March 6, 2013, 7:14 AM

Cas, no offence but you need  
some sleeping pills or some shit.  
being up at that time ain't that healthy.  
  


March 8, 2013, 7:14 AM

Oh and by the way Cas,   
You are so welcome for those  
dreams. being a jedi is fucking   
kick ass.

 

Dean smiled and put on some Def Leppard as he left the building. Heading out onto Van Ness Street Dean took Zepp out to walk their normal route. When Zepp paused to sniff a tree Dean's headphones sounded, alerting him of a new message.

 

March 8, 2013, 7:20 AM

Yes Dean the dream was   
reasonably 'Kick Ass'.

Also what am I to wear today?  
I am unsure if this is a formal  
BBQ.

-Novak

 

Dean openly laughed when he read that text, he totally could see Castiel doing his air quotations around 'kick ass'. His laughing earned him a good solid bitchface from Zepp who then pulled him along farther down the road before making a right onto 38th Street. Dean's only reaction was to laugh harder and text Cas back.

 

March 8, 2013, 7:33 AM

Formal BBQs? Really Cas?  
No, it's casual. Just wear a   
t-shirt and some jeans or   
something like that.

 

March 8, 2013, 7:34 AM

Dean, I lost all my t-shirts  
when one of the other tenants  
decided it would be funny to put  
black dye into the 'gay couples'  
clothing.

-Novak

 

Oh ow, Dean whistled. That shit sucked. Dean silently thanked his lucky stars that his neighbors were the nicer people in Washington DC.

Dean thought on Castiel's text for the rest of the walk with Zepp before dragging her ass back to the apartment. Of course Zepp tried to make her way to the McDonalds across the street so she could beg for food from the kids that hung out there. That sneaky little shit.

The reply came to Dean as he and Zepp climbed the stairs and he quickly pulled out his phone to write his response.

 

March 8, 2013, 7:51 AM

Ok, well the way I see it is  
you either wear a guinea tee  
or I let you borrow one of mine.

 

March 8, 2013, 7:52 AM

I think I will wear one of   
my undershirts.

-Novak

 

Ow, rejected. He cringed but didn't see the point in texting Cas back at that point, so shoving his phone into his pocket he opened his apartment door and stepped in.

* * *

Dean and Zepp left the apartment at around eleven to make the half an hour trip to the suburbs that surrounded Washington DC. At least Sam moved somewhere reasonably close.

Blasting Aerosmith's Voodoo Medicine Man Dean turned onto Sammy's street. Dean decided that he loved today's weather, it had to be in the mid-50s so it was perfect weather to have the windows down when you're actually going the speed limit. Which Dean did abide by when he was near these types of suburbs.

Green eyes scanned, looking for the cozy two story light blue house with the white shutters and porch. It was always the 20th house in, huh, that was new.

No, not really.

What was new about the house however was the fact that the picket fence in front had balloons tied to it. Freakin' apple-pie life man. Dean pulled into the driveway easily enough and as always, he was early.

Sam must have heard the Impala from down the road because the moment Dean had parked the car there was an 6'4" Goliath with a horse's mane standing outside of his window grinning like an idiot.

"Dean!" He called happily, moving aside when Dean opened the door to step out. They hugged briefly before Zepp started to whine to be let out of the back seat.

Reaching over and opening the door for the dog, Sam was tackled to the ground (an amazing feat that Dean still didn't understand how she did it). As Sam lay on the ground, getting mauled by Zepp Dean realized that he hadn't told Sam that he was inviting Cas.... whoops.

"Sam, I invited my new partner. I hope that's alright."

Sam laughed as he covered his mouth so Zepp wouldn't do any french kisses and nodded, "Yeah, sure Dean." He mumbled out from behind his hand.

Dean was glad that Sam was so easy going with this request. A month ago when Dean had asked if one of his other friends, Agent Benjamin 'Benny' Lafitte, could join Sam had been against it. But that was only because of the bad rep Laffite had racked up when he had discovered some spies in his bureau. Who can blame a man if he went a little crazy when it turned out one of them had taken his wife and murdered her? Dean would have killed the bastards too.

Eventually Dean had explained how Benny had saved his ass on a terrorist attack they had both been assigned to with their partners at the time. This seemed to get Sam off his back a little, but Dean knew it'd take awhile for him to completely trust Benny.

Zepp stopped licking Sam that moment to look up at the truck that pulled up into the driveway. Awesome, Bobby was here. As soon as the truck stopped Zepp ran towards the driver's door,  jumping up and down excitedly for Bobby to hurry. Sam's house was a safe spot for Zepp, where she didn't have to guard Dean and could truly enjoy herself. After all, she was the biggest social butterfly Dean knew.

* * *

One by one everyone was showing up, Dean had said 'hi' to Jess before being directed to the grill by Sam who in all honesty couldn't cook on a grill for shit.

Benny came 40 minutes after Dean had and saddled right up next to Dean's side to help with the grill. When Sammy did throw Benny a dirty look the southern walked back to his old trucker, carrying a huge ass pot.

"What's that?" Sam had asked, eying Benny with Jess at his side.

"My prize winnin' jumbo." Benny drawled, watching both Mr. and Mrs. Winchester.

Jess's face seemed to light up at that, and with a few determined steps came over and lifted the top to get a good wiff. "Oh!" She exclaimed, looking at Benny with a whole new light. "This smells amazing!"

With a deep chuckle Benny bows his head, nodding towards the Mrs. of the house, "Thank ya ma'am."

Jessica's golden locks fell back as she laughed, gently patting Benny's coat covered arm, "Oh no, not ma'am." She gave Sam a playful horrified face, "I don't look that old do I?" She doesn't wait for her husband to respond just simply gives him a playful wink before ushering Benny towards the house. "Come on let's get this into the kitchen."

Dean couldn't help but grin to himself when that happened, Jess was awesome. She was just so damn nice to everyone it was ridiculous, she kept Sammy grounded and happy... she was perfect for Sam.

After finishing about 20 hotdogs and hamburgers collectively Dean took a break with his cooking and went to help Benny and Bobby set up the first fire in the burning pit.

There had been a bit of an argument whether using alcohol to help make a fire was ethical but they eventually got it sorted out. Almost the very moment they stood Sam decided to shout over the yard. "Anyone know how to sing?"

Dean froze. Oh no.

Benny raised his hand slightly, "Yeah, I do." This seemed to surprise Sam but only for a second before he plastered on that smile that looked real, even if it wasn't. "Did you know Dean can play?" Dean groaned and rested his face in his hands.

"No I did not." Benny said as he turned his head towards Dean. "Any other surprising facts I should know about you brother?" He smiled in that way that meant Dean didn't actually have to share anything with him. He just knew.

Dean smiled slightly back, Benny was a good guy, he was raised in the South on good Southern values (and not on those hate black and homosexual values) so he and Dean had gotten along rather well when they first met.

Sam nodded at Benny, "Yeah if I get his guitar will you sing something?"

Benny turned his attention towards Sam and nodded, "Yeah of course, so long as I can sing whatever he's playin'." Sam's smile this time wasn't faked and he nodded as he dashed inside like an overexcited puppy, his hair flowing in the wind he created. Dean snicked, that boy really needed a haircut. How he was able to keep his hair that long in his job position, Dean would never know.

Sam was already walking back into the backyard, holding Dean's acoustic guitar when all the grease monkeys in the vicinity turned heads towards the road, hearing the roar of a classic.

Up pulled a 1970 Oldsmobile 442, painted cherry red with classic racing stripes. Dean was pretty sure he already had a boner just from the car but he defiantly sure that he had one the second that Agent Castiel Novak stepped out of the car wearing black jeans, a white shirt and a grey and red flannel thrown over his shoulders. Dean has, swear to god, never been this turned on in his life. And thank god for Sammy who just at that moment handed the guitar to Dean. He was pretty sure no one saw the action in his pants as the guitar was a quick enough fix. But now it just meant that he actually had to play something until the urges went away.

"You're late Novak!" Dean called as Castiel walked closer, a smile playing on his lips at that.

"I am sorry for being so tardy. My sister needed my assistance this morning." Dean somehow doubted that, but he didn't say anything on it.

Instead Dean motioned to everyone, "Everyone this is my new partner Castiel Novak." He paused so that Cas could smile at everyone before picking up where he left off, "Cas you know Bobby Singer, that's my brother Sammy, his wife Jessica, her best friend Sarah Blake. That's Ellen Harvelle meanest mofo around." He winked at her even though she gave him the stink eye, "That's Rufus Turner, one of Bobby's friends. That's Andy Gallagher, he works with Sam. And this." He nodded his head towards Benny, "Is Benny Lafitte." Dean wasn't sure how he slipped Cas out, it seemed so easy now and he might as well just keep it around, after all it was easier to say. Castiel greeted everyone respectfully but just like Sammy had, seemed to have some restraint towards Benny.

Of course, Dean mentally kicked himself. The CIA had probably heard about Benny through the wire and all assumed he was some bat shit crazy man. But the thing was, Benny didn't even get fired. He got a slap on the wrist and was sent on a five month leave but they let him come back.

Dean cleared his throat as his fingers hovered over the strings, unsure of what to play. It had been a while since Dean had played the guitar, and even at his age now, he still felt some stings of stage fright. Biting the inside of his lip he started to warm up via Stairway to Heaven because honestly, Fucking Led Zeppelin man. While he did mess up on occasion, he eventually felt his fingers fall into position, gaining their flow with the strings.

Zepp, as if on cue came running out of the house (probably from the kitchen were someone that Dean hadn't introduced was feeding her unhealthy foods) and ran up to Cas, licking his hand until he knelt down and pet her. And Jesus Christ all mighty, those pants were sinful and meant to be ripped off of Castiel because they outlined him perfectly. Dean had to actually, physically, tear his eyes away from the black expanse of fabric covered crotch that was being shown like some high class cock tease video.

Dean was going to have blue balls for weeks because of Castiel. He was sure of it.

"Benny," Dean was desperate to distract himself from Castiel's collar bone, which by the way, was a whole different kind of sinful. Seriously, if Dean had a picture of that shit he would be set for years on material to use for lonely nights. "What songs do you know?"

Benny hummed thoughtfully. "Ya' know the band Iron & Wine?" Castiel's head popped up hopefully at the mentioning of that band and god dammit Dean, you're a man but you have to admit your weaknesses sometimes.

"Yeah, its one of Sammy's favorite bands." Sam snorted and allowed the comment to go ignored. But he watched Dean carefully, like he was acting weird or something, which apparently caused Sam to make the was 'Dean you okay?' face.

"How 'bout playin' some? The Trapeze Swinger, sound good?" Benny was totally watching Dean like a hawk now. Well shit, maybe it wasn't a good idea of having Sam and Benny in the same area as him and Cas. They both had their master's in Dean 101.

"Yeah sure." He cleared his throat.

"Dean you should totally sing too." Sam jumped in just when Dean started the cords. Oh he was going to fucking strangle his brother. On his brother's property, in front his boss, partner and several lawyers.

"Fine." He almost spat before trying to clear his head, but it was so fucking hard with Castiel's bright blues locked on his face. With a quick look at Benny he started the first chords. "We're gonna take it it's little slow now, cause I haven't played in forever."

"I got ya brother." Benny acknowledges allowing Dean to look down at the guitar and focus on the chords. Both men started tapping their feet to the beat Dean created on the guitar, Benny gently clapped his free hands together, adding to the sound. Starting with the gentle hums and 'Oohs' the two fell into a swing. It was comfortable singing with Benny, like his calm encompassed on you and made you forget the fears you had originally. With a little nod to one another they started to sing.

 _Please, remember me happily_   
_By the rosebush laughing_   
_With bruises on my chin, the time when_   
_We counted every black car passing_   
_Your house beneath the hill_   
_And up until someone caught us in the kitchen_   
_With maps, a mountain range, a piggy bank_   
_A vision too removed to mention_

Whenever one of them would forget the lyrics the other would fill in for them, making it a nice back and forth of vocals. With Benny's southern drawl and Dean's almost country twang the whole yard was silent in appreciation. From the corner of his eye Dean could see Zepp laying down, her head placed on what Dean could assume was Castiel's leg. It didn't make him nervous then, how well they got along, instead it brought on a warm feeling. His baby was happy, content with the gentle head scratch she was getting from Cas.

Like 'We'll meet again' and 'Fuck the man'  
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'  
And angels with their great handshakes  
But always done in such a hurry **  
**

There were parts of the song that neither Benny or Dean knew and they would either skip or hum the tune in place of the forgotten words. It didn't change the atmosphere, if anything, it made it more relaxed, with people chuckling kindly at the mistakes.

 _And when the morning came I was ashamed_  
_Only now it seems so silly_  
_That season left the world and then returned_  
_And now you're lit up by the city_ **  
**

Dean didn't actually look up from his guitar until the song was over, he didn't dare as he could feel Castiel's eyes on him and if he looked up he might be lost in those eyes like so many times before. And with the magic of the song still hanging in the air it just felt right to stare, and he couldn't.... Not with his family all around. Otherwise he'd be truly fucked because he'd have to explain how he was harboring the hugest crush on his partner to _all_  his friends and family.

However, once the song was over Dean did have the balls enough to look up and hell, he was rewarded with a soft, sweet, smile from Castiel. Instead of sending thrills of lust through Dean this smile gave him a warm tingly feeling that caused his heart to rush and his ears to turn pink. He looked down in embarrassment as people clapped and cheered Dean and Benny on, so of course he missed the look that was passed between Benny, Sam and Bobby.

"I didn't know you could sing Dean." Castiel spoke up after everyone was done cheering on the two FBI agents.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly, blood rushing to his ears. "Yeah, its something I try to keep to myself." He glared at Sam at the 'myself' bit, but Sam just grinned back that stupid happy grin that no one could ever say no to.

"Dean you should sing another one." Sam offered and now Dean really wanted to murder him.

However, Jessica was more sympathetic to Dean's crisis and had shaken her head. "Babe, he can't. The ribs are ready for his expertise."

Dean almost sprung from his seat, passing the guitar to Benny. "I should go do that." He said hurriedly before following Jessica into the kitchen. Jessica had been about to hand over the food tray to Dean but he excused himself to the bathroom.

Dean leaned against the sink and collected his thoughts. He was okay, he was totally okay. Yep 100% okay.

No, no he wasn't. He leaned forward and rested his head on the mirror in front of him as he closed his eyes. He was so not okay, he had brought his very taken, dangerously hot partner to a family barbecue and had told him to dress down. There was just something about removing that formality that felt so... different with Castiel then it ever had with other partners. It wasn't like the normal, 'hey you're my partner and I respect you let's go have a couple beers' it was way too different. With Cas it felt like, 'hey this is my life, make yourself comfortable' and it made Dean freak.

To make matters worse, a large portion of the people out there knew Dean. They knew how he acted normally and how this... this was so odd for him.

Taking some steadying breaths Dean splashed some water on his face.

After a moment Dean rests his head against the mirror, letting the weight really set in. Now everyone in his whole circle of friends would know he had _something_  for his partner. And what if they asked him about acting upon it? Having to explain the whole Glen Washington thing was not on his list of things to do.

Just kill him now.

* * *

Dean left the bathroom after a three minute pep talk to himself and got the food from Jess. He was about to leave the kitchen when she wrapped a small hand around his arm.

Jess wasn't a small woman, she was built strongly and despite her sweet smile and golden locks could fuck you up on any day. But Jess didn't need to use her strength, she had the power to stop him with a touch. Something she and Dean's mother had in common. "Dean, can I talk to you for a moment?" She asked softly, and Dean nodded dumbly, walking more into the kitchen so not to be spied on.

"So, Castiel, he's your new business partner?"

Dean nodded, not trusting his mouth since his neck was already feeling a little too warm for comfort.

"And you like him?" She continued, watching Dean's face carefully. Fucking damnit Jess.

"Yeah he's a nice guy." Dean avoided, shifting from foot to foot. Jessica just rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, giving him her best impression of an unamused lawyer.

"Not like that Dean, you know what I mean." Dean was pretty sure he'd have to admit this fact to about everyone at this barbecue and he was so not ready for it.

But instead of being an adult Dean decided to do something quite childish and just walk around Jess and right out. Which was answer enough for her and he knew that.

It was refreshing to walk out into the yard and  see everyone talking. Benny was the only one staying silent, or at least not talking to anyone since he was playing some simple notes on the guitar and humming along. Dean just made a beeline for the grill and popped it open, placing the slabs of meat onto the racks.

Humming noncommittally to the song Benny was contributing to the air around them, Dean  almost didn't notice Castiel behind him, but his Goliath of a brother had cast enough of a shadow to alert Dean.

"How's it going?" Sam grinned, staying a comfortable distance from Cas, which Dean's subconscious agreed with.

Dean sighed and gave Sam the stink eye. "It's going perfectly fine."

Sam nodded at this, smiling all the while like he was completely oblivious to the war raging inside of Dean's gut. "Well, I've been talking to Cas here-" Dean's jealousy flared up, that was his nickname for Castiel, "And I didn't know you were captured by cultists in your boxers!" He broke out laughing hysterically as Dean shot Cas a glare. To which Castiel responded with a devious smile and those god damn doe eyes. Dean sighed inwardly.

Sam would never let that down. It'd be a long day.

* * *

Food was ready soon after this, and everyone teamed up to take out the fold-able table and set it up with mismatched chairs and tablecloths.

Soon all the food hot dogs, hamburgers, ribs, Benny's gumbo, some fucking healthy salad Sam had insisted on bringing out along with several other things littered the table, barely giving them enough room to actually put their plates down. Everyone jostled around until it was comfortable and that was how Dean ended up elbow to elbow with Cas on one side and Benny on the other with Sam right across from him.

He was going to have to commit suicide by shoving too much food in his mouth at one time. And that was going to be difficult due to the fact he was used to shoving large things in his mouth.

Oh Jesus Christ as long as Cas didn't get a hot dog he could hold himself together. Yep, he could totally do it. Luckily for Dean, Castiel seemed more intent on the hamburgers than actual dogs. So Dean could thank whatever higher being decided not to fuck him over on that one.

However, once everyone had their plates filled Dean's bad luck seemed to rear their ugly heads and spit in Dean's face, ruining any chance at a good, non stressful mood.

"So Castiel," Ellen Harvelle started, watching Castiel from across the table, "You a taken boy?" Dean didn't mean to break his plastic fork, it kinda just happened.

If Cas noticed he didn't react to Dean's sudden tenseness, even if he was so close. Benny and Sam however, did notice.

"Yes." Castiel nodded, "I have a boyfriend but he was unable to attend." Dean knew that was a lie, like flat out. But still, hearing the words 'boyfriend' and not 'Dean' made him want to puke out everything he had had in the last five days.

"Oh, well that's... good." Ellen replied, obviously feeling awkward for thinking Dean was his boyfriend. Dean searched around for anything strong enough to gouge his eyes out and hopefully bleed to death. Sadly, the strongest thing able to do such a thing was a serving spoon, that couldn't fit in Dean's eye socket.

"How long have you two been together?" Sam asked as he filled his mouth with greens like the fucking rabbit he was.

"Six months next weekend." Castiel answered, his voice getting slightly cold, as if this was a topic he wished not to talk about.

Dean had had just enough of this conversation for the rest of his life, "Well," He cleared his throat before turning towards Bobby, "How's Jody, Bobby?"

Bobby stopped half way through bringing a fork full of gumbo to his mouth and turned towards Dean, murder in his eyes. Maybe Bobby would figure out what utensil was best for killing Dean.

"None of your business boy."

The rest of the table turned to Bobby then, their faces lighting up like a Christmas tree and all Dean could think was 'Fuck yes. Crisis averted.'

* * *

The rest of the dinner went well in Dean's opinion. Benny and Jess talked about the South as it turned out Jess always wanted to go to Louisiana and that was Benny's home state so it worked. Sam and Cas seemed to talk a lot, mainly about poetry which surprised Dean since he never pegged Cas as a poetry man. Apparently he was a fan of Walt Whitman (who Dean would totally look up later for no reason, nope, none at all).

When it was time to clean up everyone pitched in, Dean, Benny and Sam all broke apart the table and put it away as the rest brought the food in and Bobby sat around grumbling with Ellen about how stupid the fire pit was being. And Zepp, being the fat ass she was, stood by the door begging for scraps. Dean would never tell anyone this but he saw Cas when he stopped and gave her a whole rib. Dude, the apartment was going to smell horrible that night, but he'd let it slide since it was Cas.

Like every get together they somehow ended up all around the fire soon after they finished cleaning up and somehow Dean ended up with a guitar in his hands. Oh and Cas had been pushed to sit next to him.

It was comfortable in all honesty to have Cas that close, homey even if the smell of cigarette smoke wasn't surrounding Cas like a halo. What he didn't expect was after ten minutes of just sitting around in the setting sunlight Cas started to rub his eyes like they were really bothering him something fierce.

Sure the smoke from the fire had come their way a couple of times but it had never really gotten that bad. So when Castiel stood up, still rubbing his eyes Dean got considered, like any normal partner would. "Ya okay Cas?" He tried to cover up his concern and apparently it worked for Cas but Sam gave him epic bitchface #33.

Castiel nodded, touching the skin around his eyes, "Yes Dean. I will be right back." He walked over to his car as fast as he could with Zepp on his heels until they were lost in the darkness.

Dean watched as Cas came back into the light and went straight into the house. The only reason Dean didn't go after him was because Jess was already up and starting towards the house to most likely help so he'd stayed.

"Dean!" Sam shouted to get his attention.

"Jesus! What Sammy?" Dean turned his eyes on Sam and gave him his best glare without any actual malice.

"You were zoning." Sam's voice was clear enough to hear the eye roll but Dean looked up to see it anyway.

"So?" Dean bristled. He really needed to stop doing that around Cas.

"I was asking you if you were actually going to play a song and stop just strumming some useless chords." Sam shot back, his face turned up in that fashion he usually saved for teasing.

It was Dean's turn to roll his eyes now and he huffed dramatically, "Fine Samantha, what do _you_  want me to play?"

Without missing a beat Sam named his song of choice, "What Is And What Should Never Be." There wasn't a doubt in Dean's mind that there was some subconscious brother vibe Sam was sending out but he opted to ignore it like the mature older brother he was.

"Alright." Dean nodded, practicing the first couple of chords before turning to Benny, "You know the song?"

Benny, who was sitting vertical from Dean, chuckled and nodded at that, "I wasn't born yesterday brother." He replied before sucking down a good 1/4th of his beer. "But I believe Led Zeppelin is your band, shouldn't ya be singin' that?"

So that was their game plan? Dean was considering the idea of cutting his two brothers, one in actual blood and the other through war, out of his life. Letting out a small sigh followed by a grunt in defeat, he decided against it; no need to be a pre-teen about this.

Clearing his throat and spending a nodding towards Benny he started the first chords before letting the words be pulled out of him like whiskey from a bottle of Jack.

 _And if I say to you tomorrow._   
_Take my hand, child, come with me._   
_It's to a castle I will take you,_   
_where what's to be,_   
_they say will be._

Dean's love for Led Zepplin was the only reason he didn't hear or see the screen door to the kitchen open, or how Castiel, Jess and Zepp walked out towards the campfire. That is, until the song was past it's second round of the chorus.

That was when Castiel sat next to him and Dean just had to look up and well, if his fingers fucked up on the chords he was too busy staring at Cas to pay any attention to that.

See, there's this thing about Cas that Dean never knew, not until this very moment because apparently Cas needed glasses and had been using contacts this entire time. Naughty librarian jumped into Dean's brain before he could stop it. He couldn't help with, not with Castiel's bright cerulean eyes rimmed with the black of the glasses, making them pop. Dean could just imaging bending over him on the return cart at work and fuck-

"Novak, I didn't know you wear glasses." Bobby's voice was that of a savior to Dean's mind, as it was perfectly willing to continue with its current train of thought and damn that'd be bad.

"I usually try to use contacts." Castiel replied, his eyes locked on Dean's face even when Dean kept trying to stare into the fire and not look at the other agent's unknowingly sinful face. "But I had been wearing those contacts longer than I should. The smoke just added to the agitation." He clarified as he finally turned towards Bobby giving him a small but guarded smile.

Bobby nodded and knocked back the rest of his beer at that, and everyone brought the hum of conversation back once the lull of silence started to appear. Dean went back to plucking the chords of Led Zeppelin once again once this happened but he couldn't stop himself from peering over at Castiel. It was like a nervous twitch or some shit like that because he honestly didn't intend to look over, it just sort of happened.

Castiel was framed by two things at the moment, the warm lights from the fire and the darkness of night that pooled around them like a blanket.

Every time he thought he understood the true beauty of Castiel's facial features something like this would happen, completely redefining them. The light from the fire bounced off the rim of Cas' glasses and fire danced on the lenses and Dean was completely lost in thought. Just swimming around in the wonders of how Castiel's features, Dean's eyes traveled more south where his partner's features seemed to soften. His collarbone was already curved and perfect without the light from the fire but with the warm hues it seemed like a silk blanket, skin falling into low dips that Dean was convinced would taste amazing against his tongue. How his chest seemed to meld in with his shirt and how Dean's fingers itched to just rip the damn shirt off and see the expanse of Castiel's body under this light, the presumably flat plains of his chest and the goose bumps that were destined to appear when the night air touched his sweet skin.

Dean really needed to start bringing his camera whenever he was with Castiel because Dean's brain was starting to fear that one day he'd forget this. This perfect expanse of skin, how the light danced off of Castiel's eyes and how he smiled all gums every once and awhile whenever something really tickled his fancy. The most terrifying thing however was that there might be one day when Castiel would leave his life and ever so slowly Dean would forget him, forget everything about him. And then finally, one day, forget that Castiel even existed and that was not allowed to happen.

Suddenly killing his own buzz he turned away from Castiel and placed the guitar down. Placing both hands on his knees he pushed himself up and off of his sitting position and declared, "Hate to be the old man in this group but I better be hitting the road."

Zepp looked up at Dean with a look of pure unamusement but Dean just gave it right back. She silently stood up and padded her way over to Sam, nuzzling her face happily into his hand when he pet her head in goodbye.

Seeing at the party was breaking up Benny stood as well, "I think I better be headin' back to my hotel room also. Besides I think I'm blockin' your exit." He gave a small smile towards Dean which he returned half heartedly, Dean knew he really shouldn't feel bad for bringing Benny here but honestly, everyone had given him the cold shoulder, all but Jess and Andy.

* * *

Dean said his goodbyes and hugged those he was willing and patted those on the back he didn't before heading out. Walking to his car with Zepp in toe he heard Cas speak up behind him.

"I should probably also be leaving as well as I have plans for tomorrow." Cas must have just given everyone a wave and maybe a quick thank you to Sam and Jess because the next thing Dean knew Cas was beside him; silent little fucker.

"Dean." He muttered lowly, walking closer to Dean before continuing, "I would like to thank you for inviting me to this event."

Dean snorted in amusement and shook his head as he leaned against his car. "Man, I don't know. They're so noisy."

Cas smiled at that and shook his head. "No more than my sister." He reached into his flannel and pulled out a pack of cigarettes that Dean hadn't even noticed before. Sticking the cigarette between his lips Castiel patted his pockets to try and find his lighter or matches or whatever he lit his cigarettes with.

Dean, feeling this subconscious kick, opened the front door, reached the way across to open the glove box and bring out the lighter. Tossing the small box on the driver's side he held the zippo out for Castiel to take and when the other agent didn't Dean sighed. "Look man, just use it."

Castiel's eyes studied Dean's face for another moment before taking the lighter from his fingers like it was the most precious thing in the world. "Thank you Dean." Cas grounded out as he pulled the lighter closer to his cigarette and thumbed the wheel to start the flint.

Once the cigarette was lit Cas closed the lid and handed it over gingerly to Dean, as if he'd break the thing or he held it in great respect. Dean reached back into the car and placed the lighter into it's box before turning to Cas, "It's not a problem Cas, you're not going to run away with it." He smiled before he could help it, "I'll see you around." Zepp, having impeccable timing, now jumped onto the driver's seat, patting her way to the passenger's seat before settling down.

Dean swung into his car and rolled down his window because Castiel looked like he wanted to say something. A second later Cas finally spoke up, "Good bye Dean." And with that he walked to his car.

* * *

Dean stayed in the driveway a while after Benny and Cas had pulled away but he was on a mission so damn it all to hell.

With the overhead light on and a box of cassettes splayed out over his lap Dean was looking for one tape in particular.

Dean had never really been into female singers but he knew his mother had loved this singer when she was alive so there had to be at least one cassette of her's.

Dean let out a little sound in triumph when he found exactly what he was looking for:

_**The Greats of Janis Joplin: Mixtape** _

Dean smiled at the faded writing on the little piece of black plastic, it was his mom's hand writing and that's why no one had dared write over the faded title in new ink.

Dean hadn't listened to Janis Joplin since he was four, she was practically banned from his house when his mother died, along with The Beatles (unless his father was drinking, than The Beatles was all he'd hear for the rest of the night).

Taking in a deep breath he slid the cassette into the player and pulled out of the driveway, making his way home to the soft callings of Janis Joplin and her sweet melodies.

 _Cry baby, cry baby, cry baby,_   
_Honey, welcome back home._

If Agent Castiel Novak was the only thing Dean could think about as he raced down the highway towards home and his empty bed, well, not even Zepp knew that because she was fast asleep in the passenger seat. And that was perfectly fine with Dean.

* * *

Dean got home at around 9:30. He climbed the stairs into the apartment building, taking the elevator up with Zepp by his side. Finally walking into his apartment Dean flicked on the lights, padding around for awhile before changing into his pajamas and trying to fall asleep.

That wasn't going to happen. Dean just had gotten comfortable when his phone buzzed next to his head. Groaning and considering to not read the text his curiousity got the better of him and he decided that he would just check it.

Rolling over and fumbling with the phone he turned the screen on and his heart dropped. Maybe Cas didn't mean it, maybe it meant nothing; but what Dean just read sped his heart up to a roar.

 

March 8, 2013, 10:23 PM

I was unsure if I should ask  
you this at the party but   
would you consider giving me   
a list of recommended songs?

I am getting tired of the ones   
I am currently listening to.

-Cas

 

It wasn't that Castiel was asking something extremely meaningful (well okay, for Dean music was an emotional outlet and therefore gravely important but still) it was the fact that for the while that Dean had known Cas his signature had always been '-Novak' and all of a sudden it was '-Cas'?

Was their friendship facebook official?

He snorted at that, there was no way Cas had a facebook and since Dean didn't find the purpose of owning one so he'd never know. Maybe he'd get facebook-whore Sammy to check it out but then Sam would pick on him... so that was out.

But, the more and more Dean spent looking at that freaking text, the more and more his heartbeat picked up.

Dean was suddenly grateful that Zepp had crashed on the couch. Dean stood up and stumbled over to the bedroom door, shutting that one and then the second bathroom door leading to the living room.

With that set, Dean texted Cas back,

 

March 8, 2013, 10:28 PM

Yeah sure, I'm going to bed  
right now but I'll send you a list   
tomorrow since I'm off and have   
nothing to do. Alright?   
Good night Cas.

 

March 8, 2013, 10:29 PM

Thank you Dean, sorry for   
disturbing you.   
Good night and sleep well.

-Cas

 

Yeah fuck you too Cas, there was no way he'd get to sleep now. Tossing his phone onto his bedside table, he rolled over to try and get some sleep.

* * *

When Dean finally did fall asleep his dreams kept up the most recent recurring theme; Castiel.

Dean was convinced he was reverting back into his teenage self. No way dreams should involved this much cute feelings and sexy moments at the same time, it wasn't natural.

But here it was, Dean's dreams of Cas coming to his apartment, soaking wet, telling Dean he was kicked out of his apartment by Glen because he wanted to break up with him. And Dean, being a good partner and friend, was Castiel's only choice of refuge. Dean would offer Castiel some of his clothing and a warm shower to which Cas would accept. Dean would spend a good portion of his dream fretting about how dirty his apartment was and how he looked. Than Cas would walk out in Dean's old sweats and an old AC/DC shirt and Dean would completely forget to care about himself because Cas was standing there, in his clothing, his hair still dripping slightly.

Dean and Cas would watch stupid movies that Dean loved, The Star Wars Series, Lord of the Rings, Indiana Jones, whatever, but half way through Dean would look over at Cas and the other man would just have turned to say something or smile at Dean. Cas would always look so damn happy and Dean just wasn't able to control himself.

This is when Dean's subconscious made give him the green light, where Dean could let himself go and completely fall into the other man, pushing his body against the wall and rutting their warm masses together until Cas was panting, begging for Dean to stop the teasing.

Dean would ignore the pleas as always, and continue his marking of Castiel. Biting at his collarbone until this skin was an irritated red, finding that place on Castiel's rib cage that allowed Dean to feel the speeding heartbeat and claw his fingers over it causing Castiel to freaking groan and god damn it. He wanted Cas, there was never ever anything in his life that he wanted more.

He'd always scream that to himself in his head as they fitted their bodies together in perfect shapes on Dean's bed, when Dean could cause those pink lips to turn red, when Dean could cause Castiel's body to shake and quiver under him.

But whenever Dean awoke he realized that he didn't deserve Cas, not in the slightest, so in his dreams he got to be free and just accept everything. He understood that this was only a dream, that it'd never be this perfect in real life, or that it'd be even more amazing. He was never sure and he pushed those thoughts away in exchange to listen to Castiel's moans as he sank himself into Cas, feeling the man's warmth all around him as he steered them both into pleasured madness.

* * *

Dean awoke to a sticky bed and a hole the size of Texas in his heart. Groaning slightly from just all the pure nastiness of this morning Dean rolled out of bed and stripped his clothing until his was bucknaked. Realizing that he should probably do his laundry Dean removed the sheets from his bed and placed them by the door. Making a small pit stop in the bathroom to clean himself he threw on new boxers, pants and his favorite AC/DC shirt. Which totally wasn't sentimental about something that didn't even happen.

Right?

Dean ignored his own question, opting for cleaning up his dirty clothing and wrapping them up in his soiled sheets. Holding the makeshift bag Dean heads towards the door, calling out for his pup, "Zepp come on."

The german shepard looked up from her resting place and jumped off the couch to come next to him. They headed downstairs together via the elevator, stopping on the basement level where they walked down the white bricked hallway and made the left into the laundry room.

It was a simple room, white painted brick walls with a crap table pushed into the left corner for free things. The other two walls had washers and driers lining them, some already working on their days work. Throwing all his clothing into one machine (except his white work shirts because he wasn't stupid) Dean fed the machines, starting two of them before leaning against them as they filled with water.

He needed to do something today, anything, to keep him from getting depressive. He decided that his best bet was to hang out with Benny since he was in town. Yeah, he'd do that.

* * *

After walking Zepp and going upstairs he reached for his phone and texted Benny, asking him if he was busy. As always, Benny texted him right back telling him that he was free until two in the afternoon since he had a court case at that time. They made plans to hang out and Dean went back downstairs to deal with his laundry as he waited.

He had just changed all the washed clothing over to dryers when his phone chipped to tell him Benny was there.

Heading over to the steel door that led to the alley, Dean propped open the door and texted Benny to come in while he was working on his clothing.

After setting the machines to their proper drying time he turned around to see Benny walking in.

"Hey brother." Benny grinned as he leaned against the white brick wall.

"Hey Benny."

Benny was wearing his average causal clothing, the light blue henley with the long navy pea coat and blue ship captain hat. Dean was convinced that if Benny wasn't in the FBI business he'd be a sailor like his Pops.

"Ya doing your own laundry? Well how domestic of you." Benny teased as Dean walked over to him and shook his head.

"Thanks Benny, thanks." The other agent laughed and shook his head.

"Oh ya know it's all for fun."

"Yeah I know."

* * *

Once Dean’s clothing was dried and the white shirts were hung up, they headed upstairs to put the clothing away. After that was done and Zepp was fed they actually decided what they were going to do.

“Ya know any good bars around?”

“Benny,” Dean gave him a skeptical look, “You have to go to court today and it’s like” he looked at his phone “eleven in the morning.”

Benny shrugged, giving Dean an all knowing smile, “Yeah but it’s not like we have to go get drunk, they have to have pool.”

Dean nodded at that, realizing that he might just have the perfect place. “Yeah there’s this place downtown called Jesse’s and they’re like that. They got these amazing burgers as well.”

“Well it sounds like we got ourselves a plan.”

“Roger that.”

* * *

They piled into separate cars since Benny would probably have to leave right from the bar and made their way towards Jesse’s. Dean wondered if this was some subconscious thing to be close to Castiel even if it was just a place that the other man visited.

He didn’t want to think on that.

He parked Baby on the side of the bar, to hide her beauty from the cruel sun, and walked out towards the door where Benny was waiting.

They walked into the nearly empty bar and Benny whistled, “It’s noon on a Sunday, where are all the sinners at?”

A laugh like a crystal bell came from behind the two men, somewhere near the shabby jukebox located in the corner. Dean knew that laugh, he had been to Jesse’s way too many times for him not to know it.

“Pamela.” Dean smiled to himself as the curly haired woman walked out of the dim lights and over to them, hugging Dean (and taking a grab at his ass as always).

Pamela laughed and looked at Benny, “Hey big boy.” She grinned wolfishly in her normal flirtatious way and Dean couldn’t help himself but look at her left hand, which remained bare.

“Hey Pamela,” He started, looking up at her bright eyes, “Is Gabriel around?”

That caught Pamela by surprise but she recovered quickly, “Yeah baby, he’s in the kitchen torturing Ash.” She thumbed her hand towards the swinging door. “Want me to go get him?”

“Oh hell no.” Dean smiled sheepishly while Pamela laughed a good belly laugh, her face relaxed.

“He is one hell of a firecracker ain’t he?” She said, her eyes going soft as she turned towards the kitchen door quickly before turning back to Dean and Benny. “Why don’t you two boys go sit down?”

Dean nodded at that and starting towards the high set bar they settled down. Taking advantage of being the only ones at the bar Benny leaned over and asked lowly, “Who’s Gabriel?”

“Castiel’s older brother and her fiancé.”

“Oh.”

There was a pause as they both got comfortable in their seats, Benny taking off his jacket and hat as Dean stared over the counter towards the liquor shelf.

“You really are close to your new partner aren’t ya? You know his family and he’s been to your family gatherings all within the first couple days.” It was almost just a statement, a rhetorical question. Almost, but Dean knew it really wasn’t.

So he shrugged, “Not really, it’s all vague information. I’ve only met Gabriel, not his sister or little brother and none of his extended family."

"But cha' know their names and how many of them there are, don't you?"

"Maybe." Dean shifted uncomfortably.

Benny just shook his head and sighed, "Dean, I know you pay attention to things but ya' never pay that much attention to someone."

"So?"

To that Benny just gave Dean a look before Pamela made it impossible for them to carry this conversation any farther and Dean was grateful, so, so grateful.

"So you boys decide on what'cha getting?"

Benny nodded, "Yeah, I'll be gettin' a bloody mary." Pamela nodded and turned more towards Dean for his order.

"Two shots of Jack." Dean said, holding two fingers up out of habit.

"I know babe." She smiled cheekily as she pour Dean's drink and placed them in front of him before starting on Benny's.

Dean waited until Benny had the drink in his hand before downing one of his two shots. Feeling the warmth heat up his heart and slowly spread to his fingertips he smiled to himself. So he liked whiskey, it wasn't a bad thing. Nope.

* * *

 

They talked about useless shit for a good five minutes before anything traumatic happened. Of course in Dean's life when the traumatic happens it happens with a huge bang. Literally.

The kitchen door swung open as Gabriel swept into the room, his arms out as if this was some kind of game show. "Deano!" He called with a grin, strutting over to them. Pamela must have informed Gabriel that Dean was here. She wasn't getting a tip this time. Dean sighed and thumbed his second shot, wondering to take it now or later; he decided on later.

"Gabriel." Dean grumbled out dismay, he didn't need this shit. Gabriel however, didn't seem to care that Dean didn't want his company as he sprawled his arms over the counter with his hands a connecting point under his chin.

"So how was your Saturday with my little bro, kiddo?"

Dean groaned inwardly. "It was fine." He didn't want to give any information, that wasn't Dean's personality.

Gabriel, sensing this, smirked and scooted himself closer. "Did you guys hold hands? Did you promenade? Tango maybe?"

Benny couldn't contain himself at that, openly spurting out his drink before hacking up a lung and laughing his big booming laugh.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at that and looked at Benny, "What's his issue?" When Dean didn't answer Gabriel turned his face back to Benny. "Were you there?" Benny just nodded, grinning while Dean regretted this entire conversation.

Gabriel's eyes lit up, "Oh my, good! Another outside source!" He grinned happily, holding his hand out to Benny who shook it, "Gabriel Novak."

Once Benny was done dying on his drink he shook Gabriel's hand, "Benny Lafitte." Gabriel seemed a bit taken aback by this and shit, were they going to get kicked out?

"Thee Benny Lafitte from the New York FBI Bureau?" Benny's smile died on his face.

But Benny held his head high, nodding slowly, watching Gabriel with a guarded expression. "Yeah that's me." Benny's voice while finalized but Gabriel didn't seem to care.

"Hey Babe!" He called over his shoulder so Pamela's head popped out of the kitchen.

"Yeah dumbass?" She teased, a smile at her lips.

"This guy," He pointed at Benny, "Gets free drinks whenever he comes here."

Well that was a surprise.

"Wait what?" Dean blinked, looking at the shocked Benny to the cocky Gabriel. Gabriel just shrugged, as if it was nothing.

"I know what this guys been through. Did it myself basically a couple years back." Be gestured dismissively to Dean at that, "Of course you know all about that."

Dean did, well no, he knew some of it. He kept meaning to ask Castiel for the story but it felt weird. Benny was obviously about to ask Dean that "what story" question when Gabriel stood up and swung around.

"Welp! It seems like it's my time to juice Ash up, he's only smart when he's drunk!" He teased, grabbing a six pack of beer and heading into the kitchen.

* * *

Dean had gone to the bathroom at around one and when he had come out Benny had been talking to Gabriel. When Dean had neared the boys seemed to be talking about court times so he didn't bother trying to get invested. But when Gabriel left Benny and Dean continued to talk about Benny's court, along with the decisions and changes that would happen if he was convicted. That lasted until about 1:30 before they noticed Pamela walking out of the kitchen with purpose towards the juke box.

"Sorry babes." She said as she started to skirt through the music choices with her index finger. "Gabriel got a song stuck in my head. And it just isn't coming out." Letting out a soft 'ah-ha' Pamela clicked a button. Watching the vinyl drop and start to spin she started her way back to the kitchen.

Dean knew exactly what Pamela was playing before the rusted speakers broke out into Janis Joplin. This woman was going to haunt him everywhere.

 _There's a light, certain kinda light,_   
_Never ever, never shone on me, no, no._   
_Honey, I want, I want my whole life_   
_To be lived with you, babe,_   
_That's what I want oh, was to be_   
_Living and loving you._

"I think that's my cue to leave." Benny mumbled, pulling himself off of his stool, swinging his coat on and flipping the Captain's hat on with ease. "I'll text you the results, brother." he nodded once to Dean before turning and leaving Dean so fast Dean's head almost span. Something was up, something he had to have missed. Benny didn't even have a burger.

Sure enough, as soon as Benny left the bar and Dean was considering leaving the doors burst open and none other than Castiel rushed in. "Gabriel what is the-" He cut himself off at the sight of Dean, staring at him like he hadn't seen him ever before. "Dean." He cleared his throat, his eyes shifting towards the jukebox and back at Dean with such wide eyes Dean thought he had three heads and was tempted to check and make sure he didn't.

 _Oh honey, I wanna talk about love_   
_And trying to hold somebody_   
_The way I love you babe,_   
_And I've been loving you babe._

"Hey Cas." Dean smiled softly, if a little unsure. This was way too right for it to be not be planned. Cas returned the smile before walking over to Dean and plopping himself down next to his partner.

"I am guessing that Gabriel was lying about the fire in the kitchen I'm assuming." Then Cas did something unexpected, he reached over the bar and pulled out the Jack Daniel's with ease. Quickly reaching over with slender fingers Cas plucked Dean's old shot glass out from in front of his partner, pouring himself a glass.

"Why would you say that?" Dean's throat started to dry. Castiel knew his way around this bar, that was obvious but his fucking wrists. How did Dean never notice that before? How slender they were, how delicate and how the paled skin pulled over them perfectly. They just screamed to be kissed.

"Well, there's no smoke for one" He smirked at the pink that appears upon Dean's face. "But largely because Janis is playing." Cas admitted, "Whenever he does something to me Janis is usually playing." Dean's face must have gone to  one of confusion because Cas elaborated. "In high school, Gabriel took my car and drew a huge dick on the side of it with car paint." He shrugged and all Dean could think about was how Cas had just said 'dick' and it was possibly the sexiest thing he had ever heard. "I was so mad but he was at work at the time so there was nothing I could do. So when i turned on my car my speakers blasted Ball and Chain." He seemed to be a little sheepish at this, "I was so startled I ended up getting a black eye. Don't ask how."

Was Cas blushing? Holy shit he was adorable when he blushed. A shit eating grin plasters itself on his face, "Well, no offence Cas, but I feel like your car would be blasting Janis Joplin even if he hadn't drawn cocks on your car." Castiel's eyes flashed something and his eyes flicked down to Dean's lips before taking a quick shot of whiskey.

"Nah, that week was a Death Cab for Cutie week." He mumbled, his fingers circling the rim of the shot glass.

Dean dropped the conversation in favor for watching Castiel's index finger trail in the left over dew of whiskey surrounding the glass. It was amazed Dean the grace Cas had in the smallest movements, getting off a chair, holding a pen, circling a shot glass, it didn't matter the man had grace no matter what. This was something Dean sadly didn't possess.

* * *

How long they stayed there, Dean didn't know. How long he stared at Castiel, watching him like he was some religious enigma, he had no idea. If Dean had looked up maybe he would have seen the color change in Castiel's eyes as he watched Dean's freckled face. But Dean didn't look up, so he missed it all, the little lip lick, the little bite at the edge of the lips.

What Dean didn't miss however, was when Gabriel burst into the room flourishing a newly baked pie. "Look the kitchen was on fire and it produced a pie!" He sang, twirling stupidly over to them.

For some odd reason, Castiel flushed a red and wouldn't look over at Dean at all. Gabriel ignored this fact and placed the fresh pie down in front of Dean. As soon as he did Dean could smell the freaking awesome aroma of apple pie that whisked off of it. "Oh god." He almost groaned, leaning closer to his own little flaky heaven. "How did you know my favorite was apple pie?"

"A little blue birdy told me." Gabriel said, and then yelped when something was thrown at him. Dean had missed what it was, but when he turned to look at Cas the man was exactly in the same spot so it couldn't have been him... even if Gabriel was eyeing him warily.

"Ah." Dean said losing his interest in this 'little blue birdy' for the time to focus on the little round god he had in front of him. Without meaning to his stomach rumbled, but then again, Dean hadn't had anything to eat in awhile.

"Well it's not going to eat itself Winchester." Gabriel teased, holding out two forks for him and Cas. Dean grabbed both forks happily as Gabriel went about getting two tall glasses of beer for them. With nothing more to say Gabriel gave the two a little salute, disappearing into the kitchen as Dean handed Cas his fork.

"That was slightly random." commented Dean around a mouth of pie.

Castiel watched Dean's face carefully and nodded slowly, "That's my brother." he mumbled, his eyes not leaving Dean's chipmunk face. "I should check it for cherry bombs."

Dean stopped chewing.

"That was sarcasm Dean."

Dean started to chew again as Castiel rolled his eyes. He knew that the little glint in Castiel's eyes that meant he was smiling on the inside. And that was good enough for Dean.

After a moment of stuffing his face he moved the pie between the two of them so they could both fork it down.

Which they did, together.

* * *

By the time the pie was done both of them were pretty sure that was the worst decision in their insignificant lives. Dean groaned, "I think I have to kill myself."

Castiel placed his head on the counter and nodded dumbly. "Why did we eat the whole thing?" he mumbled and Dean actually had the answer to that.

"Because it was so worth it."

"It was."

The room filled with silence, no one else was at the bar, not at three in the afternoon on a Sunday. "We should probably go." Dean suggested, swinging around on the stool with a lot more difficulty than a couple of hours ago.

"I second that motion." Castiel said, removing himself from his own sitting place with that damn grace he had, even when he looked like a fat cat removing itself from the windowsill after a cat nap in the sun.

They made their way out of Jesse's and towards the parking lot where Dean stopped, he didn't see Castiel's Oldsmoblie.

"Cas?"

"mmmhmm Dean?" Cas was distracted by his food belly and the fact he was trying to find his pack and lighter. Which were in his jeans pocket.

"Where's your car?"

Cas looked up then, pack in one hand and lighter in the other. "I walked here."

Dean couldn't believe it. "You walked like fourteen blocks?"

Nodding, Cas looked at Dean like it was no big deal, "I jog this in the mornings before work normally."

Oh jesus, his legs were probably made of gold.

"Well," Dean started, suddenly feeling really awkward and very much like himself when he was a teenager. "I have the rest of the Star Wars movies and nothing else to do today. Want to come over?"

Castiel actually smiled, he smiled that all-gums smile, where his eyes would crinkle and become like two blue specks of diamond against his rough skin. "I think I would enjoy that very much."

That's how they ended up both in Dean's car, listening to Ball and Chain on their way to Dean's as Castiel smoked a cigarette out the window and Dean watched him out of the corner of his eye.

* * *

They climbed out of the car five minutes later and made their way up to Dean's apartment via the stairs since it'd help settle their stomachs. Dean mentioned in passing how he normally took the stairs because the elevator had shit service and Cas nodded, telling him that older buildings often had horrible service.

Besides that, they really didn't talk until they got to Dean's apartment. The silence between the two wasn't awkward, after all, nothing needed to be said.

However, as soon as they were in the white wash halls Dean remembered that this was his first time ever having Castiel over at his apartment and for some reason that really freaked him out.

Did he clean up all his clothing? His bed had new sheets, right? He put them on before he and Benny left... right? Did he do the dishes? Did he clean the bathroom? Was there porno mags like Busy Asian Beauties and G. Magazine lying around? No, right? Benny would have commented about the the display of tits or dick either way.

Dean kept silently fretting until they got to his place and he unlocked the door. Walking in to apartment he made a quick sweep with his eyes. Ok, it was all good.

"Welp, this is my bat cave." He teased, moving aside and gesturing to the place. Castiel walked in like it was some sacred land or some shit, like anything he touched could break. He looked to the left where Dean's bedroom was located and than to the right where the living room and kitchen were located. Zepp looked up from the couch, huffed and nuzzled her face into the pillows more, totally disinterested in the two agents. His walls were covered in his nerd life. Behind the couch was his Star Wars poster of Yoda, because in all honesty, who the fuck can hate Yoda?

Next to Yoda was a more rare poster, some tattoo artist in Pennsylvania gave it to Dean when Dean expressed his ever loving want for the Lord of the Rings, elvish writing on his person before he died. It was a custom drawing of Mount Doom, all sketched and grey scale except for the shaded light from The Red Eye of Soromon, which was all reds and yellows.

Ok, so Dean was a major nerd, so what? If you love something you shown it off in your pad,right?

On the left side of the wall, between the door to the small walk in area and the door to the bathroom was Dean's beautiful flat screen, surrounded by a tv center filled with DVDs, blu-ray disks, and his nice ass speakers. There was also a picture of his father and mother the year his dad came back from the war. It was one of Dean's personal favorites, what with his dad looking at Mary Winchester like she was the fucking sun and he revolved around her and anything she wished him to do.

It hurt to think on them, so it hurt even more when that was what Castiel seemed to gravitate towards. He spent a good moment looking at the two before turning slightly to Dean with a curious look, "These are your parents?"

Dean nodded and started to uselessly clean. "Yeah, when he got back from the war."

Cas nodded and pointed to John Winchester's flannel pocket. "I can see the lighter's outline."

Damn, eyes of a fucking eagle.

Dean chuckled, nodding slightly. Having no use of himself, Dean walked over next to Cas. "Yeah." He tipped his body towards the other man to hit Castiel's shoulder with his own. "Told you it had a past."

Cas tore his eyes away from the old photo to look at Dean with those eyes, those soul searching ones Dean was sure were going to kill him one of these days. "I never doubted you Dean." Dean couldn't even sense a hint of doubt in that sentence and now he really wanted to sit down.

But he didn't, because he was a strong, independent FBI Agent that didn't need no man.

Wow, Becky needed to stop sending him memes on his phone. They were starting to infect his subconscious.

Dean’s lips curled up slightly in what he hoped was a convincing manner and turned his attention towards his large collections of pretty much every classic movie to grace man. “Now,” He tapped at his collection of just the first three movies and then slid his pointer finger over to the second box set. “Do you want to watch just the good movies or watch all of them for the info?”

* * *

Dean wasn’t sure how it happened, but they stayed together the entire night. At six they got up from their little nest on the couch and walked Zepp who wasn’t really in the mood for a walk so that ended quickly. They fed her (Dean showed Cas the proper way to feed her) and then they ordered delivery pizza; which arrived about half way through Return of the Jedi.

By the time that move was over both of them were stuffed again, just this time on pizza. Sprawled out on the couch both of them were comfortable, but Dean noticed Castiel’s slight fidgeting, just because he was being a good partner of course. Yawning, Dean stretched slightly,  “You okay Cas?”

The other man tore his eyes from the tv and nodded, “Yes. I just…”

“Need a cigarette?” Dean finished for him. Dean had grown up with a smoker, and had smoked himself. It wasn’t rocket science.

“Yes.” Cas sighed, resting his head on the back of the couch and frowned. Dean shrugged and pointed to the window. “Go ahead.”

Castiel blinked and turned more of his attention onto Dean, “Isn’t this a no smoking building?”

“So?” Dean retorted with a shrug.

Castiel’s spotlight eyes locked with Dean’s before he slowly nodded, “Alright.” He muttered, standing up and heading towards the window.

Zepp’s head popped up in interest as the windows were ever only open during the summer nights when the air conditioner was broken. So as soon as she realized what Castiel was doing she pulled herself out of her little curl on the carpet and trotted over.

Cas removed the screen from the window, placing it besides the sill before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his cigarettes. Using his god given fingers, Castiel removed a slender cigarette along with his lighter from the packaging that protected them. Placing the cigarette between his cracked lips he brought the lighter up with his other hand up for protective and flicked the wheel, causing the flame.

Taking a nice long drag Cas looked over the streets and the lights. “You have a quiet neighborhood.” He commented, looking back at Dean before turning once again towards the window to blow the smoke out of his lungs.

Dean paused the movie and laughed, shaking his head faintly. “Oh hell no.” He snorted, “This place is a hell hole sometimes.” When Castiel gave him an odd look he was doomed to explain. “Look, I love this place, I really do. But sometimes the road is closed off because the President wants to pick up his girls from school and then there’s a fire station right down the road that goes off at all hours of the night. I’ve gotten used to it but it still sucks sometimes.”

“I can see how that would create discomfort.” Cas admitted, turning his face back towards the city. “But still,” He mused, almost to himself, “It is a nice place to live.”

Silence fell between the two men as Cas finished his cigarette and Dean happened to totally not stare at him as Zepp nuzzled her head on Castiel’s lap. He didn't watch at all as Cas' free hand comforted the lazy puppy. And he totally did not feel the walls around his heart cracking under the pressure of one Castiel Novak.

Once Cas was finished with his cigarette he placed the screen back, closing the window afterwards. The room filled with the beautiful scent of lingering tobacco and fresh air. Dean decided he always wanted his apartment to smell like this, well with some more pie.

* * *

Dean didn’t know how it happened, like at all.

Cas had decided after The Return of the Jedi that he wanted to watch the others; even if it was just for the information intake. Dean could tell that he was actually interested in the storyline and that he cracked a smile a couple times (it was hard _not_  to notice the way Castiel’s eyes lit up when Han Solo and Princess Leia where together). So it really wasn’t their fault that they stayed up until one in the morning when they were watching Revenge of the Sith.

As Dean started to drop his eyelids, his cheek resting against the soft hair on Castiel’s head, he just couldn’t help but be thankful that Castiel would miss Padmé’s death, because he had a feeling that’d be traumatic for Castiel.

When Dean woke up at five, four hours later he found that he and Castiel had moved around in their sleep. Dean vaguely remembered shifting slightly, his back being pressed into the couch but what shocked him was the closeness of Castiel, who’s entire front was pressed into Dean’s chest. Dean’s chin rested on the mused light brown hair that belonged to Castiel, watching as his hair moved slightly as Dean breathed in and out.

At first Dean didn’t believe what was happening to him, at all. He was probably dreaming since this happened so often in his mind. Except in his dreams Castiel's hair was never this soft, in his dreams his breath was never this warm on his skin, in his dreams Castiel was never this comforting in weight.

Fuck him sideways, this wasn't a dream.

Now Dean was panicking, truly freaking a shit. And for the first time in years, Dean's old teenage panic started to kick in, sending his heart rate skyrocketing.

This must have woken Castiel up because the next minute the other man's legs started to shift in between Dean's. If Dean hadn't been panicking he would have enjoyed the touch, the slide of skin on skin as Castiel's jeans had been pushed up during slumber. But he couldn't, so he didn't.

Castiel mumbled against Dean's chest, vaguely sounding liked "what time is it Dean?" Dean, trying his best not to spring off of the couch looked over at the DVD player.

"5:20." He muttered into Castiel's hair, because he refused to move even an inch, even in his panic.

"I should get home. Work starts soon."

"It does." Dean agreed silently, regretting the instant that the body heat from Castiel was removed from his. Cas stood up and fixed himself and god damnit now that Dean's heart wasn't panicking as bad as before he was able to appreciate the drowsiness of Castiel in the mornings.

Castiel's baby blues were half lidded and he looked like a tired puppy, too groggy to really drive or do anything but lie around and enjoy coffee or really intimate sex. Realizing one of these things was actually possible, Dean stood up and went to the kitchen. "Cas, before you go let me make you a cup of coffee. You look like you're about to fall over buddy."

Dean heard the dull thump of Castiel laying back down on the couch and 'hmm' in response to Dean's suggestion. It was weird Dean decided, that while he had a panic attack only a few minutes ago that they could be so freaking domestic.

Leaning over the counter Dean calmed himself down even more, realizing that it was totally an accident, he hadn't gotten a boner that night and everything was completely normal.

This is what normal friends in their late 20s and early 30s did together. Except he got creeped out thinking about ever doing that with Benny, or Becky even if she was a woman.

But with Cas, it was acceptable.

* * *

The coffee was ready in five minutes, Dean poured himself a cup and Castiel an even larger one.The coffee would have been handed to Castiel right that moment but Dean put some time into it by making it the way he thought Castiel liked it.

"Hey Cas." He whispered as he approached the sleeping agent sprawled out on his couch. "I got you coffee."

Castiel groaned into the sofa cushions and held out a hand blindly to grab the cup, slightly skirting on Dean's leg when he over reached the cup. Castiel didn't seem to notice so Dean pushed down the warmth in his gut.

"I'm thinking I'll get ready really quick and take you over to your place and then drive us both over, sound good?" Dean's mind had randomly came up with the idea and while Dean just kinda blurted it out, it sounded good enough and a friendly thing to do.

"Ok Dean." Cas muttered as he brought the coffee cup closer to the couch and his mouth but not fully actually drinking it yet.

However, with Castiel's promise that he wouldn't run off while Dean was getting ready, Dean booked it into his bedroom, closing the door and shimming his clothing off. Throwing his suit onto the the bed and running over to the bathroom he realized he didn't close the bathroom door. Luckily for him Castiel was just now showing signs of life as he sat up, facing towards the kitchen in a blurry state of consciousness.

Closing the door quietly Dean jumped into the freezing shower, effectively killing anything that could grow and waking him up a lot more than the coffee.

He was out in a mere matter of minutes, dressed and ready to go with Zepp's collar in hand when he turned to witness Castiel staring at the couch.

"You okay Cas?" Dean asked, breaking through the silence of the apartment. Castiel whirled around and stared at Dean and for a moment Dean was terrified that Castiel was going to tell him that no, everything was not okay and that he was going to ask for a bureau change.

Instead of that Cas nodded, "Yes, I'm fine Dean. I just have not slept on a couch in a long time but your's is the most comfortable."

Dean wasn't sure if that was a cover up or not because he viewed his couch as the best mother fucker in the whole world. "Yeah, half the time I wonder if it's more comfortable than my bed." Castiel smiled at that and drank down the rest of the coffee.

* * *

They headed down to the car with Zepp on their heels. When they all clammered into the car the first thing Castiel did was roll down the window and light a cigarette. "Got into that habit mhmm?" Dean asked as he pulled out of his parking spot and started to make his way towards where he believed Castiel's apartment to be around.

Cas hummed in confirmation as he took another puff, "It was an accident, I realized my junior year that it usually wakes me up better than coffee and it kinda just stuck and now it's a habit I can't break."

Dean laughed quietly at that, "Well smoking all together is a habit that's hard to quit."

Castiel looked over then, seeing parts of Dean no one else could, "Did you smoke Dean?" It was almost not even a question as if Cas already knew the answer but wanted to ask formally.

"For a couple years, yeah." He admitted, "My old man used to smoke like I told you and when I was 18 he took me out to get my first pack." He shrugged, remembering that freaking freezing January morning when he piled into his father's car and they drove to the convenience store and Dean got a pack of Marlboro blacks. "I smoked till I was 21. Quiet when I met someone. Regretted it the moment she dumped me." He shrugged and looked out over the road.

"You wish to start again?" Cas was interested now but Dean shook his head.

"I've always had this feeling that one of these days I'll start again, that I'll get that shaky feeling you know? I'm just waiting for that time."

Cas nodded at that and let the conversation drop, admitting the sounds of cars and city life to be the only sound in the car for the time.

* * *

They pulled up to Castiel place at a quarter to six. Dean parked and looked at Cas, "I'm going to go to the Franklin Park to walk Zepp, I'll meet you there. Deal?"

He watched Cas as he skillfully flung himself out of the car and nodded, "Alright Dean. I will see you in 15 minutes."

With that, Castiel climbed the stairs into his apartment building and disappeared from Dean's sights.

* * *

Either Castiel was a downright liar or he was in trouble. Dean decided, having walked and played catch with Zepp for a good half an hour. It was 6:30 now, almost a whole hour since he last saw Cas and now he was starting to freak out. Cas wasn't a liar, he just wasn't. Dean kept checking his phone like a paranoid boyfriend but there was nothing from Cas at all.

Dean was about to walk his ass over to Castiel's apartment when he heard the clear voice of Castiel behind him. "Dean. I'm sorry I have held you up." Dean whirled around to witness a very, very, agitated Castiel. He was dressed in his normal suit but his tie was all bent out of shape, put on backwards from the look of it, his shirt was uselessly tucked in and his jacket was at all odd angles.

It first thing that ran through his mind and therefore it came out of his mouth was, "Fuck, Cas are you okay?"

A small, broken twitch revealed itself at the corner of Castiel's mouth. "I have had better days." The protectiveness, or for a better word, the over protectiveness in Dean took over.

"What happened?" He huffed, walking the distance between them and fixing Castiel's shirt and tie with ease as he stared at Castiel's face.

At first Dean had thought the other man was cold and heartless with no emotions. As it turns out, he was the other way completely, he was calm, sure, but he had emotions just like the rest of humankind. The only difference was that Castiel showed them through his eyes and through minute changes in his expressions, like the one he was wearing now. The small lines on his brow, the downward turned lips. "Glen was displeased with my not showing up last night." He answered truthfully. "I told him that I was with you and he started to argue."

Dean's blood ran cold. "What'd he say?" His fingers pausing at fixing Castiel's jacket.

"He accused me of cheating. Which I told him I was not. But he said some..." Castiel's eyes looked around the park as if looking for the proper word. "Unpleasant things."

Dean's first reaction was to go into Castiel's apartment and beat the unholy shit out of Glen. That worthless prick. But this time he stopped himself and opted for making sure Castiel was okay to continue his day. "You gonna be good?" He lowered his head just the couple of inches to look Castiel straight in the eyes. Cas seemed to stare anywhere but Dean's eyes but when he finally did they seemed truthful. "It's nothing I will not be able to get over. It seems however that I will be unavailable for the next couple days to finish the Star Wars series."

Dean wanted to laugh, and kiss the other man, but that'd be counter productive. "It's okay Cas, we can do it some other time."

* * *

After ten minutes of trying to coax Zepp towards the car so they could leave, they finally made their way to work. Dean drove slower than normal as Castiel was smoking again he wanted to give him the time to finish it. Luckily for them, Cas finished the very minute they were pulling into the parking garage.

They all shuffled out of the car and made their way to their office, where Becky greeted them both with a kiss on the check. Dean was fine with it but he almost burst out into laughter at the awkwardness of Cas at that. It was like he was never kissed by a woman in his entire life. Which, thinking on it, Dean wouldn't be surprised.

"It's good you two are here!" She cooed happily, setting herself behind her desk, the two agents and the dog following her like good little soldiers. "There's a case within the city of some blood sacrifices and I wanted you two on it. Bobby sanctioned it and everything."

Dean groaned, yeah sure, he loved a good case but with Castiel's current mindset he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. But he ignored the feeling. "Alright. Hand it over." Dean ordered playfully before Becky handed him the huge wad of papers.

"It's just animal sacrifices right now. But you know how it goes, one day it's goats the other it's people." Dean snorted, she was right.

Castiel however, tilted his head and turned towards Dean. "Is that true?"

Dean let himself laugh at that one.

 

 


	4. Breaking Curfew

The next couple weeks of work were automatic, Dean and Castiel would head out on a case, take care of the bad guy and fill out papers about it.

Good to his word, Castiel hadn't seen or really talked to Dean outside of work; which didn't totally drive Dean up the wall. Nope.

What did drive him crazy however was that Glen had gotten into the habit of driving the couple of blocks from work just to pick Castiel up. It was even more insane that he'd glare at Dean whenever Dean was walking by. It wasn't like he was going to do anything. Dean wanted to, of course, but Castiel was taken territory and he didn't do that kind of shit... Well he didn't do it with Cas at least.

Benny's case had turned in his favor due to a source at the site of the attack. A 'Stephen Kelly' from a business office across the street regrettably could not actually be seen in court due to an unfortunate family event. Dean had seen Cas on the phone several times with this 'Stephen Kelly' guy and knew for a fact it was Gabriel. But he kept his mouth shut because Gabe was doing Benny a solid.

Castiel Novak had been Dean's partner for about a month now, they had taken down everything from cultists to 'demi-gods' with ease. But there was this unspoken feel in the air. Something like the awkward sexual tension and unavailability. Because of the tension they'd often stay silent.

It remained this way until April 12th. The day Glen pushed the envelope and ended up getting punched.

Hard.

* * *

Dean and Cas had just left the office together, they were actually talking a little. Castiel was still really curious as to what happened to Padmé in Revenge of the Sith. When Dean had told him that maybe he should watch it on his own Castiel shook his head.

"I believe that this weekend, if you are not busy, we should watch it." It was the first time that Castiel had ever suggested such a thing since what happened between him and Glen. Things must be getting better, Dean wished they weren't.

"I don't have any plans." Dean shrugged, smiling slightly at Cas as they started towards the personal side of the parking garage.

"Excellent, then I will see you this weekend." Cas smiled back at Dean, his now dubbed 'reserved smile' that showed more in his eyes than in his mouth.

"Hey babe!" Glen's voice cut through the mending emotions like a knife and Dean stopped his stride to turn slightly and see the bastard jogging towards them.

Son of a bitch.

Castiel's back straightened like it often did whenever he was about to face confrontation causing Dean's defenses to immediately changed from being courteous to protective. He turned himself fully, watching as Glen got closer towards Cas and him.

"What's going on?" Glen smiled. Dean knew it was fake, he could see the strain it put on Glen's face and the malice in his eyes, directed largely towards Agent Winchester.

Dean was about to open his mouth and say something but Castiel beat him to the point, "I am making plans with Dean to watch the rest of a movie."

The fake smile was replaced with stoniness. "I thought we talked about this." Glen almost growled out, his voice low enough that he thought Castiel was the only one to hear it; he was wrong.

"We did." Castiel stated coolly, his hands going behind his back. "But as I have said countless times Dean is my partner, he is a close friend and due to the fact my life is largely in his hands, I believe I have a right to form a friendship."

Dean was pretty sure that if this situation wasn't so tense he'd smile at being considered a 'close friend' it wasn't boyfriend or best friend but you know what? It was close enough.

Glen crossed his arms and actually _jutted_  out his freaking hip. Like that was going to help when Castiel was all aboard the stubborn train. "I don't trust him." Glen flat out stated, "Everyone around here has heard of the infamous D. Winchester. Love and leave them. Isn't that right, _Dean?"_

Ok sure, Dean had a couple of one night stands with men before. Alright, by 'a couple' he means a lot, but he hadn't gotten his groove on with anything other than his hand since he had met Agent Castiel Novak. Thank you very much.

Castiel, even without this little fact that Dean would take to his grave, was on the defense. "It is unwise to mistrust a Winchester." He started, his stance saying 'smitty god of sex' along with his face. "From what I have learned from Dean before your ultimatum is nothing but good." Dean's ego went through the roof, "Sure he is horribly stubborn, loves his car too much and I am concerned about his constant digestion of all things calorie filled" Dean's ego went down, "but he is furiously loyal, he is an excellent shot and he has my back at the worst of times." Dean's ego went up a peg. "So please do not insult him because he is the very person that holds my life in his hands on a _daily_ basis." Castiel finished his rant with emphasis.

Glen's brain seemed to work through that all at a slow pace but once it reached a point he opened his mouth and said the most insulting thing Dean had heard in a while. "He's a loser, Cassie. He's going to let you die one of these days."

Okay sure, Dean shouldn't have punched Glen and broken his nose. But you don't say that about freaking Dean Winchester. Ever. "You are a fucking coward." Growled out Dean as Castiel quickly grabbed Dean and pulled him away from Glen.

Glen reeled back, falling flat on his ass, holding his nose up like the dumbass he was. Castiel turned to Dean with fire in his eyes, "Dean Winchester." He said threateningly, but not like how he addressed those he was about to arrest, so Dean counted that as a plus. "You need to calm down." Once he was sure that Dean was calm enough for him to leave he walked over to Glen. "Glen, don't lean back, you will swallow all your blood and it will just make you nauseous." Castiel moved Glen's head forward slightly to allow the blood to drip out. Ripping off his shirt he placed the white fabric over his nose and helped him stand up.

Cas started to lead Glen towards Glen's truck before pausing and taking a look back at Dean. They didn't need to say anything, Dean knew Cas would talk to him later about it, but he knew he wasn't going to be murdered in his sleep and that was good enough.

* * *

When Dean got home he was kind of feeling bad, like really bad; not for Glen, that guy was a jackass, but for Castiel and the hell he was probably putting him through. Sure Glen deserved a good punch in the face, Castiel didn't deserve the repercussions.

Dean walked Zepp for a good half an hour before taking her to the little stretch of Glover Park that was mostly uninhabited at this time of day. He threw her favorite ball for her and she  tore after it right away, catching it. But instead of bringing it back she just sat there, her head tilted and her tongue sticking out the other side of her mouth; waiting for something. Realizing what the little bastard wanted Dean to come over he sat down heavily in the grass,outstretching a hand towards her. "What you want?"

Zepp didn't say anything, of course she didn't, she was a dog. No, instead she just sat there patiently waiting for Dean to open up to her; and of course he did.

Sighing, Dean rubbed his face, pulling at his mouth slightly as he did so. "Okay, so I did something stupid today." Maybe he shouldn't had started out like that because Zepp gave him a grade 'A' bitch face, courtesy of Sam. "Don't give me that look." Dean warned without any actual intent, "The bastard deserved it." Zepp dropped the ball and laid down, her paws resting on Dean's leg. "Okay, okay. So I punched Castiel's boyfriend." He admitted, no longer beating around the bush. "But he's the reason that Cas hasn't been around! And then he said that I was a loser." Zepp growled at that and stretched her paws against his pant leg. "I know right? What kinda bastard does that? He doesn't even know me."

Zepp gave him an apologetic dog face at that, "So sure I think I broke his nose but like... what else was I supposed to do?" Zepp whined at that and even if she was a dog Dean could piece together the 'not hit him dumbass'. Dean just rolled his eyes, "It's just..." Okay, he was going to lay out his heart for his dog. "It's just like, I really like him Zepp. You know that, I like having him around and to have someone so close to him tell him I'm not worth the time of day freaks me out because..." Dean leaned forward and rested his forehead on Zepp's large, furry brow. "Because what if he switches partners? What if he starts to doubt me and all I stand for?" Dean couldn't actually say what he meant, not really, not even his dog while they were in an empty park. It just wasn't going to happen, not even to himself.

Zepp seemed to understand that because she turned her face just a little to lick Dean's cheek and give him wet nose kisses. Dean smiled at that and closed his eyes, letting the dog show her affection the only way she knew how.

* * *

Dean and Zepp were comfortably home and in their pajamas by nine, well Dean was in his pajamas, dogs don't wear them.

Dean was splayed out over his couch with his third beer in his hand watching some sappy love story that he had passed on the Hallmark channel. It was about some ex-crack addict that had a kid with her dealer but was in love with her lawyer. Dean knew the ending, as most Hallmark movies ended with the choice couple getting together, but his heart still went out to them. Praying they'd get together.

It was during a stressful bit that there was a knock on the door. Dean was tempted not to answer it, but as god would have it, the channel went to commercial the very moment the person knocked again.

Dean sighed and pulled himself off the couch, pulling up his sweat pants and fixing his sweatshirt he answered the door. He was shocked to see of all things, Gabriel. Who just waltzed in like it was his apartment and not Dean's.

"Dean, Dean, Dean." He sighed, shaking his head. Zepp looked up and started to growl threateningly at Gabriel but Dean raised his hand to her and she went quiet. "Good dog." Gabriel commented towards Zepp before turning his full attention towards Dean. "Did you know you broke his nose with that punch?"

Dean wanted to deny this at all cost but he knew Gabriel and knew that the man could tell if he was lying. "Yeah, I know." He admitted, "Didn't kill him though." Dean added in hopes that that'd make him the better guy in this situation; it didn't.

"You really think that'll make up for this?" Gabriel asked seriously, walking into Dean's living room and checking out the tv. "Hallmark?" He noted, his eyebrows raising in disbelief and the serious expression leaving his face for a moment to allow for some pure amusement.

"Nothing else was on." Dean snapped back, crossing his arms over his chest. Gabriel laughed at and shook his head, "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Arch is on three channels from this one." Gabriel's face went soft for a second, just a second, before it was covered in cocky seriousness once again. "Look." He said, waving his hand around as if that'd help explain this to Dean easier. "I love Cassie, he's my baby brother. I know you'd do anything for your little brother Dean, don't act like you wouldn't. I know what actually happened at New Harmony."

Dean's heart stopped, he hadn't heard that place mentioned since Cas brought it up. Gabriel just waved it away, "Don't worry, Castiel doesn't know what actually happened. I think he'd be a little creeped out about how psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent you and your brother are."

Well that hit Dean in the gut.

Gabriel held up a finger, " _Or,_ he'd be extremely honored to have even half that loyalty. Either way, that's your story to tell. Not mine."

Dean was suddenly grateful for Gabriel, and that Gabriel at some level had to like Dean a little. "What I'm trying to tell you Deano," Gabriel's face lost all its humor again, damn near Castiel's 'smitty' face level actually. "Is that you can't go punching his boyfriend and breaking his nose. Sure! He was an ass, I've never been much a fan of Glen. He's a little too slow for my tastes. Also been all" Gabriel made grabby hands in the air, "'mine, mine, mine'." He sighed and shrugged. "But still, try to keep it in check alright?"

Dean nodded, his brain sticking on the 'mine, mine, mine' bit, because Dean knew for sure he was exactly like that with anything he deemed his and it worried him. Once again Gabriel seemed to be able to read his mind, maybe he was once an interrogator... Dean wouldn't doubt it.

"Deano." He clapped his hands in front of Dean's face to bring his attention upward. "Castiel will be in work tomorrow, he told me to tell you that since he has to keep an eye on Glen,he will talk to you then." And with that, Gabriel left as fast as had come.

* * *

Dean slept like shit that night, complete and utter shit. He kept remembering what happened in the little town of New Harmony, Indiana. The day he sold his soul.

Ok, maybe that was over exaggerating it a bit but still. What happened there would haunt Dean for the rest of his life.

You see, while his brother was a lawyer he was also Dean's personal lawyer, always had been. So when Dean had bagged and tagged some psychos cultists in New Harmony and kept their leader, Jeffrey Sams alive for court, Sammy had come up for Dean.

That was Dean's biggest regret in his life.

The night before the court date they had been sleeping in a week rent house, Sam upstairs and Dean downstairs.

They snuck in like trained assassins; Dean didn't even know the cultists were on him until Sam yelled in pain upstairs.

He had opened his eyes to see a curly blond straddling him, a knife to his throat and the evilest look on her face. She had called him 'precious', and touched and caressed his face like it was some kind of freaking treasure on a treasure hunt.

She didn't threaten Dean's life. She threatened Sam's, with the promise that if he didn't back down she'd kill Sam anytime, anywhere.

Dean promised her, and the next day in court; Dean let Jeffery Sams go. When Dean and Sam had gotten home to Washington, Sam showed Dean his back. The cult, lovers of demon bitches, had carved an inverted pentagram on his left shoulder blade. The scars had faded now, but it had lasted three years. Three years as a reminder that Dean had let his little brother down.

After leaving New Harmony, three more overweight women died, along with a family of five. Dean had been in such a rage over his past mistakes that he sent Sam and Jess on an all-expenses paid vacation to Florida while he made his way to Indiana all by himself.

Dean wasn't a murderer, he was a demander of justice. That was all.

The dreams always ended before the truly horrible bits and that's what happened tonight. Waking up at two am he was unable to sleep and unwrapped himself from the covers.

Dean spent the rest of the time watching Revenge of the Sith until it was 4:20 and he would leave for work.

* * *

Dean got to work thirty minutes early and with three cups of coffee, two for himself and one for Cas because he'd try to be nice. Not only did Dean bring Castiel a cup of coffee but while he was waiting 0e did all of Castiel's paperwork that he was able to complete. He also fixed up the office and all before 5:50.

By 5:56 Dean had reheated the coffee and placed it in the middle of Castiel's desk, and four minutes later Castiel walked in.

Dean noticed several things right away, first that Castiel wasn't mad, he was tired. Really tired. Cas always had a slight darkness under his eyes but today it was like that of a dead man. The second was that he was disorganized clothing wise once again and the third thing was that he came in with the most pungent smell of cigarettes that Dean had ever smelt from this particular smoker.

He wanted to greet Castiel, wanted to ask him how he was but decided better of it. The other agent walked over to his desk, noted the coffee and sat down, opening the folder of paperwork that was in front of him.

Shock registered on Castiel's face and his head shot up. "Winchester."

Dean's heart plummeted, "Novak?" His voice was so unsure he was pretty sure it was about to crack any moment. He licked his lips like that'd help and Castiel's eyes moved from his eyes down to his lips for a split second, getting distracted by the fast movement most likely.

"Did you get me coffee and do the majority of my paperwork?"

"Yes..."

They stared at each other for a long moment before Castiel nodded to himself, reached over and picked up his coffee, sipping at it like it was an experiment. Dean was rewarded by wide, surprised eyes. "And you made it the way I normally do." He mumbled it to himself under his breath like it wasn't something Dean was supposed to hear. Dean wondered vaguely if he had passed the point of 'close friend' and was onto the dangerous side of 'restraining order'.

Castiel placed the cup down after taking a big gulp and looked at his paperwork. "See?" Castiel murmured to himself, "And this is exactly why I believe in you."

Dean felt the need to cry; big manly tears, of course, but cry none the less. After hours of hyping himself up Castiel was still Cas. He wasn't going to leave Dean, he actually appreciated Dean. And well, if that made Dean's heart truly open for the first time in a long time, no one would know.

Dean was way past the point of liking Cas, he was pretty sure he past the point of crushing and puppy love and went to that word with the four letters. He physically could not talk, not because he was going to cry (cause he wasn't, he was being over-dramatic before), but because if he did he might spit out every sinful thing had ever thought about Castiel, who he had wronged the day before and had somehow forgiven him.

* * *

They sat in silence, both working on their paperwork, since the majority of Castiel's was done he finished before Dean (he hadn't even started his when Castiel had come into the office). Castiel waited patiently for Dean to finish and when he did Castiel stood up and walked over to Dean's desk. "Dean I need to talk to you."

Dean's heart dropped down to his bowels, he was not ready for whatever shit storm was coming his way, but he nodded anyway. "Okay." He grounded out, his voice showing more emotion than before.

Cas seemed to notice this and licked his lips, "I'm not mad." It was like he was talking to a five year old, and Dean would have been upset if he didn't need that kind of voice at this moment. "I wish you hadn't gone and broken Glen's nose but," He shrugged, "I suspect if you had a boyfriend who kept you away from me and then told me I was worthless and a loser I would have punched them as well... probably worse in all honesty. I'm not very forgiving." He admitted sheepishly, his eyes moving away from Dean's to study the empty coffee cup in the trashbin. "I therefore..." He said turning his gaze back to Dean, "just wanted you to know that despite my original thoughts on you, I view you as a great alley and good friend."

It was the nicest thing Castiel had said to him, ever. Even before when he had been naming Dean's best traits, this had more significance because it was just him and Dean now, no one else was there to judge and rip the moment away and god damn when did Castiel get so close? He could smell the strong aruma of smoke and the Head & Shoulders shampoo Castiel used.

Dean was really ready to break the moral code he had set up for himself with Cas and lean forward but the moment his body was totally ready to and his head was trying to convince him it'd be so okay the office door burst open and two women stood in the door.

One was obviously Becky, the other was some skinny redhead, only an inch taller than Becky. She was wearing glasses that looked a lot like Castiel's, and a red hoodie that would normally clash with red hair, but worked with for her.

Dean and Castiel almost jumped five feet apart, like being caught in the act of kissing... which they almost where, and both their faces lit up like fucking Christmas trees.

"Who the fu-"

"Charlie!" Called Castiel over Dean's unfinished question as he started towards the red head and picked her up off the floor to give a hug. Okay, Dean could totally see what Charlie meant as Castiel being like an older brother to her. She also acted like a little sister by _completely cock blocking_  them. Which Dean supposed was actually a good thing. A very good thing the more he thought about it.

He stood up and walked over to the two women smiling, "Sorry about that Charlie." It was weird, he didn't know this woman was Charlie up until five seconds ago but he felt like he knew her, just because of the letter she wrote him and the short text messages they had once shared.

Charlie fluttered her hand at Dean to wipe away any problems. "It's okay, I mean I totally did just come in here and ruin a perfectly hetersexual moment."

Dean and Castiel flushed red again.

"Is everything alright Charlie?" Castiel covered up his embarrassment but questioning Charlie, smooth move.

Charlie shrugged in response, "Oh, you know; Just checking in." She smiled brightly; looking back and forth between the two men while Becky turned herself around and actually left the room. Dean could still hear the squealing, but it was better than getting hit in the face by flailing arms.

Dean didn’t even want to question it anymore.

She came back a couple seconds later to grin back and forth between Dean and Castiel and now he really didn't want to know what she was 'fangirling' about. Becky invited herself into the boys' office; sitting down in Dean's chair like she owned it. Charlie followed suit but instead leaned up against Castiel's desk with intelligence not to move any of the objects.

Castiel took this time to make it to his desk and sit down in his chair before someone took it while Dean made his way to the extra chair by the window. As soon as he moved the the chair closer to the group he slouched, getting comfortable and watching everyone. Becky seemed to be investigating Dean's desk like her life depended on it, Charlie and Castiel were both sharing meaningful looks that Dean couldn't really decipher.

Just when Dean was actually starting to get irritated at not knowing what the two were saying Charlie slapped her hands on her knees and stood up straighter, removing herself from Castiel's desk. "Welp!" She started, "I'm glad no one here is going all terminator." She smiled and Dean was about to open his mouth but she raised her hand to him, "Now. I was wondering if you two knuckle-heads would like to go out for dinner with me and Becky tonight."  

Dean wanted to say no, he wanted to say hell no, but when Castiel answered almost instantly with a "Yes." Dean couldn't stop himself.

"Sure, why not?" He shrugged half-heartedly, watching as both Castiel and Charlie's faces lit up. "Sweet!" Charlie beamed, starting towards the office door and motioning for Becky to come with her. Once Becky was by Charlie's side and they started out, Charlie twirled around and gave a Vulcan salute in a quick goodbye, yelling "Smell you later bitches!" Before closing the door behind them.

There was a moment's pause before either Castiel or Dean spoke.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"What was that hand gesture she just gave us? She does it all the time."

Dean just laughed.

* * *

It was 6:40 pm when Dean jumped into the Impala and made his way over to Jesse's. Apparently that was going to be his new hang out as it seemed he was showing up here more and more. Blasting Foreigner's Hot Blooded he finally pulled into the now crowded parking lot of Jesse's.

_You don't have to read my mind, to know what I have in mind_   
_Honey you oughta know_   
_Now you move so fine, let me lay it on the line_   
_I wanna know what you're doin' after the show_

Dean jumped out of his car, straightening his jeans slightly and flattening his red button button down. He wasn't being a girl, not at all.

Walking into the bar it wasn't hard to find Charlie and Castiel, after all they were being the loudest that night. Charlie wasn't wearing her uniform as before, now wearing a novelty shirt of 'Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock' with jean shorts that revealed her rather pale legs and an unintelligible tattoo. What really grabbed Dean's attention however was that Castiel was wearing a grey/blue t-shirt that made Dean's knees want to buckle. It pulled in all the right parts and brought out the perfect color of Cas' eyes.

It was going to be a long night.

Dean went over to the two and plopped himself down in the seat across from Cas. "Miss me?" He teased as Charlie messed up Castiel's hair; causing it to fall into his eyes.

"Oh terribly." Charlie teased, resting her hands on the table and leaning forward towards Dean. "Becky is going to be a little late. Her cat got out and climbed a tree." She shrugged and smiled, "It's so fat I have no idea how it did it." Dean shook his head and smiled at that before raising a hand to attract Pamela over since she was walking by.

"Hey baby." She teased, giving him a suggestive wink.

Feeling slightly uncomfortable about this now Dean did his best to smile. "Can ya grab me a beer?" Pamela laughed and nodded before leaving the group alone.

Castiel's eyes were on Dean when he looked back towards the two. Desperately trying to cover up the need to reach other and touch Castiel, Dean turned towards Charlie. "What's the tattoo on your leg?" He asked with a teasing smile playing on his lips.

Charlie suddenly looked embarrassed and muttered something under her breath. Realizing that he got them distracted, Dean's smile grew. "What was that Charlie?"

Charlie sighed loudly and shoved her face into her hand. "It's Princess Leia in a slave bikini straddling a 20-sided die." She removed her hand to point at Dean and give him her explanation,  "I was drunk. It as Comic-Con."

Dean just laughed, "Oh god that's rich!"

Charlie scrunched up her face in annoyance and crossed her arms. "Oh and you have a better one, Winchester?" She was pouting now and despite his best efforts he found it downright adorable and much like that of a little sister's pout.

"I have one on my chest." He evaded, knowing that occult things might not be the best to bring up but apparently it was too late for that.

"Of what?" Charlie prodded.

"A star." Dean fired back, evasive as ever. It was Castiel, however, that gave Dean away.

"It is an anti-possession symbol Charlie. Dean and his younger brother got them together after Sam graduated high school."

Charlie's eyebrows shot up into her red bangs as she turned towards Castiel. "Is that so?" She turned back to Dean and sat back in her chair, folding her arms over her chest with a smug smirk filling her face. "Let's see it." She challenged, her face desperately trying to hide an all knowing smile. "And nut up, Winchester. Don't go being a prude." She motioned to his shirt and Dean knew exactly what she wanted. Lesbian or not, Charlie was out for skin.

Son of a bitch.

"I don't think that's necessary-" Castiel started, showing signs of how Dean should be feeling.

Charlie raised her hand up at that and shook her head, "Hell yeah it's necessary. Dean's known for being comfortable with his body. He sure as hell can take off his shirt for a second." In that moment, Dean knew he wasn't going to win.

"Fine." Agent Dean Winchester was never one to back down from a challenge. So, after stripping his button up and draping it over the back of his chair, Dean reached up and behind himself, pulling his shirt up and over his head, revealing his chest. Dean knew he was physically fit, he usually worked out at least twice during the week (normally Mondays and Tuesdays after work since he always had more energy after the weekend) but there was one thing about his six pack body he disliked. See, Dean Winchester had this permanent piece of pudge right by where his jeans were. At first he had thought he'd grow out of it, than he was convinced he just was wearing his pants too tight and then he realized that he was doomed to hold this extra fat for the rest of his life. He was embarrassed by it, always had been self-conscious of it and having Castiel and Charlie staring him down like hawks investigating new prey didn't help that fact.

Rolling his eyes and trying not to look over at Castiel (because Dean was pretty sure his whole face was red at this point) he jabbed at the left side of his chest where his tattoo held sanctuary. "See?" he grumbled unhappily.

"Oh I see." Sang Charlie, a pompous smile covering her face.

"Oi!" Called a familiar voice. Oh Jesus Christ, come on. Gabriel walked over from the bar, pointing an accusing finger at Dean. "I don't care how hard you're trying to impress the gay man and the lesbian; put your fucking shirt on Winchester!" Dean obliged and shoved his t-shirt back on. Giving Gabriel a reason to leave them once again to return to the bar and it's patrons. However, now that Dean showed some skin it was only fair to set up a equal rebuttal. "Cas, don't you have a tattoo?"

It was the first time Dean had looked at Castiel since he took of his shirt and, while it might have to do something with the lighting, Dean was pretty sure there was some color to Castiel's cheeks. "I have acquired one over the years, yes." And Dean thought he was being vague about his tattoos.

"Well what is it? Fess up." He smiled as gently as he could, trying to get Castiel to reveal the secret that had been haunting Dean's dreams; dark shadows against walls and pillows as Dean kissed the stubbled skin of Castiel's jawline.

"I wish to-" Whatever Castiel was saying was lost because Pamela came over that exact moment to drop off Dean's beer along with another three, one for Charlie, another for Castiel and a third for the open chair.

"You said Becky was coming around right?" She asked with a smile at Charlie.

"Yeah, actually..." Charlie trailed off as she searched her purse for her phone. Once finding it she woke it up, looking at whatever texts she had. "Becky says she's on her way now. Guy finally got out of the tree once she offered him some cat food." Charlie shook her head and grinned, "What a fat ass."

The talk of Castiel's tattoo was dropped then, it was obviously not a comfortable conversation for Cas as he got up and went to the bathroom and probably to have a cigarette because by the time he got back Becky had been there for six minutes.

Becky had explained how Guy, her fat black cat, had climbed the tree outside of her place and how she had to sing to him and give him food to make him come down.

Castiel walked over then, smelling of cigarette smoke; so Dean knew he got that part right. Becky got up and hugged Castiel, which the agent returned awkwardly; giving Becky a shy smile as he did so. "Hello Becky." Castiel greeted before pulling away from the octopus that was Becky.

Castiel sat back into his chosen seat and grabbed his beer, chugging half of it down. If Dean watched Castiel's adam’s apple bob up and down as he sucked the amber liquid down no one said anything.

* * *

The rest of the night was pretty average, Becky was jealous that both Charlie and Castiel witnessed Dean with his shirt off but was more intrigued by Castiel’s tattoo than anything else.

“What is it Cassie?” She asked, jumping up and down in her seat; luckily her beer was empty at this point so there was no chance of it spilling over.

“I wish not to disclose this.” He flat out stated, his voice sharp and kind of killing the mood.

Dean, seeing this change in the mood stood up, and nodded at Cas, "Hey Cas," Castiel looked up, his eyes careful, "Lets go out for a smoke." Castiel's face grew confused but he nodded.

"Alright."

They walked out of the bar together, ignoring the whispers from Becky and Charlie as they went. It was dark outside now, well as dark as it can be when you're in the middle of the nation's capital.

Once outside Castiel found a reasonable wall to lean against as he pulled out his pack and lighter. "Are you actually going to smoke?" As Castiel spoke up, pulling out two cigarettes and watched Dean from the corner of his eye.

"Nah man, you just looked like you needed one."

Castiel chuckled and shook his head, "You are quite observant Winchester." He mused as he put the extra away and brought the lighter to his cigarette to light it. Taking a drag he brought his hand down from his mouth to look at the moving city around them. Silence surrounded them like a comfortable blanket with only soft clouds of smoke and the city surrounding them.

"Hey Castiel." Dean started, now looking at his partner.

Castiel turned towards Dean, "Yes Dean?"

"I get that you don't want to talk about your tattoo. But..." He watched Castiel's face became guarded and suspicious, "Can you tell me why?"

Castiel snorted and shook his head as he reached his free hand up and messed up his own hair. "It's private." Cas shrugged, letting it go. But much to Dean's surprise it turned out Castiel wasn't done. "If I was just to show and explain everything it'd lose it's power."

"It's power?"

Castiel nodded and took another drag of his cigarette, "I know it sounds weird; but its true. For me tattoos are like your soul, and I don't wish to show everyone what is written there."

It kind of made sense to Dean and now knowing that was exactly why spoke defensively now. "But you've seen my anti-possession tattoo, named it right away and everything."

Castiel must have realized Dean's aggressive stance because he took another drag before turning towards Dean, using his hands to explain. "That is because your tattoo is on your chest." Castiel sighed and touched his own back, "It's all symbolism Dean, all of it. I have placed mine on my back because it is the most protected place on my body. Nine times out of ten my back is covered, even if it is just by a thin layer; it is always there. You however," He reached out and placed his palm over Dean's chest; over the tattoo. His hand fit perfectly there, contouring to the rolls of Dean's body. "You have your tattoo on your chest, while it is protected it isn't always so. You got it with Sam correct?" He didn't need Dean to answer, he continued anyway. "It shows that whatever the symbol means to you and Sam, it is very close to you. Possibly the closest anyone will ever be to you. You act as if your heart is guarded, but it isn't. It shows your weakest moments, your happiest and everything in between. I however am not like that, it's constantly covered, I protect myself more than you."

Dean wanted to be aggressive, but he couldn't. He just couldn't, "So you're saying you've seen my heart?"

Castiel smirked slightly, shaking his head as he took another drag of his cigarette before cutting it short. "I'm saying I saw your soul; not your heart."

"What's the difference?" Maybe that came across a little more agitated than intended but Castiel seemed to understand. He still didn't answer though, instead he just smiled sadly at Dean before walking back into Jesse's.

* * *

Upon entering the bar Dean and Castiel walked back to their table. Dean would have taken the seat he originally preferred but during the course of their absence Becky had moved over one to sit next to Charlie, leaving Dean's original seat filled with Becky. Since Dean wasn't going to be 'that guy' he took Becky's old seat; next to Castiel.

The rest of the night was spent with easy conversation, nothing deep and meaningful. Dean learned that Becky and Charlie had become friends online over a similar interest game called World of Warcraft or some shit like that. He also learned that Charlie had a girlfriend named Gilda; apparently Castiel had been the one to hook them up (which Dean got a kick out of for no real reason).

Dean learned some things about Castiel as well, like that his sister was coming to DC from Columbus, Ohio in two weeks with her boyfriend Alastair Ripper while they were on vacation. The way Castiel talked about Alastair gave Dean the impression that he didn't truly like the man.

It was about eleven when they all decided that they should get some sleep. Packing up, they all walked out of the bar, Charlie and Becky both hanging behind to share whispers behind Dean and Castiel's back. As soon as they hit fresh air Castiel pulled out his half finished cigarette. Lighting it up he started off on his way home. "Hey Cas!" Dean called, causing the other agent to look back.

"Yes Dean?"

"Want me to drive you home?" Castiel shook his head and gave Dean a small smile.

"I'd prefer to walk tonight. See you tomorrow Dean." And with that he walked away.

Dean turned to Charlie and Becky now, "I'll be seeing you girls sometime soon?"

Charlie nodded and smiled, "Yeah! I think we should do this next week, maybe I'll bring Gilda next time." She smiled goofily at them before starting towards her bright yellow AMC Gremlin.

Becky started towards her own baby blue Volkswagen bug before turning towards Dean, "Hey Winchester!" She called, attracting his attention.

"Yeah Rosen?"

"Goodnight!" She grinned happily before clambering into her small car. Dean called back with a "You too!" before unlocking his baby and jumping in.

* * *

Once home Dean stripped himself of his jeans and slipped on yesterday's sweats. Taking Zepp out for a short bathroom break it wasn't long until Dean was ready for bed. Crawling under the covers he thought over the day, his mind ended up being stuck on Castiel's words 'I'm saying I saw your soul; not your heart.' What did that even mean? There was a difference between the two? What? One was real and the other with up in la-la land?

After five minutes of considering it Dean got annoyed and reached for his phone.

 

March 12, 2013, 11:24 PM

Sammy, you up?

 

March 12, 2013, 11:30 PM

No Dean, What do you want?  
Is everything alright?

 

March 12, 2013, 11:32 PM

Yeah, I just need some help  
with some stuff, it deals with   
feelings, you know your area  
of expertise Samantha.

 

A couple seconds later and Dean's phone started to sing Asia's 'Heat of the Moment' signaling Sam's calling.

Groaning to himself, knowing that of course Sam would want to call for this and keep this all on an emotional level, Dean placed the phone to his ear. "Hey Sammy."

"Dean, are you sick? Do you have cancer? Are you drunk?" Sam's voice was fake worried, obviously enjoying the fact that Dean, of all people, wanted to talk about feelings. Something the eldest brother never talked about.

"No Samantha." He growled out, rolling his eyes so aggressively that Sam could probably hear it over the phone.

Laughing slightly, Sam retorted, "Then why do you want to talk about feelings Dean? I thought you were too manly for that 'shit'."

Dean groaned, "It's not exactly feelings Sam."

"Than what is _'it'_  exactly Dean?"

Dean knew this was going to be difficult, so he explained it in a rush. "Ok, so a couple friends and I were at Jesse's and one of them said they were able to see my soul but not my heart and I have no idea what that means and I figured you'd know since you're into that girly shit."

"First of all Dean," Dean could totally picture bitch face #27 right now, "It's not 'shit' second of all, who said it?"

Dean was so fucked; "Castiel." He grumbled.

Sam's smug laughter was so loud and obnoxious Dean had to physically hold the phone away from his ear until he heard a thud from the other side of the phone and a muffled 'Sam Winchester I love you but I will castrate you if you don't shut up.' Dean seriously loved Jessica.

"Sorry babe." Sam whispered. There was a soft shuffling of sheets as Sam probably got out of bed.

Hearing a door close on Sam's side, probably signaling Sam leaving the bedroom, Sam started to talk, "So, he can see your soul but not your heart? You two are too adorable. You should sell this story to Nicholas Sparks. He'll eat this shit up."

"So help me Samantha Winchester I will drive over there and complete Jess' threat."

"I own a rifle Dean; and spray paint. I know what your car looks like."

Dean's brain whirled for a good come back at that but all he could think of was, "I have several pairs of scissors."

"I'll tell Castiel you want him to leave his boyfriend and move in with you."

Now that, _that_  was the ultimate threat. Because it was true and Sammy knew it.

Dean had no idea how to respond to that, so he did the best he could. "Bitch."

"Jerk."

There was a long pause before Dean sighed in defeat. "Sam can you just tell me the difference?"

Sam sighed, "No Dean, I won't."

"Why not!?" Dean really hoped he didn't wake up the nice old lady next door.

"Because," There was a pause as Sam did whatever he was doing, "That's your guys business."

"You're an asshat."

"I know, good night Dean."

Once Dean had gotten off of the phone with Sam he continued to think. What really was the difference? Sure he could google it or something? That felt like cheating. Maybe one day he'd have to google it.

* * *

That night Dean dreamed; and it wasn't about Castiel. Not in the beginning at least.

He had been in a field, trees and grass all leveled around one particular point like a bomb went off. The point being exactly where Dean was standing. He looked around as he shielded his eyes from the blinding light of the sun. Damn it was hot. Turning away from the light he picked a direction he believed the road would be. As he walked he rubbed his shoulder and was surprised by a burning sensation. Jumping slightly out of his skin he paused his walk to rip off his shirt and look at the left shoulder.

Pulling his arm up slightly he could see a distinct hand print, frowning to himself Dean gently touched it. It was bubbling badly like the hand been on fire, but Dean would have remembered where he got it if it had just happened.

Placing his shirt back on Dean continued his walk till he got to the long stretch of road he was hoping for. Picking to go left he continued to walk until he got to a crossroads.

This is ridiculous.

"Son of a bitch!" He screamed into the air, his head and back damp from the overwhelming heat, his voice breaking from dehydration. Picking the street to the right he started down that, never really wondering where he was going, just that it felt right.

Dean wasn't aware of the storm that was creeping over his head until the temperature changed. Turning around he witnessed a those kind of storms that only the mid-west get, the rolling black clouds that covered the sky like 'The Nothing' in The Neverending Story. Fear filled his heart, reminding him of the first time he watched the movie in middle school. Dean knew that everything The Nothing passed would be destroyed.

Deciding it was a good idea to pick up the pace Dean started to run, running until his muscles burned and his blood felt like battery acid and even after that, he ran more. Turning around as he almost collapsed the darkness seemed closer than ever before. Shaking his head in defeat something, _someone_ , grabbed his left shoulder right over the burn and pulled him away from the blackness and into some bright white light.

Being blinded for a moment Dean closed his eyes as if that'd help. It was then that Dean heard his voice.

"Dean Winchester," Castiel's voice was commanding as ever and Dean's eyes opened to the white room, filled with two dark shadows and a casually dressed Castiel. "Do you have heart?" The dream Castiel continued, tilting his head. Dean was about to answer, about to tell him that matter of fact he did but he couldn't talk and then... pain shot out of his chest. Looking down there was blood all over Dean's shirt, spreading from the large hole in his chest.

Horrified Dean looked up towards Castiel; who was now holding his heart in his left hand. "I suppose you do." He mused, watching the heart still beat in his hand.

Despite the pain, despite the fact his heart was ripped out, Dean staggered towards Cas. Blood poured onto the white ground, stark against the white nothingness.

His movement and will power made Castiel look up from the heart, his face changing to one of wonder. Dean didn't know what was so intriguing to Castiel but the next thing he knew the other man was stepping forward.

A strong arm grabbed onto Dean, holding him up as Castiel's slender fingers placed his heart into the hole.

It was now that Dean saw the light.

Not _the_  light, but rather a kaleidoscope of whites and greens of all spectrums from his chest.

"And there it is." Cas says softly. A light that seemed to pale in comparison to Dean's shone from Castiel's palm, making Dean's chest feel as good as now, better even. Astonished by the lack of pain Dean looks down, staring in amazement at his 'like new' clothing. There was no hole, no blood drenched clothing, just Castiel's fingers against the curve of his chest. The light that emulated from Dean's core went like a shot to his newly instated heart, reminding it exactly what it was.

"Do you know what that is Dean?" Castiel spoke softly, his hand still upon Dean's chest.

"Nah." Dean mumbled, his voice rough from disuse.

Lifting his hand up a mere couple inches, Castiel moves it in all different directions, watching the light display from Dean's light play upon his skin. He didn't speak for a moment, just looked up with lightning eyes that screamed power and grace.

_"Your soul."_

* * *

Dean woke up to his phone ringing next to him. Groaning and feeling rather off Dean reached over and answered it without looking at the name. "m'ello." he grumbled into the phone as he ran a hand over his face.

"Dean is it too early to come over?" Castiel's voice shocked Dean, causing him to bolt up in his bed which in turn caused him to feel nauseous. Taking a deep breath he gave himself a moment to breath.

"Can you give me a little while? Like a half an hour?" He kind of didn't want to face Castiel at this moment, that dream really had unnerved him.

This apparently showed in his voice because Castiel's voice came across a little more gentler than normal, "Are you alright Dean?"

Unsure of how to answer this Dean shrugged to himself before speaking up, "Yeah, just had a dream." He wasn't going to tell Castiel that he had a dream about Cas ripping his heart out and he wasn't going to admit that he felt sick.

"Oh." Castiel's voice as unsure now, "Is it something you wish to talk about?" That's exactly what Dean didn't want.

"Nah, it just freaked me out a little."

"I see." Castiel paused before speaking up, "I will be over in an hour. That sound reasonable?"

"Very."

"See you than Dean."

With that Castiel hung up and Dean was left to feel this awkward grim over his body.

* * *

Like Cas said, he was over an hour later. Dean had managed to take a quick shower, make coffee, feed and walk Zepp before Castiel showed.

When Cas did show up he came baring gifts, "Here." He had said quickly as he handed Dean over a pie that had to be freshly made by none other than Ms. Mosley's Baked Goods. The pie wasn't the only thing Castiel brought for the day, he also brought a six pack of Dean's favorite beer and one of those oven pizzas.

Dean had been a little awkward around Castiel at first, watching his hands and staring down at his own chest to make sure there wasn't any huge holes or weird glow but after awhile things got more comfortable.

They ended up rewatching The Revenge of the Sith from the beginning since it had almost been a month and just like Dean had expected; Castiel was pissed at how Padmé died. So pissed in fact, that they had to pause the movie so that Castiel could smoke.

By this time Dean was once again comfortable with Castiel, watching the man and knowing that this man wasn't the one in his dream the night prier. Castiel closed his eyes and rested his head against the side of the window, letting a soft exhale of breath leave him. Dean was about to tell him it was just a movie when Castiel interrupted that train of thought with his words. "I'm sorry."

Dean felt an emotional talk coming on and wasn't sure if he should run and lock himself in the bathroom or sit and wade it through, he chose the latter. "Dude, it's okay. Just remember it's a movie." Castiel snorted at that and shook his head, "I am well aware of that fact."

"Than why are you so upset?" Dean realized it the moment he asked; Charlie's ambiguous description of Castiel's past filling his brain. _'His father left soon after Samandriel birth as his wife died giving birth.'_

Oh shit.

"It's how my mom died," Castiel stated, finishing the cigarette and throwing the butt out of the window, closing it behind himself. "giving birth to my littlest brother, Samandriel." He bit the inside of his cheek, shaking his head as if that'd remove the memory. "I was 14 when she passed but I remember her." He joined Dean back on the couch, reaching over for one of the four beers that were left of the pack. Castiel's brow furrowed as he continued, "I remember that she always smelled like lilac and rain." He popped the bottle open with a shaky hand as he couldn't seem to stop himself from opening up, "I remember how she always wore light blue and how her eyes were the same color as mine. She used to say 'Cassie, if you miss me just look in a mirror and I'm there.'" He laughed  sounding slightly detached. Dean must have had an odd look on his face because Castiel explained, "She was always watching after Gabriel, taking him to his baseball practice, college events, things like that and I was very attached to her even at that age so she'd tell me that." He licked his lips and took a large swig of his beer. "I still remember when she died I'd carry a mirror with me everywhere. As if that'd bring her back to me."

Dean barely remembered his mother and while it hurt every day to think on it, it couldn't even compare to losing a mother at the age of 14. He had no idea what to say to this, no way to comfort Castiel but to stare at him with soft, sad eyes. They weren't pitying eyes, simply those of someone that understood and Castiel knew that. Castiel smiled one of those rare fake smiles before turning his attention to the beer in his hand. "You know..." He started, picking at the beer label; "I haven't told anyone that. Not even Charlie really."

In that moment Dean understood what was going on; Castiel was opening up his back to Dean, exposing himself for what he was, what made him happy and what hurt him beyond words and Dean couldn't say a god damn thing back. Licking his lips he took a sip of his own half finished beer. He wanted to provide comfort to Castiel, give him a hug, kiss him, tell him that he'd take away the pain, but he couldn't do any of those things. Not now, he couldn't burden him with those sorts of problems.

* * *

They finished The Revenge of the Sith a little while later and took a break to go and walk Zepp. They stayed in comfortable silence as they walked her and eventually took her to the park where they threw around the ball, trying to get some of her endless energy out.

It was here, in this park that Dean brought up a topic that had been on his mind. "I've met Gabriel, I kinda know who Anna is but... why don't you ever talk about Samandriel?"

Castiel's head whipped towards Dean and he blinked owlishly, "Oh." He breathed out a little before turning and watching Zepp sniff at another dog. "He's in New Jersey for college right now." He shrugged slightly, "He choose to go to Princeton for philosophy."

"Princeton?" Dean kind of couldn't believe it. Castiel looked over at Dean for a moment before turning back to watch Zepp. "Yes, I was invited there as well but I declined to go into the CIA."

Son of a bitch.

"Well shit." Dean muttered under his breath, suddenly feeling small, he was just a FBI agent with a GED and a give-em-hell attitude with connections. He was nothing, standing next to this man that could probably been some huge deal if he hadn't decided on the CIA.

Castiel brushed the comment off, "It was for creative writing, if it makes you feel more comfortable." It didn't.

"It's just..." Dean started, now taking his turn to watch Zepp as she investigated a pool of rainwater. "You probably could have done anything else with your life, like become president or some shit like that."

Castiel actually laughed at that, causing Dean's head to spin and stare at him. It wasn't one of those gummy laughs but his eyes did wrinkle, so it was worth it. "No, no. I would never want to be president. If anything, I'd want to take over the world." Dean blinked before realizing that, Agent Castiel Novak, hard ass and intelligent maniac, had made a joke. This time Dean laughed as well and like all things good and wholesome, they ended up laughing way too hard together, until their sides felt like they were going to spilt and they got light headed.

All in all, it was a good walk.

* * *

Since Revenge of the Sith was over and Dean was pretty sure Castiel wouldn't want to watch 'The Clone Wars' (Dean didn't even own the movie or tv-series) Dean was convinced Castiel would leave. To his surprise, he didn't want to.

Castiel had frowned when Dean had stated that they were done with the series, well until 2015, but still. He had then inquired how long the Lord of the Rings trilogy was.

"I have the blu-ray extended edition..." Dean admitted, gaining a head tilt from Castiel, "That's about nine and a half hours of just the first three movies, and then the first part of The Hobbit just came out so I have that on blu-ray... and that's about two hours..." Dean was worried that his nerd might actually scare Castiel away but as it turned out that wasn't even remotely close.

"I am reading The Hobbit right now." Castiel mused, a thoughtful expression on his face, "Charlie gave me her copy and I must say I am very attached to the story so far."

Dean nodded at this and pulled The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey off of his large self of nerd movies. "Alright well, you want to watch that?" He smiled when Castiel's head bobbed happily.

"I would like that very much."

As it turned out, Castiel had finished 2/3rds of The Hobbit book itself so he knew exactly what was going to happen. This didn't change the little excited sounds that came out of his mouth when things from the book were echoed in the movie. They paused the movie when Radagast showed up to inform the little company about the necromancer to make the pizza that Castiel had brought.

Since Dean's kitchen was small Castiel stayed in the little connecting room and watched Dean while explaining how much he enjoyed the movie. "I am shocked that they kept the song the same. Often movies do not include those kind of details."

Dean laughed and nodded, "I know exactly what you mean!" He grinned over at Castiel, now forming an idea.

"Go get my phone, it's on the coffee table in the living room."

Castiel nodded and left the room only to return with Dean's iPhone. Dean thanked him and unlocked the small object before looking through the music selection. Finding exactly what he wanted he grabbed the small iPhone speakers he kept in the kitchen and hooked up the phone.

Grinning to himself he turned the volume up and put the song on repeat before pressing play. His grin grew as Bilbo's voice came through the speakers, 'C-can you not do that, you'll blunt them!' What he didn't expect was that Castiel would start singing as well.

_Blunt the knives and bend the forks!_   
_Smash the bottles and burn the corks!_   
_Chip the glasses and crack the plates!_   
_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates -_ _  
_

Dean couldn't help himself as he started hum and eventually sing along with Castiel and The Hobbit cast. Even when the song repeated Castiel and he both quoted Bilbo before starting the poem/lyrics once again. How they ended up totally jamming out to the song with kitchen utensils in their hands he'd never really quite understand. All he knew was it was fun as hell to hit the knives against the counter at the proper times and see Castiel's face light up with that gummy smile that Dean coveted.

How many times they sung it before they were laughing too hard Dean lost count. After he paused the song they were both holding onto the the counter tops with knives, spoons and forks clutched in their hands, both their faces bright red from laughing.

Just as they were calming down the timer on the pizza went off and grabbing an oven mit, Dean pulled the pizza out and placed it on the stove to cool. Grinning he turned to Cas and admitted, "It's been a long time since I've laughed that hard."

Castiel grinned back at Dean, unable to say anything since he was still out of breath from laughing too hard.

* * *

They ended up eating the pizza in front of the tv while watching the rest of the movie. They didn't talk much this time but rather just enjoyed each other's company.

When the credits rolled Castiel turned to Dean with the biggest shit eating grin that Dean had ever seen on Cas. "Thank you Dean."

It was just a movie but for some reason Castiel made it sound like he had just given him the answer to life and Dean kind of really enjoyed it.

Waving his hand towards Cas Dean just smiled, "It's no big, you needed to watch it anyway."

Castiel sat back and closed his eyes, "Still, it was a good thing I stayed for a little longer."

"A little?" Dean mused, ribbing Castiel jokingly, "Try three hours."

"Three and a half." Castiel corrected, smile still plastered over his face. Dean laughed and patted his stomach, grinning.

"Smart ass." he teased, turning his head towards Cas as he said so. Cas chuckled as his eyes locked with Dean's.

Grinning like idiots Dean couldn't help but admit to himself that if this was all that he got to have of Castiel he'd blindly take it. He's take every moment from the small smiles to the large grins to the gummy laughs. He'd take them all and hide them in a box for those moments that he didn't feel worth it because it was obvious, even to Dean's self hating mind, that to Castiel he mattered; even if it wasn't in the way he wanted.

Zepp ruined the moment by whining at the door to go out for her last walk. Looking away from Castiel Dean pushed himself up off of the couch and grabbed his leather jacket. He could hear Castiel moving around so he knew that Cas was probably getting ready to leave. He slipped on his shoes and waited at the door for the other man to join him.

Castiel slipped his jacket on along with his shoes and joined Dean at the door. They walked to the elevator and slipped in without trouble. The elevator would have remained silent if Castiel wasn't now humming 'Blunt the Knives'. Dean hadn't really been able to hear Cas singing before, the music had been too loud. But hearing it in this confined space, hearing the vibration of Castiel's rugged vocal chords in this steel metal death trap, Dean couldn't help but fall in love with it.

Once the elevator doors opened Castiel stopped his low humming and they walked down the white washed hall until they reached the large metal door to the outside.

Much to Dean's surprise Castiel stayed for Zepp's entire walk, they didn't talk about much. Cas mostly went on mini rants about what he did and didn't love about The Hobbit, which Dean wasn't going to deny himself; was adorable.

"I'm actually read all of the Lord of the Rings books." Castiel mentioned randomly in one of his rants about missing pieces.

Dean turned towards Castiel and raised an eyebrow, "I didn't picture you as a fantasy reader." He teased slightly and in the street lights Dean could see his partner blushing ever so slightly.

"I read them over my summers during High School. Never got to The Hobbit till now though." He shrugged sheepishly, "Don't really know why." He frowned slightly to himself, as if asking himself why he didn't.

"Don't break your brain on it buddy." Dean teased, pushing his shoulder into the smaller man's. Castiel gave Dean his best bitch face.

"I do not believe I can break my brain on this matter Dean." He shot back, his eyes teasing.

"I don't know man, seems like it's going down a dangerous path." Dean physically could not stop his flirting, it just fell off his tongue so easily with Castiel it was ridiculous.

Sadly, they ended Zepp's walk back at the large metal door. Dean knew this was when Castiel would leave so he turned towards the man and smiled, "I'll see you Monday, alright?"

Castiel smiled and nodded slightly at Dean, "That sounds accurate. Goodnight Dean."

"Night Cas."

Dean watched as Cas turned down the street to wherever he parked his car before Dean was unlocking the door and retracing his and Castiel's steps. Getting into the elevator with Zepp Dean rested his head against the metal, his brain pushing Castiel's humming to the front of the line. Dean already missed his dark haired partner and his stupid nerdy freak outs; he was so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is I think the shortest chapter of the fic XD that's why I was able to get chapter 5 done so fast (which funny story, some of my major edits didn't save for whatever reason so I have to redo that right after I post this.) Hope you guys like ;A; 
> 
> I love having Dean being able to express his nerd side so that's pretty much the purpose of this chapter. And well, punching Glen >:3


	5. Unconventional Families

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know t he whole blunt the knives thing is a little corny but when I wrote this the Hobbit had just came out and it was just a little cute domestic thing I thought of so I had to put it in here XD

The rest of the weekend passed by at a snail's pace, it also didn't help that Sam kept texting Dean, asking him if he brought up the whole heart and soul thing. Dean made a mental note never to ever tell his brother something like that again.

The majority of Sunday Dean spent at the gym, deciding that he'd try to get rid of that impervious piece pudge. Dean came home sore as a beaten slave and the pudge didn't look any different.

Son of a bitch.

He spent the remainder of that day with Zepp at the park. Teaching her how to play dead since he had pretty much taught her everything else under the sun. As always she learned the basics in two hours and they headed home, Dean stopping at the McDonald's to pick up a burger and some fries. Of course he gave Zepp some as a reward for a day well done and they went up into the apartment to lay around.

Dean knew he totally ruined his workout with McDonald's but at that time he didn't give two shits.

* * *

It was Monday at about 4:30 in the morning when Dean's life started to pick up pace again; his phone buzzing and whistling alerts like it was the Apocalypse. Trying to have enough self restraint not to shoot his phone with the gun under his pillow Dean reached over and answered it. "What do you want?" He growled into the phone, not even bothering to look at the name.

"Dean." For the first time Castiel sounded scared... frightened and now Dean was sitting straight up. "Cas, what's wrong?"

"Dean." He said again, his voice trying not to waver but Dean knew his partner well enough.

"Cas calm down what's going on?" He started up, grabbing the nearest pants to him and throwing them on.

"My cousin is coming to our bureau today." Castiel's voice was so hushed it made Dean's heart break but he relaxed slightly, trying to figure out why this was a bad thing; besides the bad blood. "So?" He asked as gently as he could.

"So, he's going to be there Dean. You have never met him, you don't understand just-" Castiel cut himself off and Dean was pretty sure he could hear the sounds of the Washington streets waking up. He was already going to work? "Just please whatever you do do not tell him anything about yourself. Or anything I have told you. Please Dean he's a profiler, he can figure out anything. _Anything._ "

"Alright man, I got you, I got you." Dean stripped his pants as he talked to Castiel, going over to his closet and finding his newest, most unworn suit and throwing it on his bed. "Are you on your way to the office now?"

"Yes."

Dean could hear the telltale sign of Castiel smoking since he heard the deep intake of air. "Alright... okay." He was mumbling to himself almost as he held his phone to his ear with his shoulder and used his free hands to slip on his pants. "I'm getting ready now, I'll be there soon."

"Thank you Dean."

"It's all going to be okay, alright?"

"How do you know that?" Castiel hung up, leaving Dean to get ready.

Dean raced around his apartment, faster than he ever had before and he was out of the house with his shaving equipment (he could shave when he got there) in under ten minutes and since the roads were reasonably empty  at this time he made it to the office before five.

Racing up the stairs and into the main room of his office he whipped out his phone

 

April 15, 2013, 4:59 AM

Sam, I had to get to the office  
right away so I couldn't feed   
or let Zepp out.

 

Dean opened the door to their office to find Castiel in a whirlwind, throwing everything personal Castiel put around the room into a brown cardboard box. It was everything personal, pens that Charlie had gotten for Cas that had 'Cassie-poo' written on them as a joke to a picture of Pamela, Gabriel and Castiel that Cas always had on his desk. Dean started to wonder if maybe he was underestimating this man.

Castiel's head jerked up to see Dean, his normally calm eyes storming with emotion. "Dean thank you." His voice was an octave higher than normal and truly panicked.

Having no idea what to do Dean went into the office storage room and grabbed another large brown box, throwing all his own personal things in there. Stuff like Zepp's picture from when she was a puppy, Sam's college graduation picture, a signed picture of Robert Plant Dean had gotten at a concert when he was 23. Everything, even the small collar he kept on the filing cabinet that was a gift from Jessica when he had first gotten Zepp went into the box.

He only paused his purging when his phone went off twenty minutes later.

 

April 15, 2013, 5:24 AM

I can make time. What's  
going on Dean?

 

April 15, 2013, 5:25 AM

To tell you the truth I really  
don't know. I just know Cas  
is freaking out about some  
big shot showing up at   
work today. I can't talk about  
it now. Call you later.

 

April 15, 2013, 5:27 AM

Okay Dean. Good luck.

 

Once all the boxes were filled with everything personal they both shoved them into the storage closet. Castiel held himself higher than normal, like he was steeling himself or something of the regard.

"Cas I promise it'll be okay." Dean had no idea how many times he was going to say it, he had no idea if it'd even work but he felt the need to try and comfort Castiel in any way, shape or form that he possibly could.

Castiel shook his head as he looked over his shoulder at Dean; "You need to understand Dean, my family...They are fierce. They're absolute. They are the most terrifying humans to date."

Well that was extreme.

"Don't you think you're over exaggerating this?" Dean couldn't help himself and the moment he said it he regretted it. Castiel turned on him, like an agitated tiger, his eyes piercing Dean's eyes.

"Let me tell you something Dean." His voice was cold and hard; just like it was when they first met. "People say when you come out your family will stand behind you, that outsiders will be the ones to push and torture you. This is a falsehood, made to make people feel better. I was alienated the moment I told them." He turned and started back to the office, Dean trailing behind him like a cobra to a snake charmer. "They told everyone in school and my locker became the most common place to write hate on, the bathroom stalls being forgotten. There are many other things that they have done to me because of my 'destructive and sinful' ways but-" He cut himself off as they walked into the office; Dean noticed that Castiel was now shaking. Whether the shaking was from anger or past pain he had no idea. "That's why I left as soon as I could."  

Dean's blood ran hot. There was no way he could let this go. Family wasn't supposed to act like that. When he had came out to Bobby and Sam sure they were a little confused (okay, lets be honest Bobby was confused, Sam said he already knew). So Dean opened his mouth to apologize but that very moment Bobby opened the door, just getting into work himself.

"Agent Novak." He started before noticing the tension in the room. "They just called my cell to inform me they will be here in 90 minutes."

Castiel nodded, his head now moving to his hands as he tried to calm himself. "Yes sir." It was Bobby's turn to open his mouth to say something but after a second of thinking on it he gave a short nod and closed the door behind himself; leaving the two agents alone once again.

* * *

Dean was pretty sure he had never seen Castiel smoke this much in one period of time. They didn't even bother to close the window door because it was just so constant. Even when Dean had gone to shave his face really quickly he had come back and Castiel was still smoking. But as soon as 70 minutes past Castiel closed the window himself and started to clean up around the spotless office once more.

Dean had asked Becky the moment she came in to put away her personal objects and to text him whenever someone that she didn't know walked into the office. He kept his phone on his person at all times.

The moment, the very moment, the clocks said seven am Becky texted Dean a 'they're here'.

They're? Who was they? Dean only recalled Cas bringing up just one, but Bobby had said 'they' too so... whoops.

Dean's posture must have given it away as Castiel's back straightened and his face wiped itself clean of any emotion other than hollowness; even his eyes portrayed nothing but emptiness and it reminded Dean a little too much of his dream.

The whole office building was silent, nothing but the occasional ringing phone and hushed voice broke the un-godly funeral silence. Nothing except for Bobby's nearing voice. "This is Agent Winchester and Agent Novak's office."

"We would like to see them." An unknown voice came from the other side of the door and Dean could see Castiel's face loose whatever color it had left.

"They're probably working." Bobby covered for them, his voice gruff. Dean and Castiel both reached for their prospective and settled in on their paperwork the moment the door opened.

Both their heads shot up at this and now Dean understood what Castiel's fears were. There were two men behind Bobby, one the same size as Dean with sandy hair and blue eyes that were only a couple shades lighter than Castiel's. The other man, the one that's eyes gravitated towards Castiel was the same height as Cas, with combed and calmed black hair and murky green eyes.

Bobby cleared his throat, directing Dean and Castiel's attention towards him, "Agent Winchester, Novak. These are Agents Lucifer and Micheal Novak."

"I am well aware." Castiel said coldly, his voice as strong as his posture, it was obvious that while Castiel was terrified of these two he wasn't going to back down.

The sandy haired one grinned, his face becoming lined with laugh lines, making him look weathered. "Castiel. What a pleasure." He invited himself into the room and walked over to Castiel while the other agent walked in and right towards the window. Looking over and out of the window he snapped his fingers.

"Look at this Luke." He mused pointing at something. "It seems that Castiel still hasn't quit horrible habit."

Dean remembered Castiel wiping that window down like his life depended on it so how the hell they knew that window was the window that Castiel smoked out of Dean had no clue. 'Luke' walked over to where the other agent, Micheal obviously, was and nodded.

"It seems so," Lucifer turned his head to stare right at Castiel, "I wonder if he has ended his other detrimental habits."

When Castiel didn't respond and stared right back at Lucifer the dark haired agent sneered, "We thought as much."

Dean was really trying to remember that seminar about how much trouble he'd get into if he punched a superior agent from the CIA but he just couldn't. So he stayed put, watching Micheal and Lucifer as they studied the room.

It was now that Micheal walked over to Dean and held his hand out, "Pleased to meet my cousin's new partner. Let's hope you are better than the last." The way that Micheal said 'partner' Dean knew there was some kind of connotation to it but he followed Castiel's example of staying silent and let Bobby answer for him.

"Agent Winchester is the best in this field." He stated proudly.

Lucifer's head swung lazily towards Bobby, a downright creepy smirk covering his face. "Just like his younger brother correct? Sam Winchester. A lawyer; right?" Dean didn't know his walls could go up any higher but they some how managed to. However, his mouth didn't stay shut. "How do you know about Sam?"

Lucifer laughed coldly and shook his head; "Please. Who doesn't know about the Winchester Brothers? One who bags and tags 'em and the other who covers up afterwards."

"Sam does not _'cover'_  for me." Dean growled, all warnings that Castiel gave him rolling off his shoulder as he stood up. "Sam does respectable work."

It was Micheal's time to laugh, his laugh even worse than Lucifer's. "Respectable work? Winchester, we might usually deal with affairs overseas but we know about your massacre in New Harmony and how your 'respectable' brother covered it all up for you by being your alibi."

"That's compl-" Whatever Dean was about to scream into Micheal's face was cut off by Castiel, who now also stood and walked over to Micheal and Lucifer, looking so small even though they weren't all that different in height. "Micheal, Lucifer, please stop picking on the man. He is not worth your time."

Dean would be insulted if he didn't know what Castiel was doing. Both of the other agent's turned towards Castiel and sneered, mirroring each other. Lucifer tisked and shook his head, "He certainly is not." He started towards Bobby and nodded, "Please lead the way to your other agents. I believe Agent Novak will stay here for a little longer."

"Why don't both of you come. Twice the senses." Bobby offered, knowing that Dean wasn't exactly the strongest person at guarding his emotions. However, much to the boy's disappointment Micheal shook his head, "Lucifer is more than capable of performing a simple shake down by himself. I will stay here." To prove his point he grabbed one of the chairs that Dean kept in the office for when Becky would hide out in there.

Bobby's jaw locked but he gave them a quick nod, "Alright." He turned towards Lucifer and nodded his head towards the cubicles that lined the entrance room of that floor; closing the door behind them.

Both Dean and Castiel tried to return to work and it worked for maybe a minute before Micheal's voice cut through the silence. "You're not married are you Winchester?"

Dean's head shot up at that, "No." He didn't want to know why Micheal was asking but he got a reply anyway.

"Good, because I'd have to inform you that your wedding band is on the wrong hand. If that were the case." Dean cursed himself, he had thought about taking the ring off; but he had decided that no one could figure out such a small detail about a person just by seeing a ring. He was wrong.

"Who's wedding band is it, Winchester? Because it is certainly not an average ring." Dean looked back down at his report and tried to finish it but knowing that this thorn in his side wasn't going to leave until he gave him an answer he gave him the shortest reply he could. "It was my mother's."

"Was?" Dean could hear Micheal's seat squeak as he sat back. "How odd." He mused, "One would think that you'd wear your father's wedding band and not your mother's. Possibly your father is still alive, but I know for a fact that that's not true." Dean had to count down to ten in his head. "So that leaves me two options." Continued Micheal, as if it wasn't obvious this wasn't pissing Dean off, "One could be that you were more attached to your mother who died when you were four instead of your drunken bastard father. How did she die again? Sniper? I heard they missed at first-"

Dean pushed out of his seat so fast his chair skidded back and hit the wall with a loud crash. "You shut your fucking mouth." Dean warned, his voice deadly. Memories that Dean had long since buried inside himself were coming up to the surface and he did not want to deal with them. Not ever. Micheal's complexion was smooth as a stone, except for the signs of a slight smile.

"Did you honestly think we wouldn't come prepared to meet you Agent Dean Winchester? Born in little old Lawrence, Kansas? You don't seem to understand the severity of your current position." He raised his hands into the shape of a tepee under his chin, his elbows resting on the chair arms. "Castiel is family after all."

Dean hadn't heard Castiel stand up, he wouldn't have even noticed his movement if the man hadn't stood right beside him. Sure Castiel was smaller than Dean, sure his body was more ectomorph compared to Dean's mesomorph body but he carried himself with such a posture Dean would be damned if it wasn't even slightly intimidating.

"It is rather funny that you would say such a joke, Micheal." Castiel started, his eyes now like slits and unrelenting.

"It is no joke Castiel, you are family."

Dean hadn't expected Castiel to explode, never in a thousand years did he ever expect this. "Family?" Castiel repeated, "Family? Does family carve things like 'faggot' into family's legs when they're sleeping? Hm? Does family burn the majority of each other's clothing? Does family lock family in the basement with EWTN  blasting on the radio about the sins of homosexuality? No, they don't!" He had some how gotten closer to Micheal now, looking directly into his face. "What I have learned about family is all thanks to Dean Winchester. Family doesn't do what our family did. They protect each other selflessly, with unending devotion. So please do not use the term 'family' as an excuse ever again. You are less like family and more like the dirt on my shoes."

Dean wasn't sure if he should clap, gawk, or send a punch at the moment. So naturally he picked to gawk at Castiel who was breathing hard and shaking slightly from holding in his rage. "People say what happened in Syria was what broke me. The truth is that you guys did, you were just better at hiding it." Dean was done with this, all of this. Grabbing Castiel's elbow he tore him away from the situation and started towards the door with the other agent.

"Dean what are you doing?" Castiel asked but Dean noticed how the other agent let him drag him along.

"We're leaving." Dean stated coldly. "Leaving this fucker." He glared at Micheal as they opened the door, letting Castiel out first before turning back towards Micheal. "And let me tell you," He started his eyes locking with Micheal's slightly amused ones. "If I ever see your ugly mug around here again I will beat the shit out of you."

"Is that a threat Agent Winchester?"

"It's a promise."

* * *

The moment they removed themselves from the building they could breath again. Castiel didn't waste any time with pulling out his cigarettes and lighting one as Dean continued towards his car, Cas trailing behind him.

Castiel rolled the impala's window before sitting down and taking another large drag of his cigarette. Dean got into the driver's side smoothly and started her up with no problem. He had no idea where he was going, none at all, all he knew was that he had to get Castiel as far as he could from this hell.

That's how they ended up at Sam's house. Sam wasn't home but Jess was and she accepted them without question. "Dean, Castiel!" She said when she greeted them at the door, "I was just making some lunch." She smiled softly to them and pushed them inside.

Once again, Dean remembered why he loved Jessica. Because no matter what, she accepted him and apparently Cas too.

"Thank you." Castiel croaked out with a half broken smile. Dean could tell that Cas soon wasn't going to be able to hide his emotions anymore and that he needed to do something about it.

"Hey Jess." He started and the blonde woman turned to him, "Yes Dean?"

"All my old clothing is still in the guest room right?" Jessica hummed in response to that, "Yeah you bet Winchester." She smiled at him, giving Castiel concerned sideways glances as she did so. Dean choose to ignore those and instead grab onto Castiel's suit jacket, bringing him towards the stairs. Dean didn't know why he suddenly got all handsy with Castiel but just like the progression from Agent Novak to Cas he didn't think he could stop it. So he didn't.

Castiel didn't even bother asking where Dean was taking him, blindly trusting him at this point.

Once up the stairs he took the right into the hall and then the right into the last room. It was the guest room (really it was Dean's room but to keep it formal it was the 'guest room').

Upon entering Dean let go of Castiel's arm and walked over to the long dresser opening the drawers and finding Castiel his favorite sweats. He threw them over his shoulder at the man and an old Led Zeppelin shirt. Shit Zepp. He'd call Sam before five and have him bring her over; because Dean had the feeling that he and Castiel weren't leaving Sam's house tonight.

"Put those on." Dean instructed Cas. Without looking over he could hear the man pad away from the room to find the bathroom. Dean pulled his phone and keys out of his pocket and placed them on the dresser before getting into his own sweats and shirt (another Led Zeppelin shirt, okay yeah he had a lot of them. Sue him). Once that was done he quickly shot out a couple of texts, first to Bobby,

 

April 15, 2013, 12:01 PM

Bobby, Cas and I left. We're  
at Sam's. I'm sorry but we had  
to get out of there. I don't know  
if we're coming in tomorrow.

 

than to Becky,

 

April 15, 2013, 12:02 PM

Hey not-so-much-BSBF,   
Cas and I cut out of work  
early, how you holding up?

 

and finally to Sam.

 

April 15, 2013, 12:05 PM

Samantha, Cas and I are   
at your place. Can you bring  
Zepp over too? IDK if we're   
leaving tonight.

P.S. I'm going to find your   
scissors; Just in case.

 

Dean just pressed the send button when he heard some humming; Castiel's humming. If he was correct (and Dean was 96% sure he was) Cas was humming 'Blunt the Knives'. The humming stopped as soon as the bathroom door opened up and Castiel joined him back in the guest room. He looked so damn small in Dean's clothing. Maybe it was the fact that Castiel was the perfect three inches shorter than Dean or that he had an emotionally trying day but he defiantly looked smaller.

Dean just wanted to hold him close, hum soft songs to him and kiss his forehead. But he couldn't do that. Clearing his throat he walked over to the other agent, placing both hands on his shoulder as he did so. "How you holding up Cas?" Dean leaned down a little so that he was eye to eye with the man, making sure he knew that he had his back.

Castiel's face was starting to fall, his eyes were broken, his smile wasn't even close to making an appearance and his brow stayed furrowed in the way it did when he was confused or hurt. So, it was completely and totally understandable when Dean's hands moved to the other man's back and pulled him in for a hug.

If it had been anyone else, anyone, this would have been awkward. But holding onto Castiel in the upstairs guest room while the other man was breaking into pieces in front of Dean felt right. It felt right because Castiel's arms ever so slowly came up and wrapped themselves around Dean's lower waist. Dean pulled Castiel's body closer as the suddenly fragile agent hid his face in Dean's shoulder.

How long they stood there Dean had no idea, nor did he really care. He could stay like this forever; feeling Castiel slowly melt into his arms and his heart rate go down as he relaxed, but these things never last long and soon the house phone rang and the moment was broken.

They pulled apart slowly and Dean patted Cas on the back, "Lets go see what Jess is making for lunch." Castiel's mouth quirked a little so Dean counted that as a plus. They didn't stop touching each other until they reached the stairs and Dean had to remove his hand from Castiel's back in order to descend the stairs. He missed the warmth but didn't voice his pain.

* * *

They traveled into the kitchen to find Jess tackling five things at once, she was on the home phone, cooking some soup, grabbing plates and putting her hair up all at the same time. Realizing that Jess was going to drop something Dean ran over and grabbed the plates needed while Castiel went over to the stove and stirred the soup so it didn't overflow.

"Thanks guys! You're life savers!" She sang before moving her head back to the phone, "No not you Sam." She teased, grinning at whatever response he gave at that. "Yes they're here. Would you like to talk to Dean? Yeah, I thought so. Here." She handed the phone over to Dean before taking the plates from him and walking over to Cas. She gave him a smile and said something but Dean missed it because Sam started his little brother rant.

"The hell Dean? What happened? Did you do something? Please tell me you didn't murder anyone because I really can't save you from that kinda shit and-"

"No Sam. I didn't physically hurt anyone." Castiel turned to look at Dean and cock his head in that 'curious bird' fashion that Dean couldn't help but smile at. Castiel's head cocked even more to the side and Dean had to force himself to look away before he he got that 'love struck' look on his face and gave himself away.

"Well what the hell happened Dean?" Sam's voice came across as whiny now and Dean snorted.

"Look, it's a long story. All you need to know is that I left there before it got bloody. So be proud of me."

Dean was pretty sure he could see Sam's bitch face from this spot if he looked really hard towards the city, squinted and turned his head sideways.

"Congratulations Dean for not letting your hot-headedness get in the way of you keeping a job."

"Way to sound thankful Samantha."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"I'll see you around five, Dean. I have to go. UPS man is here again."

Dean mentally kicked himself for not realizing that he never told Sam who 'UPS' guy was. "Whoa, whoa Sam hold on." Sam sighed loudly into the reserver, "What Dean?"

"Can you put him on the phone?"

"Wait what?!" Sam was floored, "What are you going to do Dean threaten him?"

It was Dean's turn to sigh loudly, "No Sammy, I know him and I need to talk to him."

"I don't know Dean..."

Thank god for Gabriel because as loud as a bell Dean could hear Gabriel on the other side of the phone. "Is that Deano?! Hand that over!" There were some sounds of a struggle but in the end it was Gabriel's voice at the other end. "Dean Winchester, where is my brother?"

"Your brother?!" Sam's voice screeched from the other side as well. "Castiel is your brother?!"

"Catch up Gigantor, Of course Cassie is my brother." Turning his attention back to the phone Gabriel's voice got more serious, indicating he was talking to Dean now, "Now seriously Deano, where is my brother and what is his mental state?"

Dean looked over towards the kitchen table where Castiel sat with Jess. It was almost heartbreaking actually; Cas was resting his head on Jessica's shoulder as the slender woman ran her fingers through his hair and whispered calming things to him. _He_  wanted to run his fingers through Castiel's soft, Head and Shoulders smelling hair.

"He's with me and Jessica right now." He croaked out, turning away from the kitchen table to look at the soup that he now stirred absently.

"His mental state?" Gabriel was having none of Dean's shit today.

Dean peaked another look at Castiel before sighing. "Breaking, but holding together." He said softly into the phone so that Cas and Jess couldn't hear.

Gabriel hummed in response at that before replying, "Well, the way I see it is, I have to stop by FBI HQ and have a little word with Superior Agent Bobby Singer."

"Whoa, whoa Gabe-" Castiel's head almost swiveled the 180 towards Dean at the sound of 'Gabe' "-What are you going to do?"

"Is that my brother Dean?" Castiel asked, getting up from the table and walking over now.

"Yes Cas it is." Dean sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get any info out of Gabriel with Castiel's broken, kicked puppy look, so he just handed the phone over before Castiel asked; saving both of them the trouble.

"Hello brother." Castiel greeted, holding the phone to his ear as he walked out of the room.

"Well that was... a turn of events." Jessica said from the kitchen table, an amused expression on her face.

Dean laughed slightly and nodded, "Yeah what ever happened to lunch?" He teased, walking over to her and sitting down where Cas had been sitting moments before.

"It got postponed due to interruptions." Jessica smiled softly and seemed to watch Dean's face for a long, thoughtful moment.

Just when Dean had decided he was going to ask her what the hell was going on Jessica spoke up, "Why do you torture yourself Dean?"

Wait, what? "What?"

Jessica smiled sadly and shook her head, "I asked 'Why do you torture yourself?'"

"I don't." Dean covered up, knowing where this conversation was going and not liking the final destination.

Jessica gave him a grade A bitch face in return, "Dean, even if I was blind I would still be able to tell that you have strong feelings for him."

There Jess went again, causing Dean to love her even more. Sam would have thrown out the 'L' word like it was nothing, almost like it was a teasing thing, but Jess, she knew that Dean would actually mean it if he said it; and saying that out loud (even if he had said it several times in his head) would break him down.

"So? He's my partner." Dean was doing his best to cover up this conversation with a large level of dirt.

Jessica, for what it's worth, resisted the urge to slap him, it was written all over her face that she wanted to; "Dean Winchester." She warned, her face getting serious. "You can try to hide from this conversation like a little bitch or talk about it like a man."

Ow, Dean's pride.

"Am I interrupting something?" Castiel's voice came through like many little Cherubs singing praise to Jesus and Dean visibly dropped his shoulders.

"No, not at all Cas." Dean grinned before standing up and walking over to the soup.

Jessica just glared at Dean's back with a surprising amount of pity. But Dean was good at ignoring things he didn't want to talk about; so keeping his voice bright he asked, "Who wants some lunch?"

* * *

Lunch passed by easily enough, they stayed away from the day's problems and instead talked about the rest of the day's plans. Jess was usually worked today but she had a doctor's appointment at three so she had taken it off. She told them she'd stop by the store and pick them up anything they needed. So Castiel got up and grabbed his wallet, giving her enough money for two packs of red Marlboro 100s while Dean went and got his, giving her money for all the beer he was guaranteed to drink that night.

They finished their lunch soon and all three of them cleaned up, Dean putting the food away while Castiel and Jess cleaned and dried the dishes that were used. Once that was out of the way Jess clambered into her car and drove off to her doctor's appointment.

Some way or another Dean and Castiel ended up on the front porch; a beer in both their hands and a lit cigarette in Castiel's free one. Since it was only April it was still cold as balls outside; Dean was used to the cold but it was obvious that Castiel wasn't. He was shaking like a leaf. Standing, Dean held a hand up to stop Castiel for getting up as well, "Don't. I'll be right back."

Three minutes later Dean came back outside with one of the warmest sweatshirts he owned. Dean took Castiel's still lit cigarette from his hand and handed over the warm red and black sweater. Castiel only looked at it for a moment before slipping the fabric on over his head and holding his hand out for the cigarette. Dean handed it back and took his seat next to Castiel.

For a moment it was silent, just them watching the quiet suburbs before Castiel spoke up, "So you were on the football team in High School?"

Dean cringed, "Yeah. Running Back." Castiel nodded and for some odd reason, found this all pretty funny. "What's so funny Novak?" Dean teased, watching his friend's face.

Castiel snorted as if Dean's defensive question made it even more funnier, "I find it funny and stereotypical."

"Stereotypical?" Dean repeated, now intrigued more that annoyed.

Castiel nodded and gave Dean a small smile before turning back to the street in front of them, "Yes, the older brother, attractive football player that wants more than a small town life? That's very stereotypical Dean."

"Attractive?" Dean had heard all of the sentence but he couldn't stop himself from bringing that little tidbit up.

"In some people's eyes, I assume so." Castiel quipped, his eyes darting towards Dean before looking back at the road.

Dean took a deep swig of his beer before trusting himself, "Full of sass today aren't we Cas?"

Castiel smiled at that, taking a drag of his cigarette and whatever tension was gone at that.

* * *

Jessica got home at around 4:30 and immediately indoctrinated the two wayward agents to help her make dinner; which happened to be spaghetti and meatballs. They were half way through working on dinner when a car door sounded from the driveway and Sam's voice was as clear as a bell, "Come on Zepp! He's in here."

The next thing that happened was that the back door opened and Dean hit the ground; being attacked by his favorite mess of black and brown fur.

"Hey girl!" Dean laughed as he covered his mouth from her excessive licking. "Yeah I missed you too." He ruffled her fur happily with a kind hand as she whined at him. Dean had never really left Zepp’s side or the other way around, they spent the middle of the day away from each other (sometimes) but the longest they had ever been apart was ten days. From that moment on Dean felt uncomfortable about leaving Zepp anywhere by herself; so he accepted her love with open arms and a warm laugh.

Dean and Zepp bonded happily up until the briefcase carrying Sam walked through the door stating, “She ruined your couch pillows.”

“Oh thanks Sammy,” Dean pushed himself up and walked over to Sam, “Why don’t you just tell me I have cancer or something?” Sam replied to this with bitch face #53 and “I don’t think your couch pillows are in the same category as cancer Dean.”

“Hey!” Dean said, pointing a teasing finger at Sam, “I liked those pillows!” Sam just rolled his eyes before walking over to Jessica, where he placed down his brief case and kissed the top of her head gently. Dean looked away at this time; even as Sam's older brother he didn't want to intrude and despite it all, when he looked at Castiel he realized that the other man was studying his fingertips as if he was thinking the same thing.

When Sam was done loving up his wife he walked over to the boiling pasta and poked at it with a wooden spoon before asking; "When will dinner be ready?" Jessica smiled softly to herself, giving Sam those shiny eyes she did whenever she was in love with him (which by the way, was a lot) before answering "In about thirty minutes."

Sam nodded at that and started towards the stairs, "Alright." He took the stairs two at a time before disappearing out of sight.

* * *

Dinner, just like lunch, was a simple affair. Sam talked about how annoying Gabriel was and how he was stronger than he looked while Castiel laughed a little too hard when Sam explained how Gabriel had taken him down. "Gabe is quite found of headlocks." Castiel had commented, a nostalgic look crossing his face as he said so.

Once they finished dinner Dean and Castiel went outside to let the happily married couple have a moment to themselves to discuss things that weren't any of their business. Bringing Zepp outside with them Castiel sat on the porch and watched Dean run around with the dog to get some of her pent up energy out.

Once Zepp was having no more exercise Dean got up off of the ground and walked over to Castiel, sitting next to him in one of the porch chairs with a grunt.

They watched Zepp stretch out and roll around lazily together for a long time before Castiel broke the silence. "Your family seems very content Dean."

Dean wasn't stupid, well not completely, and he knew what that translated to. He looked over at his partner, the smoke from the cigarette rising around his head like a halo. "Yeah well, you're my partner Cas." He began, causing the other man to turn towards him. "Which means that my family is your family." Dean had to mentally pat himself on the back for causing the large round eyes of shock on Castiel gave him  What he didn't expect was the agent to go completely mute and turn away, almost closing Dean out.

Dean had started to get nervous when Castiel finished his cigarette and still hadn't said anything, but all nervousness left him when Castiel turned towards him and looked him straight in the eyes. "You cannot mean what you said before, about me being family."

"Yeah Cas, I really did." Dean didn't even have to think on that one. Seeing that doubt in Castiel's eyes Dean decided to elaborate, "Look Cas, we're all lost people. You know about me and Sammy, Bobby's got one hell of a sad life, but we live the best we can. Cause we have each other. And from the looks of it, you're just as lost as us."

Dean and Castiel shared one of their long looks after that, staring back at each other like it was the connection to each other's souls. Dean knew Castiel was broken, the most broken people could always pick out another broken soul, no matter how well it was hidden. Dean could help Castiel fix himself if he had the time, if Castiel would have the patience to allow him to, he could build him up like the Chrysler building and allow him to shine like he deserved to.

It was Castiel that broke the connection after a moment, opening the back door and whistling for Zepp to come in with them; which she obeyed with no need for Dean's reinforcement. So they all walked in and god damn it, Dean remembered why he hated staying at Sam and Jessica's house. Sam didn't have any taste in music, neither did Jessica but she wasn't a blood relative so it wasn't as much of a betrayal. Thankfully, from what Dean could tell, the song was almost over; so he only had to listen to it for a little while longer.

Walking into the living room with Zepp and Castiel he witnessed the two dancing happily. Dean had always liked Jessica because she reminded him of a bird, not a bird of prey but more like a mourning dove or something of that nature. She moved perfectly to Sam's awkwardly long limbs and gawky movements. So he and Castiel both watched the two dance happily just before Zepp ran over and around them in circles.

_For you, for you._   
_Baby I'm not moving on,_   
_I love you long after you're gone._   
_For you, for you._   
_You would never sleep alone._   
_I love you long, long after you're gone._

 

The rest of the song was drowned out by Sam and Jessica's laughs as they tripped on Zepp and fell onto the couch, grinning stupidly at each other. Dean decided right then and there that while his life might have it's flaws he was perfectly content with seeing his brother happy.

"What was that song?" Castiel asked as he walked over to the empty love seat and sat down.

Jessica grinned and looked at Castiel, her eyes happy and that shiny once again, "It's Gone, Gone, Gone by Phillip Phillips."

Castiel nodded and smiled, "Thank you Jessica."

"Its not a problem Castiel, anything other than Classic is okay." She teased, giving Dean a playful wink as Dean joined Cas on the couch.

"Hey you can't diss the classics Jess!" Dean fought back, knowing he'd lose this battle since he was in the house of 'Top 20s'.

"I find that I enjoy a large spectrum of music." Castiel mused, relaxing into the couch with the simple banter floating around him.

Sam looked over at Castiel and tilted his large moose-like head, "Like what?"

Castiel shrugged and raised his hand to count off his favorite music, "I like the classics of course, but I also enjoy Radiohead, Linkin Park, Iron & Wine, Mumford & Sons... and" He looked over at Dean with a curious look, as if daring him to answer it for him.

Dean couldn't help but rise to the occasion; "Janis Joplin."

"Exactly."

Sam and Jess gave each other looks, ones Dean couldn't decipher because they were 'couple' looks and those were a league of their own. With whatever they were communicating finished Jess looked at the two agents, pushing herself off of the couch, "Who wants ice cream?"

"Fuck yeah!" Dean said, tearing his eyes away from Castiel, "Ya' got pie to go with that?"

Jessica gave her best impersonation of a bitch face, "No Dean, we don't need you getting fat."

"I'm not fat!" Dean shot back with a tad bit of defensiveness in his voice; he couldn't help but think of his pudge.

Sam snorted and shook his head at that, "Yeah and how'd you get that stomach you got going over there?"

Dean jumped his brother as soon as Jessica was out of the way, putting the larger man into a headlock and messing up his mop hair.

When Jessica reentered the room to find her husband and brother-in-law still wrestling like children she sat herself down next to Castiel, handing him a bowl with a considerable amount of vanilla and chocolate ice cream. Grinning she also handed him a bowl with a nice sized piece of pie popping off of the side. She whispered something to Castiel before standing up and moving herself to her original place on the larger couch.

Now that she was settled on her own couch, comfortably munching on her ice cream Castiel called Dean's attention to him. "Dean, the ice cream has seemed to have sprouted some pie."

"Pie?" Dean's head shot up, giving Sam enough of a distraction to reverse the current wrestling status and put Dean into an armlock.

"Hey!" Dean called, struggling slightly and frowning like a five year old. Sam laughed loudly at that and let Dean go before heading over to Jessica and plopping himself down to retrieve his winner's kiss and ice cream.

Dean pulled himself off of the ground, rubbing his arm slightly before walking over to Castiel and sitting down with a dejected feeling around him. Castiel handed over Dean's bowl and smiled, "You fought valiantly Dean." He commented before taking a large spoon full of his own ice cream and sticking it into his mouth with the stupidest happy look on his face.

* * *

Despite their young ages of 20s and early 30s they called it a night at around nine after they had finished two episodes of Toddlers and Tiaras (Jessica had a guilty pleasure that was for sure). Dean and Castiel were the last two to call it a night since Castiel wanted to have a quick smoke and Dean had to let Zepp out one more time.

Once Cas had his cigarette and Zepp had successfully gone to the bathroom the crew of three entered the house once more. As they made their way through the dark kitchen Castiel suddenly called out quickly, "Dean..." Dwan turned, his eyes going automatically to Cas, giving the other agent incentive to go on. Cas fidgeted for a moment, shifting his weight ever so slightly, "Am I sleeping on the couch?"

Being related to Sam, Dean was able to imitate the famous bitch face rather well and threw it at Cas, "No man, you're taking the second guest room." Castiel nodded in thanks and they made their way upstairs.

Once Dean showed Castiel were he'd be sleeping and sharing some 'good night's Dean made his way to the bathroom. He didn't take long in there, brushing his teeth with the toothbrush he kept there before relieving himself. After a couple minutes of getting ready for bed, he made his way to his own room where his guitar, phone and keys were.

He busied himself for a moment checking his phone; both Bobby and Becky had pretty much attacked his messages but nothing too serious. Instead of concerning himself with getting back to them he sat down on his bed, rubbing his face as if to remove the tension of his life. It was good, it was all good, his brother was happily married and he was falling in love with his partner. It was all good.

From the corner of his room his guitar stared him down, alone and forgotten. They had a little staring contest before Dean got an idea. Standing up he grabbed the guitar and the stand it was on, packing them away to bring them home with him when he finally got back to his place.

With that he he finally crawled under the covers and called it a night.

* * *

For once Dean didn't dream; but that might be because he was woken up before he could actually formulate one. It was about midnight when Dean stirred from his sleep; feeling something was wrong. Dean had ignored the feeling, trying to find sleep once again but just when he convinced himself nothing was wrong there was a gentle rapping at his door. "Dean?"

It was Cas, all bets were off.

"Yeah Cas?" Dean groaned, rubbing the sleep away from his face with a weathered hand.

"Can I come in?" Castiel's voice was small, and breaking and Dean knew that this is what his off set feeling was from.

"Yeah man just come in." He pulled himself up on his bed and yawned slightly as Castiel opened the door. Even in the dark light of the room Dean knew that Castiel was crumbling right before his eyes.

This guy just couldn't get a break could he?

Dean ripped the covered from around him and walked over to Castiel quickly, putting his hands on the other man's shoulders and leaning down to look him as best as he could in the face. With his hands touching Castiel Dean now noticed he was shaking; violently.

"Cas what happened?" Dean's voice went a couple octaves higher than it normally would but he was tired and worried and if his protective shell broke a little at this time of night it was understandable. "Glen..." Castiel muttered, holding out his phone with a shaky hand.

Dean grabbed the device from Castiel's hand the moment he placed the other man soundly on his bed. Sitting next to Castiel he turned the screen on, blinking slightly at the light he noticed that Castiel hadn't replied to any of the messages and had left them on his home screen. It was enough to know.

There were ten missed calls and eight text messages; all from Glen.

 

April 15, 2013, 5:05 PM

Where are you?

 

April 15, 2013, 5:20 PM

Babe, seriously where the   
fuck are you?

 

April 15, 2013, 6:00 PM

You're with /him/ aren't you?

 

April 15, 2013, 7:10 PM

I called your work. Mr. Singer  
says that you and Dean left  
to god knows where. You  
fucking lied to me Cassie.

 

April 15, 2013, 7:53 PM

I should have known I was  
dating a cheating whore.

 

April 15, 2013, 8:24 PM

I lied all those times that  
I saw your scar. You do   
fucking deserve it. Everything  
they've ever done to you.  
You deserved it all Castiel.

 

April 15, 2013, 9:15 PM

I'm done with you Castiel  
Novak. Done.  

 

April 15, 2013, 11:52 PM

You know you're not even  
worth my time and you-

 

Dean stopped reading the texts. He felt sick; physically ill. But to put it into perspective, Castiel probably felt worse. But Dean had a horrible guilty streak, he always had. "Cas, I'm so sorry I-"

"Dean I swear on God if you say this is your fault I will punch you." Well that was a violent response, but Dean shut up right away.

Castiel sighed, looking at his shaking fingers. "I should have told him. Texted him or something..." Dean shook his head and wrapped one arm around Castiel's slender shoulders.

"You were having a bad day to begin with." Dean said as softly as he could, trying to help Castiel calm down.

Instead, Castiel snorted, "That's putting it lightly."

Dean hummed in response, unable to actually come up with a coherent sentence, unable to help Castiel. Castiel, the person that he had thought he'd be able to bandage and heal up like he did with Sam when they were younger. He was so wrong, he wasn't the right person for Cas; never was.

They sat in silence for a long moment, the silence it's self calming Castiel down enough for him to talk. "The thing I find most interesting is that losing him doesn't have as much of an impact at I thought." Dean's head shot up to look at Castiel's rough features in this soft lighting. "I don't think I ever really cared. I think he was just a way to get over what happened in Syria." Castiel wasn't talking to Dean now, he was talking to himself; calming himself down with his small observations. "But why does it hurt?" Castiel muttered lower and more to himself than the other comments.

"Because you let him in." Dean stepped in as gently as he could; because he knew it was true. This is what happened with Cassie Robinson, the woman he never wanted to think about because of that very same reason. He had let her in and she had turned around and spit in his face.

Dean's arm closed tighter around Castiel. Castiel took this as initiative to place himself more against Dean's side, resting his temple on his shoulder. "He saw my back." Castiel muttered against Dean's shirt and Dean knew neither of them were getting any sleep.

They did end up getting to sleep however, just like that night all so long ago when they had fallen asleep together. Castiel was the first one to fall asleep, curling around himself in the middle of Dean's bed when Dean had started to hum 'Hey Jude' to him like Dean's mother used to when he was upset.

Dean had considered leaving the room, he really had, but his bed was more comfortable and was already warm. So instead he just crawled onto the bed, his back against the wall.

* * *

This time when Dean woke up he didn't freak out about Castiel's chest being pressed into him, he didn't freak out about how Castiel's arms and legs fitted perfectly against his body. Instead he just stared at the sleeping man.

Up close like this Dean noticed the dark bags that circled Castiel's closed eyes, he noticed how Castiel's nose was ever so slightly tilted like it had once been broken and put back into by a skilled profession. He noticed that this close up Castiel's lips weren't chapped like he originally believed, but that they once had been. That this was just repercussions of constant splits and untouched lips.

Dean noticed that Castiel probably couldn't grow a full beard, the fuzz that was filling his face from the day before seemed too thin to actually cause some striking facial hair, and that strangely made Dean happy. Castiel's jaw line was too... angelic to cover up with coarse facial hair. Dean licked his lips softly and reached out to gently run the side of his index finger over the man's jaw, unable to stop himself.

It was that moment that Castiel showed a sign of life, moving slightly under Dean's gentle touch. Dean, being Dean, retracted his hand and stowed it as far away from Castiel as possible without making it look uncomfortable.

Ocean blue pools revealed themselves a moment later as Castiel opened his eyes and shuffled around. "What time is it?" Castiel's voice was rougher than normal and Jesus Christ it wasn't good to be turned on when holding the other man.

Dean removed himself from Castiel to pull himself up to look at the clock on the night stand behind Castiel's head. "8:30." Dean informed before sitting up and completely removing himself from Castiel. "Which means we've missed Jess and Sam." He added as he covered his mouth to yawn.

Castiel's brow furrowed and if he wasn't laying on a mountain of pillows Dean was convinced he would have cocked his head to the side like he always did. "Where did they go?"

"Work." Dean stated, getting out of the bed and stretching. It was awkward for Dean now, this comfortable feeling felt too perfect. Dean remembered what had happened the night before, about the brokenness in Castiel's eyes; how it was all his fault. Damn it all to hell he was being a little girl about this. "I'm going to take a shower." And just like that Agent Dean Winchester, age 34, ran away.

* * *

Dean didn't come out of the shower for 20 minutes, he hid under the pounding hot water and tried to piece his thoughts together. It didn't work.

Having brought a clean outfit with him from the bedroom Dean dressed quickly before leaving the bathroom and entering his bedroom. He was surprised that the room was empty. He went downstairs and checked the living room (empty) than the kitchen (empty) and finally went outside where Castiel was sitting on the stoop steps watching Zepp as she investigated the yard. Despite his best efforts, his very best efforts, Dean couldn't help but love the way that Castiel looked peaceful with a cup of steaming coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

There was something so perfect about the peace that Dean marched over and plopped himself right next to the agent. "I think I used up all the warm water." He commented, getting a small smile out of Castiel.

"I highly doubt that Dean." A hush surrounded them both, Castiel's sips at his coffee being the only sound made now.

"My scar, the 'faggot' that Lucifer and Micheal carved into my skin, is on my thigh." It was so random that Dean wasn't sure if he had made it up or not but turning to see Castiel watching his face carefully was enough proof to know that he wasn't.

Dean nodded, accepting that this was how his relationship with Castiel would go, "When I was little, my mom used to sing 'Hey Jude' as a lullaby, because she loved The Beatles."

"I sometimes fear that my mother would be disappointed in me for my sexual preferences."

Dean turned himself towards Castiel, resting one leg more comfortably on the step above. "Cas, when you got bad grades, did your mom yell at you?"

"No."

Dean nodded, "When you were beat up by your siblings or cousins picked on you, did she comfort you?"

"Yes."

"Did your uncle or cousins ever do any of that for you?"

"No."

Dean raised his hand as if to show some invisible fact. "Than there you go; moms' love you no matter what choices you make." Castiel watched Dean for a long moment before nodding slowly.

Turning away Castiel looked over the yard, taking another sip of his coffee. "Thank you Dean."

"That's what I'm here for."

They headed inside soon after that, Dean getting a cup of coffee while Castiel went to the stove where a large pile of tin foil wrapped pancakes sat. Picking up a small piece of paper Castiel started to read, "'Morning boys. Figured you guys would sleep in. So we fed Zepp and I made you some pancakes before I went off to work.'..." Castiel paused before continuing, his voice unnaturally tender. "'Love you guys, miss you already. xoxo -Jess'" Castiel got strangely silent after that, kind of just standing there and re-reading the note.

Noticing Castiel's stillness Dean walked over, his free hand reaching out to touch Castiel on the shoulder. "You okay Cas?"

Castiel stayed silent, unmoving to Dean's touch.

"Cas?" Dean's voice must has registered as panicky because Castiel handed over the note.

Dean read the stupid thing and couldn't find anything wrong or troubling about it. "Yeah Cas, Jessica wrote it, what's wrong?"

"She said she loved us."

Oh. Dean didn't need to know Castiel's reasoning, he knew it was a hard thing to accept; someone's love and Jessica loved like no other. She threw her heart into everything, just like Sam and sometimes just like Dean.

Instead of answering Castiel's comment Dean just patted him on the shoulder before grabbing one of the tin foil wrapped pancakes, unwrapping and then shoving it into his mouth. "She's a lover, not a fighter Cas." He mumbled, smiling slightly like a chipmunk, which gained a small smile from Castiel at least.

* * *

It was about noon when Dean stuffed his guitar into the car, Zepp following after with Dean and Cas jumping in as well. There was no way in hell they were going to work today, Dean dressed casual and Castiel was still swimming in Dean's left over clothing and old football hoodie. So they hit the road, heading towards Dean's apartment.

Dean's apartment because Castiel didn't have a home; not anymore.

"Hey Cas?" Dean turned towards his friend right after they hit the road.

"Yes Dean?" Castiel turned slightly to look at Dean, his brow furrowed slightly.

"Where are you going to be staying?" It was innocent enough of a question to ask and Castiel shrugged, "Most likely with Gabriel and Pamela until I find a suitable place."

Dean had to basically scream at himself not to offer Castiel to stay at his place, so he did the next best thing, "Won't you get tired of them?"

Castiel actually laughed at that, not a real laugh but something that had the potential to be one one day. "Oh I am sure I will tire of them quickly. They constantly fight each other break objects around the house. But they love each other so it's nothing to truly be concerned about."

Well than.... "You know if you get too tired of them you can just crash at my place." Castiel shook his head at that, "I would not want to impose myself on yo-"

Dean wasn't having any of that shit, not today, not with what happened. "Cas, you're family. Impose all you want."

Castiel rolled his eyes and rolled down the car window, allowing the cool air to come in. "As you wish Dean." With that Dean reached over and turned on the radio, allowing them both a break from each other.

_I rolled on, the sky grew dark_   
_I put my pedal down to make some time_   
_And there's something good waitin' down this road_   
_And I'm picking up whatever is mine_

_Yeah, runnin' down a dream_   
_Never would come to me_   
_Workin' on a mystery_   
_Goin' wherever it leads_   
_I'm runnin' down a dream_

They allowed the music to cover the majority of their time in the car, both humming and or singing depending on the song. It wasn’t until they reached the outskirts of the city that Castiel’s phone started to ring in annoyance.

It was obvious that Castiel was unsure about answering the caller but the moment he read the caller ID he flicked the green button and held it to his ear, “Sam?”

Dean’s head whipped around to look at Castiel, “My Sam? He ok?” Castiel shook his head and mouth towards Dean ‘Not your Sam’. He turned himself towards the windshield and stared out at the road, his brow furrowing. “Yes they did… I left with my partner…We went to his brother’s house…No… I believe we’re going to his apartment…” Whatever Samandriel asked caused Castiel to sit up straighter and his eyes to flick towards Dean before right out the window. “No, my business partner... Yes Sam... No Sam... Bad... Talk to Gabriel about it... Yes, text me when you figure it all out... And I you Samandriel. Goodbye." Castiel removed the phone from his ear, ending the call as he did so.

Dean, being a curious son of a bitch, turned towards Castiel, his eyes darting to the road every now and than to see that he wasn't running into anything. "Everything good?"

Castiel's response was to let out a sarcastic chuckle, roll down the window and pop another cigarette between his lips before lighting. "Describe 'good'?" Castiel turned towards Dean as he blew out the smoke from the corner of his mouth and holy shit Dean would have to savor the way the smoke curled around the corner of Castiel's mouth. Dean licked his own lips slightly without realizing it, Castiel's eyes moved from Dean's to look down and that was when Dean remembered what they were talking about before.

"Good as in no one is dying." Dean deadpanned,ignoring what Cas did to his insides.

Castiel snorted and shook his head, "You are certainly one of a kind." He mused to himself as he took another drag, "As for my situation, everything is 'good' by your definition. It appears that Michael and Lucifer decided it would be best to inform the whole family of my 'outburst' yesterday. Samandriel was nice enough to tell me." Castiel took another drag, closing his eyes as he rested his head against the car seat. "He's is on his school break and wishes to visit soon and since I am unable to house him he will probably be staying with Gabriel. Which means the house will be way too occupied for my tastes."

He shrugged and looked at Dean, "Would it be possible for me to impose on you for a couple days until Samandriel goes back to New Jersey?" He looked hopeful. Dean couldn't help but to roll his eyes and let a small smile escape his lips.

"You're acting like I didn't just offer you to stay full time at my place." He shook his head and snorted, trying to ignore his own underlying subtext. "Yes, of course Cas."

"Thank you Dean, really."

"Yeah, yeah. Stop with the chick flick moments Cas."

* * *

They got to Dean's place soon after that,  walking Zepp before making their way upstairs into the apartment. When the door swung open Zepp went right to the couch, quickly jumping up and claiming it as her own. Dean made a beeline for his kitchen, grabbing two beers and throwing one towards Castiel, who caught it with ease. Dean tipped his beer towards Castiel as a sort of salute before cracking it open and downing a good half of it.

Dean rested against his counter and watched as Castiel finished the whole bottle in three gulps. The man could swallow... Dean's brain immediately went to the dirtiest thing it could think of. Dean had to calm his body down by thinking of something calming. Like dead puppies or Bobby in a speedo.

That effectively killed the heat pooling in his gut.Castiel's next sentence also helped keep Dean's blood from traveling south, "I have to go and get my stuff."

Dean tried to keep the best poker face he could as he nodded, "Alright. You need me to help you?" Castiel gave Dean a look at that comment before shaking his head.

"No that will not be needed, but thank you." Castiel stripped off Dean's sweater, folded the thing and placed it on the counter carefully.  "I will see you later Dean." He looked over at the other man with some sort of emotion in his eyes as Dean grunted out out a goodbye. The blue eyed agent turned, leaving Dean's apartment without another word.

To say that Dean was lost without his partner is a gross understatement. This was the worst part of Dean's day. After spending so much time with Castiel, after sharing sacred secrets he was virtually lost. So, doing the best that he could with the little amount of willpower he had he locked himself in his bedroom away from Zepp with his Castiel-smelling hoodie.

He was not a girl. Nope.

The hoodie smelled like Castiel, like cigarettes and that unique male smell that Cas emitted and god damn Dean missed him. Dean groaned into the fabric, feeling the slow void of loneliness grow as his brain traveled to a thousand places all at once.

Dean knew Castiel well enough to know that he wouldn't go back to Glen, there was no way that Castiel would lower himself to that point. The only problem was that... Castiel would therefore be single. It was totally different to pine after a taken man who deserved better than his current boyfriend and to pine after a single man who deserved better than Dean.

Dean groaned into his pillow; there was no way he'd come out of this on top. He'd pine after Castiel and maybe Cas would fall for Dean for a short while, but then he'd realize that Dean was that slob boyfriend who left his socks in the sink and drank too much and was way too overprotective and than he'd leave and go after someone better. Someone he could relate better to; someone who deserved Castiel's love.

Dean knew that the old hoodie would be too tight to wear with Dean's grownup body, he had filled out more over the years, bulking in some areas and becoming softer in others. So, keeping it as Cas had wrapped it Dean placed it under his head as a makeshift pillow. Curling in on himself Dean wrapped his large comforter around his body and fell asleep with the smell of smoke and Castiel filling his mind.

 


	6. Apartments, Boxes and Little Brothers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, this chapter involves 4/20, you know the stoner holiday, because Dean has mentioned smoking several times in canon!verse. I understand that some people won't be comfortable with that and that's why I kinda skipped over it. If people really want to know that happened I could write a ficlet of it, separate from this work (it'd be it's own) so if you want it tell me :)
> 
> Also the Green Day thing, I don't know if you guys listen/know the classic rock channel but Green Day's song Good Time plays on it every once and awhile. Because Samandriel is a different generation I figured it would work. Plus, sometimes life can just have corny naturally sooo~
> 
> Just like always, if there is something wrong with the spelling/grammer tell me :)

Dean's dreams that night consisted of the recurring theme of late; Castiel. This time it was different, there was no sex, no heart to heart, no blood, it was just…them.

They were sitting in an empty coffee shop. Dean’s coffee was black while Castiel’s was that sugary sweet mess it always was. Dean was laughing at something Castiel had said but for the life of him he couldn’t remember what it was. Castiel was laughing as well, his eyes crinkling at the sides as he showed that gummy, rare smile he had. Cas raised his coffee to his lips still chuckling as he took a sip. Dean followed suit and tilted back his coffee as well before placing it back down to watch his partner. Cas had such nice hands, really nice hands, all slender and pale and delicate. But Dean knew they held power, they knew how to hold a gun; how to fight for life.

When Dean looked up from his hand investigation he met Castiel’s orbs staring him down. Suddenly feeling embarrassed at getting caught, Dean reached for his coffee and took a sip, watching the black liquid pool towards the lower side. Finishing his coffee, he placed the cup down and now being unable to distract himself, he looked back up at Castiel. Cas was still staring, his eyes soft and gentle as ever.

The dream ended with Dean smiling sheepishly at Castiel.

* * *

When Dean got to work that morning he was greeted by a mouthful of blonde hair as Becky jumped him, her arms and legs encircling his neck and waist. “Dean!’ She screamed, hiding her face into his shoulder as she squeezed him to death.

“Whoa Becky,” Dean was floored at her elation at seeing him. “It’s only been two days.” He finished as he smoothed her hair back, trying to get a good look her face. Becky grumbled something into his suit jacket and Dean made her repeat herself, "What was that?"

Becky removed her face from his suit jacket only a little before repeating herself, "Those two agents. The Novak boys..." Dean didn't like where this was going. "They were mean."

Dean craned his head to get a better look into Becky's eyes, suddenly having a sinking feeling in his stomach, "What happened?"

Becky frowned and sighed, "They came over to my desk when you left and they kept asking me about you and Castiel..." She sighed again and removed her face from his shoulder. "I didn't tell them anything and they got mad. Really mad. So the attractive black haired one, I think his name was Michael, started to insult me. He said he knew that I was just a lonely girl with no prospects outside of work and that I'd be alone with just my cat until I died." She rested her forehead against the dark fabric once more. "The other one, Luke, joined in and they were just so mean and..."

And they made her cry. Dean knew it, she didn't have to go on explaining that because there was no other outcome. "Why didn't you tell me before?" Dean would be mad at not being informed if Becky didn't look still upset.

Becky at this time let out a little broken laugh and shook her head, "Because you were with Castiel... and I didn't want to ruin that." Dean thought he felt bad before, but now he felt horrible.

"Why wouldn't I want to know how you were doing? I asked you."

Becky shook her head and raised a hand to his hair, patting it ever so gently. "I didn't say that Dean. I just didn't want to get you more worried. It's not your job to protect me from the truth."

Well, okay so it wasn't in his contract to protect Becky from assholes but still. It was in his brain, she was some form of family.

"Becky, I don't care if I'm having sex with Dr. Sexy. If you have a problem, you freakin' tell me okay?"

Becky laughed at that and rolled her eyes, Dean's stubbornness helping her mood apparently. "What if you were having sex with Castiel?"

Dean was silent for a moment, "First of all that'd never happen. Second, you're both family."

Becky snorted and shook her head, "'Never happen.' okay Dean, keep being delusional."

* * *

They talked for a little while after that, Becky telling him how she had went out with Charlie and Gilda and went bowling and how that had helped her mood. Soon it was eight am and Dean hadn't even made it to his office yet.

So, Dean excused himself and made his way towards to his personal four walls. Upon entering Dean noticed two things, one the lights were out and two Castiel wasn't in the office.

Dean's stomach dropped.

Pulling out his phone he checked his messages only to find that they were empty; so Cas hadn't texted him... Dropping off his laptop case he turned himself right around and went straight to Bobby's office, knocking on the door before entering.

Bobby was working on his computer (he used a desktop computer unlike pretty much everyone in the office). He looked up at Dean and frowned, "Whacha' want boy?" Dean was pretty satisfied that Bobby wasn't even bothering to act like his boss this moment, which meant that Dean was free to fling himself into one of the office chairs; which he did.

"Bobby, did Cas call in today?" Dean tried to hide his growing concern because he was pretty sure Castiel would have texted him if he wasn't coming in. But there was hope.

Bobby's permanent frown went even deeper as his wrinkled face filled with confusion. "Castiel isn't here?"

Dean's stomach dropped and started to dig it's way to China. "No." Dean was trying to keep his cool but he stopped his lounging in the chair and sat up straight, his elbows on his knees.

"Ya got any idea where he'd be?" Bobby's voice was calm, that kind of calm he used when Dean and Sam had been kids and Sam had stayed out too late with his friends. Great.

Dean shook his head and ran his thumb over his ring as he thought. "Not a clue." Dean paused and blinked, "Well..." He bit the inside of his lip as he continued to think, "Maybe he's with his brother."

Bobby nodded, "Why don't cha' give him a call and stop worrying. Agent Novak is a big boy; he can handle himself."

Dean wasn't so sure about that.

With that the conversation was over and Dean left the office, making a beeline for the office once again as he pulled out his phone. Pushing away the thought that he was that overprotective, paranoid girlfriend he called Castiel.

There was no answer. Dean tried again. No answer. Deciding that he could totally send one text to Castiel without seeming creepy he typed out text and sent it.

 

April 17, 2013, 8:10 AM

Hey Cas, where are  
you man? You ok?

 

* * *

Dean spent a good two hours working on the details of a case in Canyon City, Oregon. He didn't need to drive out there for this kind of shit. It was obvious that it was a cult and that all the town cops had to do was watch the Swift farm's goats and they'd be able to figure it out.

Dean spent a good twenty minutes on the phone with the sheriff of that town, trying to explain that cults were real and that they were stupid and all they had to do was arrest them and the goats would stop dying.

Welcome to the big bad world of FBI (okay, he was working on this case because Bobby had grounded him and this was a form of torture). Dean was almost done with his phone call when the office door burst open and a rather pissed off looking Castiel came in, sporting some bruises on his neck.

"I have to go sir. Good bye." Dean didn't give the man a second more of his attention and hung up; walked right over to Castiel. "What the fuck happened?"

Castiel tried to fix his suit jacket but only succeeded in ruffling it up even more. "Glen." He growled out and Dean saw red.

"What did he do to you?" Dean was pissed, physically shaking but Castiel just snorted, shaking his head like this was some kind of joke.

"I went over to apologize, he came on to me..." Castiel shrugged, walking over to his desk and sitting down, opening his bag and pulling out his laptop. "I was alright with that but then he tried to..." Castiel seemed embarrassed, like he hadn't meant to say this but knowing it was too late now. "...things ended up badly, so I took my stuff and left."

Dean needed to sit down, so he sat down in the chair in front of Castiel's desk and controlled his breathing. "You get all your stuff?"

Castiel nodded at this, not looking over at Dean but instead keeping his eyes on his laptop. "I did. I had to drop it all off at Jesse's before coming here."

Dean nodded at this, taking a moment to look over Cas. It didn't take long for Dean to realize that some of the bruises on his neck were from bite marks and some, the very faintest of them, were long finger tips. Dean's emotional state plummeted at the sight of the bite marks but was soon lost by the rage at the finger bruises.

You only got those from two things, being strangled or really hardcore sex. Dean doubted the latter because Castiel was way too pissed and stressed at the moment for him to have blissed out a couple of hours ago.

Dean was thinking of if he should pay Glen-fucking-Washington a visit when Castiel's voice cut through the air, waking him out of the beginnings of a day dream involving beating the shit out of Glen. "Dean."

Dean blinked and moved his eyes from Castiel's neck and up to his face, he still wasn't looking at Dean. "Yeah Cas?"

"Stop staring."

Whoops. Dean's face heated up ever so slightly as he nodded and stood up, walking to his desk.

They spent the rest of the day in an awkward silence, Dean still pissed at Glen and Castiel feeling awkward for whatever reason he was.

It was time to leave when Bobby walked in and stared at the two. "Good both of you are here." Both agents raised their eyes to Bobby as the superior continued, "I got you two a job."

* * *

As it turns out, Dean and Castiel didn't get home until the next day at about one in the morning. And every day of the week both he and Castiel were busy; so busy, matter of fact, that Zepp stayed with Sam the entire time until Friday.

Despite the fact that they were together constantly, they stayed almost formal, well at least on Castiel's side. He kept whatever happened between him and Glen close to himself even when Dean had pulled the Impala over and asked him if they were going to talk about it. They didn't and Dean let it drop because of the look in Castiel's eyes when he had brought it up. As if to make it better for Castiel, Dean started sharing stories about him, Sam and Bobby.

Like that time when Karen was still alive and they all went out to the park. Bobby had brought a bat and a couple baseball mitts and they had played baseball the entire time until Sam had gotten all bitchy. They than decided it was time they sat down and had a picnic with Karen. He kept out the fact that a month after this Karen had been diagnosed with stage one Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia, that not part of his happy memory collection.

Castiel seemed to enjoy these stories, of course he tried to school his face as best as he could. However the moment that Dean told Castiel he had once used sunscreen to write 'I like big booties' on Sam's back when he was tanning Castiel had broken out into such uncontrollable laughter his face had gone bright red. This expression got Dean laughing hysterically as well and before they knew it they had to pull over quickly to laugh it out and ended up at a burger joint.

This is how their week went; of course they had work, they had to fire off a couple of rounds and bag a few bad guys but they would have moments like this, moments where Dean would try everything in his power to make the other agent laugh. So when they were on their way back to work it wasn't that much of a surprise when Castiel turned towards Dean and voiced a question; "Dean, may I... 'hide out'" He did those little air quote things with his hands, "at your place this weekend? Gabriel wishes to clean his house without my constant interference."

Dean was about to respond with a resounding 'Hells yeah' when he remembered what Saturday's date was.

Well Shit.

"Uh Cas..." Dean licked his lips in discomfort, his eyes flicking towards Castiel to see the worry plastered there, "Do you know what Saturday's date is?"

"April 20th." Castiel's brow furrowed at that, suddenly confused. "Why?"

"Dude." Dean started, shocked at Castiel not realizing what this Saturday was. "It's four-twenty."

"Yes Dean, I just said that."

Sometimes (the majority of the time actually) Castiel's naïveté was adorable, right now however it wasn't. Dean kind of just sat there, shaking his head. "Man Cas, It's weed smoking day."

"Oh." It was obvious it didn't click at first but after a moment it did. _"Oh!"_ Dean wouldn't miss the look of realization that passed over Castiel's face for the world. Okay yeah, Castiel's naïveté was back to being on the adorable scale.

Dean snorted and nodded slightly at Castiel's reaction, turning his head back towards the road. "Yeah."

For a long moment there was only the soft sounds of The Rolling Stones throughout the car but sure enough Castiel spoke up; "I see no problem with that."

Dean was pretty sure he'd have a crick in his neck for a week with the speed he whipped his head around. "Wait what?"

Castiel repeated himself, "I see no problem with spending April 20th at your apartment even with your intake of illegal drugs."

"Oh" Dean couldn't help the smile crossover "Awesome."

* * *

When Dean got home with Cas (they had stopped at Jesse's so Castiel could pick up some clothing) Zepp was waiting at the door and mowed Dean down like a steamroller; causing him to knock his head against the hard white wall. "Easy Girl!"

Dean had to heave the big mound of fur and muscle off his chest and even then he only made it to his kneels before the next wave of dog attacked him. Dean gave Zepp as much love as she wanted before she changed her interest to Castiel. It was an odd thing to see, she only seemed to be excited to see Dean, Sam and sometimes Jessica but right now she approached Castiel with almost as much gusto as she would Dean. She didn't knock him over or anything of that sort but she did manage to convince him to kneel down so she could jump up and rest her paws on his shoulders, licking his face happily.

Dean couldn't help but feel two things, one was jealousy that Zepp liked someone else besides him, and two (and the more predominate of the two emotions) was an overwhelming sense that Castiel really did belong in his family.

Castiel was making the best face ever in existence when Dean hoisted himself up with a little grunt and left the hall, going into the apartment and leaving Castiel to fend all by himself against the love of Zepp.

Walking into the kitchen Dean picked up the letter that Sam wrote him It wasn't long (by Sam standards) but still, it did take Dean a couple seconds to read (Sam also had horrible lawyer handwriting).

 

_Dean-_

_You told me you'd be home today but I wasn't sure of what time you'd be back so I let Zepp out at about two and fed her dinner then as well. As for tomorrow (yeah Andy keeps bringing it up and don't even think I forgot the 4/20 catastify in '96) I went out and got you enough food to actually fill your cabinets and fridge. You really should actually work on keeping food in your place since, you know, Cas has been hanging around a lot more. Don't need a single man like that think you're actually a lazy jerk or something like that. Speaking of Cas, how's he holding up? He doing any better?_   
  
_Alright I have to be in court to deal with this Walker vs. Harris case. Text me when you're home._

_-Sam_

 

Dean snorted and reread the note before crumpling it up and tossing it into the garbage. Once that was done Dean went to check out the fridge and holy shit was Sam not lying. The thing was packed, Sam had even put a pie in there; Dean thanked his lucky stars that his brother was raised right.

"Dean." Castiel's voice came from the outside hall, sounding rather distressed; "A little help here."

When Dean walked out into the hall he saw that somehow Zepp had managed to get her huge self on top of Castiel. resting her entire body on his chest and successfully holding him down to the spot. Dean laughed at this before walking the rest of the way over and pulling Zepp off of Castiel by her collar. Holding a hand out to Castiel he pulled his partner up off the ground. Time seemed to stop the moment that Castiel was up and was staring directly into Dean's eyes.

Sweet Virgin Mary, sometimes Dean needed to remind himself that Castiel wasn't really an angel, that he wasn't some angelic god that came down to Washington DC to grace Dean with his presence because right now; he was pretty convinced Castiel was.

They stood there for god knows how long, their hands locked in that awkward way that hands are when you pull someone up; that is until a door from the other side of the curved hallway opened up and the sounds of yapping chihuahua filled the air. Dean let go of Castiel's hand like it burned him and clears his throat, nodding his head towards the apartment.

Zepp, bless her soul, had already gone into the apartment to hide from that demon chihuahua. Zepp hated chihuahuas, Dean was convinced she was afraid of them and just covered it up as hatred.

The two agents walked into the apartment now, Castiel making a beeline for the couch while Dean went into his bedroom to grab an actual blanket for Castiel. Bringing it back into the living room Castiel hadn't wasted any time getting ready, taking his shoes off along with his button down. He currently was in the process of taking off his belt. Dean had to count to ten backwards and think of freaking Baba Yaga and her ugly chicken legged house to calm himself down. But it was hard too, just the way that Castiel's wrist snapped the shiny leather from his pants with such expert ease and how his fingers looked as he used them to guide the leather into a neat little roll.

BABA YAGA WITH HER DEFORMED, CROOKED NOSE THAT SHAKES THE HOUSE WHEN SHE SLEEPS AND WHO FLYS AROUND ON A FREAKING MORTAR (seriously who does that? Freakin’ mythology man). Ew. Okay, that was good enough.

“Dean are you okay? You look a little ill…” Castiel’s voice broke through the ending of Dean’s thoughts and brought him back to the living room and the 80% dressed Castiel.

Dean cleared his throat and nodded, “Yeah, I’m just remembering Baba Yoga.” It was true, let’s just hope that Castiel didn’t ask him why he thought of her.

“The Slavic witch?” Castiel questioned, his mythological knowledge making Dean smile, “Yeah exactly.”

Castiel snorted and stretched himself out more on the couch; it was strange to see how this constantly posture-correct agent was relaxing in Dean’s small and kind of warm living room. "Would we be able to watch the Lord of the Rings now?”

Dean chuckled to himself and nodded, turning his back to Castiel and searching his blu-ray collection. Realizing that the large collector’s edition of The Lord of the Rings was actually below his tv he sighed and pushed the entertainment center’s glass doors to the side as he reached in and grabbed the container. Straightening himself up and fixing his shirt he popped open the case. Taking the first DVD out Dean slid it into the blu-ray player before placing the box down and turning to Castiel.

For some reason Castiel’s relaxed position had changed, he sat there awkward and was avoiding Dean's eyes like the plague. “I’m- ah… gonna go make popcorn.” Dean offered, going into the kitchen and to escape that little awkward moment. As soon as Dean ripped open the crinkly plastic of the microwaveable popcorn he heard the door to his bathroom close with a little click of the lock to follow it.

Huh. Maybe Cas had gas or something… hehe gas. Dean’s subconscious must be aware of the fact he was being a little immature because the next thing he knew and his brain was conjuring up Sam’s bitch face.

Well shit.

The popcorn finished and Dean poured the double buttered extra salted popcorn into a large bowl. After a short moment of consideration Dean decided it was best if he made another bag of popcorn; which he did. He didn’t add any extra butter or salt but simply mixed the two bags together with his hands. After washing his hands of all the butter and salt he picked the bowl up and grabbed two beers.

Turning out of the kitchen and going through small dining room Dean reentered the living room, making a slight right he was toe to toe with the couch; which Castiel still wasn’t sitting in. Dean looked towards the bathroom and frowned, he wanted to call out to his partner but he decided it’d be better not to so he sat down and grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoved it into his mouth.

Realizing that this was one of the more stupid ideas he’s had in while, he placed the bowl down and went to get napkins.

Dean suspected that the apartment would be eerily quiet if not for the intro music of The Fellowship of the Ring playing over and over again.

When he came back with a roll of brown paper towels (he decided this would be the best option for his manly messes), Castiel was sitting on the couch, wearing a pair of sweats and a new shirt.

Dean silently cursed himself, before Castiel had been wearing a white muscle-t that would have granted him a little bit of a hint to what the dark inked secret was. But no, Castiel had gone for a grey-blue colored T-shirt that made it virtually impossible to see his back. Great, claps all around.

However, there was something good about all of this, Castiel seemed to relax once more when he was in his sweats, melting into the large couch. Dean pressed the play button and passed Cas a beer before getting to his feet and walking to his own room. Dean could feel Castiel’s eyes on him the whole time but he didn’t acknowledge it.

* * *

 

Dean walked out of his bedroom and into the living room just as Frodo meets Gandalf. Oh good, he didn’t miss the firecracker dragon scene. He plopped himself down next to Cas and got himself comfortable, if that involved placing his arm on the back of the couch well everyone could suck it; he’s comfortable that way.

Castiel didn’t seem to mind the closeness; he was obviously starting to loosen up again (he should be, he ended up having both the beers and Dean had ended up just bringing the six pack out). It was just when the Fellowship had reached Moria (The Dwarvian city) when Castiel placed down his half empty beer with a sigh.

Dean looked over at Castiel out of the corner of his eye and didn't believe his ears when Castiel finally spoke his mind, "Dean, I am sorry if this is an awkward topic for you but how is it you don't have a significant other?"

Dean blinked at that, well that was unexpected. "I...uh..." Dean rubbed the back of his head, ignoring the heat that rushed to his ears. Just that moment Pippin accidently knocked the body into the well, causing the orcs to swarm and the conversation dropped; thank god.

* * *

They got to finish The Two Towers before it was bedtime. Dean felt funny even thinking that statement, but it was true. They were going to bed... at a proper hour... in different parts of the apartment, Dean felt like he was a 30 year old having a sleepover.

Castiel got ready for bed before Dean, so while he busy Dean walked around the apartment, pulling out all the stuff he needed for tomorrow's activities.

Grabbing his bubbler from the coat closet and his stash from his bedroom closet, Dean moved them into his sock drawer. By that time Castiel was out of the bathroom and it was free for Dean's use.

Dean did his bathroom business (floss, gargle, brush teeth, etc) and came out to see Castiel already laying down with Zepp firmly placed over his legs, her head resting on his hip. What a lucky bitch. Dean padded the rest of the way over and give Zepp a good night pet before realizing that Castiel was still awake and was watching him. Feeling embarrassed Dean smiled sheepishly and gave Cas a little wave. "Night Cas."

Cas smiled softly at that and waved back, "Good night Dean."

Wow, if Dean didn't know better he'd say he definitely reverted back to his high school years.

* * *

 

Four-Twenty, was by far one of Dean's most favorite days in his life; ever. The day started out easy, he made breakfast, got baked, ate breakfast, jumped onto Castiel to wake him up.

Cas was obviously annoyed with him at first but he seemed to open up to him after a while and by two in the afternoon; Castiel wanted to try the 'marijuana'.

What happened that day was a long story, and too ridiculous for Dean to even think about. But to cut it short, Dean had never, ever, seen Castiel so ridiculous, his hair all messy and his blue eyes a thousand times stronger with the fact they were red rimmed.

That day Dean learned way too much about Castiel to process; like how Gabriel used to get high all the time in their uncle's house in their cousins' rooms to make their uncle mad at their cousins and not the surrogate children. He learned that Castiel had an extreme love for small animal figurines, bees and that bouncy balls made him act like a cat. Cas also apparently loved to just eat those stupid ice cream cones you bring home when you have kids (and apparently a Cas as well).

They ended up going to wal-mart and playing with the bouncy balls and stealing about half of the animal figurines and when someone stopped them they just flashed their FBI badges and they were left alone.

All in all, their day was fucking rad.

* * *

Sunday however, was their relax day. They had to re-watch the last of the trilogy, Return of the King, since they had watched it while they were high as balls and they hadn't been able to keep themselves from laughing their asses off. So, that morning after walking Zepp in their pjs (yeah they're such dorks), they made their way back inside and crashed on the couch, a pie between them as they watched the movie for the second time.

They really shouldn't have watched this movie while they were high; it was such a bad idea. Because when Denethor killed himself Castiel just burst out into laughter, holding his sides. It took awhile for Dean to remember what Cas was laughing at but the moment he remembered that when Denethor had jumped the first time Dean had screamed 'cannonball'! Unable to control himself he started to chuckle  with Cas and they had to pause the movie to just laugh it all out.

Castiel even teared up a little bit and wiped the excess water from his eye to look at Dean and smile, it was awesome that they didn't have to talk to understand each other; they just got each other like that and Dean nodded slightly to Cas and at the same time they screamed "CANNONBALL." They erupted into laughter once again and had to hold onto their sides until they calmed down.

Once they did both men flung themselves into the couch, moving slightly so they were more comfortable. Dean was pretty sure but best guy friends shouldn't have their knees touching and one of them shouldn't have an arm on the back of the couch around the other. But Dean was never good at these things.

The movie ended and they decided it was lunch time. Dean so didn't want to make anything, and Cas didn't either. So, they packed up, got dressed and walked down the street to the Chipotles a couple blocks away. It was an average Sunday in April, reasonable weather, pretty empty streets, things like that. Dean loved it, he loved walking next to Castiel as the other man smoked, he loved that the smoke would roll into his face and it gave him an excuse to peek at Castiel.

Castiel seemed as at ease as Dean did, he walked easily, not in any rush, enjoying his cigarette with a look of contemplation on his face.

"What's up Cas?" Dean broke through whatever Castiel was thinking and the other agent looked towards Dean.

Cas smiled slightly and shrugged, "I find it very... interesting... that my family warned me about the Winchesters and as it turns out; I'm spending the majority of my waking hours with you and your family." He huffed in amusment as he took another drag and breathed it out away from Dean. "I also find it amusing how you and your family have been so welcoming to me in the last month and a half than my family ever was."

Well shit, what do you say to that?

"Oh." And Dean's brilliance strikes again! Thank god that Castiel understood Dean even a little because he nodded and smiled to himself, allowing that to be a reasonable response.

* * *

They got in and out of Chipotles in record time, and started back to the apartment holding the tin wrapped burritos from God himself. "Dean, what are we going to watch now?"  Castiel's voice was small and worried, like all of a sudden he was worried he couldn't be over anymore.

Dean ignored that worry and the small pang it gave Dean and he shrugged, "Dunno. We'll think of something when we get back."

Cas nodded at this and once they get to the apartment they dug in. Of course whatever this was couldn't last forever because halfway through their god-like burritos Castiel's phone went off with the most annoying ringtone ever, Freaking Christina Aguilera's Candyman. Castiel sighed loudly and in a very dramatic way before placing his burrito down and answering his phone. "Yes Gabriel?"

Dean didn't need the phone on speaker, he could probably be in the room next door and still be able to hear Gabriel. "GUESS WHO'S HOME CASSIE?!"

Castiel winced at how loud Gabriel's sing-song voice was but he nodded, "Samandriel?"

"Yep! He misses you!" Gabriel's voice stayed sing-song but at least he lowered the volume. "So get your butt over here!" And with that, Gabriel hung up. Castiel stared at his phone for a long moment before placing the object down and continuing to eat his burrito.

"Shouldn't we, ah, go?" Dean asked, pointing towards the door. Castiel's aggravation seemed to lift completely away, though he tried to hide his emotions the best he could (as always). "You're coming too?"

Dean gave Castiel a 'No shit, Sherlock' look before actually dignifying that with a response, "You've met my family. I should meet the few people in your's you actually like."

Castiel's lips twitched at this and Dean noticed that Castiel ate a little faster just to get on the road.

* * *

Whatever Dean was expecting when they got to Jesse’s this wasn’t it. Both he and Cas walked in and the very moment they did Castiel was attacked by a man with short sandy brown hair, he was about the same height as Castiel. This kid (who must be Samandriel) was obviously younger than Csstiel with a baby doll face and childlike features.

“Cassie!” The younger called, giving Castiel one last brotherly hug as he grinned a child’s smile.

Castiel returned the smile easily and patted the boys shoulder, "Samandriel this is my partner Dean Winchester." He motioned towards Dean as Samandriel turned his attention from Castiel to Dean.

Samandriel held out his hand and gave Dean a large grin, "Hi Dean. I'm Castiel's younger brother."

Dean chuckled quietly at this and shook hands with the youngest Novak. "It's nice to meet the youngest in the Novak family." Dean teased, feeling like he could easily get used to this particular Novak as he already reminded him of Sammy.

Samandriel made a face at that however and glared at Castiel with the innocence of a younger sibling, "You define me as 'the youngest'?"

Castiel smirked as if this was some small victory before nodding, "As you are." Samandriel rolled his eyes and started towards the unoccupied bar; sitting down on a barstool and twirling around to face them.

Dean and Castiel both followed Samandriel to the bar. Castiel reached the bar first and took the chair to the right of Samandriel so Dean took the seat to Castiel's right.

Gabriel pranced out of the kitchen with three large cups of coffee and a big plate of what looked like fresh cinnamon buns; okay Dean liked the oldest Novak as well. Gabriel sat the coffees down in front of everyone, a caramel colored one for Castiel, black for Dean and a beige colored one in front of Samandriel. Dean whistled at seeing that and shook his head, "Please tell me there's some coffee in that."

Samandriel looked down at his cup and made a 'whoops' face. "Ahh-" He started, looking sheepishly at Castiel than Dean, "Maybe like one fourth."

Dean shook his head in disbelief and took a sip of his own black coffee. "I'm starting to think Cas is the only one that isn't addicted to sugar in your family."

Surprisingly Gabriel burst into laughter, having to hold himself on the counter for support. What also surprised Dean was Castiel's coughing on his coffee, his face flushing a bright, beet red. Samandriel looked as bewildered as Dean so they both stared at the other two trying to collect what little information they could about this.

"What the hell is going on!?" Samandriel finally yelled when Gabriel had paused his laughter to look at Cas and then broke out in a fresh wave of laughter.

Gabriel shook his head and continued to laugh; Castiel seemed to have enough of whatever was going on and settled for glaring at Gabriel. “Gabriel Novak,” Cas started, his face dark and actually frightening, “In the interest of your life you will remain silent.” Gabriel of course, seemed to find this even funnier and had to rest himself against the counter to keep himself from ending up on the floor. This pissed Cas off even more but he stayed silent, watching Gabriel with a hawk like expression. Gabriel moved his hand as to inform Cas not to worry.

Gabriel turned his attention towards Dean now however and still grinning like a Cheshire Cat stated, “Best way to get information out of Cas is to get him drunk.”

“Gabriel!” Cas growled out, totally hostel now and in Dean’s opinion, totally hot.

Gabriel just waved his hand at Cas and shook his head, “Oh just relax Cassie-poo I won’t give away any of your deep, dark, drunken kinks.”

Cas look like he was ready to jump the counter and Gabriel must have noticed this as well because he started to back out towards the kitchen. The moment he disappeared behind the kitchen door they could hear him yelling, “Pam, baby! You’ll never guess what just happened!”

Dean turned to witness Castiel’s complete poker face as he glared at the kitchen door. Samandriel, who had been silent this whole time, looked at Castiel as well and frowned, “Now I remember why I hid in New Jersey.”

Castiel exhaled and nodded before mumbling, “Now I’m getting flashbacks of all the times Gabe made me feel like a freak.”

Dean suddenly didn’t find this situation all too funny anymore. Straightening in his seat he growled out, “You’re not a freak Cas.” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a comment, it was a promise and when Cas looked over at him he locked eyes with his partner; making sure Cas understood how serious Dean was being about this.

After a moment Cas nodded and looked away, but it was obvious there was some pain behind his eyes, long lost and forgotten pain that reared its ugly head every now and again. Dean had no idea what to say or do but Castiel seemed to decide for him when he stood up and started for the door with his coffee in his hands. Samandriel made to get up but apparently Cas had been expecting one of them to stand up so he called over his shoulder. “I will be back. Just give me a moment.” And with that Castiel left the room, leaving Dean and Samandriel together and in an awkward silence.

Dean shifted slightly in his seat at this uncomfortable atmosphere and was seriously considering reaching over the bar to grab a beer when Samandriel spoke up, “So you and Cas hang out a lot?”

Dean felt like it might be a bad idea to answer this particular question so he decided that being evasive would be the best route. “Well, since we’re partners we have to be around each other constantly.”

Samandriel seemed to read right past this however, and just wouldn’t let this go for whatever reason. “Yes I understand that but…” He looked back and forth a couple times before leaning over more towards Dean and lowering his voice as if he was telling him a some super secret or something of those sorts. “But Castiel doesn’t really make a lot of friends.” He moved away from Dean to take a sip of his coffee before sliding a seat over to talk to him better. “And those that he does allow into the well-tailored circle of friends he always takes care of.”

Dean rolled his shoulders ever so slightly as if to try and roll this conversation off of his shoulders. It was getting increasingly awkward for him, this was all leading up to something and he had no idea what.

“And obviously you’re one.” Dean stated, deciding that it was not too early to grab a cool beer on a Sunday, after all if Castiel got to smoke, he got to drink. Right?

He popped the bottle cap off easily against the counter before taking a nice swig of it and looking towards Samandriel who shook his head, “Yes but then again, so are you.”

Silence fell over the two, Samandriel picked back up on eating his cinnamon buns while Dean downed as much of his beer as he could to keep this from getting too awkward.  Samandriel however seemed to want to continue this conversation; even if Dean wasn't comfortable with it but just as he started with "I was wondering..." the door opened and Castiel walked in.

Samandriel looked over at Castiel and blinked, moving quickly from Castiel's seat next to Dean and back into his old one, grabbing his plate of cinnamon buns. Castiel seemed to be curious as to what was going on but didn't ask instead he turned towards Samandriel; "Sam. I have a lot of books I need to get rid of and I was wondering if you would like to take some off my hands."

Samandriel looked over at Castiel like he was crazy; which was funny because Samandriel's cheeks were all puffed out from stuffing his face with cinnamon bun. "What?" He mumbled out, looking at Castiel with a worried expression. He swallowed his food down and turned himself more towards Cas. "Are you okay? Do you really want to?" Dean guessed this wasn't normal behavior for Cas so he turned to look at the man's face.

Castiel, suddenly self conscious (even though he was trying to hide it) looked down at his hands, "There's no room to keep them here. They are currently all in my car."

Samandriel seemed to still not believe this and was shaking his head. "Castiel." He started, his brow furrowing, "You love your books."

"I know but I am incapable-"

Whatever Castiel was about to say was cut off by Dean, "Just leave them at my place." Both Novak's turned their attention towards Dean and so he quickly added, "You know, before you get your own place all set up."

There was a pause before anyone said anything, Castiel staring at Dean like he was looking directly into Dean's soul via his eyes. What was that saying again; 'Eyes are windows to the soul'? Dean had never really believed it was possible for someone to see his soul until he met Castiel, with his bright cerulean eyes that clawed their way to his soul and searched it like a trained bankrobber. Castiel was the reason the eye contact was eventually broken, he had licked his lips and of course, Dean's eyes traveled down to watch the pink muscle travel across Castiel's cracked lips. He couldn't help himself.

Right after that Castiel spoke up, dragging Dean's eyes away from his lips. "I would not wish to impose on you Dean."

Dean ripped his eyes away from Castiel's lips to roll them and turn towards his empty beer. Damn. He reached over the counter and grabbed another one, uncapping it and taking a swig. "Come on Cas, I already told you that you're family, it's not a big deal." He ignored how Samandriel seemed to sit up straighter at this as he continued, "Besides, I know you got a thing for your books and I'm not going to let you get rid of them just because you can't find the room here."

Castiel smiled that small shy thing he did on occasion and nodded, "This is greatly appreciated Dean. Thank you." He sounded so fucking thankful that Dean wanted to grab the other man and hug him as tightly as he could. Because it sounded like no one had ever done anything nice for him and Dean just couldn't even stomach that thought; the thought that someone wouldn't love Castiel enough to help him out. That no one was ever there to help Cas out just cause. Dean hated every single human being on Earth that never gave Cas the light of day.

"Cas, not for nothing, but if you keep saying thank you I might have to take back my offer." He was teasing, obviously, but Castiel shut up none the less and that hurt Dean more than Castiel thanking him.

* * *

They stayed until six that night, just talking. Samandriel had let slip that Castiel had often removed him from school when he was younger just so Castiel, Samandriel and Anna could go to the nearby lake. When Dean had asked why Gabriel didn't go with them the answer was that Gabriel was busy working; which in all honesty surprised Dean since Gabriel didn't seem like the worker in the family. But apparently, at one point he was the main provider. Dean discovered that, while Castiel was only the middle child, Samandriel looked up to him the most out of the entire family. That Castiel always did things in the best interest of the family as a whole and that he never gave up. He also noticed that whenever Dean was talking to Castiel Samandriel would get all quiet and... _study them._  It was slightly creepy but then again, the whole Novak family was a little off so he let it slide.

Castiel and Dean said their goodbyes soon after Gabriel removed himself from the kitchen and started singing horrible Ke$ha songs (all off key by the way).

The second they got into the car Dean had to remove the horrible tones of Gabriel by cranking up the radio. Rush's Freewill crackled through the speakers and the second Dean started to drive Castiel turned to him. "Can we move the books now?"

It took Dean's brain a second to remember what he had promised before but the moment he did he nodded, "Yeah sure. Where's your car?"

Castiel directed him to the back parking lot of Jesse's where his car was hidden under a overhang. Dean left the car running so that Rush could still be playing no problem as they moved the five very full, very heavy book boxes from one car to another.

_All preordained-_   
_A prisoner in chains-_   
_A victim of venomous fate._   
_Kicked in the face,_   
_You can't pray for a place_   
_In heaven's unearthly estate._

Once they were all packed and ready to go they piled into the car and took off towards Dean's apartment. It was a quiet drive (besides the loud music) but it was comfortable; neither man finding it necessary to say anything or make small talk.

Yeah, they were at that level with each other.

Castiel had rolled down the window and was smoking as Dean thought over the events. One thing in particular stuck out in his mind, making him think over the last couple of weeks. Castiel had slept over at his place more times than most people, the majority of Castiel's most priced possessions were packed into Dean's car and were going to be in his apartment just sitting there and Castiel was single and without a home.

It was so freaking tempting, it really was. Dean could hear himself asking Castiel out, asking him to stay at his place and not bothering getting an actual apartment. He could hear it. He could hear Castiel saying 'Well, of course Dean.' with that small smile he often got. But Dean could also picture how they'd start to fight afterwards, how Castiel would get pissed at Dean for being an overprotective boyfriend and how he'd eventually say 'This isn't going to work Dean. I'm leaving'. And how Castiel would leave their bureau and go to another one and leave Dean to crave the possibilities of them living together. So Dean didn't ask, he didn't bring it up and he didn't notice how Castiel was watching him with those two blue spot light eyes. Instead, Dean pulled into the alley adjacent to his apartment building and they unpacked the car before Dean went and parked the impala.

On his way back to the building Dean had to keep himself from going back to his previous thoughts, so instead he tried to remember what Samandriel had said about Castiel when he was a teenager.

"Castiel was one of those kids that no one messed with, which was so funny since he was part of the color guard!" Castiel had given Samandriel a glare at that but Samandriel just had grinned stupidly before continuing, "He stood out on the color guard though! He was the only one with an eyebrow piercing and a 'punk' hairstyle." Samandriel had laughed sadistically at that since Castiel's face turned a nice shade of magenta along with his neck. Dean had laughed as well when Samandriel had told him, and even now it didn't fail to bring a stupid grin to his face. He really hoped that Samandriel came through like he said he would and email him those pictures.

When Dean finally reached the alley again Castiel was sitting on one of the cardboard boxes, staring off into nothing. Once Dean was in five feet off the other man he looked up and frowned slightly, "How far away did you have to park?"

Dean shrugged slightly and grabbed his keys to unlock the large metal door to the basement level. "It's only a block away." Castiel nodded at this as he picked up one of the larger boxes and walked through the open door. Dean pushed the metal door open far enough that it locked itself and he was able to also bring the rest of the boxes in, placing them by the elevator.

Soon enough they pressed the elevator button and hustled all the boxes into the elevator, barely fitting themselves in, they waited until they were on Dean's floor before carefully removing themselves and the boxes. Being lazy, they slid the boxes on the stone ground until they reached Dean's apartment. Quickly unlocking the door, they shoved the boxes inside and into Dean's bedroom.

When Dean turned around a rather pissed off Zepp was waiting for him. Dean sometimes could swear she was like a paranoid girlfriend who would stay up until Dean got home. He walked over and offered her peace offering of a  good pet, which she accepted before licking his face off. She turned her attention to Castiel as he finished stacking the boxes in the corner.

Castiel smiled slightly at her and got down onto his knees, opening his arms for her and boy, was that a mistake. Zepp took this as a full on invitation to maul him with love. She booked it over to him, covering him with dog kisses and happy little puppy barks before licking his face off. Dean just laughed and shook his head before leaving them to start to make some dinner.

He had no idea what to make originally, and he was considering just having like a chinese food place deliver but then he remembered all that freaking pie Sam had left at his place for 4/20 and Dean knew exactly what they'd be eating for dinner. Grabbing the one left over pie he had he walked back into the livingroom and peaked through his bathroom into his bedroom. Zepp had calmed down and now was just lying across Castiel's lap as he whispered something to her.

Zepp was always really alert, she knew people's feelings before they were in the same room as her and now that Castiel was explaining whatever to her she seemed to look at him with those sad puppy eyes she only pulled out when something was really bad. Dean wanted to know but he knew that what Zepp knew wasn't exactly his business. It was kind of sad how Dean considered her a human, but how the hell could he not? She acted like a human the majority of the time... just with fur; kinda like Chewbacca.

Dean placed the pie and the two forks he had grabbed down on the coffee table and made some loud noise as he went through his movie collection. "Hey Cas!" He called, attracting the other man into the living room with Zepp at his heels.

"Yes Dean?" He asked, walking over and looking at the movie collection with Dean.

"Have you ever watched The Fifth Element?" Castiel shook his head and looked at the movie as Dean placed it in his hands.

"No I have not."

Dean grinned and nodded, turning on the tv as Castiel placed the blu-ray CD into the player and went over to the couch. "You're in for a treat." Dean grinned, the Fifth Element was one of his favorites. It had some of the best lines that could fit into any conversation.

The main menu of the busy streets of New York started to play with its Egyptian music and Castiel noticed the pie. "Is that dinner Dean?" When those Castiel's face was emotionless he could hear the sass in his voice.

Dean ignored it; "Yep."

"We're going to get fat, Dean." Castiel was now officially chiding him and Dean couldn't help but smile before shooting back, "Yeah well, at least it'll be for good reasons."

* * *

It was the moment that Leeloo jumped and hit Korben's car that Cas jumped slightly; making Dean openly laugh because it was so adorable. When Cas turned to him and glared, Dean pointed at the screen, "This is a great scene Cas! Watch!" Castiel turned his head towards the tv, his arms crossed but with a soft smile across his face. Dean loved this bit, the part when Korban and Leeloo first meet. Okay, so Dean had a soft spot for some couples, no need to go telling everyone.

He was shocked however when Castiel grabbed the pillow next to him and placed it against his chest; Charlie wasn't joking about Castiel liking chick flicks (not that this was one). "You can see it in his eyes already." Castiel mumbled out and Dean had to concentrate on the film just to not lean over and hug the shit out of him. Castiel got silent as Leeloo learned how to speak English and how Korban slowly started to feel more and more for the unknown woman.

Korban pulled away from the police and Cas grinned, "Knew it."

Dean laughed at this, "Going to make comments on this film aren't you?"

Castiel wrinkled his nose but Dean let it go, since one of his favorite quotes was coming up. Dean managed to quote at the same time as Korban "Listen lady, I only speak two languages: English and bad English!"

Castiel turned towards Dean and grinned the gummy grin, "Are you going to quote the whole movie to me, Dean?" If Dean blushed, he acted like he didn't but Castiel's gummy grin totally got bigger.

They remained reasonably silent until Korban went into for a kiss. The moment that Leeloo held the gun towards Korban and they had their huge 'short name' talk Castiel just ended up grinning like an idiot. "Korban reminds me of you." Dean made a face in shock, turning to look towards Castiel, "How? I'm no Bruce Willis."

Castiel shrugged and smiled to himself, "You just seem alike."

"You can explain that later." Dean motioned towards Castiel since this was the part when Korban got home and well this was important.

* * *

The movie ended with the choice couple getting together (of course) and the moment it ended Castiel stood up and walked to the window. Opening it all the way he pulled himself halfway through and opened his pack of cigarettes, taking one out and lighting it before saying anything. "Leeloo was right." Dean would be confused if Castiel had ended it right then and there but he didn't. "Humans do just make things to kill each other."

Of course Castiel would be stuck on that. Dean rubbed his face slightly and stood up, walking over to Cas and resting against the wall as he talked to him. "Yeah but Korban was right as well..." He didn't want this to turn into a chick flick moment but he had a feeling he had no other option. Castiel took a puff and blew out the smoke through his nose before turning towards Dean, "How do you figure?"

Great, now Dean had to explain himself. "Well..." He started, kicking slightly at the ground with his sock covered foot. "There are things worth fighting for."

Castiel snorted and took another drag, breathing out the smoke as he talked, "Like love?" Dean nodded to this, he agreed with Korban, family, friends, love, Baby and classic rock. That's pretty much what Dean classified life worth living for.

Castiel shook his head, suddenly bitter, "I don't know love Dean. I was raised in a family of false pretenses. There was no love there for me and even with Glen..." He trailed off and looked down at the burning tobacco of his cigarette as if to end this conversation. However, it was time for Dean to pull up the ugly and awkward conversation.

"Glen Washington was a douche bag." Dean cleared up for Castiel. "He didn't deserve you, or your trust." Castiel's head whipped towards Dean and Dean suddenly felt very hot under the collar; in a bad way. But he continued anyway, "I'm serious Castiel, he tried to control you and that's not right. No one should be controlled, manipulated by another human being. It ain't right. Humans got free will after all."

Castiel got quiet after that, letting Dean's words sink in as Dean started cleaning up the remenses of the pie (they had both eaten half of it). Placing the reuseable pan into the sink he filled it with water to ensure it didn't crust onto the glass.

Turning around he came face to face with Cas; who was staring him down with soul beem eyes. "You never liked Glen, did you?"

He didn't seem mad so Dean hazard the truth. "Never did, not from the moment I met him." Dean's heart picked up speed, Castiel was so damn close, way too close and he looked like the definition of a human hurricane; all strong features and taut muscles. Damn he was attractive; and Dean didn't even try to think of dead puppies or Baba Yaga he was too damn busy being trapped in those eyes.

"Why didn't you inform me of this Dean? I would have listened to your opinion." Castiel's jaw was jutting out in a stubborn manner and holy hell Dean wanted to run his teeth over it and lick the soft spot next to his Adam's apple.

Dean cleared his throat and concentrated on a little bump on Castiel's cheek that was probably from eating sweets too late at night. Dean didn't even notice how his own tongue slid out of his mouth and wetted his lips; but Castiel noticed, not that Dean knew that. "Because you guys had been together for about six months Cas, and I had literally just met you. But I knew he wasn't good enough." Did the space between them get smaller? It sure as hell felt like it. Castiel didn't say anything in response, instead he waited for Dean to continue. So taking a deep breath he pushed himself to continue, "Look Cas... If you had been my partner for a month before I met Glen I might have told you but I don't like getting involved in people's relationships. I always tend to mess them up and cause them to hate me. No matter how much I try to fix it."

He was opening up to Cas and he really didn't like it. Castiel seemed to notice that Dean was slowly, ever so gently, retreating into his little shell because he reached out and grabbed onto Dean's left shoulder; pulling him back with him.

"Dean look at me." It wasn't a choice, Dean had to look at Castiel. Castiel was an intriguing human, he was shorter than Dean, he was awkward and severely uneducated about pop culture but when he wanted something, like for Dean to pay attention to whatever he was saying, he became a strong and unbreakable wall. Dean would be lying if he said he didn't find it extremely attractive.

Castiel stood straight, his hand still gripped onto Dean's shoulder like he was holding onto his life. "I would have listened to you." He let out a little sigh and he was so close that Dean could feel the heat and smell the old smell of cigarettes and mouth. "In my life I have never met someone like you." Dean had to force himself to not sway forward and push the man against the refrigerator and kiss him in every way possible. "Dean listen." Castiel brought his other hand to the top of Dean's right shoulder, closer to his neck so Dean was forced to stay in his spot. "If you had told me... If you had given me a legitimate reason I would have left Glen." He shook his head and lowered his eyes down to the ground, talking more to himself than Dean, "I'm not even sure if he actually meant anything."

Dean actually was able to speak up at this, "Yeah but you showed him your back so it must have meant something." It was impressive to Dean that ever since Castiel had mentioned the meaning of his tattoo placement he held backs in higher respect, who knew? Castiel seemed taken aback by this and nodded to himself, his brow furrowing slightly as he thought this through.

"Yes well..." He let go of Dean and stuffed his hands into his pockets and it was Castiel's turn to retreat back inside of himself. "Back in those days I made a lot of mistakes." Castiel turned away and started to walk back into the living room, tilting his head back to Dean to add, "But I think I've finally figured out my life." With that, the conversation was over.

To most people this would be awkward enough for them to leave the situation, but for Dean and Castiel, it wasn't awkward enough for them to leave each other. The air around them just filled with words that went unsaid as Dean fed Zepp and Castiel cleaned up the living room so he could sleep there again.

Soon enough Zepp was fed and ready to go outside, so both men slipped their shoes on and started out into the building's hallway, walking towards the elevator. It was funny to Dean how he used to never take the elevator due to not being able to get cell service but since Castiel was always with him, there was no need to use the stairs. Dean had a slight feeling he'd have to go to the gym soon though, he had cut down impressively on his exercise and upped his intake of horribly sweet things.

They stayed silent their entire walk, Castiel only making a comment about how far Dean had parked the impala when they passed it but besides that they were completely quiet. Once they got back into the apartment Castiel took a shower while Dean took care of some stuff, like getting rid of Charlie's letter. There was no need to keep it now, He had read it enough to have it memorized and he felt dirty even thinking about those times. So he did the best thing any FBI would do, put it through the paper shredder and burn the pieces in the sink.

Dean was totally a very mature, not paranoid FBI agent who just happened to not be totally in love with his partner.

Nope.

Castiel was still in the shower when he got called by Sammy. They had talked for a little bit, Sam asking how Castiel was and Dean in turn asking how Jess was. The last thing Sam said to Dean before Dean hung up on his was "Oh, so I talk about your business partner and you bring up my wife? Huh, see any parallels there Dean?"

Dean had quickly ended the call and threw the phone on the counter like it was possessed. Much to Dean's amazing luck, Castiel had just walked out of the bathroom and into the connecting room to the kitchen, drying his hair and looking at Dean with a concerned expression. "Are you alright Dean?"

Well shit.

Dean nodded and smiled sheepishly at Castiel, "Yeah Sam just is being an asshat." Castiel let out a little understand 'ah' at that before leaning over and drying his hair right in the middle of the room. Jesus Christ almighty, even though he was wearing a t-shirt Dean could still see all the muscles working in his arms and in his neck and the beads of condensation that escaped the warm embrace of the towel. Dean was pretty sure that if Castiel was ever running low on money he could probably just film himself all day, doing his normal thing, and sell it on the internet as porn and everyone would buy it.

Dean would.

"I'm um- gonna take a shower now." Dean voiced, making his way around Castiel, trying his best not to stare at deep black shadows that filled Castiel's entire back. Castiel seemed to have run out of dark t-shirts because we was wearing a thinner, light blue one right now and whatever was on his back was showing more prominently. However, after that talk they had before Dean couldn't bring himself to actually look and try to figure it out, because that'd be breaking Castiel's trust. And that was something he didn't want.

So instead he continued into the living room only to have his attention called back to Castiel. "Dean." He started, straightening himself up now, his hair more dry now and completely out of control, making Dean laugh. Whatever Castiel was about to say was lost in Dean's laughter as he held onto the couch.

He really shouldn't be laughing this much but who fucking knew that when you got Castiel's hair wet he looked like a blue eyed porcupine? It was even funnier when Castiel's face went completely bitch face and he glared at Dean, "What is so funny?" He sounded mad, he really did but Dean's laughter only intensified because now he just looked like a wet aggravated porcupine/owl hybrid with his shoulders all raised in defence. "Dean!" He shouted finally and Dean quieted his laughter to a low snickering.

"Sorry Cas." Dean started, walking back over to the puffed up man. "You're hair is just ado- all messed up." He quickly changed the words because last thing he needed was Castiel realizing how much he really wanted to take him into bed.

Castiel didn't really seem to believe it but he still allowed Dean closer, "You were really laughing that hard over my hair?" His voice was softer and more disbelieving than pissed. Dean hummed in confirmation as he reached his large hands up and started to card his fingers through Castiel's hair, fixing it.

Dean would realize later while laying in bed that this wasn't something friends did, not two grown men at least. But for now it seemed so right to try and fix that unruly mess that Castiel called hair. Dean wasn't sure when his fingers stopped actually trying to fix Castiel's hair and when they started to just run through his hair continuously. He did notice however how Castiel seemed to lose his footing ever so slightly and how he swayed more into Dean, his eyes closed, this obviously relaxing for him.

It wasn't until Castiel let out the most sinful soft moan Dean had ever heard that Dean realized this wasn't innocent anymore. Removing his fingers from Castiel's hair, his hand somehow managing to run against his chin as he let go and stuffed his hands into his pockets. Dean wasn't the only one that realized what was going on because Castiel turned a nice shade of pink and cleared his throat.

Now it was awkward time, both standing there, trying not to let their eyes wander downstairs but trying their hardest not to make eye contact.

"So..." Dean started fiddling with his ring as he always did when he needed something to distract his hands.

This seemed to help Castiel remember what he wanted to say because he jolted up right, "Ah yes. Dean, would you mind giving me your internet password so I could use my laptop here?" For some odd reason to Dean it felt like it was a marriage proposal.

Way to get ahead of yourself Winchester. Dean nodded and smiled, "Yeah sure. They offer free wifi here but everyone uses it so I have my own." He smiled slightly at Cas and was rewarded with a soft smile back. Castiel walked over to the couch and sat down, placing the laptop strategically over his lap and turning it on.

While Dean waited for Castiel laptop to boot up he went into his room and grabbed his normal grey sweats and a white t-shirt. Placing them in the bathroom he walked back into the living room to see Castiel frowning at his computer. When Dean walked over and looked over his shoulder he saw Castiel scrolling through all the wifi names. Castiel stopped and smiled, poking to one, "Is that yours?"

"How'd you know?" Dean teased, sitting down slightly behind Castiel.

Castiel turned his head and smiled teasingly at Dean. "Because it has your kind of sass. Really Dean? 'The Family Business, that's not you'?" He shook his head but Dean could see the smile creeping over his features.

"Oh shut it." Dean mused, reaching around Castiel's waist to type in the password.

When Dean reached forward his chest met with Castiel's back and the warmth from the other man seeped through their thin shirts and met each other, causing more heat. Dean really hoped that Castiel couldn't feel how fast Dean's heart was going.

Dean typed in the fourteen letter password but remained pressed against Castiel as he waited for the connection to go through. "What is your password?" Castiel's voice was deeper than before but also more controlled. Dean now pulled away as the internet had finally been set up.

"Its Winchester1983." Dean missed the heat almost instantly, he missed being able to smell his own shampoo in Castiel's hair and how his body smelled fresh and oh so much like Dean. Castiel nodded at this as his slender fingers roamed over the keyboard to get to the internet.

"Any real reason it'd be that?" Castiel wasn't looking over at Dean when he asked this so Dean was allowed to let the pain hit his heart. "It's the year Sammy was born..." He took a deep breath before finishing his sentence, "And the year my mother died."

Castiel turned towards Dean, looking up at him with those sad blue eyes. "I am sorry Dean." One thing about Castiel that Dean appreciated was how his sorrys never sounded like he pitied Dean. Dean was tired of pity and Castiel didn't give him any. No, instead Castiel's sorrys were more of an understanding, he understood the pain that Dean was going through, he knew exactly what it was like to lose someone so close.

Dean shrugged and tried to smile convincingly but it didn't work. "It's not a big deal really... Just don't go spreading that around alright?" He tried to cover up his emotions as he always did; with a joke. "Don't need every John and Jane Doe trying to get into the family business." Castiel nodded at this and turned towards his computer once more. "Go take a shower Dean. You smell."

Castiel's sass was what brought Dean's mood back up and he threw a pillow in Castiel's direction as he left the living room, "Nerd." He called before closing the bathroom door and taking a much needed shower.

* * *

The next week passed much like this, they'd go to work, they'd go to the apartment and pick up Zepp before heading over to Jesse's to hang out with Samandriel and Gabriel. They'd go home at about six after having dinner at Jesse's and they'd fed Zepp and then walk her, sometimes they'd just sit next to each other while they were on their laptops, sometimes Castiel would sit there on his laptop as Dean played his guitar and sometimes they'd watch a movie. But all in all, their weeks were pretty regular and extremely domestic.

By Saturday Samandriel was packing up to leave for college and New Jersey. Dean and Castiel of course traveled over there by eleven and helped him pack up his stuff but Dean couldn't help but notice how Castiel didn't bring his stuff to change his living quarters from Dean's place to Gabriel's.

If that made Dean smile a little more than he should during packing, well he blamed it on Gabriel singing Time of Your Life (Good Riddance). To Dean's surprise Gabriel was actually a good singer, when it came to the singing Green Day songs. Soon enough Pamela brought out a loud speaker and put the song on repeat as they packed.

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road_   
_Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go_   
_So make the best of this test, and don't ask why_   
_It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

Half way through the second play through and pretty much everyone was singing, Castiel, Samandriel, Gabriel, hell, even Pamela. Dean tried to keep himself from singing, he really did but as soon as Castiel started to belt out some of the lyrics about 'tattoos of memories' Dean couldn't help but sing with the group of psychos.

_It's something unpredictable,_   
_but in the end is right,_   
_I hope you had the time of your life._

Ironically they all finished packing at the very end of the song and just kind of stood there until the guitar finished its last couple of chords. Once those chords were over Pamela hit the power button and stood up, smiling ever so slightly at them. "Alright boys. Looks like we're all done." Samandriel nodded at this and held his arms open for Gabriel, who took him up and gave him a bone breaking hug. It was funny, Gabriel was the oldest and he was only an inch taller than Samandriel and he was actually shorter then Castiel by about an inch. It seemed like the Winchester boys weren't the only ones with odd family heights. Gabriel let go of Samandriel when the younger patted him on the top of the head, signaling to him that he was crushing him to death. So Gabriel let him go, walked over to Pamela and pressed his lips against her temple as he wrapped one arm around her.

It was the most compassion he had ever seen either of them share with each other and this truly showed him how much Samandriel's leaving was actually affecting the Novaks. Samandriel turned to Castiel and smiled before rushing over and hugging him, wrapping both his arms around Castiel's waist and pulling him up, almost falling over in the process. Apparently every Novak had extreme strength because Samandriel was a skinny fucker and for him to pick up Castiel was impressive.

Samandriel let go of Castiel and hugged him for real after that, Castiel giving him a soft and gentle hug back. Dean couldn't help but notice how Samandriel had reached up and mumbled something into Castiel's ear. He'd have to ask Cas about that later. Samandriel turned his gaze towards Dean and grinned; Dean braced himself.

Samandriel was a small little shit compared to Dean as he was the giant in the room (good thing Sammy wasn't there, otherwise he'd take his thunder). Samandriel walked over to Dean and held a hand out to him, which Dean took and was surprised when the smaller man pulled him in for a man-hug. Samandriel patted Dean's back and as he did he strained his neck upwards to whisper something into Dean's ear. "Be careful Dean, too much heart has always been his problem." He pulled away quickly after that, leaving Dean dumbstruck. What the hell did that mean? It was obvious that Samandriel was talking about Castiel but... what?

Whatever it was Dean would have think on that later, at this time Samandriel was starting to his car; a little silver hatchback Volvo. Everyone waved goodbye to Samandriel as he pulled out blasting some whiny shit that sounded a lot like Smashing Pumpkins (not that Dean listened to them... not at all). The moment the sound of music left them Gabriel turned towards Castiel and smiled. "Ya want some food bro?"

To Dean's surprise Castiel shook his head, "No thank you Gabe. I think, if it's alright with Dean, I'll just grab a six pack and head back to the apartment." Castiel turned to Dean and looked at him expectantly, but Dean was a little too much in shock at the moment to give a coherent answer. Castiel hadn't called Dean's apartment 'Dean's apartment' no, he had called it 'the apartment' as in 'I live there with Dean, it isn't just his place anymore it is mine as well'.

Dean's mind was still trying to wrap around this when Castiel let out a cautious "Dean?" Which snapped Dean out of his thoughts.

"What?" He started trying to get his brain away from Castiel living with him and back onto topic, "Oh yeah sure man."

For the next ten minutes Dean was distracted by Castiel trying to pick out which six pack to get and Gabriel loudly mentioning how several of their beers have disappeared with no pay. Dean finally fessed up to taking the beers and had to pay Gabriel a nice amount of cash. But after forking the money over Pamela pulled Dean aside and told him to just take the beers like he's been doing and she'll deal with Gabriel's penny-pinching.

Dean thanked her and soon after that Castiel decided what beer was best. He and Dean were in the process of leaving when Gabriel called out, "Oh Cassie!" Both agents stopped and turned around to look at Gabriel. "Yes Gabriel?" Castiel replied, looking at his brother with a guarded expression.

"I forgot to tell you Anna and Alistair are coming in two weeks. Don't forget!" Dean watched as Castiel's face visibly changed, becoming more guarded. "I won't Gabriel. Thank you." With that he walked out, not even waiting for Dean like normal.

Confused Dean looked towards Gabriel who gave him the 'I'm sorry not telling' shrug before turning towards Pamela to signal that Dean wasn't going to get any more info out of him. So, with a slight huff he exited the bar and went towards his baby.

Castiel was leaning against the impala, smoking and looking at the six-pack like it was trying to seduce him. Dean, ever being the worrier, walked over and joined Cas against the car. "What's up?" He didn't really expect Castiel to actually explain what was going on in his head, it wasn't something Castiel usually opened up about. But today he actually did.

Twirling the filter of his half-finished cigarette Castiel stared down the burning tobacco like the answer to the world was held there. "I distrust Alastair greatly." He finally voiced, "Anna and I..." Castiel's brow furrowed into a shape resembling the Grand Canyon as he continued, "We were inseparable as children, as teenagers. Nothing separated us, even when I joined the FBI. She would always be messaging me and making dates for video chats." He raised the cigarette to his lips and took a drag, talking as he held in the smoke for an extra moment. "But as soon as she started to live with Alastair things changed. She stopped messaging me, the video chats were nonexistent, she even had to get a new phone number because somehow her phone had ended up in the toilet." Castiel looked over at Dean and shook his head, "I paid for that phone Dean. I called the company when she told me she sent it in for a new one. There was no water damage. It was smashed to pieces by some blunt object."

Dean suddenly realized exactly what Castiel's fear was and he voiced it; "You think he's abusive."

Castiel nodded slowly, "It is a fear of mine." he admitted, not looking at Dean as he opened up for the first time in a long while. Dean nodded at that, grabbing the six-pack and popping a bottle open before handing it over to Cas. "Here, you really need it."

Castiel thanked Dean and they stopped talking about Alastair all together as both jumped into the car. Castiel finished the beer before they left but once he did they started their way towards Dean's apartment.

The moment the car was parked they both removed themselves from the beautiful car and started their way towards the apartment. There was no need to talk, so they didn't, they just walked and eventually made it to the elevator.

No one really spoke, even when they got to the apartment. Dean fed Zepp and was about to wait for Castiel join him for Zepp's final walk of the day but Castiel had grabbed his sleep wear and had made his way towards the bathroom. "Hey Cas you coming?" Dean called over to the other agent.

Castiel took a few steps back and shook his head, "No Dean I think I'm going to take a bath."

A bath?

Dean's face must have been one of reasonable surprise before Castiel gave him a soft smile and shrugged, "If that's okay, of course."

Dean threw Castiel a bitchface, "Of course it's okay, I just didn't figure you one for baths."

Castiel actually blushed and shrugged, looking vaguely uncomfortable. "I usually am not." He admitted, walking into the bathroom to place down his clothing before walking back out to the kitchen. "I just simply need one today. That is all."

Dean was unsure of how to go about this, if he should try to talk to Cas or not. Of course, Dean being Dean just nodded, "Alright, see you when I get home." Dean flinched, whoops, he didn't mean to say home as if they were living together. Realizing his mistake Dean made a quick exit with Zepp, not daring to turn around.

* * *

A quarter to seven Dean walked back into the apartment, a well exercised Zepp trailing behind him. The first thing Dean noticed was how Castiel was still not out of the bathroom, the second was that two of the beers from the six-pack had disappeared; probably to go join Castiel in the bathroom.

Dean didn't even bother waiting to take a shower before he climbed into his sweats and a muscle-t. Once he was all ready for bed he exited his room with his laptop and sat down on the couch to await Castiel's exit from the bathroom.

Which didn't happen for another 20 minutes. When Castiel did exit the bathroom however, he looked so much... healthier. His normally ashen skin seemed to glow a nice healthy gold and his eyes were brighter than Dean had ever seen them. What Dean found amusing in all of this was that Castiel's hair was obviously done already, not sticking up like a porcupine. "How was your bath?" Dean teased, feeling as if Castiel was ready for any teasing Dean could throw his way; he was.

"Quite pleasant, thank you Dean." Castiel made a beeline for the kitchen where Dean could hear the clatter of beer bottles as they were disposed of. Knew it. Castiel walked back into the living room and rested in the couch, grabbing the blankets that Dean had carefully not sat on and making a cocoon for himself out of it. Grabbing his laptop he set it on his knees and powered it up.

They spent the night like that, both of them cuddled up into the couch and on their separate computers and in their separate areas of the couch; separated by a pillow. Dean, half way through the night got up and turned on the TV putting on some old monster movies just to have something in the background.

Dean had no idea how it happened but it was around ten when Castiel started to tip closer to him in drowsiness. Dean allowed the smaller man to rest his head against his shoulder and soon enough Castiel had moved the pillow in his sleep and was curled against Dean like a giant cat. They stayed like that for an hour before Dean started to get drowsy himself and decided it was time to make it to his bed.

Carefully Dean removed himself from Castiel’s grasp and maneuvered the sleeping Cas around until he looked reasonably comfortable. Grabbing the blanket from where Castiel had tossed it on the ground Dean wrapped Castiel up carefully, like he used to do when Sam was a child. He was way too close to Castiel not to notice the small things about his face, like the little different colored spot on his nose that looked like a half formed birthmark, and how those dark circles around his eyes were slowly disappearing. This close Dean couldn’t stop himself, he really couldn’t. So he leaned forward and gently placed his lips against Castiel’s furrowed brow.

Pulling away Dean left the other agent to sleep, hoping that he was asleep enough not to know about Dean’s will breaking. His life was totally fucked…and he was reasonably okay with it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if you haven't watched The Fifth Element I highly suggest it, it's on netflix. Hopefully I wrote that part of this fic properly so you don't /need/ to watch it but if I didn't... I'm sorry D;
> 
> I'm excited for Anna to show up :3 Because she, out of everyone in Castiel's family, understands him. And will be a catalyst for everything. XD
> 
> Also, half way through the fic guys!


	7. The Calm Before the Storm

To say things were normal was an understatement and a downright lie; nothing was like it once was, not really. They shared looks now, they stared much too long for everyone around them to be comfortable, they accidentally touched way too often; hands skimming each other as they reached for objects. The most common gesture between them however was the gentle touches, Castiel would always reach out to grab Dean’s left shoulder; whether it was just to keep his balance or to reach across for something, his hand always ended up there; right on the same spot… the same spot that burned hand print had ended up once in a dream. Dean thought it was odd, but he let it go.

Castiel was not the only one touching, Dean’s touches were just less noticeable; and more diverse in placement, never staying in one play for too long. He’d place his wide hand on Castiel’s shoulder blade when he was leaning over him. When he was reaching around for something his hand would somehow find its way to Castiel’s waist to hold his balance, he’d grab his forearm whenever Cas wasn’t paying attention; it’s just what happened.

For two weeks they remained completely comfortable; completely happy with just the subtle touches and looks. As for their weeks, after work Monday through Thursday they’d make their way to the gym with Zepp and worked out. Dean had learned that this was totally one of his favorite parts of his week, Castiel wasn’t a weight lifter, and he was a runner so he’d go for miles and miles on the track. The good news? The track was around the weight lifting area, so Dean got to watch that tight ass scamper off after every time.

Something he never expected from Castiel was how for about an hour and a half he would go into an incredibly hot room and do yoga for that entire time. He’d walk out and be completely blissed out, like he totally could take on anything and that goofy smile was worth the world.

However Fridays were their party days. They'd go to Gabe’s with Becky and Charlie and just talk and hang out; sharing life or work stories and the like. Despite the fact that Dean was in love with seeing Cas in tight shorts, jogging around and causing Dean some rather uncomfortable moments on the weight lifting machinery, he loved Fridays more. Charlie and Becky were just so warm and hilarious.

The only thing that Dean didn’t like about hanging out with Charlie and Becky was that they kept sharing knowing glances whenever Dean and Castiel looked at each other. They’d giggle whenever Dean or Cas touched; whether on purpose or on ‘accident’. And they’d flat out cackle whenever they mentioned something they did together, like when Castiel mentioned the Blunt the Knives kitchen experience and how he’d always associate that with Dean and his kitchen. If Dean was a little puffed up about Cas having a song that reminded him of Dean and only Dean; he didn’t say anything.

Friday hangouts lasted until almost midnight, Zepp would always be slightly annoyed at being ignored but she seemed to accept it since Dean and Cas always were in a good mood afterwards.

While gym days were sexually frustrating for Dean, and Fridays made Dean feel like he had a family outside of blood, Saturdays had to be the most relaxing and domestic day of them all. They’d wake up late (Cas would often wake up before Dean due to his insomnia). He’d putter around the kitchen making Dean’s favorite whole bean coffee before curling up with a fresh cup of coffee and a cigarette by the window.

Dean would roll out of bed in an hour or so after Cas and he’d come out into the living room to Castiel’s “Good morning Dean.” Dean would grab a cup of coffee, sit down on the couch and just… talk with Castiel; about anything. By noon, after feeding and walking Zepp, Dean would grab his guitar and practice. Cas never said anything about it but Dean could tell that the other man would relax even if it was on a subconscious level.

It was a Saturday like this when Castiel suddenly spoke up, he was curled up on the other side of the couch sipping at his coffee, doing whatever he always did on his computer before he peaking over the screen towards Dean. “Dean?” His voice was rough as it always was in the morning and it easily had the power to pull Dean away from his chord plucking.

“Yeah Cas?” Dean looked up and towards the man as he rested his hands gently against the strings to stop their humming. Castiel, normally relaxed looked suddenly uncomfortable. Like he all-of-a-sudden thought this was a bad idea. But Castiel knew Dean wasn’t going to drop it so Cas fought passed the embarrassment; “Would you be willing to play some Janis Joplin?”

Dean blinked at that, giving Cas a look. “That’s all you want?” He had meant it to be teasing but Castiel seemed to think that over for a split second before shaking his head slowly, not bothering to voice the ‘no’. Dean snorted amusement before flicking at the strings, ignoring the blush that was creeping up Castiel’s neck for his benefit. Dean let out another short chuckle and watched Castiel for a moment before speaking up, “You got any particular songs you want me to play?”

There was a pause from Castiel, as Dean knew there would be. Dean wasn’t stupid, he knew that Castiel had a large list of Janis Joplin songs to go through and pick out which one was best. Of course what he wasn’t expecting was the song that Castiel picked; “Could you possibly play ‘Piece of my Heart’?”

Dean couldn’t help but smile at that, not one of his small, gentle smiles but his huge, teeth showing grin when his skin pulled into large parentheses around his mouth. “Yeah, I can do that.” He mused as he shifted around to get more comfortable before jerking his head towards Castiel’s laptop. “Do me a favor and look up the chords.” Castiel nodded and Googled the chords, pulling them up and turning his computer towards Dean.

Dean had always been rather good at guitar, thank you very much, so he got the first couple chords down within a minute. Playing them easily he continued to read the chords off of Castiel's computer, playing slower than the song was. Once getting through the song twice he had the feeling of it and started to play at the normal pace. What he didn't expect was that Castiel was actually going to sing with him.

_Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on,_

_Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man - yeah!_   
_An' didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can?_   
_Honey, you know I did!_   
_And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,_   
_But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough._

Dean didn't often mess up because someone was singing the song he was playing but when it came to Castiel's whiskey licked voice he had to consciously stop his fingers from slipping and messing up. Dean totally didn't blush in embarrassment; nope.

Despite Dean messing up on the song Castiel still smiled, one of those rare, proud smiles that reached his eyes and melted Dean's heart into a mass of palpitating muscle and blood. "You really are a good musician Dean." He said, resting his head back onto the couch and closing his eyes.

Dean, seeing this as a good opportunity started back on the strings, plucking them lightly to make them sing like a guitar should. Keeping his eyes on the computer to read the chords. However, when he got the chords he had already memorized he allowed himself a peek at Castiel; which once again was a mistake. One person shouldn't be this hyper aware of another human, it shouldn't be allowed but it still happened. Dean had already known that Castiel had been humming along with the song but when he looked up he was shocked about how... noticeable Castiel's throat was, the stubble that covered skin vibrating along with his vocal chords as he continued to hum. Dean had the extreme urge to just reach over and place his lips across Castiel's Adam apple, to feel that skin vibrating with more than just hums but moans and little gasps.

Dean turned away quickly so not to attract attention to himself, of course that had failed already as he had messed up a chord and Castiel's eyes opened to look at him.

They didn't have to say anything to each other, they had discovered a while ago that it wasn't necessary for them; simple looks would do. Cas was obviously telling Dean that if he wanted to stop he could, but Dean didn't want to. Not for the world. Because Castiel was so soft and gentle whenever Janis Joplin was playing, whenever Dean was able to remind Cas it was a free day, when he didn't have to worry about the world hating him.

So Dean continued to play, and Cas continued to hum along and they spent their entire Saturday like this. Just music and lazy times and Dean was completely, 100% okay with this.

* * *

Things changed however, they always do and three days before Anna was supposed to show up Castiel started to stress. He went through half a pack every day and was rather jumpy. He cleaned the apartment every day for at least an hour and a half even if it was already sparkling. Dean wasn't sure if he should be extremely annoyed or extremely worried; so he ended up doing both. He started to anticipate work and stay there as long as he could; because it meant that Castiel wasn't cleaning obsessively.

However, the awaited Thursday hit sooner than Dean wanted. It was May 9th, at about noon then they were at work when Castiel's phone burst into some band that Dean had never heard before. Some kind of Alternative rock shit.

_I am a man, man, man, man_   
_Up, up in the air_   
_And I run around, round, round, round_   
_this down town and act like I don't care._   
_So when you see me flying by the planet's moon,_   
_You don't need to explain if everything's changed_   
_Just know I'm just like you._

At first Dean was convinced that Castiel wasn't going to answer it, whoever it was. But sure enough as soon as that verse was over he reached over and picked up the phone, placing the phone to his ear as soon as he answered it. "Anna." He breathed and Dean tensed.

This was the moment Dean was expecting. He watched as Castiel stood up and started to pace. "You're in town now?...Alright well I'm off of work at five. I'll be over there as soon as we get Zepp... My partner and I... Yes Dean, Anna... Zepp is his dog... I am sure she will like you. She has an affinity for Novaks... Yes I am sure... Alright I will see you than... Goodbye Anna...I love you too."

Envy shot hot through Dean, his mind completely ignoring all the underlying messages in Castiel's phone call, like how Anna already knew of Dean despite the fact that Anna wasn't as easy to contact as Castiel's other siblings. No, instead all Dean could think about was how Anna got an 'I love you' from Castiel. He had heard those words, spoken right in front of him and despite all reason he had an uncontrollable longing. He wanted those words, he wanted them for himself as well as Castiel's siblings, he wanted to wrap himself in them and fall into the comfort of knowing Castiel felt the same way. Because even though Dean tried to bury his feelings for Castiel, even though he tried his hardest to fall out of love with the man, every night before he fell asleep he'd pray. He'd pray that one day he'd be able to tell Cas he was the only one; forever.

Dean had thought about trying to find other people, at the bar, at the gym. He had checked out others, their nice sculpted backs and legs; men and women alike but no matter how hard he tried there wasn't that intense feeling he had with Cas. Even when Castiel was all sweaty and smelly from yoga and running Dean still found him more attractive than any of the groomed athletes that hit the gym. Even when Castiel had a little too much to drink at Jesse's Dean was unable to find a skirt high enough, arms muscular enough to take his eyes away from Castiel's face.

So yeah, Dean had an understandable reason for wanting those words to be directed towards him as well, because from Dean's point of view this was pretty one-sided. It was a little childish that instead of asking Castiel how he was Dean stood up and marched out of the office and towards the floor's bathroom, needing to calm down. He completely ignored Becky who was calling him over and entered the bathroom.

Splashing some cold water on his face he took a shaky breath. He wasn't ready to go and face Cas; he really wasn't. Maybe he was over dramatizing this, but at this point he didn't care. He was cranky from the perpetual cleaning from Cas, he was cranky because he had been really considering picking up smoking again, but it didn't feel like the right time. He was tired because he spent the majority of his nights lying in bed staring at the ceiling going through ways to tell Cas that he loved him. He was lonely, despite having a small armada of good friends. He wanted simpler times, times when all he had to worry about was Sam, when he worked his ass off and put his life on the line to get the kid through college. He didn't like this worrying about Sam and Castiel and Castiel's family shit.

Ripping off his jacket and throwing it on the counter he leaned over the water basin and tried to cool his breathing. Closing his eyes he let his head swing down to a more relaxed position. He didn't know how long he was in there for, but he knew he wasn't alone when a voice; a voice Dean loved too much reverberated off the walls. "Dean, are you okay?"

"Damnit Cas!" Dean yelled, jumping about five feet in the air and slamming his hand down on the metallic countertop, making a loud 'clink' sound with his ring. Spinning towards Castiel Dean glared, his shoulders rising slightly in a defensive way. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

Instead of retracting like Dean expected him to Castiel just tilted his head, activating his soul searching eyes. "Is there something bothering you?"

Dean, being the stubborn idiot he is, raised his defenses higher instead of explaining himself. "None of your goddamn business Cas." Castiel stepped closer, more into Dean's space. Castiel was only two or three inches shorter than Dean but as he advanced into Dean's space he seemed to be oddly intimidating.

"But it is my business Winchester." Oh shit he used Winchester, Dean forgot how that sounded on Castiel's lips. "You are my closest friend, you are my partner and you will tell me what is wrong."

Was bossy Castiel supposed to be hot? Because if Dean wasn't starting to hit panic mode he would totally find this attractive. However, Dean was in panic mode and he needed a bullshit reason to be mad. "I just don't like it when you sneak up on me! That's all!" Smooth Winchester, smooth.

If Castiel was a bird, he would have ruffled his feathers at this, Dean was well aware he was rubbing Castiel the wrong way and he really didn't like it but couldn't stop. And apparently Castiel wasn't going to let it end either, "How am I supposed to change that Dean?" Well that was snarky. "Am I supposed to change how I walk to appease you?"

"I'm not saying that!" Dean barked, having no idea how the fuck this escalated this quickly. All he knew was that his face was barely an inch for Castiel's and they were sharing the same air and Dean forgot why he was mad; he just knew that he was.

"Then what are you implying?!" Shot back Castiel, his eyes locked like lasers onto Dean's.

Dean took a step back and threw his hands up, "I don't even fucking know Cas! Just leave me the fuck alone!" He turned towards the sinks and the large mirror and watched from the corner of his eye as Castiel's face went through the comical emotions of anger, frustration and then settled on pain.

"As you wish Dean." With that he stood there for a second, watching Dean's back and Dean's face in the mirror for a minute before turning on his heels and walking out of the room. As silent as he had come in.

Dean had no idea how he had fucked this up but he was sure that Castiel was going to leave, he had been enjoying Dean's company but the moment that Dean showed that stupid brain of his he would ditched. Just like everyone else.

\---

The rest of the time at work was hell for Dean, no seriously, it was like when they had started working together all over again. And Dean couldn't help but feel guilty, after all he was the one that caused this... whatever they had to break. When he had tried to talk to Cas, when he had tried to apologize Castiel had always cut him off.

"Don't forget to finish the Czarnecki report, Winchester."

"You still have to fill out the Johnston file, Dean."

"I'm working Winchester. Please let me be."

Dean started to feel more and more insignificant every minute, like all those months of working, talking, _living_ with Castiel all of a sudden didn't matter. And Dean felt empty.

They had an hour left of work and Castiel was still working and Dean was supposed to be working but he couldn't. Standing up Dean decided that, yes, he had a mission. Heading towards the door he was stopped by a harsh voice. "Where are you going Winchester?"

Dean didn't dare turn around, no way in hell. Instead he squared his shoulders and fixed his jacket a little more, "I'm going out for a couple minutes. Don't worry, I'm not running away."

There was some shuffling behind him like Castiel was moving some papers and then there came a mumbled "Sure seems like it."

Dean was really tempted to turn around and yell at Castiel, but he was too tired to even try. Instead he didn't fight and left the office and the building all together.

Taking the one minute walk, Dean made his way to the CVS on the corner a block from his work. He knew they sold Castiel's favorite cigarettes because he had been there plenty of times with Cas to buy a pack (the one, not so big drawback of sharing a car). Entering the CVS by himself felt weird, really weird, but he made a beeline for the food isle.

Once there he quickly picked up a box of ice cream cones, going to the child’s section he picked up a small dollar bouncy ball that was clear with swirls of blue in it. After collecting the simple items he stopped at the cashier and got three packs of Castiel's 100 Marlboro Reds.

Leaving the CVS Dean made the aggravating trip towards The Au Bon Pain Cafe & Bakery to pick up Castiel a coffee (just the way he liked it) and a Red Velvet Cupcake. The lady behind the counter had just been flirting innocently but the moment she had asked if he was single, Dean had gotten on the defensive. "Yes." he growled angrily, grabbing the cash from his wallet, "And I will be for the rest of my life if I don't get that god damn cupcake."

Walking back to the office with his winnings Dean's heart started to beat faster; much faster. He had never done this, no girlfriend or boyfriend had ever involved this much care. Well, no they had, the only thing with them was that Dean hadn't cared as much; not even with Cassie Robinson. Cassie Robinson was the woman who had ditched him the moment he had told her about his bisexual tendencies and his work. With Cassie he had called, given flowers but he had waited a week for even that effort.

But with Cas... it had only been three hours and he was starting to freak out about losing him. With Cassie it had hurt like a bitch after three days of walking around an empty apartment but he got over it within a month.

Just thinking about not having Castiel's humming in his kitchen, not hearing the living room window open and close as Castiel snuck out for a cigarette when Dean was 'sleeping', terrified him. What if he never got to say that he loved him? What if Castiel moved on and found that oh so perfect other person that wasn't Dean? Dean had always thought that was how it was going to turn out but now that it was looking like a legitimate option Dean started to worry.

Dean almost ran up the stairs to their office floor to make it before five, even though he had 25 minutes and Castiel never left early.

Sure enough when he passed Becky's desk and asked her if Castiel left she had shaken her head and said he hadn't left their office. Dean nodded to this and with a deep intake of breath started towards his office. He didn't notice how Becky had stood up to watch him leave, staring down the two bags and the coffee in his hands before almost tripping over herself to get to her computer and phone.

However, Dean didn't notice these things. All he noticed was how his feet were like led as he advanced closer and closer towards the office door.

Nut up Winchester!

Opening the office door and peaking in Castiel wasn't at his desk. No, instead Castiel was at the open office window, cigarette in hand and a very guilty look on his face. Well, it was guilty until he noticed it was Dean, then it just went emotionless. They didn't have to talk for that one, Dean knew Cas always got that look just in case Bobby was walking in, but since it was Dean there was no need to feel bad at all.

Castiel eyed Dean's filled hands before turning away and looking over the streets, not bothering to ask what was in the plastic bags. Dean took the hint. Placing the plastic bags on Castiel's desk carefully he steeled himself; coffee still in hand.

Turning towards Cas, Dean caught the tail end of Castiel's head whipping towards the streets. Huh. He walked over to the other agent and cleared his throat, flashing back to when he was five and he was giving this girl on his street a bouquet of yard flowers.

When Castiel didn't turn towards him in blatant disobedience of Dean's plan, Dean had to resort to his own stubbornness and place the coffee right down next to Castiel's foot. He stood there for a moment before realizing that obviously Castiel was going to be stubborn. So, Dean walked over to his desk and sat down with a little huff and waited.

Dean's nerves had skyrocketed before but now being in the same room as Castiel, even if he was giving him the cold shoulder, Dean calmed down. It was the strangest thing... there wasn't that same hostility in the air. Sure, there was this feeling of annoyance but he was pretty sure that was coming from both of them.

Opening his laptop Dean started to fill out the paperwork around him that he had neglected, watching Castiel from the corner of his eye. It was only until the cigarette was done that Castiel finally grabbed the coffee and took a sip. Standing up, Castiel closed the window and puttered around till he had no other option but to go over to his desk. Dean tried not to watch Castiel but it was hard not to when he was hoping that Cas would accept his apology.

Castiel left the plastic bag untouched, going directly going to the paper bag to peek in, his face was priceless; Dean 1, Castiel 0. Castiel got more comfortable in his seat before leaning back with the cupcake in hand. He was obviously trying to school his expression but Dean could see the smile playing at the edge of his lips; so Dean counted it as a win.

Dean went back to the paperwork while Castiel ate the cupcake, not wanting to creep him out by watching him eat. However, the moment that Dean heard the crinkle of plastic his head practically snapped up to watch the other man pull out the ice cream cones and the little ball. Okay, sure it was childish and only five year olds gave these kinds of gifts but... it was what Castiel liked and Dean would be damned if he didn't give him everything he liked.

Dean wasn't sure how Castiel would react to the toy and the cones but the moment Castiel noticed the smaller plastic bag inside of the other Dean knew he had scored; big time. Castiel had taken a slight intake of breath at noticing the packs and when he had pulled all three out all he could do was look at them and go; "Dean."

If that wasn't forgiveness in Castiel's voice Dean didn't know what it was. "Yeah Cas?"

“Thank you.”

* * *

Castiel was happily smoking in the passenger seat as they made their way to Jesse’s after taking care of Zepp. Dean had decided that it wasn’t the most intelligent thing to bring Zepp with them due to Castiel’s distrust of Alastair. Zepp would feed off of Castiel’s distrust and Dean’s dislike (anyone Cas didn’t like Dean didn’t like; end of story) and could quite possibly attack the man. That was the last thing their friendship needed. It was still…awkward, they still weren’t 100% okay, they probably wouldn’t be until Dean told the truth and that wasn’t going to happen. So, they’d have to deal.

Turning into Jesse’s parking lot Castiel threw the butt of his cigarette out of the window and stepped out of the car after it stopped. Despite their differences at this time, Dean still could read Cas like a map. The man was shaking, whether it was from rage or excitement Dean had no idea; all he know was he wanted to make it go away.

“Hey Cas?” Dean started, unsure if he should say this after their little argument but it was too late now; he started this. Castiel turned towards Dean, expecting Dean to continue.

Licking his lips Dean stared right at Cas, his eyes locking with the blue pools. “If you want to leave tell me okay? Text me an SOS or use a code word… Like ‘funky town’ or something.”

Castiel’s brow furrowed like it always did when he was confused and he tilted his head, “’Funky town’, Dean?” There was amusement in Castiel’s voice as he tried not to smile.

Dean rubbed the back of his head, showing his slight embarrassment. “’Funky Town’ was Sam and my code word whenever either of us were in trouble.”

The creases on Cas' forehead relaxed and he smiled, shaking his head slightly; “You will have to tell me about that one day.” He mused, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Dean chuckled and nodded at this, “Alright.”

Opening his mouth to talk Castiel was interrupted by a flash of red hair and a tackle from a smaller woman. “CASSIE!” She squealed, pushing him against the impala and smothering herself in his chest. Unlike with Samandriel and Gabriel, Castiel was open with this girl, who must be Anna. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her off the ground and almost broke her from holding her too tight. Placing his chin on the top of her head after placing her feet on the ground he closed his eyes, "Anna." He said, visibly relaxing. Dean smiled softly, there was such love in that hug. Dean couldn't help but think of the times he was separated from Sam, that's what it must before for Cas. Except there weren't calls 0r video chats... it must really hurt.  

The hug lasted a reasonable amount of time but then Anna started to wiggle around in Castiel's arms as if she was trying to see something. Poking her head out of the crook of Castiel's arm she peaked over at Dean with large hazel eyes. "You must be Dean Winchester." She grinned, wiggling her arm out from Castiel's death grip. Holding a hand out to him from under Castiel's arm she continued, "I'm Castiel's older sister, Anna Milton." Dean took the hand and grinned, shaking her hand as he introduced himself.

"Dean Winchester, glad to finally meet you." He wasn't lying. To see Castiel open up that instantly was... intense and showed Dean how much this woman mattered to Castiel, despite the years of separation.

"Well, Dean Winchester," started Anna, her free arm moving to re-wrap itself around Castiel, "I have heard so much about you!" She turned her face back to Castiel and grinned wickedly, like a proper older sibling does whenever they're going to embarrass the younger. "Cassie here didn't spare any details about the eldest Winchester, let me tell you."

Castiel flushed a deep red and removed an arm from around Anna's waist to try and cover her mouth but she was already half way through a sentence, "Like how many freckles there are on-"

Whatever she was about to say was silenced by Castiel's hand. Which she promptly licked to try and get him to remove his hand; it didn't work. What did work however was Dean's very manly, totally not shocked voice as he almost stammered a "What?"

Castiel's head whipped towards Dean and his neck, ears, and face all started to warm up. "It's nothing Winchester."

"Doesn't sound like it."

"Well, I-"

Whatever Castiel was about to say was cut off by another voice, a more... grating and all around unpleasant one. "Anna." Dean didn't look over at the speaker at first, because he already knew who it had to be. Instead, he watched as Castiel's walls came up faster than ever, he let go of Anna and fixed his suit, his face changing that to something guarded and emotionless, the blush leaving right away as if banished. Anna fixed herself as well, moving away from Castiel and fixing herself so she didn't look like she just tackle hugged Castiel into infinity.

Once both were presentable Dean turned his head towards the man. He was about the same height as Sammy and had this horribly long face. His looks and height weren't what set Dean off about him, no, it was his eyes. Dean had spent the majority of his life around 'bad people' he knew the look of the innocent, the guilty and the murderer. Without a doubt this man looked like he was willing to kill anything and everything in sight with a smirk on his lips.

Dean didn't like him.

The man walked even closer to them and wrapped a long arm around Anna, pulling her slightly away from Castiel and Dean and setting her by his side. Sending a forced smile towards Dean and Castiel he held out his hand, "Nice to see you again Castiel." Castiel looked at the hand for a moment before reaching over and taking it in his. Dean knew what Castiel's handshakes were like, he had been around the man long enough, and this wasn't his normal handshake; this was his 'I'm going to take you down and beat you senseless' handshake. Of course, Alastair didn't know that.

Letting go of Castiel's hand Alastair turned his attention towards Dean and smiled largely, "And you are...?"

Castiel shifted into a slightly more defensive pose as if he wished this wasn't going on, but he couldn't stop it; not now.

"Dean Winchester, I work with Castiel." Dean extended his hand as he spoke. Alastair took Dean's hand and shook it, trying to call dominance over Dean with just a handshake. Dean wouldn't have any of it and stared into Alastair's eyes as a challenge. The other man now found it was time to introduce himself, "I'm Alastair Ripper. Pleasure Dean."

Dean nodded, letting go of Alastair's hand and stuffing his hands into his pockets as he stared the other man down, "I figured as much."

The two Novak siblings stiffened at this, watching the conversation between the two carefully. Alastair tilted his head in such a way that reminded Dean of an amused wolf, "Oh? How so?"

Dean was pretty sure that if this was the animal kingdom this would be a pack leader fight, it sure seemed like it. "Because we've been expecting you." He said coolly, covering up the real reason. "We go to Jesse's enough we know the regulars and I haven't met you before."

Dean's little cover up seemed to relax both Anna and Castiel and Alastair let out a little almost demonic chuckle before nodding, "Ah, I see how that could work."

The group fell into silence and took on an awkward air, Dean and Castiel both standing there with their guards up and Anna and Alastair just standing there. The door to Jesse's opened then and Gabriel stepped out, looking around. Seeing the little group he called out, "Burgers ready!"

"Ah, perfect timing." Alastair mused, turning towards Anna, "Let’s go sweetie." Turning around he turned her with him, like she was nothing more than something attached to him. Dean noticed this along with Castiel and they turned to look at each other, sharing an all knowing look.

* * *

The entire night was awkward and stiff, Castiel was smoking more than Dean ever witnessed, Gabriel was witty as ever but the jokes seemed to be more aggressive than anything and the light that Dean had seen in Anna when she had hugged Castiel didn't show up for the rest of the night. Dean only could pat himself on the back for not bringing Zepp, he knew that if he had she would have been agitated and aggressive the whole night to everyone.

Despite the awkwardness Dean and Castiel both stayed until nine that night and the only reason they left was because Dean had to take Zepp out... and Dean knew that Castiel was on his wits end. Alastair said goodbye to them and Anna smiled a soft but sad smile towards them as she wished them goodnight. Gabriel actually walked them out of Jesse's and to the impala.

The moment they reached the black muscle car Gabriel turned towards Castiel (who for the record had a lit cigarette in his mouth).

"Cassie..." He started, his voice oddly serious despite the nickname. However Castiel seemed to understand exactly what was going on and nodded, "Agreed." Growling out, "I don't trust him."

Gabriel snorted and leaned against the impala, earning him a glare from Dean. Only Dean, Sam, and Cas could even come in contact with his baby like that so Gabriel removed himself from his position and replied, "I'll keep an eye on them whenever I have a chance. But I need you to help me out with this. I was never good at keeping tabs on Anna, but she loves you a hell lot more, so it should be easier for you." There was a slight pain in Gabriel's voice, and Dean felt uncomfortable. Alastair Ripper seemed to make the majority of the Novak family uncomfortable.

"We'll do our best Gabe." Dean cut in, being so uncomfortable with Gabriel's change in character he had to say something. Both Novak boys looked over at Dean, Gabriel smiling slightly while Castiel's face was filled with such thanks Dean's heart melted. Locking eyes Dean and Castiel just looked at each other, sharing emotions that no one else could see, not even Gabriel. Of course Gabriel had to cut it off by saying something.

"Deano." He started, snapping Dean out of the blue vastness that was Castiel's eyes. Dean turned towards Gabriel as the older man looked at him, "Don't let this get to your head," Gabriel started, poking at his own temple before continuing. "But I'm glad that out of everyone Cas could have as a partner, you were the one." Dean was pretty sure that Gabriel didn't just mean 'partner' in the way that the two were, that he meant something oh so different.

Dean let that go and nodded before speaking up, "I'm glad I got paired up with someone I could trust." He could not look at Castiel, because the last thing Dean needed was Castiel realizing exactly what that meant.

Gabriel's face broke out into a smile and he nodded, "Well than I think we're all coming out winners on that one." Gabriel mused before reaching up and ruffling Castiel's hair. "Now get home squirt." With that the eldest Novak left the two men and went back into the bar; leaving them with just the sounds of the street.

Dean didn't waste a second and swung himself into his car where Castiel joined him a second later, after rolling down the car's window so he didn't hotbox the car with cigarette smoke.

Once the two of them were packed into the car and ready they took off towards home without a word, just letting the sounds of Def Leopard fill the space between them. Both allowed their minds to concentrate on things, mainly Anna and Alastair. Dean knew that if both he and Castiel teamed up together tomorrow they'd be able to keep watch on Anna and that dickweed.

"You know Cas..." Dean started, breaking whatever Castiel was concentrating on, "If we both take our lunch breaks tomorrow at different times we can pretty much keep a good eye on Anna." He turned his head slightly to see Castiel's reaction and was slammed with that freakin look of graduate that always shook Dean to his very core.

"You are correct." Castiel agreed, turning himself back towards the windshield and his still lit cigarette. Looking down at the burning tobacco, "And perhaps we could have her over some time this weekend if that is not a problem."

Dean snorted at that, shaking his head in disbelief, "Cas, buddy, come on. It's not a problem at all. I already spend my whole day with you, your siblings are basically mine." Realizing what he just said, Dean's flushed slightly, oh god, stupid. Dean refused to look over at his partner and put his foot down a little harder on the gas, accelerating to get home faster, even though it was impossible for Dean to escape Castiel's eyes.

It wasn't until Dean parked the impala and shut her off that someone spoke up. Dean was halfway out of the car when he heard Castiel's soft comment, "Thank you Dean."

Sticking his head back into the car Dean looked at Castiel, "For what?" He really had no idea what he had done, sure he was happy that Castiel was even a little grateful for Dean's existence but he didn't know what he did to deserve it.

Castiel unbuckled himself and fiddled with his cigarette pack as if to distract himself from the conversation that was coming. "I just..." He started before letting out a sigh, "My family, we're all very dysfunctional and the fact that you stood by me tonight... it means a lot." Half way through Castiel's sentence Dean started to shake his head, making Castiel frown, "What is it?"

Clearing his throat Dean looked straight into Castiel's eyes, making sure he understood this, "Cas. Dude, you're my friend. Of course I'm going to be there, whatever shit it is. Cause that's what friends do. They're always there, even when you don't know they are." With that Dean removed himself from the car and closed the door.

Once Castiel joined him on the sidewalk they started to make their way towards the apartment. Dean was excited to get home, he was excited because it meant he could get out of his suit, that he could sit down and just relax. He knew that Castiel needed it to, "Maybe we should call in sick tomorrow." Dean suggested randomly as he unlocked the door to the basement floor; feeling that another day of relaxing might be good for them.

However Castiel shook his head as he entered the elevator, grabbing onto the small metal railing around the little box they were in. "I think it would be unwise to upset Bobby that way, he might make us work on the weekend if we were to skip."

Freaking Castiel and his ability to be right 85% of the time. "Yeah, true." Dean admitted, stepping out of the elevator once they reached their floor.

"I know." Castiel teased, letting a smile sneak it's way onto his lips.

Chuckling to himself Dean walked the rest of the way to his door, quickly unlocking it and letting Zepp jump up to get to them, licking their hands to death. "Hey pretty lady." Dean mused, kneeling down so he could properly pet her. "Sorry we took so long." He added after she butted him with her head. She turned her attention to Castiel and let out a soft bark for his attention.

Castiel, being a total pushover for Zepp, knelt down next to Dean and gave Zepp some much needed love. Zepp however took it a little too far by jumping onto Castiel and licking his face and cuddling her large hulk of a body into his. It was obvious that she knew that Castiel was still emotionally stressed and she wanted to help him with it.

Standing up with a slight grunt Dean walked into the apartment, whistling for Zepp to follow him so that Castiel could get out of the hall. She of course, followed him, with Cas trailing behind.

"I believe I look like a shag carpet." Castiel commented, looking down at himself and all the dog hair that was stuck to him like a magnet. Dean let out a loud laugh and walked over to Castiel, taking his arm and running his hand over it several times to try and remove the hair that was there.

"You really do." Dean mused, his movements getting a little more aggressive to try and remove the hair.

Somehow he eventually got to Castiel's back, trying to remove the hair that had made its way there. Half way down Castiel's back Cas spoke up, breaking the silence that had comfortably settled around them. "Dean..."

"Yeah Cas?"

Castiel seemed to change his mind with whatever he was about to say because he cleared his throat, "Never mind. I'm going to take a shower and then we'll go watch Zepp?" Whatever Castiel was going to say before was clearly out of the question to bring up so instead

Dean just nodded and removed his hand slowly from Castiel's back. "Alright."

Shrugging off his suit jacket Castiel made his way over to the suitcase that he kept in the corner of the living room, grabbing his sweats. Frowning he turned to Dean, "Dean I don't have any more clean clothing."

Well when life gives you a door you fucking take it. "I got some extra stuff." Dean commented before making his way into his own room and grabbing a pair of sweats and an AC/DC shirt. Handing them over to Cas he smiled, "We'll do laundry tomorrow alright?"

Castiel nodded at that and took the clothing from Dean, their fingers accidently slitting together, causing both to look up; eyes locking. Castiel took a slight intake of breath before moving his fingers... accidently(?) over Dean's, his eyes never leaving their place. "I should go take a shower."

"You should."

"I'll go do that."

"Okay."

Neither of them made to move, turned to stone by each other’s eyes. After today’s small argument and subsequent apology, Dean was pretty sure they'd forever be in this spot forever, conveying emotions. This immovable spot where Dean would stand there, pinning away from a man that was just too fucking perfect for him.

For the first time ever, it was Dean that pulled away, his heart breaking every step he took as he walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. "Go take a shower Cas, you smell." He teased, remembering that time that Castiel did the same to him.

Castiel actually laughed at that and shook his head, "Assbutt." He muttered to lowly before heading to the bathroom and closing the door behind himself.

Dean of course caught this and laughed even harder, "Assbutt? Really?!" He called towards the bathroom door.

The door opened and Castiel stuck his head out, a little goofy smile on his lips, "I'm tired, shut up." With that he closed the door once again and started the water.

* * *

Castiel got out 20 minutes later, all fresh and smelling like Dean; which Dean absolutely loved.

They walked Zepp around just talking, sharing stories and the like. Castiel openly admitted that Anna was a horrible secret keeper and that when he was a senior in high school she had stopped by and visited him at the school, openly telling his high school crush (the running back of the football team, which Dean found extremely ironic) that Castiel had a crush on him. Needless to say, that was one of Castiel's worse memories since the football team made fun of him for the rest of the year.

Dean decided that if Castiel was going to share his stories, he might as well too. He told Castiel about when he discovered he liked boys too, saying how there had been a boy in the library who was too damn shy to say anything to anyone. How the football team always made fun of him and how Dean had this protective air whenever around the kid, even though they never talked. So one day when the football team had been extra mean to the kid Dean stepped in and kicked some of their teeth in. The kid was left alone and Dean got a date.

"So you're into the socially challenged?" Castiel teased as they waited for Zepp to finish investigating a spot of grass. Dean shrugged and thanked his lucky stars this section of the sidewalk was horribly lit.

"I guess you can say that. I mean I don't really have a type per se, it’s more of a... 'I like who I like' kind of deal." Castiel smirked at that and shook his head, finding something funny. Dean so wasn't going to allow this teasing to be one-sided. "What's funny? I mean, you have a thing for jocks right?" Dean teased back, picking up walking as Zepp was ready to continue.

Castiel scoffed at that and gave Dean a rather good bitch face before correcting him, "No Dean, I have a thing for larger men."

Holy- Jesus Chri- That was the sexiest thing Castiel had ever said to Dean. Yep. 100%. It took a couple times to clear his throat from the large piece of 'can we have sex' that was stuck in there but he eventually got it out and spoke up. "Well I'll have to keep an eye out for you than." He teased, "Sure are plenty of bigger guys at the gym."

Castiel shook his head and turned away from Dean to watch Zepp as she trotted along happily, sniffing the garbage cans they passed. "No thank you Dean, I am comfortable where I am at the moment."

That'd make sense, he had just broken up with Glen...a month ago...and it was a pretty long relationship... but Dean wasn't complaining; at all.

They slipped into silence at that, making their way back to the apartment soon after. Once there Castiel hopped onto the couch to be joined by his laptop and Zepp, who apparently didn't want to let Castiel out of her sights. Not that Dean blamed her for that one, he did seem off still.

Dean went into his room and grabbed some clean clothing before hopping into the shower. Dean spent a couple extra minutes in the shower (which he hoped no one would notice) and when he came out of the shower he looked a lot more perkier, and that kind of made sense.

Once getting ready for bed he walked into the living room to see Castiel smiling like a huge fool at his computer screen with Zepp looking pointedly at the screen, her head tilted to the side like she was copying Castiel. Like a moth to a bug zapper, Dean had to see what this was about so walking over and up and leaning over he saw the screen.

It was Anna, her hair was all messy, her face free of any makeup. She looked a five year old as she did a little puppet show with her hands, it apparently was silent since she didn't make any sound but she had headphones in and the moment she saw Dean she grinned and waved happily.

Castiel turned his head slightly to look at Dean, "Hello Dean." He moved over so that Dean could squish himself next to Castiel.

"What's going on Cas?" He asked, waving to the screen and Anna before turning back to Castiel. Castiel shrugged, "Anna's microphone doesn't work but she was able to Skype me." He said this as if it wasn't a big deal but Dean could hear the concern hidden in that voice.

A little pop sound came from Castiel laptop and he opened the message from Anna before quickly closing the chat. "Anna Novak!" Castiel reprimanded.

"What'd she say?" Dean asked, reaching over to reopen the message but Castiel batted his hand away.

"Nothing!" If this was anyone else that Castiel was talking to, they would have thought Castiel was mad. But Dean, knowing Castiel, knew this was his 'I'm embarrassed and I don't want you to know why' voice. So Dean tried again to see what the message was, but was smacked away from it once again. "Dean Winchester I will hurt you!" Castiel threatened without any real malice behind it but Dean still stopped and opted instead to watch the Anna as she seemed to have a seizure.

"Is Anna okay?" He asked quietly as he watched her bounce up and down in her seat and flail her arms around a bit, much like Becky did whenever she was excited. Oh so it wasn't a seizure it was just an infectious disease that the majority of women in Dean's life had.

"I think she is fine..." Castiel insured with a tone of insecurity in it. Anna however didn't seem done with her little freak out and started to actually use freaking sign language to communicate with Castiel. Sadly for Dean he pretty much only knew 'thank you', 'thirsty' and 'fuck you' (he wasn't even sure if the middle finger was the proper way to actually sign it).

Whatever Anna was saying however was clearly embarrassing enough to make Castiel start to blush, "N-No! It's not!" Was he _stuttering?_ Castiel Novak, FBI agent and constant hard ass was stuttering? Okay, Dean so needed to get to the bottom of this.

"Anna!" He called, pushing Castiel and Zepp out of his way so he took up the entire screen. "What are you telling him?" Anna laughed at this, or it looked like she was because she was throwing her head back, chest heaving that was until she held up one finger and scampered off to go do something.

In the meantime Cas was pushing Dean as Dean had basically laid himself across Castiel's crossed legs. "Dean you're heavy! You'll put my legs to sleep!" He complained, a joking air to his voice.

"Oh suck it up Novak!" Dean called back, grabbing the laptop and holding it with both hands as Castiel started to move his legs around violently. Zepp, seeing that there was going to be rough housing soon, jumped off the couch and went over to the other chair, curling herself around it.

Both agents didn't notice this, because by this time they were fighting over the laptop. Castiel had lifted his hips enough so that Dean had rolled off the couch and onto the floor still holding the laptop. When Castiel had reached over to grab it Dean had gripped his wrist, pulling him down so that he landed right on Dean. However the fight didn't end then, oh no.

No, Castiel started to shimmy up Dean's body to try and reach the laptop that Dean held as far away from Castiel as he could. When Castiel was getting to close Dean pushed the laptop away with his fingertips before concentrating all of his attention on the wriggling Castiel that was grinning like a fifteen year old.

There was no way Dean was letting Castiel get the laptop, this was way too much fun. So, Dean being the very mature man that he was, started to run his hands over the common ticklish spots on a human’s body. He found Castiel's the second his fingers skidded over the other man's side; near the third rib from the bottom (the same place Dean was ticklish himself). It was completely an accident but Castiel had let out a totally surprised mewl before looking down at Dean and blushing horribly. Dean broke out laughing at that, causing Castiel to shake a little at how loud and violent Dean's chest moved at that. So, doing the best to steady himself, Castiel placed a hand on Dean's chest, right above his heart.

Time seemed to slow down then, to sound perfectly corny, but it really did. Dean's heart was beating adrenaline right into his bloodstream and all over his body, causing everything to seem slower. Causing Dean to notice that sometime in their battle of bodies Castiel had ended up with his legs around Dean's waist, his knees resting on either side of his hips, and his ankles hooked on the back of Dean's calves.

Dean heard Castiel's breath as it started to calm down, watched as his chest stopped heaving, felt his heart pounding from where Dean's hand still sat on Castiel's rib cage. Dean was pretty sure that he could feel something against his lower pelvis but the moment he was going to move his eyes from Castiel's chest and watched as Castiel's face flushed a deep dark red.

"Gabriel?!" He screeched, honest to god, screeched, before clumsily untangling himself from his place around Dean and stumbling towards the open laptop.

Dean, now being free of Castiel's strong hold, was able to flip around from his back to his stomach. Now was able to take in what Castiel was blushing about. Apparently during the wrestling match Anna had come back with Gabriel and Pamela. So three people, had totally witnessed the most action Dean (and possibly Cas) had gotten in months. And it wasn't even sexual, not until Dean found Castiel's ticklish spot and Cas had made that fucking sexy sound roll out of his throat.

Realizing that this happened all in front of Castiel's two older siblings Dean's face heated up till it matched Castiel's. "It wasn't what it looked like!" Dean called towards the computer, noticing how they all were still smirking like fat cats. Anna, who was threateningly close to the screen was shaking from laughing too hard.

“Anna! What are you doing?!” Castiel accused as Anna’s slender hands went over the keyboard and pressed some buttons.

“Cas! Just end the call!” Dean nearly yelled in desperation as he stood up and walked over to the computer as if it was a bomb; which it was. It was a bomb, a bomb that would destroy his entire social life with anyone that found out he had totally been getting a hard-on by wrestling his best friend.

Anna moved both her hands up in a sign of defeat and walked away from the laptop; mouthing “sorry, sorry” as she did so. However, Anna’s retreat didn’t stop Gabriel from his constant laughing or Pamela from grinning.

“I’m going to bed.” Dean grumbled out, totally planning on ditching Castiel. But Cas turned around and grabbed Dean’s arm before he could move, “You are sorely misinformed if you think you can remove yourself from this one Winchester.”

Dean would have left if this had happened with anyone else; or made it into a joke. But this was with Cas, his Castiel (he would selfishly call Cas ‘his’ in his head till the day he died…even if Castiel moved on).

So Dean sat down on the couch and Castiel joined him, their legs slotted side by side as Castiel placed the laptop between them.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

It was a long night, the teasing continued from the other Novaks. It all ended very abruptly at around eleven as Alastair had come back at that time. Whatever happened afterwards Dean and Castiel had no idea since Anna had just quickly waved and pressed the end button. Staring at themselves on Castiel’s laptop screen Dean turned to Castiel and raised an eyebrow, “That seem normal to you?”

“No,” Castiel admitted, turning back to the screen and frowning, “She worries me.”

“Yeah I know…”

* * *

The next day was horribly busy, what with the constant working and spying they were beat by five and considered not going to their normal hang out with Charlie and Becky. But apparently Castiel had asked if Anna would like to come and she had informed him that she would love to. So it was a little too late to back down from this one.

However, just cause they couldn’t back down didn’t mean they weren’t tired; cause they were. They stopped at home, made a cup of coffee that they stuffed into two different thermoses before hitting the streets with Zepp for her walk.

It was warm enough for them to be comfortable in their newly changed clothing and the streets took on the easy quiet that surrounded the boys as they walked. Sadly half way through making their average round the sky decided it’d be a great idea to open up and let it all pour out.

Realizing that they'd get soaked they both ran their way home, Dean pushing Castiel playfully out of the sections of sidewalk that didn't have rain while Castiel retaliated by getting in his way when they got to the door of their building. Needless to say, when they finally got upstairs, they were soaked. Too lazy to change their clothing they just kind of stood around until the rain soaked clothing warmed up a little bit.

Deciding it was time to leave Dean wrapped himself in his old leather jacket while Castiel had an actual, swear to god, trench coat. "You actually own a trench coat Cas?" Dean mused, trying not to find him ridiculously cute in the beige fabric as he did.

Castiel shuffled slightly in his spot before nodding, "I do. Samandriel gave it to me when I was first made an official member of the CIA. He said that 'all badasses wear long coats'." He made those adorable air quotes as he quoted Samandriel and Dean could only grin.

"Awesome."

Maybe Castiel blushed at that, maybe he didn't, because right at that moment he turned towards the apartment door and started that way, "Let’s get going. They're probably worrying about us."

Dean snorted at that and shook his head, "Yes sir." He said teasingly before exiting the apartment behind Castiel.

* * *

They got to Jesse's a little later than expected because once they parked Castiel had looked around for a dry place to smoke. Dean of course, followed Castiel and helped him find a place near a dumpster. They stood there for a while just talking, telling each other that the safe word was still 'funky town' just in case Alastair came over (apparently Anna and Alastair were staying in Gabriel and Pamela's extra bedroom so the bastard could come downstairs and take Anna away from them at any moment. It honestly worried Dean how Castiel defined Alastair showing up as taking Anna away but he didn't say anything, it wasn't exactly his place.

Once they finally were inside of the bar they were about twenty minutes late, the majority of that time spent on them trying to dry off in the apartment and talking while Castiel went for a smoke.

When they boys made their way to their table they noticed something very strange; it was occupied by four people and not the three they were expecting. Dean counted off, two redheads, one blonde and a... Oh, Dean knew that hat.

"Benny?"

Benny stood up and grinned, giving Dean a proper bro-hug when he was close enough. "Pleasure to see ya brother."

Dean grinned as he let go of Benny and patted the man on the shoulder, "What the hell Benny? What are you doing in Washington?"

Benny smiled slightly at that and nodded towards Castiel in hello, Castiel returning the same courtesy as he took the seat next to Anna and the empty seat that would be Dean's.

Dean sat down and looked at Benny; waiting for the story to unfold. Becky however cut in with a smile and a giddy voice, "I told Benny he should visit since he was driving down South this way!"

Dean turned to Becky with a confused face, picking up her beer before turning back to Benny, "You're going down South?"

Benny nodded, knocking back his rum and coke before continuing, "Ay." He mused, looking at Becky for a quick minute before placing the glass down, "It was 'suggested' that I was to move to another bureau after the incident in New York." he shrugged, "I got a Novak on my side who sought fit to suggest me to an Agent named Fitzgerald-" Whatever Benny was saying was lost in the sound of Dean spitting out some of his beer.

Castiel patted Dean on the back, a little harder than necessary by the way, but kept himself emotionless as Dean spluttered. "As in Garth Fitzgerald the Fourth?"

Benny, giving Dean a look like he was on some strong drug or something, nodded, "The very same. Ya know him?"

Dean shook his head and slid the beer back over to Becky, motioning his hand for Pamela to come over to him to give him his own beer. "Garth's an odd ball, I worked with him on a case once. Man's a little... eccentric."

Benny nodded at that, fiddling with his empty glass, "That's what Gabriel said when he suggested him."

"Gabe suggested him?" Anna cut in, leaning forward slightly, now interested in this conversation; trading glances with Castiel.

Benny saw the looks but was too much of a gentleman to comment. "Yeah, Gabe helped me out some and in turn I'm helping him." He shrugged and gave his empty glass to Pamela, "Another one please, if ya wouldn't mind darlin'." He smiled, his accent making everything like honey.

Pamela laughed and nodded, taking the glass from Benny, "Not a problem hun." She teased before placing a hand on her hip and giving Dean and Castiel a death stare. "And where the hell have you two been? 'Fighting' over a computer?"

Dean covered up his blush by coughing, which didn't seem to help his case. Castiel however shook his head, "Dean was kind enough to stay outside and help me find a properly shaded area to smoke."

The whole table's attention seemed to be on Dean and Cas at this moment, staring them down like they were the talk of the town... which they kind of were. "It's no problem Cas." Dean said softly, refusing to look over at the other man.

Castiel just let out a little huff of air before turning his attention onto Pamela, "Can we have two beers? The normal."

Pamela nodded and smiled, "Yeah babe, anything for you." She teased in a more friendly fashion than with Dean before she walked away, leaving the table to take on their previous conversations.

Charlie turned to Anna and smiled softly, "So is your hair naturally that color?" Anna laughed and Castiel joined in, making this obviously a Novak joke.

Anna sat up in her seat and fluttered her hand around to help explain herself, "See that’s the strangest thing, I had blonde hair for years. I mean years." She started, talking to the whole table as her smile lit the place up, "But one day, in my rebellious years of being a teenager I dyed my hair black." She actually giggled and shook her head, as if trying not to believe it. "It’s so weird!" She added, looking around the table; her eyes sticking on Dean and Castiel for a moment before turning back to Charlie, "The moment my roots started to come in they weren't blonde, they were ginger. I haven't been blonde ever since then."

Benny laughed at that and shook his head, "If it makes ya feel any better Anna, I came out a raging ginger, then I hit puberty and I got stuck with this." He removed his hat to ruffle up his own brown hair before smiling at the girls who giggled. Charlie reached over and fixed the new fly away that had formed on Benny's head.

As she did she turned towards Castiel and smiled, "So what did Pamela mean by the computer thing?"

The next event happened in a series of Anna bursting out in maniacal laughter, Dean trying to count to ten backwards and Castiel's face going pale. Apparently their reactions were reason enough to keep all six of them on the subject of the incredibly embarrassing happenings of the night before. To make it even worse, Anna had pictures. Actual, legitimate pictures. She sent one to Castiel as proof (since she so wasn't handing over her phone) and let’s just say there was a lot of spilling beer and laughter.

Dean was pretty sure he'd smell like alcohol for another week and a half but he didn't mind in the end; he was having way too much fun watching his best friends actually get along.

It had to be near nine at night that Benny and Castiel actually started to talk, and not just the normal snarky comments but actual talking. It had started awkwardly, Castiel asking if he had any other family, to which Benny shook his head, "Got a cousin, Elizabeth, down in Carencro. But besides that, Dean's got to be the only brother I got anymore."

There was a silence as that settled in and Castiel spoke up once more, "I'm sorry for causing you discomfort." He admitted, truly feeling awkward; Dean could tell.

Benny however shrugged it off easily with that southern smile and easy charisma. "It's not a big thing Castiel. Life moves right on, ya gotta go with it." And just like that, whatever silent dispute they had been having seemed to leave.

The party officially ended thirty minutes later, when Alastair came downstairs almost demanding that Anna should go to bed. Dean and Castiel sat there quietly, watching the scene as Benny, the ever present nobleman, stood up to the plate.

"I believe the young lady can choose whenever she wishes to go to bed or not." It was harsh, and strong, and a lot of Benny's constant protectiveness of any female showing through. Dean vaguely wondered if he should stop Benny, but then again Benny had always been his own person.

Alastair seemed more amused and annoyed at his challenge than anything else. "I recall her also being able to speak for herself, Agent." The table of faces turned to Anna for her response and she seemed to break under the pressure.

Standing up she waved to the entire table as a collective group, "He's right. I am rather tired." Alastair smirked, reminding Dean vaguely of a those manipulative bastards that frequented action movies. "Good night everyone." Anna called before letting Alastair wrap an arm around her and take her away from them all.

The group disbanded after that, everyone suddenly tired as there was a sudden lack of life and love that Anna brought to the table. Soon enough, Charlie, Becky, Castiel, Benny and Dean were all walking out of Jesse's and towards their respected cars.

Charlie hugged Castiel for a moment, whispering some sort of secret into his ear as she did so. Castiel smiled and nodded and Dean ignored the need to know exactly what she said, being distracted by Becky grabbing onto him like an octopus. "Dean!" She called so he would look down.

"Yeah Becky?" He asked, moving the strands of her hair that were out of place. Becky smiled deviously and lowered her voice so that he was the only one to hear her, "I think you and Cas are adorable."

Dean was about to reply with a 'we're not dating' but was sidelined by Castiel himself walking over and nodded his head towards the impala, "Time to go?"

Dean gave Becky a look before turning his attention back to Castiel and nodding; "Yeah man." Giving Benny a quick bro-hug they walked over to the impala and climbed in. Dean was happy that for the first time the rain had stopped. The sky wasn't that promising for tomorrow. Dean would deal.

Pulling away from Jesse's they started their way home, keeping up some chatter. "Dean," Castiel started, turning in his sight away from his cigarette to look at his partner.

"Yeah Cas?"

Castiel took a drag before holding the cigarette out of the window, "Benny, why do you trust him?"

Ah, so there was still no trust behind Castiel's kindness. Good to know. Dean cleared his throat and shrugged, "Benny and me, we worked a case a couple years back. He saved my life and from then on we kept in contact." He shrugged as he turned onto their street. "I guess you can say I got to know the guy. He's always been there when I need him, never has let me down. Not once."

Cas nodded at this and took another drag before throwing the butt out of the window. "That’s good to know."

Dean hummed in response before stopping the car in a parking spot and getting out; both making their way to the apartment for a well-deserved sleep.

* * *

Saturday was the day of rain, it really was. When Dean woke up, an hour and a half later than Castiel he noticed that the other man had not only made coffee but was gone with Zepp. So, pouring himself a cup of coffee he sat down on the couch and waited, checking his phone. He replied to some of Sam's texts (all rather stupid and that was why he didn't reply), he checked his e-mail and finally pulled up his Tetris app. The moment he did however the apartment door opened and a rather wet looking Zepp ran in and jumped Dean, covering him head to toe in the smell of wet dog.

"Aughh! Zepp!" He called wiping the wet dog kisses from his face and the wet dog hairs that were getting stuck everywhere. Castiel just shrugged off his trench coat and hung it up before slipping out of his shoes and walking over. "Good morning Dean." He called, sending a smile towards Dean as he walked past and into the kitchen.

"Good morning Cas!" Dean called into the other room as he held Zepp back from drowning his face in dog slobber. "Thanks for taking Zepp out." he added as soon as Castiel appeared around the corner to rest his hip on the molding of the archway.

Cas shook his head and took another sip of his coffee before yawning slightly, "It was no problem Dean, and she wanted to go out anyway."

Dean shook his head and smiled at that, allowing the conversation to drop. Castiel joined Dean on the couch and pulled his laptop onto the top of his knees like he always did.

Dean ended up putting on Die Hard before getting his own laptop and using it to do work and other things, like look up the chords for some songs and the like.

It was around noon when Castiel's phone started to buzz for attention. Castiel, never one to keep his phone ringing for long answered it after the first chords of:

_I  am a man, man, man, man_   
_Up, up in the air_

"Good afternoon Anna." Castiel spoke into his phone, the volume loud enough for Dean to hear what was going on.

"Hi Cassie! Look Alastair is out for the day and I'm bored and I was wondering if I could come over to your and Dean's place."

Castiel opened his mouth as if to correct Anna but thought better of it and shut his mouth, giving a short nod, "Yeah of course Anna, do you need to be picked up?"

Anna's bright laugh came over the phone speakers, "No Cassie, I can walk. I'll be there in 20." With that she hung up, obviously one of those people that wasn't one for goodbyes.

Dean groaned and rested his head against the back of the couch, "Casssss." He whined teasingly, alerting the other man. "Now I have to change." he motioned down to his pajamas and Castiel's pervious worry turned into that of a bitch face.

"No you don't Dean, she will probably be dressed comfortably as well. Don't worry." He waved his hand around as he stood up and started towards his suitcase. "I do have to do my laundry however." He mused, placing his clothing in a mesh bag Dean had let him have to carry his clothing downstairs. "I cannot keep wearing your clothing."

 _'Yeah you could.'_  Dean thought before standing up and walking into the bedroom to grab his own dirty clothing. They made their way downstairs with their large piles of stinky clothing and set them up in the washers before standing around the front door (that they barely ever used) to wait for Anna.

She showed up ten minutes later, holding an umbrella and looking like the most adorable little shit ever. Dean decided that everyone in the Novak family that was directly related to Cas had this ridiculous gene called 'fucking adorable' because Anna's hair was braided and she had taken one of the white flowers from the yard and placed it behind her ear and she was still wearing her pajamas, despite being in her mid-30s and in the nation's capital. Dean opened the door and she walked in after, shaking the umbrella off.

Anna turned to the boys and hugged Castiel happily before gently hugging Dean. "Hi guys!" She pulled away, placing a slender hand on each of their shoulders to look at them, "So! Let me see this apartment of yours!" She said excitedly, grinning ear to ear at something. "Oh! And the dog! I want to meet Zepp!"

Dean, always one to show off his dog nodded, "Alright. Let’s go." They made their way into the elevator and through the third floor towards the apartment. The moment they got there Dean could hear Zepp inside, pacing and excited. The bastard always knew when something was up.

Opening the door it took 5.2 seconds for Zepp to have tackled Anna to the ground and lick the ever loving shit out of her. Both Dean and Cas were accustomed to Zepp's large and unnecessary love fests so instead of helping Anna up they both just kind of stood there and laughed.

Once Zepp was done proclaiming her love she let Anna get up with some help from Cas. They walked into the apartment and Anna took her time looking around, seeming to stare at Dean's bed like she was trying to find evidence there or something. When she didn't find what she was looking for she turned to the two agents behind her. "Cassie, where do you sleep?"

Oh, that's where she was getting at.

"I sleep on the couch." Castiel motioned behind him and Anna passed the two to look at the large, black leather couch with a raised eyebrow.

"Isn't that uncomfortable?" She questioned, turning towards Castiel. Cas just shook his head and walked over, plopping himself on the blankets and moving his laptop out of the way.

"Not at all, I find it is actually more comfortable than my previous bed."

"Huh." Anna mused, joining her younger brother on the couch and wriggling around to get more settled. "I suppose it is rather comfortable." She admitted before looking forward and noticing the large, nerd collection Dean had. "Are... Are those all your movies Dean?"

Dean nodded, rubbing the back of his head, "Yes ah... yeah." For some odd reason, Castiel seeing his collection was so different than Anna seeing it. Anna removed herself from the couch and ran over, looking through the TV series he had, than his blu-rays and then finally the hidden DVDs.

"Dean Winchester!" She yelped, grabbing for something, Dean's heart falling down into his stomach acid.

"Yeah Anna?"

Anna whipped around, holding a movie out for them both to see. Well shit.

"We're watching this!" She called, turning back towards the dvd to put freaking Titanic in.

"Anna no!" Castiel called, a slight panic in his voice.

Anna just waved him off, "Don't worry Cassie, we're not going to judge you for crying." With that she turned on the TV, grabbed the remote and sat on the other side of Castiel, taking up the majority of the couch with her legs. There was only space for Dean to sit and that was squished next to Cas. Sure, he could sit all by himself in the other chair but there was no way he was watching a three and a half hour movie all crammed into that chair. So he sat next to Cas, their legs touching slightly and it being slightly awkward. When the movie started the level on the awkward scale lowered dramatically. Castiel was lost to the world, watching the movie intently, his brow furrowing as if he was getting ready for the pain the movie would give him.

They made it through the majority of the movie, Castiel didn't cry, not when Jack died at least. Anna by the very end of the movie was fast asleep, somehow moving so her feet were facing towards Dean and Castiel, almost like she had intentionally given them space. It was a good thing she did, because the very moment that Rose and Jack met once more on the Titanic at the very end Dean could feel the stiff arm of Castiel starting to shake, signaling the start of extreme emotion.

Dean, not wasting a minute, turned to Castiel. "Cas," He started, unsure of what to say now that he had the other man's attention. "It's just a movie."

Castiel let out a little broken chuckle, looking over Dean's shoulder so not to meet his eyes. "It's not their storyline per se..." He started, looking down at his own hands now, his eyes starting to get red, making the blue of his corneas pop more.

This took Dean back a peg and he tilted his head slightly, gaining some of Castiel's characteristics from being around him too much. "What is it then?"

Castiel took a deep breath, not trusting himself enough to talk. "It's just that..." He looked Dean in the eyes now and Dean could see the pain as clear as day, like this was something that really mattered and Dean couldn't look away, even if he tried. "Look, Rose and Jack... they symbolize a sort of childhood dream and how one can leave those fantasies of a happy, long lived life but they always return to it." He bit his lip and shook his head, breaking the eye connection for just a moment before returning to stare into Dean's soul. And then, just like that, Castiel professed his. "I get upset every time because I wonder, I wonder if life is really like this. If we can meet that one person that so drastically changes us that we can never have. That leaves us or never says anything and if we'll meet again after death. Because, Dean, I don't believe it. I don't believe that there is a Heaven that watches over us and insures us to meet our 'soulmate' in the afterlife. I believe that every day we have with that person is the only way to ensure our happiness. Death separates us from all, every memory, every moment we hold to us like we're drowning." Dean thought Castiel was done, he really did but the moment that he went to open his mouth the other agent continued, "And it scares me, that I could waste entire decades of my life never knowing who this one person, if they even exist, is." He finally removed his eyes from Dean before continuing, his next words settling in Dean's heart for the rest of eternity, "Or when I finally do find them... I can't be sure. Doubt is what kills hope, Dean."

Shocked by Castiel's speech Dean had no idea what to say, "I'm sur-" Dean was cut off by a rather noisy ring tone of the psycho shower sound from Hitchcock's movie. Both Castiel and Dean turned towards Anna who almost jumped five feet in the air at the sound.

She scrambled for her phone and answered it with an urgent "Hello?" As soon as Anna heard whatever it was she jumped up and nodded, "Yes I am, What do you want for dinner?" She held her phone between her shoulder and head as she used both her hands to sign to Castiel, who translated for Dean.

"Dean, she's asking if we can drive her home. Apparently Alastair is coming home sooner than she believed." Dean just nodded at this, going over and grabbing his keys, jacket and slipping on his shoes; Castiel right behind him. They were out of the apartment with Anna still on the phone. They got to the elevator and Dean leaned over to Cas, "Tell her we have to take the stairs, or she'll lose service."

Castiel nodded, signing to Anna as they walked farther down the hallway to the door to the stairway. They stayed as quiet as they could as Anna kept her conversation up with Alastair, "I was thinking spaghetti. But I'm not sure if we have any at Gabe's place...We should...I'll go check as soon as I'm off the phone with you babe...Well, it's really loud down there with all the drunks." She let out a little forced laugh and nodded, "No, no don't worry yourself about it.... Alright bye babe." She hung up and started jumping the stairs till they got to the basement floor.

Dean and Castiel followed her and they easily made it out of the apartment and onto the road in two minutes. Dean's speeding got them there in three minutes, almost no time for them to actually have a conversation; so they didn't. The moment they got there Anna opened the door before the car had even stopped and got out, running towards the passenger seat window and giving Castiel a quick kiss on the forehead and Dean a little wave, "Bye guys, it was nice!" She called before running into the bar; slamming the door behind her.

Dean pulled out almost instantly, not wanting Alastair to see him and Castiel there, because as it seemed Alastair didn't like Anna around Cas without his watchful eye. Dean didn't like it. Neither did Castiel obviously as he pulled his pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket. Placing the cigarette between his lips he patted his jacket and then his sweat pants, realizing he didn't have a lighter on him he groaned. Dean, telling that Castiel was not having an emotionally sound day just pointed towards the glove compartment, "Just use my lighter Cas."

Castiel looked over at Dean for a moment before nodding slowly, "Alright Dean." He almost sighed before pulling out the sacred lighter and starting the small smolder of tobacco and taking a drag. "I don't trust Alastair." He growled out, glaring out the windshield.

Dean nodded, "Agreed."

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, just the sounds of the busy city around them and Castiel placing the lighter back into his proper place.

* * *

Sunday was spent being rather lazy, the rain seemed to get harder now and they both decided that the gym was totally out of the question. Dean ended up playing 'Piece of my Heart' for a good three hours, trying to get the chords down which apparently Castiel didn't mind at all as he folded his clothing to put it away in his suitcase.

They ordered Chinese food and had it delivered, both sitting around and watching some of the Harry Potter movies once Dean took a break from playing guitar. This is how their Sunday went, and if Dean had known that day what was going to happen on Monday May 13th he might have mentioned something to Castiel. He might have told him all the things he never did, how much he didn't want him to go back to living with Gabriel when Anna left. How much he wanted Castiel to stop sleeping on the couch and join him in the bed, and just to put all his clothing into Dean's drawers. But Dean didn't know what was going to happen in one day, so he slept soundly that night; dreading the small deed of going to work tomorrow.

* * *

Monday was hell, well okay, it wasn't that bad. When Dean's alarm clock went off he rolled out of bed and groaned, feeling like death for some odd reason. He grabbed his suit and threw it on his bed before walking into the kitchen and grabbing his already made coffee. Leaning against the counter he thanked his lucky stars that Castiel was a runner. Every morning before work Cas would go out for an hour jog with Zepp, successfully draining her of energy and giving Castiel some. It also allowed Dean to walk around the apartment in just his boxers. Which, by the way, was nice.

Dean made his way into the bathroom and took a nice 20 minute shower, coming out into his room and getting dressed. Walking out just in time to watch Castiel close the bathroom door behind himself as he always did. Dean always made sure he never used all of the hot water so that Castiel could have a good shower. Dean made some toast and more coffee as he waited for Castiel to come out, once he did they hit the road and made it to work on time.

Walking up the stairs and into the office they talked about random shit, like which one of them would have lunch first to go check up on Anna and who would have it later. Dean called first watch as he was already starving and in need of a good burger. Castiel chuckled at that and slipped his suit jacket off the moment they got into the office; pulling out the little bit of paperwork they still had to fill out from the last case.

Around eleven Dean went on break and went to Jesse's which was only a five minute drive (if you're driving like you should). Dean got there in under three. Pulling up he walked into the bar area and sat down at the counter, smiling at Ash, who was barely sober enough to come out of the kitchen.

"Hey Ash. Where's Gabriel and Pamela?" He questioned, reaching over the bar and grabbing a glass and pouring himself some water.

Ash gave him a look but allowed him to anyway, "They're out in Bethesda picking up some more liquor." He shrugged, "Why what's up?" Dean shrugged, and ignored the question, even though he trusted Ash he didn't want to say what the problem was especially if Anna or Alastair could hear him.

"Got any burgers? I'm starving."

Ash nodded, his mullet bouncing as he did so, "Si Señor!"

Dean would honestly never understand why Ash would randomly answer with sometimes in Spanish and then other times with English. Maybe he had a nanny that was Spanish..? Dean snorted, no Nanny would let their child cut their hair in a mullet.

Shaking his mind from those thoughts he continued to talk to Ash, "Would you mind making me one?"

"One bacon cheeseburger medium rare coming right up!" Ash called over his shoulder as he disappeared into the kitchen. Dean sat there, in the very nearly empty bar and listened. This is what he would do for as long as Anna and Alastair stayed, he'd sit here and ignore everything but the sounds upstairs. He couldn't really go upstairs to see exactly what was going on but he knew for a fact (Castiel had gotten a text from Anna saying that she and Alastair had no plans for Monday) that they were up there.

There was some soft music playing upstairs, that wasn't that hard to miss and the sounds of someone dancing around, probably Anna dancing given Castiel's love for music as well.

Ash came out eight minutes later with the burger and a grin on his face, "Here you go Deano." He mused, cracking open two beers, handing one to Dean and saluting him before downing half of his own. Dean knew Ash had an extreme love for alcohol, and normally he'd be worried about the man working with kitchen fryers being drunk but Dean knew Ash. He knew him before he even realized that this was Gabriel's place. Ash was good friends with Dean's co-worker Jo Harvelle, well Jo Henriksen now; but still. Jo had told Dean how Ash was a genius, purely and completely, some freaking Sherlock Holmes of computers or something. Apparently Jo had used him multiple times on cases and he came through every time even if he was in a drunken stupor, so Dean trusted the man.

Dean sat and ate, listening to the second floor of the bar as Ash padded around, fixing the pool tables, cleaning up after some of the patrons and seeing if any of the current patrons needed anything else to drink. After 55 minutes Dean realized that he needed to get back to the office.

So, saying good bye to Ash he made his way back to the impala and back to the office. Walking onto his floor Becky was by his side, grinning, "So! Dean!" She giggled; like she had something planned. Dean didn't trust it.

"Yeah Rosen?" He sighed, stopping and turning towards the woman.

Becky grinned happily and motioned for him to lean down. "When you going to ask Cas to share your bed?"

"Becky!" Dean barked, trying very hard to control the heat that was traveling up to his neck and face. Becky just giggled and walked away at that moment, leaving Dean to think about that. Why didn't he ask Cas to just sleep in his bed? Oh that's right, because you have to be in a relationship to sleep in the same bed. If Dean wasn't determined to let Castiel find someone better than Dean while also making sure that Castiel didn't leave him, he would.

Sighing to himself Dean made his way towards the office, walking in to see Castiel at his desk, sleeves rolled up as he went through several papers and crossed some things out and highlighted others. Without looking up Castiel started to talk to Dean, "How'd it go?" He asked, pausing to give Dean a quick look before going back to the papers.

Dean shrugged and sat down heavily in his chair. "Boring, Gabriel and Pamela aren't there right now. They're taking care of getting more liquor..." He smirked to himself, "I think we drank them out of house and home."

Castiel let out a slight chuckle and placed his pen down, resting his chin on his knuckles as he looked over at Dean. "And Anna?"

"Anna..." Dean started shrugging and yawning slightly, "From what I could tell was dancing upstairs."

Castiel smiled softly and nodded, "That sounds much like Anna." He mused, stretching and sighing. "I hate this paperwork." He admitted, glaring at the papers in front of him.

"What are you working on anyway?" Dean asked, knowing that their cases were actually done.

Castiel looked up at Dean and frowned, "Something private." As if to back up this statement he grabbed a plan folder and stuffed the papers into it before putting it into his laptop bag. Dean was officially interested.

"Oh come on Cas! What is it?" He never annoyed Cas about all the little things, so he could about one thing... right?

Cas didn't think so obviously, "Dean I'll tell you when it's done." And that was it. They jumped into their average silence and Dean started to reevaluate Becky's statement; realizing this was all probably a bad idea. So if he started to stare at his paperwork no one could really blame him.  

It was around two when Castiel stood up, "I'm going to go get lunch. I'll be back in an hour."

Dean looked up from his paperwork (he had started to actually do work after an hour of just staring) and nodded, "Alright." He said, giving Cas a soft smile and a little nod of encouragement.

"I'll see you soon Dean." He said before closing the office door behind himself.

* * *

Castiel didn't come back after an hour.

He didn't after two.

It was 4:30 when Dean was about to stand up and go down to Jesse's when he got the call. His phone rung the annoying ringtone of 'Candyman' by Christina Aguilera that Gabriel had set for himself and Dean couldn't change.

Answering it right away he almost jumped out of his seat, "Gabriel where is he? He was su-" Dean's voice was panicked but Gabriel didn't bother letting him finish his question before cutting in.

"I'm sorry Dean."

"What happened to him?!" Dean's voice rising up so high that he was surprised no one came running through the door. Gabriel was obviously trying to calm Dean down but that wasn't going to happen; not until he told him what was going on.

"He's in the hospital."

Dean was pretty sure he was going to throw up, nausea rolling over him in waves. "How?" He choked out, his body shaking as he grabbed onto the desk for support.

"Alastair."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drammmaaaa in this chapter >;3 I hope you all are enjoying it ;D 
> 
> Things are getting real serious now so I'll hopefully be uploading the next chapter soon because I don't want to keep you guys waiting... for long XD


	8. Bedside Manners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dean's a bit of an emotional teenager in this one but I hopefully did it right ;A; 
> 
> I was also a little excited to get this chapter up because I know some people really wanted it (looking at you SiriuslyDestiel ;D) so yeah :3 plus I just kinda of the build of it.

Dean didn't waste any time leaving, still on the phone with Gabriel he walked out of the office, only to be met with Bobby. "Winchester we have a cas-" Dean held up a hand.

"Go fucking ask Jo!" He yelled, causing every head of every desk worker, of every other agent, to turn towards him.

"The fuck is wrong with you boy?" Bobby growled out, following Dean towards the door to the parking lot.

"Cas in the fucking hospital, that's what the fuck is wrong!" He ignored Bobby's face of shock and sudden understanding and completely bypassed Becky as she stood up to go over to him. He was making a beeline for the parking lot.

Pressing the phone to his ear he continued to talk to Gabriel. "What hospital?"

"MedStar." Gabriel answered as if he knew that's what Dean was going to ask. "But Dean, don't rush."

Dean climbed into the Impala and started her up before skidding out onto the road, luckily MedStar was only 12 minutes away from work. He'd make it there in eight. "Why?" He growled, pressing on the gas as he swerved in and out of cars, ignoring every single horn that was directed towards him.

"Because he's not going to be up for awhile." Gabriel's voice was trying to be soothing, and if this had been anyone else but Castiel, Dean would have listened. He really would have, but this was Cas they were talking about. _His_  Castiel; the one Dean had been pining after from since the first day, the one that had his heart on his back, hidden from all the world. His Cas that made coffee from Dean's favorite whole beans, who cried over Titanic and sang songs from the Hobbit.

"What do you mean he's not going to be up?" Dean was well aware that his voice was past the point of rude and into a more fitting category of vicious.

"He has head trauma, there was swelling..." Gabriel started, as if that'd help explain everything. However, all Dean could do was press harder on the gas, trying not to actually ram the cars out of his way. "They said that if I signed for an induced coma it'd help with the swelling and lower the chances of brain injury tremendously..." He almost sounded like a little kid admitting to breaking the family vase.

"SO YOU PUT HIM IN A COMA!?!" Dean flat out screamed at his phone, blowing past the yellow light ahead of him. "Are you fucking kidding me Gabriel?!"

"Calm down Dean! Just get here and I'll explain. Sign in as a Novak by the way." With that Gabriel hung up, probably needing a break from Dean and his feral attitude.

Dean threw his phone into the passenger seat so violently that he was glad that Castiel rolled up the window every time he left the car, otherwise the phone would have gone right out the window. Dean tried to breath but it didn't help, not with the smell of cigarettes, the smell that Castiel had left permanently in his car, invading his senses. Dean stopped trying to calm his breath after that, or calm down at all. Because he knew the moment he did he would break down.

This would happen to him, this would. His life was starting to get in order, he was starting to get everything set up and Castiel had to get his ass kick by his sister's boyfriend. Dean's hands went white over the steering wheel. The moment, the very moment Castiel woke up Dean was going to go find Alastair and beat the ever loving shit out of him. Than he'd call up Bobby and ask him where a good place to hide a body would be. Because there was no way in Hell Alastair was getting away alive.

That was a promise.

* * *

Dean made it to the hospital eight minutes early, with a cop car following him. He ignored the cop and ran into the hospital, allowing the officer to write down his license plate and realize he was part of the FBI. They'd let him go.

Signing himself in under the name of Dean Novak (which by the way felt very weird), Dean punched Gabriel's number and called him, "Gabe were the fuck is he?"

Gabriel gave him directions and soon enough Dean as outside the room where Gabriel was standing, Pamela by his side and a very, very shaken up Anna. If Dean had thought Cas would be the only one injured he was wrong. Gabriel had a slow forming bruise on his chin and his knuckles were busted to hell but Anna had it much worse than Gabriel. Her arm was in a sling, there were several small abrasions all over her face and she had a large gauze pad taped onto her left shoulder. However, Dean's eyes zeroed in on the bed in the room behind them.

Yeah, Dean wanted to hurl. Castiel was hooked up to several IVs, more than Dean had been when he was in the hospital before. His arm was already placed in a sling and he was banged up to hell. His nose was crooked and swollen so it was probably broken, his eye was starting to swell as well and his lip was obviously busted. He was also covered scrapes and cuts, ranging from papercut size to 'i accidently stabbed you with scissors' size.

Dean walked closer towards Castiel, closing the door behind him. His breathing was a lot quieter now, calming himself as he walked closer and closer, the other man's face covered with butterfly bandages and steri strips. He could hear Gabriel whispering something to Anna and Pamela but Dean wasn't paying enough attention to this. He was too busy staring at Castiel, his measured breathing, how whomever had taken care of him had slicked his hair back so it made him look so awkward and out of place.

Grabbing a chair Dean pulled it close enough to the bed so he could reach over Castiel with no problem. He slowly moved his hand over Castiel's head and moved his fingers through the brown mess, making it spike up and went crazy like it always did. And just like always, coming in contact with Castiel calmed Dean, calmed him right to the core like someone shooting muscle relaxant into a raging bull. His fingers had finished their job with Castiel's hair so, instead of leaving his face, Dean's fingers traveled down to the man's stubbled jaw, his fingers finally caressing that which he wished for so long.

It hit him than like a ton of bricks, sure Cas would eventually wake up, eventually, but for the time being he had lost the one person that he trusted as much as Sam. The only person. Someone Dean knew would always have his back, always, was lying in an induced coma because Dean wasn't there. Because they should have taken their break together.

"You stupid son of a bitch." Dean mumbled, his thumb running over a slow forming bruise on Castiel's cheek. "You could have called." Leaning over he placed his forehead against the other man's forehead, smelling this horrible antiseptic aroma around him. Dean remembered Castiel's comments about smelling and showers, how Cas would complain about the hospital order.

Suddenly Dean was horrified, realizing that Castiel wasn't in his normal clothes. He had to be in some kind of brain shock to not really realize it before but that meant... "They showered you didn't they?" He growled out, removing his hand from Castiel's features. "They fucking did didn't they?" Okay, Dean was well aware he was going through a horrible moment but he didn't care, he really didn't. They had touched Castiel and they had taken his back for granted, whatever was back there, etched into his skin. They had just looked at it and shaken their heads, having no idea what kind of power it contained, what kind of freaking symbol it actually meant. Luckily for all the nurses and support staff Gabriel walked in just than, all alone.

"Dean we need to talk."

"No fucking shit." He growled, not moving from the seat next to Castiel. Even if the freaking Navy Seals came in there was no way to remove Dean from his seat. Gabriel seemed to know that so he took the spare chair and brought it over. Leaning on his elbows on his knees he looked forward towards Dean.

For a long moment they just stared, nothing like how he and Castiel stared, there was no extreme display of emotion in those eyes that could be translated into words, no, there was emotion and Dean could pick it out easily but the message there was lost.

Dean finally sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, "What happened to him, Gabe?" He finally asked feeling useless in this entire situation. Gabriel sighed and looked over at his younger brother before looking back at Dean.

"In all honesty, only Anna knows but she's too... traumatized to talk to me or Pamela about it." He sighed, "All I know was Ash called me and said Cas arrived ten minutes earlier and had gone directly upstairs. He heard a lot of banging. When I got home, I went upstairs and found Cas and Alastair in a fist fight. Cassie can fight but apparently Alastair likes to cheat." He shook his head. "From what I gather, Alastair had hurt Anna and Castiel has always taken it upon himself to protect her, even when we were kids. So he went upstairs and he must have stopped Alastair. Than the fist fight."

Dean nodded at that, seeing it unfold in his mind. Cas got to the bar, ordered a burger and heard some commotion upstairs. Cas, being Cas, would assume and  go upstairs and Cas being Cas would be right and Alastair would be beating on Anna like expected. Castiel would be filled with that very rare rage and would attack Alastair, the fight would happen and somehow (probably Alastair's larger size) Alastair would get the upper hand, mercilessly beating the shit out of Castiel until Gabriel showed up. Dean felt another wave of nausea hit him but he pushed it down.

"What are his injuries?" It was obvious that Dean could see a lot of them but he wouldn't doubt if there were more.

Gabriel took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, looking over Castiel as he talked, "Obviously the ones you can see, abrasions everywhere, a broken nose and arm... but then there's some head trauma... his collar bone is cracked, his got two broken ribs and a couple bruised ones. Alastair did him in for a number."

"No shit." He spat, anger filling his veins once again. "Where is Alastair anyway?"

Gabriel's face suddenly became very serious, "He disappeared when the medics came, I know he had a fucked up shoulder but that's all I have to go by so far."

"I'll find him." Dean growled, looking over his partner's emotionless face in his dreamless state.

Gabriel chuckled sourly at that, shaking his head, "Well fuck Winchester." He mused in spiteful way; causing Dean to look over. "Should have told him you loved him before he went into a god damn coma."

"Excuse me?" Dean growled, glaring at Gabriel, so not in the mood for this bullshit.

"You heard me Winchester." Gabriel rumbled, suddenly aggressive and threatening. "You have had months with my brother. I knew the moment I saw that letter from Charlie you weren't just finding out this information to spite him. You wanted to get to know him, to worm yourself into the little niches of his life! And bingo Deano! Despite your classic fuck ups he still thinks the sun shines out your ass. And you fucking ignored the feelings! This whole time and now that he's in a coma you suddenly come out on it! You are weak Winchester and Castiel deserves a better partner than you." With that Gabriel turned and left, leaving Dean alone with the unconscious Castiel and the slow 'beep beep' of his heart monitor.

Dean, unsure of how to react; did his most common expression of emotion and swiped a glass off of the table onto the floor, breaking it into a thousand pieces. It wasn't enough, it just wasn't, there was hot blooded rage rolling through him, causing him to want to smash everything in the room destroy every single thing in the room. To destroy the machines that were holding Castiel unconscious like he was in some sort of cryostasis, to break the emergency wall casing and to breaking every single plastic utensil in the room. However, he couldn't so he wouldn't. Instead he turned towards Castiel and watched his face. "Shit Cas. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He could feel his emotional walls breaking, he could feel the cracks of his dam slowly springing leaks and soon enough he'd be a mess; a complete and total mess. "I'll be back in an hour okay? I just I'm going to see if I can get Zepp in here. I bet she's already freaking a shit." With one more look over to Castiel Dean turned and left the room.

Stopping by the nurses desk he informed them that he was bringing in a dog. They seemed shocked by it and like they weren't going to allow it but the moment he told them he'd pay them all $300 between them they figured it could work. One of the nurses suggested getting one of the laundry baskets and just stuff the dog in there. Dean figured it'd work.

Leaving the hospital, Dean drove home, the seventeen minute drive only taking about ten as he wasn't going to slow down. Dean made it home and very second he did and opened the door Zepp walked out, not in her normal excited way but with her tail stuck between her legs and with a low whine. "Yeah me too girl." He sighed out, before walking in and going to feed her. While Zepp ate he packed his guitar and his binder of songs. He changed into jeans and the still unwashed AD/DC shirt that Castiel had worn the night before.

So what if Dean was a sentimental little shit? The only person that would know was in a coma.

Taking the stuff down to the car Dean walked Zepp before having her hop in. Once that was all settled he made his way back to the hospital and this time he was able to sneak into the back parking lot, closer to Castiel's room. Once out he brought them the stuff in with him. Leaving Zepp in the car Dean went inside. Placing the stuff down on the chair next to a silent Castiel was one of the oddest things Dean had ever done. He just looked like he was sleeping, not trapped.

Upon re-exiting the room he walked over to the nurses station, telling him that Zepp was out in the car. One of the kinder nurses, Layla Rourke as her name tag read, grabbed one of the laundry carts and brought it back with them. Dean got Zepp and convinced her to enter the large pushcart.

The cart was too tall for Zepp to jump into so Dean had to actually physically pick her up and put her in. Layla seemed to find this amusing and smiled softly but said nothing. She didn't really talk until they covered Zepp with a blanket and were heading down the hallway, "So is this the patient's dog?" She asked kindly, probably just making small talk.

Dean shook his head at that, looking down at the lump under the sheets as Zepp's ears perked up slightly. "Nah, She's mine." When Layla gave him a weird look at that Dean sighed. "She's very attached to him. There's only two other people she's extremely attached to besides me and that's my brother and Castiel."

"And Castiel is the patient?" She asked innocently, watching Dean's face as it fell into a pained shadow. "Yeah." He breathed, really wishing this conversation could just drop; but she wouldn't let it.

"And you... have feelings for Castiel?" Dean almost stopped dead in his spot at that, almost stopping the laundry cart. Was the whole world aware of this fact? Was Dean so blatantly in love with Castiel that a woman he had just met knew this?

"How do you figure?" Dean delayed, watching Layla as she looked down at the blanket covered dog. "No one pays three nurses $300 in cash to sneak a dog in." She commented before shrugging and giving him a wistful smile. "And I was on the clock when you first came in."

Ah, there it was. Dean would have gone under the radar about this whole ordeal if he hadn't come in here looking like some freaking hopped-up husband."Yeah well, don't tell him."

Layla laughed at that and slowed down her pace as they neared Castiel's room. "Well..." She started, looking at Dean for a name.

"Dean."

Layla smiled and held out her hand, "Well Dean, I'm pretty sure he already knows."

Dean's face turned a light shade of pink; "Why's that?" Dean needed to know what he was doing wrong, how all of a sudden his preconceived ideals of how his and Castiel's relationship were so vastly different from the truth.

Layla reached out and rested a hand over his, "Because when you were dropping off that guitar I saw you look at him and not just look but actually see him. Everyone wants to be looked at like that Dean. And even when he's sleeping I'm sure he can feel it."

Dean let out a small smile, feeling in all honesty, uncomfortable. Part of him only felt like these kind of moments were acceptable with the Novak's.... preferably only Castiel. Layla removed her hand and they continued on their way to Castiel's room. She helped Dean wheel in the cart so it would be hidden from view before tipping it over ever so slowly so that Zepp could get out.

The moment she was out Zepp made a beeline for Castiel, whining lowly at not being able to see him. Layla smiled softly and looked over at Dean, "You weren't lying were you?" She mused before starting towards the door, "I suggest taking your dog out at around 8:30, you'll have to leave by nine." And with that she was gone and it was just Dean, Cas and Zepp.

As soon as Layla left Zepp's whinings picked up, bringing Dean back to the dilemma of putting Zepp on the bed or not to. Deciding she'd be pissed at him for the rest of the night, Dean brought a chair over so that Zepp could hop from one place to another.

Zepp, accepting the help, jumped onto the chair and then carefully stepping onto the bed, reaching over Castiel's legs so that she could get into the body part free zone. Once there, she curled herself into a ball and rested her head on Castiel's leg, looking forlornly up at the sleeping man.

"Yeah I know it sucks girl, I know."

Walking over to the guitar filled seat Dean sat down, placing the binder over his lap and the guitar against his leg. He had two, almost three hours to be here and now that he had the time he had no idea how to pass it. This wasn't one of the normal Saturdays when Castiel would suggest something for Dean to play, this wasn't a time where Dean could look over at Castiel and go 'What do you think?'

Casitel was in a coma and that was that.

"Hey Cas..." He started, looking over at the sleeping man, well aware he couldn't talk back and probably couldn't understand. "I'm going to play some Janis for you okay?" Dean's fingers strummed the chords for 'Piece of my Heart' as he continued to look at Cas, not needing to look at his binder for this one.

Playing the chords Dean looked over at Cas, so quiet and still that he felt like the lyrics just wouldn't work. Not this time, "Cas can I tell you something?" He started working his fingers over the strings as he continued, "Well, even if you just thought 'no' it's too late, I'm telling you anyway." He mused, trying to keep his mood from sinking into depression. "You ruined my life." He paused the chords to look at Castiel before continuing. "You really did. The day I met you I was so happy, I thought my life was going great and then Becky told me you were my new partner and everything changed."

Dean started playing again, now at the chorus, "Don't feel bad about it Cas, really don't. Because you ruined my life in a way I always wanted someone to." He looked down at his hands as he continued, not wanting to see the constantly emotionless face of Castiel. "I always thought that if there was someone in my life that was going to be in it forever they were going to alter it in such a strong way that I wouldn't be able to forget them. No matter what." He shook his head as he continued to play, "Sure I always thought it'd be a girl. Someone I could settle down with and have kids with but you came in like a storm Cas, like a fucking hurricane. You blew all the walls down around me like some kind of celestial force and I was left dumbfounded by you."

Dean took a pause from talking to play a little more, allowing the melody to turn sad and sweet. "And I just want you to know that I don't regret it, not one bit." Looking over at the pale, broken form of Castiel in front of him he sighed and allowed himself to get lost in Castiel's favorite musician, his mother's favorite singer. "It's funny..." He started, remembering this, "That two of the most important people in my life loved Janis Joplin... and both are fucking unreachable. How funny is that?"

Castiel didn't reply and instead continued to lay there in a coma, his face stone straight with sleep and cloudless dreams. Yeah, it was funny in a sick sort of way.

* * *

It was almost eight when Dean realized he wasn't alone with Castiel. Sometime during playing freaking Janis Joplin for the twentieth time in a row because he couldn't stop himself, someone had decided to come in and lean against the wall behind Dean. Dean had no idea the person was there, not until a soft and innocent voice broke his concentration.

"Castiel always loved Janis Joplin." Dean almost jumped out of his skin, turning to see Anna, all bruised up and pale, just standing there.

"Did he really?" Obviously he did but Dean couldn't form anything else to say to her that would be considered a reasonable response.

Anna nodded and walked over to the other chair, petting Zepp gently as she passed the puppy. "Yes." She pulled the chair closer to Dean and sat down, grabbing her legs and holding them close to her chest. Placing her chin on the tops of her knees Anna looked over at her broken younger brother. "My mother loved Janis, actually met her and talked to her." She smiled softly to herself, "They got along rather well from what I remember." She shook her head and sighed, "But whenever my father was away my mother would always blast Janis Joplin and Kris Kristofferson. She said it was whisky and honey, the two of them." She frowned to herself, "Castiel used to listen to Kris a lot but he ended up fucking up his voice because Kris' was so deep. After puberty his voice was just permanently rough. Gabriel used to tease him about it... I always told him it was probably a great way to pick up guys."

Dean snorted at that, chancing a look over at Castiel before back at Anna, "Where is Gabriel anyway?"

Anna frowned slightly at that, "He went home with Pamela. Probably to get drunk. I stayed... I can't leave Cas, not when it's all my fault."

Dean was already shaking his head at that, "No Anna, it's not your fault."

Anna's red rimmed eyes turned towards Dean now, her multicolored eyes a swirl of emotion. "No? And who's fault is it?" When Dean's face fell Anna actually became aggressive. "Oh no, no, no." She pointed at Dean now, showing some of the same frightening anger that Castiel could pull. "Dean Winchester, don't you dare think this is your fault!"

Dean didn't reply and this seemed to get Anna more pissed than before. "Dean! I talk to Castiel constantly, and if i don't he still sends me three page emails about his life. He told me your plan. How one of you would go in the morning to check on me and the other in the afternoon. Castiel just got the afternoon this time! How were you supposed to know?" Her voice was becoming almost desperate. "If Castiel knew that you were blaming yourself I think he'd beat the shit out of you, even in his broken state." When Dean didn't reply to this Anna continued, staring him down now, making it impossible for Dean to look away. "Dean, I'm serious. This isn't your fault, no matter what you think. No matter what Gabriel says..."

Dean's eyes widened at that and Anna seemed to realize that he hadn't known she had heard Gabriel. "You have to understand something about our family Dean... We're dysfunctional. Gabriel always had the tendency to get really mad whenever he wasn't able to protect one of us and he'll blame it on anyone he can. I was always the carefree girl, and Castiel.... Cassie was always the adult." She shook her head and turned to look at Castiel, reaching over and placing a hand on his blanket covered leg. "Sure he got to act like a kid sometimes, but he was always the one to set the facts straight, to punish those who were actually responsible for the damage, whatever it was. He was our moral compass and mom's little angel." She shook her head and smiled softly, remembering happier times. "So believe me Dean, if Cassie found out you were blaming yourself I think he'd have a shit fit."

Silence filled the room, the slow 'beep beep' the only thing that kept it from ear ringing silence as the two fell into their separate thoughts. So, Dean wasn't the only one that had a connection to Janis Joplin via a mother... Castiel did too. For some odd reason that hit home for Dean as he looked over to the bed. He could see the gentle rise and fall of Castiel's chest as he breathed in and out. Castiel had hidden so much of his life from Dean that it felt like he was cheating some great system by talking to Anna about it.

"The doctors say he'll be woken up in two weeks." Anna finally stated, looking over her younger brother. "We have two weeks of not talking to him."

Dean sighed turning to Anna and giving her a less than excited look, "Awesome."

* * *

At 8:30 Layla walked back in with a smile on her face. "Dean," She started, going over to where they hid the laundry cart. "I think it's time you bring your dog home." Dean nodded at this and stood up.

"Come on Zepp. Time to go home." Dean didn't want to leave Cas, and Zepp sure as hell didn't want to leave Cas, but after giving her a look she slowly stood up and jumped off of the bed, landing with a little clatter of paws on tile.

Helping Zepp back into the cart they turned it upright and covered her in the blankets. Dean turned to Anna at this point and cleared his throat so she'd look over at him, "Yes Dean?"

"How you getting home?"

Anna frowned at that and shrugged; "Probably take the metro." This wasn't a good enough answer for Dean, partially because he knew it wouldn't be a good enough of a reason for Cas.

"I'll take you home." Anna opened her mouth to retaliate but Dean raised a hand to silence her. "No Anna, I'm doing it." Anna seemed to understand this wasn't only for her safety but for Dean's sanity because she closed her mouth and nodded. Dean, taking this as a 'go', started towards the exit with Layla and Zepp; calling over his shoulder towards her, "I'll be right back."

With that the two starting down the creepily empty hallway towards the exit the silence that was between Dean and Layla didn't last long. Aparently Layla wasn't one for the quiet apparently. "So that was Castiel's sister?" Dean nodded at this, watching as Zepp rustled the blankets she was covered in. "She seems very troubled."

Dean snorted at that and shook his head, "That's a gentle way of putting it."

Layla, finding this interesting paused at the door to the exit to help Dean get Zepp out. As she helped she continued to ask questions, "So I'm assuming she has had a rough life?"

That Dean actually didn't know, he didn't know how long Anna had been abused by Alastair, he didn't know if there were others. Shit, he barely knew anything about Castiel's favorite sibling. What a friend he was. "I'm not actually sure." Dean admitted as Zepp came over to him and licked his hand before starting towards the Impala.

Letting her into the backseat he walked back to the door, Layla holding it open for him. Dean thanked her and they started towards Castiel's room once more. As they made their way it was time for Dean to ask Layla a question. "Layla, I want to leave my guitar here. Would it be safe?" Layla turned towards Dean and frowned before shaking her head.

"In the room? I'm not sure. But I can keep it behind the nurses' station and no one will touch it there."

"Would you do that?" It was odd to have a complete stranger help him out on something like this. Sure, it mattered to Dean and maybe mattered to Castiel but to any outsider it would just be an inconvenience.

Apparently Layla didn't mind whatsoever. "That's why I suggested it, I'm the head nurse of this floor so no one would question it." Dean smiled at that, the small things seemed to be coming together at least.

"Thank you Layla."

"It's not a problem, you just sing to your boy."

By this time they had reached Castiel's room and Layla was waving towards Dean as she made her way back to the nurses' station, "Remember, visiting hours end at nine!"

"Alright! Thanks again Layla."

The head nurse turned around and gave him a small wink before nodding, "Anytime sweetie." With that Layla left. Entering Castiel's room Dean guessed that some people in this world were actually angels even if they only played small parts.

Anna looked up at Dean and gave him a small broken smile, something that looked so fragile and gentle that Dean could see how Castiel was the 'adult' of the group. Anna looked like a hurt puppy or a five year old the majority of the time and Gabriel was either carefree or being a cocky asshole; there was never a time that Dean actually saw them act any other way.

It was obvious now, that Dean and Castiel had been 'those kids' in school, the secret outcasts that fought anyone that tried to hurt their family. Those kids that got their noses punched in and their eyes blackened because someone in the family had to. Someone had to stand up to the more fortunate; to show how just because they were the outcasts didn't mean they didn't have the right to try.

Sitting down with a little grunt Dean turned to look over at Castiel, his eyes going soft. He didn't care if Anna saw him like this, showing his emotions so blatantly. Dean was about to leave Castiel, and sure it'd only be for a couple hours, sure he'd be back over the next day as soon as he could but for the first time in weeks, Dean was going home alone. He wasn't going to wake up to a fresh pot of coffee and a sweaty, messy Castiel. There wasn't going to be any Castiel to tell Dean that they should get to bed, he wasn't going to tell Dean the traffic report like he often did. Dean was going to have to wake up to a cold and lonely apartment and Dean freaking hated it.

They stayed for another fifteen minutes before a security guard came by and reminded them they'd have to leave by nine. Dean looked at Anna and she nodded, having some of Castiel's power of understanding. She stood up and started towards Castiel. Dean knowing that privacy was important, grabbed his guitar and brought it over to the nurses' station to give her time.

Layla was sitting there, checking some clipboards when Dean came over. Looking up she smiled and placed the clipboards down before holding out a hand to take the guitar. "Give her here." She chirped happily before carefully taking a hold of it and placing it in a cupboard. "It'll be here tomorrow." She smiled, returning back to her seat. Teepeeing her fingers in front of her she gave him another smile, "And so will I. Good night Dean."

Dean gave her the best fake smile he could muster before backing away, "Thank you again Layla. Good night." Walking back towards Castiel's room Dean noticed that Anna was already standing out of the room, looking rather shifty, like she hated staying in one place.

"Dean!" She called, walking over. "I'm going to go over by the Impala alright?"

Dean knew exactly what this was, Dean had given Anna her own privacy with Castiel and now she was returning the favor. Dean would have to thank her later but for now he just nodded, "Alright, just don't scratch up my baby."

Anna snorted at that, shaking her head. "If there was anything Castiel was clear about on you it was not to insult or maim your 'Baby'." Walking towards the exit she called over her shoulder, "Take your time!" And then she scampered down the hall.

Knowing that it was time to actually say goodbye to Cas Dean seemed to slow down on actually entering the room. When he did, he distracted himself by placing his songs binder into one of the dressers next to Castiel's bed.

Now that he was this close to Cas Dean couldn't help but sit next to the man, leaning over slightly to talk to him like he was just going to wake him up. Of course that wasn't going to happen, but Dean could still hope.

"Hey man." He started after several attempts to clear his throat, his voice releasing the emotions he had bottled up for a good portion of the day. "I have to go home now, they're kicking me out." He chuckled, shaking his head. "I'll try and see if my FBI status gets me a pass to sleep here. I hate leaving you here alone." He grabbed onto the side of the mattress, his knuckles turning white. Shit, he didn't want to leave. "This bed is shit too. You're going to have like bed sores or some shit when you wake up and man you'll be pissed."

Dean stared down at the silent man, still sleeping and unresponsive. "Cas..." he breathed out, reaching out with his other hand and ruffling the man's hair. "Fuck, I- you know?... It's probably ridiculous that I've become so... codependent on you and I get it if you want to leave after you wake up, me being a shit friend and all but just... just let me talk to you once more. Okay?"

With that he grabbed onto the back of Castiel's head and gently leaned forward, resting his lips against his forehead before pulling away; "I'll see you tomorrow Cas." Standing up and stuffing his hands in his pockets and looked over his best friend, his partner and roommate once more before leaving the hospital.

* * *

Driving Anna back to Jesse's was almost twenty minutes long, it wasn't the traffic but halfway through getting there they had to pull over so Anna could puke. Aparently she didn't take emotional stress well; which was probably why she was so thin. When she had gotten into the car again Dean had handed her a stick of gum and pulled her across the seat into a tight one-armed hug, holding her like he did once with Becky when she had gone through a horrible break up. He cooed her and coddled her as Anna randomly blurted things out like 'Years Dean! Years!' and stuff that sounded like 'Castiel hates me.' And stuff like that.

It was the 'Castiel hates me' bit that caused Dean to pull away and look her straight in the face. "What was that Anna?"

Anna rubbed the already ruined makeup off with the flat of her palm before sniffling and looking up at Dean. "Cassie, when he wakes up he's going to be so mad. He's going to hate me."

Dean's emotions seemed to take another rough roller coaster dive because he started to get mad. Calming himself he looked Anna in the eyes, "Look at me Anna. Look." She did. "You and your brother... you guys are a lot like me and my little brother Sammy. You guys fight and argue and raise hell for each other more than not but you still love each other. Don't ever, _ever_ say Cas hates you because that I know for a sure-fire fact it's bullshit. He will never hate you. No matter how much mud and blood you drag him through. It's just not gonna happen."

With that Dean pulled away and back onto the road, the car filled with sniffles and little sighs from Anna calming down. The rest of the drive was pretty silent, until they pulled in front of Jesse's. Anna opened her door and looked over at Dean, "You coming in?"

Dean looked over at Jesse's and shook his head, it wouldn't be right to go there without Cas. No way in hell. "Nah, I'll pass."

Anna seemed to understand this because she gave him a little nod before hugging him with one arm and kissing his cheek gently. "I'll see you tomorrow than." She said with a soft pat on his cheek before climbing out of the car and walking into Jesse's. The moment the door closed behind her Dean took off, rolling onto Massachusetts Ave at average driving speeds.

Once on the road, by himself, Dean was left to think. He should be hungry, he really should but he was numb. It was odd to not have Castiel in the car, to not have the smoke whipping around his face. To not have Cas messing around with Dean's cassette tapes as they talked. It was all just too surreal to not be able to turn to face a laser beam expression and a soft smile. Dean kind of understood Anna's reaction of throwing up, because Dean was pretty nauseous at the moment.

However, being the stubborn man he was, he didn't. No instead, he went and made the nearest right to any convenience store. Finding the closest one he pulled into the parking lot and left Zepp in the car. There wasn't a doubt in his mind the moment he stepped into the fluorescent-light room and made his way to the back of the store. Picking up a bottle of his best friend, Jack, he turned around and started towards the counter, picking up his other long time friend, Marlboro Man. Two of the Marlboro Man actually, reds and 100s, just like Cas liked them. Not that he was sentimental or- oh fuck it he was, he was sentimental and he was already lonely and he missed the smell that meant home; home and Cas.

Walking out to the car he ignored the looks people were giving him, the homeless man, the teen girls who should probably be home studying, and adults who probably just got off of work and were too lazy to actually make dinner. He ignored them all and slid into the driver's seat of the impala. Fuck he hadn't smoked in years, good thing it was like riding a bike. Reaching over to the glove compartment he pulled out the lighter. That lighter. It was weird holding the thing; it actually felt different. He had offered it so much to Castiel that it wasn't just the lighter that kept his parents together but also kept Cas with him.

Placing the lighter on his knee he packed the unopened cigarettes in an almost daze. He only packed it four times, just like Cas and he pulled out the farthest two cigarettes to the left, like he did when he was a teenager. Picking out the lucky cigarette of the two he flipped it before sticking it back in; placing the other between his lips. Shit he forgot how it felt to even have a cigarette on this lips let alone how it'd feel when he finally had the strength to lite it. He started up his baby, making his way back onto Massachusetts Ave as he rolled down his window, letting the cool night air in.

He didn't light the cigarette until he was caught at a red light. He was within a mile of home at this point and he pulled the infamous lighter top back, revealing the wheel and wick. Striking it easily with his thumb he watched the warm flame lick at the wick before bringing it to the end of his cigarette and taking a drag.

Snapping the case top shut; successfully killing the fire, he took off as soon as the light hit green allowing the smoke to trail behind him and swirling around the car like it usually did. Pain hit Dean's gut as soon as he turned into a parking spot; getting out of the car with only Zepp. It was weird not to have Cas popping out as well and making a comment about how close the car was to the apartment like he always did. It was weird as they neared the apartment not to see Castiel shedding his jacket ahead of time, like always and moving his cigarettes into his pant pocket and not his jacket pocket. Dean realized that he might as well walk Zepp since there was no way in hell he'd leave his apartment until he had work.

So taking to the streets, cigarette in one hand and Zepp in the other he walked the average block, allowing his mind to travel once more.The worst thing about letting your mind travel was that it was doomed to go to the most comforting place; and for Dean that happened to be Castiel. It was a horrible idea, because it wasn't complete. It was Castiel's hands when he would play mindlessly with a pen, his eyes staring at a computer screen. It was how blue his eyes looked on sunny days in the impala while they were speeding around, beating bad guys. It was how warm his back felt against the palm of Castiel's hand whenever they touched. It was Castiel, it was all Cas but nothing came in completely, like when Dean would remember a favorite movie. He'd remember his favorite scene and then while rewatching it he'd find another favorite scene and soon enough he just couldn't make up his mind. That was Cas; Cas was Dean's favorite movie through and through.

Finally finishing the cigarette once halfway through the walk he sighed, already missing the smell but sucking it up; because he didn't need to be that pathetic. They eventually got back to the apartment and the first thing Dean did; the very first thing, was to slip his shoes off and curl onto the couch, ignoring the world in choice of falling asleep to the very place Cas had slept the night before.

* * *

Dean, as normal, dreamed that night. While this was a recurring dream, Dean never once had Castiel been involved. Not until now. It normally  started out where it always did, at Dean's old house in Kansas; the house where his mom died.

It was, of course, November 2nd, 1983 as this dream dictated every time. Dean would be in his plaid pajamas and he'd kiss Sammy's baby forehead and he's leave to go to his bedroom where his mom would tuck him in. She'd kiss his head and that she'd be up for a little while in the office if he needed anything.

Dean would say "I won't have any nightmares mommy!" And Mary would smile and nod at him before kissing his head again for good measure. "Well just in case, remember that I love you." She'd ruffle his hair lovingly and go to the door, as normal. She'd turn to him when she reached the archway, flipping off the light before humming "And that angels are always watching over you" and than she'd leave. Dean would lie in bed for a little while, per normal of this dream, trying to remember something that was scratching at the inside of his brain just trying to get out.

It would be exactly 9:23 when Dean would remember and as dreams often do, the moment he remembered he changed, he changed from his little three and a half foot figure into his current one, still in plaid pajamas and he'd jump out of his bed.

He'd run to his bedroom door and force the thing open, as it was always a triall to do so. Once the door was open he'd run downstairs, jumping the remaining stairs to the bottom where he would always grab onto the banister. He'd make his way past his sleeping father and make his way right into his mother's office, throwing the doors open just in time to witness the kill shot. Or at least, that's how the dream would normally end. With Dean screaming at the top of his lungs as he watched the blood splatter on the wall; just like he did when he was a kid.

But this wasn't how this dream ended, no, instead of his mother's office the french doors opened into the fluorescent lights of the hospital room that Castiel was in. And there was Cas, laying there as still as a stone. Dean, unsure of how to react, did what he did best and continued on; walking towards Castiel's bed. The closer and closer he got the more off he felt. There was something wrong.

Once he was close enough he leaned over the bed and frowned, something was off with Castiel that Dean couldn't place right away. It only took a second however for Dean to realize that the difference wasn't Castiel himself but what was going into him. Castiel was on life support. There was ten times the machines now, and he had a breathing tube inserted into his throat.

Dean's heart stopped, no. Looking around, as if that'd help or give him answers he turned to see Gabriel standing out in the hall, Anna on his arm bawling her eyes out in grief. The doctor, with her curly brown hair and heart shaped face handed over a clipboard to Gabriel that he signed, whatever it was. She took it from him and gave him the cheeriest smile Dean had ever seen. The doctor, Dr. Masters, passed Dean as if she hadn't seen him.

As she whisked by Dean turned in time to see what exactly the papers were; papers to terminate life support. "NO!" Screamed Dean, reaching out for Dr. Masters, but fell through her. "Don't touch him!" He moved over to Castiel's side, reaching out to him and touching his shoulder, something solid under his fingers unlike Dr. Masters. "Cas!" He yelled, "Castiel!" Nothing happened at first, not until Dr. Masters walked over to the life support button and she watched his heart monitor go from a mountain side to a plain. She started to write something on the clipboard but Dean's attention was brought somewhere else.

Towards Castiel, who was sitting up, oddly without any of the wires or tubes out of his body. He ruffled his own hair and let out a nice yawn, "What is it Dean?"

Dean looked at Cas, drinking in those blue eyes before turning back to Dr. Masters and then back again. "You just... you just.." It wasn't normal, Cas had just flat lined.

"I just died?" Castiel finished in almost a bored tone, as if they were discussing the weather.

"Yes! But I'm talking to you! So you can't be."

Cas was already shaking his head, removing himself off the bed and directing Dean's attention towards him. "Dean, I'm dead." Castiel motioned towards the bed, where the tube ridden Castiel still lay, his body progressively loosing color abnormally fast. "Than how am I....?" Dean turned towards Castiel and frowned but Castiel was smiling at him.

"Because Dean, you wanted to talk to me one more time before I left. I'm hear to listen."

* * *

Dean woke up screaming, as soon as he realized he wasn't in the dream anymore he jumped up, completely ignoring the fact that it was three in the morning, and started to get ready. There was no way he'd get back to bed now. Dean started the coffee and took a shower as he waited for the coffee. Once that was done Dean started to get ready for work, dressing in his suit and the like before feeding Zepp and taking her out for a walk.

Once he was back home he realized he had about two and a half hours to kill so he did something he didn't dare to yesterday and checked his phone. He had over twenty text messages and about eighteen calls. Sighing he checked his texts, the majority of them were from Becky and Charlie both sending about six each, another couple were from Sam and Bobby and then there was one from Benny. He read them all but choose to ignore answering any of them and instead went to his voicemail, having three of those. The first one was from Becky:

"Dean Winchester you answer your phone right now! I am worried sick about you and what's going on? Is Cas okay? What happened to him? You left so fast... Dean just please tell me what's going on. I'm worried about the both of you."

The second one was from Sam and was obviously the longest of them all:

"Hey Dean uh... Jess just called me, I'm out in Columbus right now but Bobby called her to tell her that you rushed out of the office saying that Castiel was in the hospital? Is he okay? What happened? Dean, I know he means a lot to you and I know how you freak out whenever someone gets hurt and I'm worried about you and Castiel but seriously man; call me. Don't be a jerk, I care about the guy too. Call me back."

The last one was surprisingly not from Charlie or Bobby but actually from a rather concerned Benny.

"Dean. I heard from Gabriel about Castiel. Brother, I'm sorry. I'll be driving up from Louisiana as soon as I can. Can't let ya go this one alone. I know ya never let me down and I ain't gonna let you down either."

Of course, out of the three calls, Benny seemed to be the most informed and the farthest away. Damn sometimes that guy was too good. Deleting the voice mails he texted everyone back with a:

May 14, 2013, 3:56 AM

Cas is in the hospital in  
an induced coma. I'll be   
going to work but spending  
my free hours there.

Figuring that was good enough Dean went into his bedroom and started to pack a bag. There was no way he was going to leave work, go back home and then go to the hospital. He should just cut out the middleman and that was exactly what Dean planned on doing. Grabbing a pair of jeans, a Def Leppard t-shirt and some comfortable boots (boots are comfortable, shut up) Dean made his way to the front door with Zepp, leaving for work with two hours to kill. Dean took the stairs for the first time in forever, making sure that his phone was turned up all the way the entire time; not wanting to miss anything because while last night was understandable, any day, Gabriel or Anna or even freaking Samandriel could call about Cas and there was no way he was missing that.

Finally making his way to the exit he got a text from Sammy, but Dean didn't bother checking it until he got into his car with Zepp and was ready to go. Placing another cigarette in his mouth and lighting it with the zippo he unlocked his phone and the text message.

May 14, 2013, 4:14 AM

Dean, how'd you sleep?  
I'm so sorry about Cas   
I really am. I'll probably stop  
by later and see him. What  
time are you going there?

Deciding to not be a dick of a brother, despite how shitty he felt, Dean took another drag, letting his body relax at the intake of nicotine before typing up his message.

May 14, 2013, 4:15 AM

Look Sammy, I'm going   
right now to see if I can be   
let in just to check on him,  
ok? But I'll be there right  
after work.

Dean stuffed his phone into his pocket then and turned off onto Porter Street NW towards the hospital. It was quiet for a good five minutes before Dean realized that no, Cas wasn't going to speak up like he normally did in the mornings, because he wasn't there. Realizing this Dean's stomach dropped and the silence quickly became unbearable. Grabbing any tape that was close enough Dean threw on Def Leppard's Retro Active album and seemed to relax once again.

It worked for awhile until getting to the fourth track; an acoustic version of the song 'Two Steps Behind'. It was almost like Dean shut down, auto piloting his way to the hospital as his eyes just glazed over. There was something so... Ironic about the song and Dean couldn't really tell what; not yet.

He made it to the hospital two songs after that and walked in easily enough, no one daring to bother someone as professional looking as Dean. He made his way down the hall to the very room he was looking for. Hitching his bag of clothing over his shoulder he thought about a good place to stash it, and deciding that it'd be good enough to place it under the bed he concentrating on his path.

Layla Rourke wasn't on duty anymore but whomever was head nurse must be doing her rounds because Dean was able to sneak past the nurses station and into Castiel's room with no problem. He looked the same as he did the night before only with the bruises actually fully formed; a raging red with a purple pigment to it. Dean allowed himself an intake of breath at that point; shaking his head in shock. Cas might be cleaned up, he might be on the mend, he might be sleeping but he still looked unhealthy and Dean hated it.

"Good morning Cas." Dean lowered his voice so not to attract any nurses' attention over to them.While making sure he was to the left of the bed so that he was easily hidden from the doorway on the right. Stuffing the bag underneath the clunky bed Dean rested his chin on top of the bed railing and sighed softly, trying to chase the stress away. It didn't work.

"So," he started, looking away from Castiel's face to instead stare at the medical blankets. "If I was to be honest with you, I'd say that I half expected you to be gone when I got here." He admitted peeking up at Castiel's face once again to see if he was paying attention, it was kinda pointless so Dean just continued; "not because I want you to or anything I just had a really fucked up dream and you... Yeah well... Yeah..." There was no way to explain this without having to explain everything, "So all you need to know Cas is that I need you to get better, alright?"

* * *

Dean left the hospital forty minutes later when a nurse was doing her rounds and looked in; Dean was able to hide from her but he couldn't risk it anymore. Giving Cas a soft "goodbye" and pressing his forehead against the other man's Dean left with little incident.

When Dean walked back to Baby, Zepp was sleeping in the backseat but woke up instantly when Dean was within five feet. "Hey sweetheart." He greeted before crawling into the driver's seat and starting the car. Dean took a deep breath and rested his head against the steering wheel. He wasn't going to make it out of this alive; no way in hell.

Pulling out onto Irving Street Dean retrieved another cigarette and lit the thing, taking a deep drag as he merged with North Capitol. Zepp, bless her soul, slept the whole way to work, letting him blast some more Def Leppard.

* * *

Dean knew the very moment that his tape went to the final song that it was going to be a long day. He just knew it, there was no way around it; however he ignored the tune, aggressively hitting the eject button and opted to get out of the car; letting Zepp out soon after.

They climbed the stairs easily, but they still took a reasonable amount of time, Zepp understanding that this wasn't normal for Dean. It wasn't normal to not have Cas next to his side rattling off cases they'd have to take care of and what reports to finish. Dean also knew he'd be put on lockdown again; if Cas wasn't there to watch his back the FBI wouldn't send him on actually dangerous missions. So Dean would be stuck at his desk until Castiel was either back in commission or they got him a new partner. A new partner... that Dean would flat out refuse; there was no way he was going to replace Cas.

However Dean didn't need to worry about this theory as it appeared that the whole floor was worried about Cas. It was almost ridiculous, Dean didn't think Cas really interacted with anyone else in work but apparently he did and a lot.

Out of the long list of people that would stop Dean and talk to him about Castiel it was Becky that got to him first. Dean had seriously just closed the door to the staircase when the blonde haired, 5'4" woman was all in his business. "Dean!" She called, wrapping her arms around him tightly; whoever said women couldn't squeeze the life out of another human was a downright liar.

Dean's arms wrapped reflexively around her and pulled her closer. "Morning to you too Becky." Zepp, being the saint she is, sat there next to Dean allowing Becky her time instead of begging for attention.

Becky moved her face up so her chin rested on Dean's chest. "How are you?" Dean didn't even need to reply with words, he just gave her a look and she understood. "Yeah it was a stupid question Dean; I'm sorry." She wriggled her way out of his arms before reaching up and placing her small hands on his broad shoulders. "Okay, just explain everything, okay?"

Dean spent ten minutes explaining what happened to Cas the best he could, controlling himself not to give away too much emotion but Becky knew; she always knew. When Dean forgot himself for a second and admitted he snuck into the hospital that morning Becky's face fell even more and showed extreme signs of pity towards Dean. Dean didn't take pity well, he never had so he excused himself at that point, making a beeline for his office.

However, as Dean's life was never simple, he was cut off by Bobby. Bobby was looking a little bit more shit serious than normal so Dean didn't plow past him like he normally would in this kind of mood.

"Can I help you?" Dean shot, not ready for a talk with his superior. Bobby raised his caterpillar eyebrows at that and shook his head, walking over to Dean's office and opening the door for them, signalling that this was going to be a private and personal conversation. Great.

Dean had no other option but to follow his adopted father into his and Castiel's office. He stayed silent when the man closed the door behind him and Zepp. When the door was closed Dean blindly pointed to one of the extra seats in the middle of the room. Being ever the soldier Dean sat down with a little huff and watched as Bobby walked over to the adjacent chair; pulling it over so it was facing Dean before he sat down with a little old man groan.

"Agent Winchester-" Started Bobby, "Dean." He corrected himself, his grey-blue eyes connecting with Dean's.

"Yeah Bobby?" Dean stated as emotionless as he could, his eyes wanting to break away from the sadness in Bobby's but unable to. Bobby sighed, as if he hadn't thought that Dean would be this easy to talk to. It was incredibly awkward for Dean in this position, both he and Bobby were those people that never explained their feelings and kind of just dealt with them silently. But it was obvious that this was so important to Bobby that he spoke up and that kind of frightened Dean.

It seemed as though Bobby finally figured out how to go about this conversation as he opened his mouth and staring Dean in the eyes with the most serious expression Dean's seen in awhile. "Ya know how much I love Karen right?"

Dean blinked, he wasn't expecting that. "Yeah of course."

Bobby nodded at that and looked down at the wedding band he still wore, nearly two decades after Karen's death. "Remember how we had to go to the hospital a lot for her?"

Oh shit. Dean nodded, not daring to say anything but instead allowing Bobby to continue. "And ya remember how I'd drop you and Sammy off back at home by five so you guys could have dinner and do your homework?" Dean nodded again, silent. "Well, I went back to the hospital every night." Dean had a feeling where this was going but the shock was evident on his face. Dean remembered those days, when Dean and Sam would worry about Bobby's emotional health and Karen's physical one. Bobby cleared his throat and looked around the room as he continued. "She had a love for Humphrey Bogart so when I went back there we'd always watch his movies until she fell asleep." He smiled to himself and shook his head, "She'd always fall asleep with a smile on her face and damn she looked so happy despite being that sick."

Bobby cleared his throat and after rotating his ring a couple times to catch the light, he looked up at Dean. "So Dean, I understand why you go there after work. I really do and trust me I understand how much it sucks to not have them part of your daily routine. How you get so used to their presence that you accidently call their name out to ask them a question and they're not there to answer." Dean really was wondering how far the drop out the window was to get away from this conversation.

"I know what it's like to love someone so much that-" Dean must have made a face because Bobby glared, "Boy don't even try to deny it." he added before continuing, "that you'd rather sit there and watch them in pain than be alone and safe." Bobby seemed to wait a beat before clearing his throat and continuing. "But I'm not going to let you go there. Not during work hours."

"What? Why?!" He didn't mean to sound so aggressive but he knew he sounded it, much more than he intended. Luckily Bobby was used to Dean and it didn't phase him.

Instead Bobby leaned forward so that he was in Dean's face, making sure he understood what he was trying to get across. "Because Dean, there is a difference between worrying and making yourself physically sick." Dean opened his mouth to retaliate but Bobby gave him a look and continued, "Save it boy. I basically raised you, I know how you get. You worry and blame yourself for everything and with Agent Novak I know you'd take it another step farther. I can't watch you self destruct like that; I know when he wakes up he'd be pissed if ya did."

Dean couldn't argue with that, but he tried. "Bobby I'm-"

"Dean, it's final. If I catch word of you leaving early or going out for more than an hour there will be consequences." With that Bobby left. As soon as the office door closed behind the older man Dean turned to Zepp, sighing loudly as he did so.

"Tough love huh?" Zepp tilted her head in an exact replica to Castiel's head tilt. A shot of pain went through Dean at that and he stood up, walking towards the window and opening it up before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his pack. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Over the course of the day, from seven am to five pm, Dean's office was filled with random agents. There was Jo (who spent a good hour just talking about life and Castiel), Jo's husband Victor Henriksen, Becky came in again, Gwen Campbell who was rather sympathetic about the whole thing, and even Caleb Blacker who worked with Dean's dad back in the day despite being only ten years older than Dean.

The worse part of the entire day however wasn't the constant people in his room, no, it was the fact that he couldn't get a song out of his head. You'd think when your partner and the guy you happen to kind of be in love with is in the hospital you wouldn't have a song stuck in your head. But here it was, the acoustic song repeating over and over in Dean's head, reverberating all around his cranium; _'Walk away if you want to, It's okay if you need to...'_ It was like Dean's own personal hell, hearing this song on repeat as person after person walked through the door asking about Castiel. It was sickening, it made him miss the easy silence he had with his partner.

Needless to say, the moment the clock hit five Dean and Zepp hightailed it out of there, buzzing past everyone's cubicles before any of them could stop them. They pretty much took the stairs not by steps but by landings. Dean did not want to deal with pity and Zepp was totally not liking Dean's attitude towards sympathy and pity. So they pretty much made it to Baby in under five minutes.

It only took a couple minutes and a few turns before they were on the main drag on their way to the hospital. Dean had originally planned in switching cassettes but it appeared his subconscious had other plans because without even meaning to he flipped the cassette and started it from half way through 'Desert Song'. It was at least peaceful in the beginning of the drive, Zepp in the back seat resting her head against the door, feeling the air from Dean's open window as he lit another cigarette. It felt awkward without Cas but Dean did his best to ignore the tightness in his chest when his mind traveled to that area.

He couldn't control his thoughts the moment that the fourth track kicked in with it's slow acoustic chords.

 _Walk away if you want to_   
_It's okay if you need to_

Memories of his nightmare came flooding in, his mother and Cas both leaving in a matter of seconds. He knew Cas wasn't going to leave so abruptly as he did in his dream, matter of fact he wasn't going to leave at all; not according to his medical records. That didn't change the fact that Dean's foot pressed a little harder on the gas.

Zepp and Dean managed to make it to the hospital before 5:20 and they both piled out of the car. Unlike yesterday Dean just walked in with Zepp, avoiding any human contact. It didn't take long till he got to Castiel's room but when he did he stopped short; the room already filled with two bodies.

"Sam? Jess?"

Sam and Jessica Winchester both looked up towards Dean. Sam seemed to relax upon seeing Dean and stood up from his seat next to Castiel. "Dean-" whatever he was about to say was lost in the wind the moment that Jessica came from Dean's right, wrapping her arms around his waist; pulling him into a bone-crusher hug.

"Oph! Hey to you too Jess." Dean greeted, wrapping his arms around her shoulders to pull her closer.

"I was wondering when you'd get here." She remarked, pulling away after an adequate amount of time to look at him.

Sam snorted, shoving his hands into his suit pants, "I actually expected him here in another ten minutes. Someone was speeding."

Dean ignored the concerned bitchface Sam sent in his direction and opted to look at Castiel, who was as motionless as the night before. Well shit, he knew he wouldn't have changed in 24 hours but a small part of him hoped he'd kind of just hop up.

Dean could see Sam's big Sasquatch brain forming some kind of comment about Dean's behavior so Dean knew he needed to think fast; "When did you guys even get here?"

Sam immediately concentrated on this fact and looked at the clock; "Well it's 5:30.. My case ended at ten and Jess had court at eleven... We had lunch, so about one."

Dean's jaw dropped at that, "You've been here for four and a half hours?"

Sam shrugged at that and nodded, "Yeah well he's part of the family."

"What have you been doing?" Dean still couldn't believe it that Jess and Sam had been there for that long.

However Jess smiled and actually giggled. "We've been telling him stories."

"Stories?"

Jess nodded while Sam looked rather sheepish; this so wasn't good. "Yep!" Jess said, looking at Sam as if he was going to take the blame, which he probably was.

Dean crossed his arms and stared down Sam before growling out; "What kind of stories?"

Sam cleared his throat and shuffled slightly, "Ah just some stupid shit from when we were kids..."

Dean knew Sam was avoiding something. "Like...?"

Sam looked over at Cas and then back at Dean trying not to look guilty, "Like when you took me to study hall, or your football games... and some other stuff..."

"Sammy!" Dean called, glaring at his brother now. "What else?"

Sam sighed loudly at this, deciding to give up on hiding whatever he told Cas. "And how you watched all the disney movies and used to sing the songs around the house and how you'd start reciting poetry in the shower when you thought no one was home or listening."

"Samantha Winchester!" Dean called, advancing towards Sam to only have Jess get between them and press her hands on his chest; effectively stopping him.

"Dean! I also told him how Sammy ate a whole cake on his eighth birthday and got sick all over his new books!"

That calmed Dean down from his embarrassment. "Well, that was a fun day wasn't it Sammy?" Sam frowned at that but didn't reply so Dean counted it as a win. Realizing that he was still in his suit Dean grabbed his bag he had hidden under the bed.

"I'm going to go change. I'll be back." He started towards the door but Sammy stopped him with one simple question. "When did you put that there?"

"This morning."

Sam's eyebrows raised into his ridiculously long hair, "You were here this morning?"

"Yep." Dean saw Sam opening his mouth to reply to that but he didn't need to hear it so he booked it down the hallway to the bathroom. Changing out of his suit and packing it away as neatly as possible he headed back to the room.

As he passed the nurses' station Layla was there and called Dean's attention towards her. "Dean!"

He turned around and smiled slightly, walking over to her as he hitched his bag over his shoulder more. "Hey Layla."

"Good to see you." She stood, holding a clipboard in his hands as she did so, "Would you like your guitar today?"

Dean had actually forgotten about the instrument, his mind focused on Castiel and how Sam had totally blabbed on some of Dean's more embarrassing moments. "Yeah sure."

Layla nodded at this and made her way over to the cabinet before grabbing the guitar carefully. She walked back over to Dean and handed him the guitar before they collectively started towards Castiel's room. As they walked closer Layla spoke up, "I work from five to two in the morning, just so you know."

When Dean looked over at Layla, a confused expression on his face, Layla sighed and clarified. "Just incase you want to hide out here."

Oh. Dean smiled and nodded, "Thank you Layla."

"Anytime."

* * *

The time went by uneventfully, Layla checked Castiel's vitals and reprimanded Jess, Sam and Dean for having more than two people in the room but didn't tell them to leave. Instead she walked away saying that she'd check up on them later. It was about seven when Sam's black hole of a stomach started to growl.

Jess, being the loving wife, took one look at her husband and stood up, "Right." She started, shrugging on her jacket. "I think it's time we go and get Sam here filled up on rabbit food."

Dean really did love Jessica, she was just sassy enough to fit perfectly into the Winchester family mold. Sam however, found his wife's sass less than needed but gave her a kind smile anyway as he slipped on his jacket and turned towards Dean. "You want anything to eat Dean?"

Thinking of food, as much as he liked it, made him sick. "Nah, I'm good." As always Jess gave Dean a concerned look along with Sam before inquiring if Dean had any lunch.

"I ah..." He cleared his throat and nodded, "Yeah two burgers, they were awesome." Dean really hoped that covered up. It didn't and Dean could read that fact all over Sam's face so he quickly added, "Now Jess stop procrastinating and get Sammy his rabbit food before he Hulks out into Samantha."

Sam's bitch face was totally worth it and Jess nodded. "Will do Dean." She walked over to him and planted a kiss on his cheek before giving him a gentle hug. "We'll see you around okay?"

Dean agreed to this and said goodbye to Sam and soon enough the strangely lively hospital room died down to just the beating of the heart monitor and Dean's breathing.

"Hey Cas." Dean started, pulling a chair close to Cas, ignoring the indignant look he received from Zepp at getting into her personal space on the floor. Giving Zepp a look back he walked over to the end of the bed where he placed his guitar and brought it back to the chair, sitting down and resting the it against his leg before speaking up again. "So, sorry I didn't say hi to you before. It just felt weird you know? Around Jess and Sam I mean." He cringed at his statement, realizing how much of a dick he sounded, "Okay well it's weird with others here because I feel like I can't talk to you like I normally do. Like..." He started to strum uselessly against the guitar as he searched his brains for the proper words. "Like when we're in the car or when we're watching something mindless on tv. Not that anything I ever show you is mindless."

The chords of the guitar filled the room as Dean continued to play, his mindless chord playing starting to sound a lot like a song Dean had been running away from all day. Well shit.

"That dream I mentioned this morning," Dean brought up, starting to strum with more confidence as he knew the chords by heart. "You told me that you were leaving, that you were dead but you were going to let me talk to you once more and well..." He pulled up in a sort of pained smile, trying to cover up his discomfort. "This song keeps popping up today and I just... I think it explains everything pretty well. So I'm going to play it alright?"

Dean waited a beat, trying to read Castiel's face with no actual changes before cleared his throat and stopped the chords. "Alright." He muttered to himself before picking up the notes once more; this time intending to play the song all the way through.

Walk away if you want to   
It's okay if you need to   
Well you can run but you can never hide   
From the shadow that's creeping up beside you   
There's a magic running through your soul   
But you can't have it all

 _Whatever you do - I'll be two steps behind you_   
_Wherever you go - and I'll be there to remind you_   
_That it only takes a minute of your precious time_   
_To turn around, I'll be two steps behind_

Dean suddenly understood exactly why this song keep showing up, not just because he felt like this with Castiel but because this was Dean's personality. It was his personality to follow someone to the end of the world, death or worse to make sure that whomever he was chasing got out alive. That they didn't fail even if it meant he'd fall. He didn't care so long as that person made it out alive.

This was Castiel for Dean, Dean knew full well that it was better he didn't go with Castiel to Jesse's that day because he knew for a fact that Castiel would still be in a coma and Dean would probably be off much worse. However, Dean also knew that while this was the better option, Dean healthy and Cas on the mend, he still wish he did go. That he was there to take the beating for Cas because Castiel didn't deserve this. Not one bit.

 _There's a magic running through your soul_   
_But you, you can't have it all_

 _Whatever you do - I'll be two steps behind you_   
_Wherever you go - and I'll be there to remind you_   
_That it only takes a minute of your precious time_   
_To turn around, I'll be two steps behind_

 _Yeah baby, two steps behind_   
_Oh sugar, two steps behind_

Dean ended the song, letting the last chord reverberate through the white walled room as he let the song's true meaning sink in. It was like that for awhile, silent as Dean thought about what just happened. How Def Leppard had made a song twenty years ago and it was relevant to his life at this point. It was kind of ridiculous if he thought too much on it and when he did, he realized how grateful he was that Castiel was sleeping this entire time and he had no idea what was going on...right?

Dean convinced himself right then and there that Castiel was sleeping, that despite what medical professionals might say, Cas wasn't listening and therefore Dean could speak his mind without having to worry about Cas waking up and judging him.

Dean let out a sigh and the very moment he did the room relaxed, became comfortable in a way that Dean didn't think was possible. He looked over at the bed and smiled slightly, "I think that I'm going to go and find your favorite songs and learn them while you're here. So when you get back I'll have them all memorized." He shrugged to himself, slumping in his chair to watch the slow rise and fall of Castiel's chest. "Because I know for a fact that even when you wake up you'll still be pretty immovable." Dean nodded to himself at that time,allowing himself to just sit there and relax in the odd comfort the room now held.

* * *

Dean left the hospital with Zepp at around ten that night, Layla coming in at that time to tell him that since Zepp was there he'd have to leave. The janitor was coming in that day and he'd notice the dog. Dean made it home before 10:30 and fed and walked Zepp, and was in bed before eleven. He couldn't fall asleep however, his mind was racing with what Castiel's favorite songs were exactly. For the life of him he couldn't figure it out and it bothered him. He lived with the man, he should know this. Of course Cas loved Janis Joplin but which song was his favorite?

Maybe Dean was too tired, or too emotionally mixed up to really think on it because he ended up pulling out his phone to text Charlie.

May 14, 2013, 11:01 PM

Charlie, I need help figuring  
out what Castiel's favorite  
songs are. Could you help  
me out some?

 

May 14, 2013, 11:09 PM

Well Dean, I would love  
to but right now I'm having a   
very important discussion with  
Becky about something so  
I'll give you a list in the morning.  
CB <3

 

May 14, 2013, 11:10 PM

Discussion on what?

 

May 14, 2013, 11:11 PM

On if you're Han Solo  
or if Castiel is. ;D I think   
you're more of a Han Solo  
than Cassie. Becky says  
Cas is way more Han Solo.   
CB <3

 

May 14, 2013, 11:11 PM

Dude! I want to be Han Solo!  
Why would Cas be Han?

 

May 14, 2013, 11:12 PM

Becky says it's because  
Castiel always acts so   
cold to you but you keep   
coming back....  
CB <3

 

May 14, 2013, 11:14 PM

First of all Charlie, tell   
Becky this. That's exactly  
what Han does, not Leia,  
Han is the one that keeps   
trying with Leia while Leia   
is the one that pushes him   
away. So tell Becky she's   
wrong... also, are you guys   
writing a fanfiction about   
us? I don't trust you and   
Becky together.

 

May 14, 2013, 11:15 PM

You shouldn't ;D  
Good night Dean. I'll send   
you a list tomorrow.  
CB <3

 

May 14, 2013, 11:15 PM

Charlie you didn't answer  
my question!

 

Charlie didn't reply to that, opting to probably argue with Becky some more. This actually really worried Dean, like really worried him. Becky and Charlie were good people but... together with Dean and Castiel as their main source of entertainment? They were so screwed.

Rolling over Dean sighed into his pillow, grabbing an extra pillow and shoving it between his legs as if to help mimic that of another person. Not that Dean would ever do that. No, never.

* * *

There were no dreams that night; just blackness and the welcomed embrace of day when Dean's alarm clock reminded him that it was six in the morning. Dean was pretty sure he didn't have time to go to the hospital, which was kind of good because when he checked his phone he had a message from Charlie.

May 15, 2013, 1:20 AM

Ok, I figured out the some  
of Castiel's favorite songs:  
Iron & Wine - 'Hangs like Heaven'  
Mumford & Sons - 'Black White   
Page' and 'Little Lion Man'  
Janis Joplin - 'Little Girl Blue'  
The Beatles - 'Black Bird'  
That's all I have have for now.   
Sorry Dean, I'll text you once   
I remember more; see you later  
today :D   
CB <3

* * *

Dean spent the next week learning those songs on the guitar. He printed them out during work and put them into his song binder in Castiel's room. Everyday he'd come over from work with Zepp and a fresh bag of clothing and he'd meet the new visitor of the day. It always changed, always. One day it was Becky, another Charlie, sometimes Sam and Jess, Gabriel, Anna and Pamela almost every day, once or twice Bobby stopped by, hell even freaking Ash came over once.

What Dean wasn't expecting from this consistent group of people was there continous looks of sadness when Dean practiced the songs next to Cas, never really explaining why he was doing so.

Once when Sam asked Dean why the green eyed agent had shrugged and grumbled out a "I need to learn new songs man". Charlie knew however and apparently she later told the whole group Dean's reasoning because they all stopped asking by Saturday when Dean had driven out there at eleven in the morning and stayed until Layla left at one.

Gabriel apparently had decided that he had been a dick to Dean because he would always throw Dean understanding looks whenever he started to practice 'Little Girl Blue'. Dean ignored the sympathy and looks; opting to just stay on task. Dean didn't need an apology and thank god he didn't get one; because he knew it was all true. It was harsh but accurate and Dean had needed to hear it. Those were the straight up facts.

The visits from everyone calmed down the next week, they didn't stay that long, some didn't even bother. Dean knew that it wasn't because they hated Castiel (Charlie was with Gilda and Becky at some reasonably small book convention with a guy named Carver Edlund up near Cleveland). It was just that they had lives, they had other things to do that would push their lives forward while Dean's was laying in an induced coma. Same old same old; the life of Dean Winchester for sure.

With the visits slowing down Dean honestly didn't expect anyone new to show up; he really didn't. So imagine his surprise on Thursday when, around eight, a rather grumpy looking Benny showed up, shoving his black sailor hat into his inside jacket pocket as he did so.

"Benny?" Dean called, standing up and placing the guitar down to walk over to his long lost brother. They did their customary brother hug before patting each other on the shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

Dean had actually forgotten about Benny's promise via voicemail from a week ago. Benny  shook his head once in disbelief, giving Dean one of those 'really' looks he did so well. "Brother, I told ya I'd be coming up as soon as I could." He shrugged his coat off at that, placing it on the free chair and giving the guitar filled one an odd look before looking back at Dean. "My new boss, Garth, he's a little intense with the work load." Dean snorted at this but held his comments back till Benny was finished; "I mean it. I was in New Mexico not 30 hours ago and I jumped into my car as soon as I got home." He shook his head at that, plopping himself into his chair and looking over at Castiel for a beat before turning back to Dean.

Dean, realizing it felt uncomfortable be standing in a group of people sitting (/laying down), took his seat back and placed the guitar over his lap. After a few awkward seconds of silence it was Benny who spoke up, watching both Castiel and Dean before resting his eyes on Dean. "How you holding up brother?" Dean actually laughed at that, not one of his real ones but one that would remind any sane person of someone who's holding onto one small shred of hope.

Dean plucked at the guitar uselessly and looked up at Benny, "You really don't want to know."

"I'm sure I do."

* * *

Dean spent the rest of the night explaining what exactly was going on. With Benny Dean could talk, he didn't make fun of Dean's emotions like Dean feared Sam would, he wasn't emotionally compromised like Bobby, he didn't have the same 'fangirl' thoughts as Charlie or Becky, he didn't judge Dean like Gabriel would. No, Benny just listened and nodded at things; understanding where Dean was coming from.

Dean had so much faith in Benny that he actually told him about the songs, how he was learning them because they were Castiel's favorite songs. How when Castiel was awake he seemed to relax whenever Dean played so he figured it'd help Cas with the whole healing process. Saying it outloud sounded stupid but Benny totally stood behind him on his decision, stating that if someone did that for him while he was in a coma he'd enjoy his time much more. It helped Dean.

It was about ten when Layla came in and said it was best for them to pack up and leave, as security would be making their rounds soon. Dean agreed with this and him and Benny packed up, Dean handing the guitar to Layla as he always did before leaving.

Calling Zepp from her place beside Castiel's bed all three of them left with a goodbye to Layla and Cas; making their way towards the parking lot.

Talk was pretty much nonexistent until they got to Dean's impala and Benny's truck. That was when Dean lit a cigarette after letting Zepp investigate the yard for a moment. "Picking up on his habits?" Benny asked, cutting through Dean's concentration.

Dean's head moved from Zepp to Benny and he shrugged, taking another drag. "I used to, a couple years back. It's just... there's a certain level of stress I can take and this pretty much was the icing on the cake."

Benny nodded to that and stuffing his hands into his pant pockets he leaned against the hood of his truck. "I get that." He grumbled out, watching Dean with concerned eyes. "Dean?"

"Yeah Benny?"

Benny seemed to shuffle side to side, "I ain't got nothing to do tomorrow, so I think I'll be staying here till you get off of work. Ya mind?" It was funny, out of the near half dozen people that gave Dean the 'you poor significant other' look Benny was the only one to ask permission; but then again, Dean didn't own Castiel, he wasn't even his boyfriend. It was still ironic though.

"Nah Benny, I don't mind."

"Good." Benny nodded, looking over at Zepp and then back at Dean before continuing; "I better get going; haven't had anything to eat lately except one of them nasty fast food burgers."

God bless Benny for breaking tension like no one's business. Dean smiled to himself and nodded, "Alright. You get some sleep Benny, I'll see you tomorrow."

Benny nodded, swinging himself into the driver's seat before calling over. "Good night Dean."

As Benny pulled out of the parking lot he raised a hand in goodbye towards the Impala. Dean returned the gesture before stomping out his cigarette and calling Zepp into the car. Pulling himself into the welcoming leather seats of Baby he turned her on, listening to the purr before putting in a tape he never expected to listen to again. Taking a deep breath Dean started back onto the road, allowing the music to fill his ears for the first time in over 20 years.

 _Hey Jude, don't make it bad_   
_Take a sad song and make it better_   
_Remember to let her into your heart_   
_Then you can start to make it better_

 _Hey Jude, don't be afraid_   
_You were made to go out and get her_   
_The minute you let her under your skin_   
_Then you begin to make it better_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I don't want anyone thinking that Anna has some kind of eating disorder it's just supposed to show how much Cas means to her and how... skittish she can be XD I hope that helped/cleared it up... if there was any confusion to begin with >.>
> 
> As for the overabundance of songs/lyrics in this chapter... I'm sorry D; I can feel that it clogs it up a bit but honestly listening to the particular song when it's lyrics show up might help ;A; I know that's what I was doing when I actually wrote it XD and plus I think because Dean's just so.... /classic rock/ it kinda had to happen, to show his development. But guys if it really annoys you tell me XD I might try to cut some of the next ones out if I can (or just make it smaller)
> 
> I'm just gonna do a little adfsdgfsfb vcdsffgrbf about how much I love Benny ;A; ok that was a public announcement, continue on~
> 
> (hopefully I'll get the next chapter up tomorrow but we'll see how that goes XD)


	9. Painfully Legal

Friday was as average as it normally was for Dean lately. He'd wake up and do his normal routine, feed and walk Zepp, shower, pack his Casual clothing for the hospital, the normal. He'd jump into his car and go to the office with Zepp after that, deal with the constant sorry looks and unspoken words before hiding away in his office and not coming out until he left for the hospital.

Today was different.

It was about one when Dean looked up from his computer to the sound of Creedence Clearwater Revival's Born On The Bayou.

_Now when I was just a little boy standin' to my Daddy's knee_   
_My Poppa said son don't let the man get you do what he done to me_   
_'cause he'll get you 'cause he'll get you now now._

Knowing he set that as Benny's ring tone due to his Southern roots, Dean reached over and answered the call, placing the object to his ear. "Hey Benny; whats up?"

There was some low talking in the background but Dean wasn't able to make out who it was since Benny picked that very moment to let out a low chuckle. "Dean, I think you want to get here."

Dean's heart jump started ten fold. "Where are you?"

Benny actually freaking snickered, _snickered._  "The hospital, don't worry this is good but I think you should take the rest of the day off." Dean was already half way down the stairs with Zepp hot on his heals. Making their towards the parking lot by 'this is good'; completely ignoring Bobby calling after him to ask him what's going on.

"Benny what-" Dean started, ripping the door to the parking lot open and jogging towards his Baby. Benny however, cut Dean off, "Look I got to go, Anna and crew just got here. See you in fifteen." With that he hung up and Dean was left with only anticipation.

Dean quickly texted Bobby a 'I'm going to the hospital, won't be back today' before screeching out of the parking lot and beelining it for the hospital.

* * *

It took Dean around sixteen minutes to get to the hospital, the traffic was reasonable but it didn't stop Dean from having to slow down and actually obey the law. Unlike other times to the hospital Dean didn't even put on any music, he only smoked non-stop, finishing four before pulling into the hospital parking lot.

Rounding the corner with Baby he parked in his average spot, noticing Benny's truck and Gabriel's white '69 Firebird 400 (Dean could see the 'Eat and Drink at Jesse's' sticker so it had to be Gabriel's). Dean didn't waste any time and started towards the entrance with Zepp jogging next to him; her body language giving Dean the impression that whatever was going on inside was good.

However, as they neared the room and Zepp's pace picked up so did Dean's heart. No matter what Benny told him, no matter what Zepp's attitude was, no matter the significance of the cars, Dean wouldn't trust any of it until he saw what he was hoping.

Dean was about two rooms away when he saw Layla walking over to Castiel's room a smile plastered onto her face, it widening when she saw Dean and his pup. "Dean!" She called, waving him over.

There was a chorus of 'Dean?'s from Castiel's room and Pamela poked her head around the door molding before calling into the room, "Agent Dean Winchester has now arrived guys!" If Dean needed a reason to full on run to the room it was the low and rather husky "Dean?" that followed that.

Skidding to a halt and having Zepp bump into him Dean made it within a foot of the hospital room; realizing it might not be the best to run into a room like a mad man even if Cas was awake. Because there was no way in hell that was anyone else's voice. No one else's voice sounded so sweet and welcoming even when it was hoarse from disuse.

Taking a deep breath Dean tried to calm himself before making the turn into the room; facing five sets of eyes. Dean bypassed the shades of hazel, the deep browns and light blues in favor for Castiel. He was sitting up straight, a small smile playing on his beaten face but his eyes were what gave Dean the infamous tunnel vision.

After not seeing Castiel for eleven days Dean had almost forgotten the true color his eyes held; how they reminded Dean of the color of lakes at twilight, how they shimmered with actual life and weren't covered by the protective casing of eyelids, placing him in a perpetual sleep.

Dean had no idea how long they stared at each other; they hadn't in what felt like forever, but it was Benny's low chuckle that attracted Dean's attention somewhere else. Looking over at Benny he noticed that everyone's eyes were on both agents and he suddenly got self conscious.

Feeling his neck warm up he cleared his throat and shoved his hands into his jean pockets. "How you feeling Cas?" His voice was rough enough to show that he was controlling his emotions but no one said anything; thank god.

Castiel's lips tilted up, giving him an all knowing smile. "I am sore and groggy but I am up. Which is nice."

Dean chuckled, allowing himself to nod slightly at that. "Yeah I bet..."

Castiel licked his lips as if he was about to say something but Gabriel, the ass that he was, spoke first. "Deano! You should go get changed. The suit makes me feel like you're about to sue me." Typical Gabriel.

"Maybe I will." Growled Dean, staring down Gabriel in a challenging way; his eyes no where near the softness they had been for Cas.

Gabriel actually seemed taken aback for a second before returning to his cocky smirk. "Well now, now Deano someone is rather vicious for getting their-"

Whatever Gabriel was about to say was cut off by Castiel; "Gabriel stop being a dick."

The whole room turned towards Castiel, who was sitting there, glaring at Gabriel. For once in his annoying existence Gabriel looked truly flabbergasted, so did Anna as she stared at Castiel with new appreciation. Castiel apparently didn't like the attention since he started to shift uncomfortably and distracted himself by looking at Zepp, who was still patiently waiting to receive Castiel's attention.

Looking over at Dean, Cas gave him a sheepish look, "Can you help her up here?" Dean didn't even give it a second thought as he grabbed a chair and pulled it over to the bed, allowing Zepp to jump up and give Cas the proper greeting he deserved. She almost jumped on top of him as soon as she was on the bed, accidently stepping on his chest and causing Cas to make a face in pain. This face resulted in Zepp giving Castiel even more love, licking his face to death as her tail went a mile a minute. If Zepp was this happy in the summer Dean would never have to pay for air conditioning, he'd have to look into making that possible.  

While Castiel gave the dog some well needed love Dean was able to survey the room; taking in the people around him. Anna was sitting on the right of Cas, leaning her head on the railing and watching him with soft, sad eyes; trying to cover it up with a small smile that wasn't reaching her eyes at all. Benny sat in another chair, resting his feet on the crap particle board table; watching the whole scene but seeming to keep looking from Cas to Dean and back again like he was measuring something. Gabriel and Pamela however, were reasonably close to the door, sharing looks with each other and talking in low tones that Dean wouldn't have even noticed if Pamela didn't look so freaking mad.

Oh shit, they were fighting.

Didn't Cas once say that when they fought they usually ended up throwing shit at each other? Dean started to look around for all throwable objects, a plastic vase with fake flowers, several actual glass vases with legitimate flowers, a hardwired phone, the standardized Bible and... Dean's eyes froze, he had gotten close enough to a full circle that he was looking towards Castiel, and he was directly facing none other than his song binder.

Son of a bitch.

Standing up Dean walked over to the bed, reaching over Castiel to grab the binder, noticing that there was some writing in it. However, the moment that Castiel realized what Dean was doing he reached over and slammed the book close.

Dean didn't need to reply in words anymore, Cas was back, so instead he opted for giving Castiel a reasonable bitch face and reaching for the book once again. Which, in response, Castiel than pushed off the table and into the dresser drawer; almost slamming the thing close.

When Dean gave him a look this time Castiel spoke up, "Not right now, I'm not done reading."

Well if that wasn't a shit excuse... "Dude, they're all well known songs. You totally know the lyrics."

"I said I'm not done Dean." Well call Dean a denied prom date. Leaning away from Cas, Dean rocked back on his heels, shoving his hands in his pockets as he did so. "Alright, alright." He growled before jerking his head towards the hospital door. "I'm going to go get changed really quick." Cas watched Dean's face before giving him a small nod, as if to tell Dean it was okay to leave. That it was okay to leave Cas because Cas would still be there and would still be awake when he returned.

Accepting this as a reasonable response Dean left the room. But just because Dean left the room that didn't mean that Dean left the jumble of emotions behind; no sir, not at all. Making his way down the hallway Dean allowed himself to think and breathe. It seemed like one weight was lifted off his chest and another one was placed down in it's place; the only thing was this one was about a thousand pounds heavier.

It was awesome that Cas was awake, like really awesome, but now that he was Dean knew he had a promise to keep. A promise that Gabriel would be expecting Dean not to cop out on and actually tell Castiel about his feels. This was Dean's real problem; because Dean was actually in love with Cas. There was no way around it. He was. And because of this fact if Castiel was to deny him, if Cas was to admit that he harbored different feelings for Dean, that he wasn't interested, Dean would be crushed. Not some puppy love kind of crushed where he'd get over it in a month but seriously crippled and possibly for the rest of his life. He'd deal with it, of course, he dealt with all his emotions. He'd find someone, someone of reasonable quality with possibly the same colored eyes and same facial structure but... it wouldn't be the same.

Dean opened the Impala and grabbed his duffle bag, bringing it into the hospital as he always did, this time just thinking.

It wouldn't be the same, not ever. Because no one had the same gummy smile; because no one would tilt their head the same way like Cas, because no one would sing Janis Joplin in the shower or deal with Dean's childish antics on four twenty. Dean walked into the men's bathroom and changed as fast as he could.Once he finished he headed back to the Impala, dropping off the duffle bag.

Instead of heading back into the hospital like he always did after changing Dean reached inside his car and grabbed the half finished pack he had lying in the middle of the front seat. Dean didn't really bring the pack around in his pocket like Cas did, he wasn't really addicted. No, Dean was a stress smoker and right now; he was stressing.

Removing the zippo lighter from his pocket he lit his cigarette and took a drag, stuffing the lighter back into his pocket. Dean might not always keep his pack on him but he for sure always had the lighter. It was almost a symbolic thing now, passed from John to Mary, to John just like it was passed to Dean than to Cas and finally back to Dean. It was a vague and optimistic hope that one day Dean would finally be able to hand it back to Cas one last time, as a final promise. But that, that was a hope that Dean dared not to dream of.

* * *

It was a good ten minutes before Dean entered the hospital and was in the vicinity of Castiel's room. It was odd, maybe Dean was hanging out a little too much with Zepp or something, because he could feel the mood of the surrounding area change as he drew closer to Castiel's room. Turning into the room he found out exactly why.

Castiel, of all people, seemed irrationally pissed. He was sitting up at an exact 90° degree angle (which was probably not all that good of an idea, but then again neither was looking murderous). His face was flushed and Dean was pretty sure that Castiel's rage was also mixed with embarrassment. The next thing he noticed was the loud beeping from the heart monitor and Layla rushing in.

"Sweetie!" She said, making her way past the large group of people and towards Castiel. "What's wrong?"

Whatever was wrong with Cas wasn't medical, that was obvious. But still, he didn't give any reason, instead he was just glaring at Gabriel like he had just told Cas- son of a bitch. Dean's head whipped around towards Gabriel, who was looking rather shell shocked while Pamela gave him a disapproving look that wasn't all that disapproving. Huh.

Dean wanted to ask, he really did but at the exact moment that he decided this Layla, for the first time, commanded something from them. "Everyone but Dean needs to leave." When no one made a move Layla turned her eyes onto each and every one of them, "Now!" It was like watching a group of startled mice, everyone stood up and started to leave. Anna, quickly giving Cas a kiss on the head before darting out of the door, Benny signaling Dean 'goodbye' with a nod of his head towards Cas while Gabriel and Pamela just flat out left, raising their hands in unison to say goodbye.

And just like that, a room of seven people was cut down to three. It was like there was enough room to finally breathe and that was nice. It apparently helped Castiel to because his heart rate went down readily as he started to take calming breaths.

"I'm sorry, I normally don't get that excited over things..." He was mumbling to himself and possibly to Layla.

Layla, being Layla, was just using soothing tones, "Don't worry Castiel. It probably has something to do with your medication right now. Nothing to work yourself up about."

As she talked she started to help Castiel lean back down, causing him to grunt a little in pain, immediately alerting Dean to Castiel's injures. Now that it was only them, Dean was able to get closer to Cas, no problem at all. He gently nudged Layla out of the way and helped Cas the rest of the way down. Holding him in the places on his back that he knew weren't damaged, Dean gently guided Cas down

And just like that, the old moments that Dean and Cas had, when they would simply place a hand on each other and relax, came back. Dean looked directly into Castiel's eyes as he helped him lower himself more comfortably, and Cas stared right back. There wasn't a moment of hesitation, like grabbing onto something familiar and holding tight.

It must have been uncomfortable for Layla because she cleared her throat until the two men looked away from each other to look at her. She smiled brightly though, as if she had to say something that might be of use to them. "Dean, would you like me to get your guitar?"

Oh. Well shit.

Dean's eyes flashed from Layla to Cas and back to Layla. Cas didn't seem to be phased by it, matter of fact he seemed to perk up a little at the notation. So if Dean wanted to do anything in his power to make Cas happy, he was going to do so. "Yeah sure, thanks Layla."

Layla smiled and nodded before dashing out of the room, either happy to get the guitar or to get away from them. Maybe a little bit of both, but Dean suspected the latter more. Turning to face Cas he moved his chair on the left closer to Castiel's bed, sitting carefully before looking over at the man. He knew he shouldn't bring up Castiel's receding anger but he was just so damn curious. "So Cas," He began, watching as the spotlight blue eyes turned onto him, "Mind telling me what that was back there?" He didn't need to actually elaborate on that, Cas understood perfectly and seemed to tense. Cas licked his cracked lips and looked away, opting for petting Zepp.

Just when Dean thought he'd either have to let it go or restate his question Cas cleared his throat, "Gabriel said something... it was rather inconsiderate and crass." Dean snorted and shook his head, "Yeah that sounds a lot like Gabriel." Cas smiled softly at that, picking at the blanket fibers next to Zepp's large paws.

"It was..."

Pushing his luck Dean turned more towards Castiel and rested his elbow on his knee. "What was it any rate?"

Shifting slightly in discomfort Cas looked pretty much anywhere but Dean, "He was saying rather insensitive things about your character." He finally pushed out, refusing to meet Dean's eyes.

It wasn't anger that filled Dean, but actual dread. What if- "What'd he say?"

Cas snorted at that and shook his head, bringing his eyes up and towards his partner, "It's all irrelevant."

"Like hell it is Cas." If Dean was starting to silently panic about this than he'd keep that to himself.

"Dean." Castiel called, his voice softer than before, his eyes still locked with Dean's. "It is irrelevant." When Dean went to open his mouth and fight those words Castiel raised a hand to quiet him, "I am aware of who you are better than my brother. You are not anything that he has called you to date."

That hit home, because it reminded him of what Gabriel said eleven days ago, how Dean was nothing but a coward who could never tell Castiel his true feelings, not until he would be taken away. Opening his mouth to say something he was cut off by the entrance of Layla, holding his guitar with a soft smile on her face.

"Here you go Dean." She smiled, handing it over to him.

"Thanks Layla." He grumbled, sitting back in the chair and adjusting his legs to comfortably fit the guitar.

Layla just shook her head and smiled, "It's not a problem Dean. The whole floor loves it when you play." She winked at him before giving Castiel a grade A smile and leaving the room once more.

"She is very kind," Mused Castiel, watching the door where Layla just left.

Dean nodded, making sure the chords were right. "Yeah she let me stay here as long as she was working."

Whoops.

Castiel looked over at Dean, a small almost knowing smile playing on his lips. "Is that so?" Instead of replying with words, which he seemed to be vomiting all over, he just nodded. For some odd reason this seemed to give Cas a rather smug look on his face; Dean was starting to trust Castiel's facial expressions less and less. He knew something. "What was the latest she ever let you stay?"

That bastard. "One." He muttered out before quickly covering his words with his own question. "What you want me to play?"

This seemed to take Cas back for a second before he shrugged; giving his suggestion. "Little Blue Girl."

Dean should have known, matter of fact his hands did as they already rested on the needed chords; or maybe that was just coincidence. Whatever it was, it that made it so easy for his fingers to skate over the chords and for his voice to hum out the lyrics.

_Sit there, hmm, count your fingers._   
_What else, what else is there to do?_   
_Oh and I know how you feel,_   
_I know you feel that you're through._   
_Oh wah wah ah sit there, hmm, count,_   
_Ah, count your little fingers,_   
_My unhappy oh little girl, little girl blue, yeah._

Dean didn't mean to make the song sound sadder than it was originally intended, but with the acoustic guitar and Dean's guttural tones it just formed that way. Despite the almost country sound to the song that Dean presented he still sang it well, or at least he believed so, judging by the small smile that graced Castiel's face as he sang.

There was a minute's pause between the song ending and someone speaking up and when the voice did; it was Castiel. "Thank you Dean." He murmured, opening his eyes to turn them on Dean. It was odd, having the focus on him once more but to say he didn't miss Castiel's pinpoint attention would be a lie and Dean wasn't going to lie to himself anymore.

"It's not a problem. I learned it when you were... ya know... unconscious." Dean didn't necessarily want to give away the fact that he texted Charlie about Castiel's favorite songs, or that he then proceeded to learn them all just so that he could play them to Cas while he was...hibernating.

Dean's plans to keep it all under wraps however didn't seem to play out that well as Castiel smiled and nodded, "I am aware."

"You're what?" Dean's voice totally didn't squeak. Nope. But if it did, hypothetically speaking, that would be an understandable reason for why Castiel's face broke out into that rare gummy smile that Dean missed.

Somehow, one thing lead to another and they were just sitting there grinning at each other like idiots. Dean was still dead set on finding out what Cas knew but Cas was having way too much fun evading the questions. So a simple questioning led to a fun little dance of wits, Dean trying to find the answer and Castiel teasing Dean with 'oh nothing's. Needless to say, Dean didn't find out what Cas was talking out.

It wasn't even five when Layla walked back in, clipboard in hand, assumedly to be checking Castiel's numbers and the like but probably just wanting to see what Dean and Castiel were like when one of them wasn't in a coma.

"Hey Layla..." Dean began, looking from Cas to the head nurse. "Where can I sign Cas out of here?" The smile that Layla always had, along with her sunshine attitude changed as she looked towards Dean. "Dean... Mr. Novak here can't leave for another week."

The mood in the room died, even Zepp, who had been lying around watching her two boys have fun, seemed to lose her spark at that.

"Why the hell not?" Dean asked incredulously; not accepting this answer.

Layla frowned, "it's very dangerous. Someone who's been in a coma, induced or not, should be watched for at least 24 hours."

Dean was weighing the options in his head; he could totally sneak Cas out once Layla wasn't looking. But Castiel seemed to like the rules more than Dean. "I understand."

Dean's eyes turned onto Cas with dead accuracy; glaring. "Dude, no man." _'There is no way I'm spending the night in that fucking apartment without you when you're awake.'_

Castiel returned Dean's glare but his was much more reserved and understanding. "It would be unpractical Dean. As I am not able to attend work and you would have to still attend-"

"Dude tomorrow is Saturday."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Layla seemed to understand there was some domestic dispute between the two because she sighed, rather loudly as if to drag their attention to the dramatics (it worked); "As a medical professional-" she stared Dean down more than Cas, as if trying to tell him something; which she probably was. "I do not advise taking a patient away from the hospital within 48 hours of waking up from an eleven day coma." Dean's face fell but she held up a finger, "However, this does not mean that it is impossible to have said patient removed into the care of a fully functioning adult after the first 24 hours, if this fully functioning adult was to complain to certain higher ups and professionally handle the action." Dean decided right then and there that he'd suggest the name 'Layla' to Sam if he and Jess ever had a daughter.

"You're amazing." Dean said in disbelief, Layla just replied to that comment with a "and very unprofessional."

* * *

Layla left soon after that, saying that now that Castiel was awake his doctor, Dr. Masters, would be showing up some time.  Both Dean and Cas thanked her and soon enough the room was empty. A silence began to build and after eleven days of silence from Cas, Dean didn't intend to let it last. He had so much to ask the other man it was ridiculous. What was it like it a coma? What happened with Alastair? Was he able to hear them while he was in a coma? Was he still in pain? Dean decided that the last question was the most reasonable one.

"Hey Cas?"

"Yes Dean?"

"How you feeling?"

Castiel snorted at that and shook his head, rustling under the covers to get more comfortable before placing his head down on the pillow. "Tired, even with all that sleep." He licks his lips as he stared at the ceiling, "and everything aches."

Dean couldn't help but allow a comment of "Man that sucks." to escape his lips as he watched Cas with concern in his eyes.

Castiel's head lolled to the side so that his eyes clashed with Dean's. "No Dean" he corrected, his eyes trained on Dean's green ones, "it's better than being unable to respond. To hear things you wish you could reply to but cannot. Nothing is worse than hearing everyone's lives move around you while yours is just black."

Dean would later wonder what Cas had heard, he would fret and worry later, but for now Castiel was the owner of Dean's attention.

"Well than I don't want you to complain about the pain." It was reflex to cover up any possible serious conversation with a joke, Dean couldn't help it and Cas seemed to know that.

"I'll do just that." Quipped Cas as a small smile spread across his face. He looked so sleepy and cuddly that Dean'a automatic reaction was to smile right back at him. There was the sound of violent heels coming down the hall and stopping outside of Castiel's room; causing both boys to turn and see who was approaching.

Son of a bitch.

Standing there was no other than the doctor in Dean's dream. Her hair was the same brown and equally curly. The thing that set Dean on edge about this doctor was her cold smile; the way her face looked like it once held love but it was removed from her forcibly and only contained true contempt wrapped in a sticky sweet lie. She turned her eyes from Castiel to Dean, looking down at a clipboard. "Who are you?"

Bitch.

"I'm Dean Novak."

Dean never expected Castiel's eyes to get that big, ever. The doctor, Dr. Masters if Dean remembered correctly, looked from Dean to Cas. Shaking her head she gave a little snarky smirk, as if she knew something they didn't.

The next ten minutes were just Dr. Meg Masters checking over Castiel (inappropriately, in Dean's opinion). As soon as she was done she gave them both a look before resting her deep brown eyes on Dean, "I'm assuming that you're the Dean Head nurse Layla told me about."

Dean's guard raised to the challenge and he leaned forward in his seat, "How you mean?"

Dr. Masters rolled her eyes and dropped her professional façade in favor to glare at Dean. "I think you know."

Actually, for this one, Dean had no idea what she was talking about. Castiel seemed to pick up on this, "Mind informing us to what you are referring to?"

The female rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip. "I wasn't talking to you Clarence."

Snarky bitch.

"Hey!" Dean warned, calling Dr. Masters' attention back towards him. "Leave him alone."

"Why did you call me Clarence?" Castiel was blatantly ignoring Dean's signs to not fraternize with the enemy (okay, enemy was a strong word but Dr. Masters killed Cas in Dean's dream, he was a little protective right now).

Dr. Masters seemed to be as good as Cas at completely ignoring Dean's warnings as she spoke up, "I googled your name, an angel? Really Clarence?"

"I still don't understand that reference."

"Cas." Dean groaned, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms defensively, "It's from a movie. There's an angel that needs to gain his wings." Dr. Masters nodded at that, smirking slightly, "Oh and your back was noticeable."

Dean's blood ran cold. What? Castiel's face paled and he straightened, moving too fast for his wounds. Dr. Masters noticed both their reactions and her smirk turned into a sneer, "Touchy subject, mhmm Clarence?" Judging from the shaking in Castiel's hands Dean knew this encounter needed to stop. "You can leave Dr. Masters."

"It's Meg."

"You can leave Meg."

Meg raised one eye arched eyebrow at that and cocked her head to the side, challenging Dean. "I am the doctor in the room. In a hospital." Her voice was so cavalier

Dean was considering punching a women. Luckily he kept his temper in check but not his mouth, "Yes and I am an FBI agent with more than a couple of friends. You checked up on your patient, you can do go your rounds, right _Meg?"_ He spit out her name with enough venom that Meg seemed to consider her options before sighing dramatically.

"All of the Novaks I've encountered are over protective douchebags." With that she started towards the room door, not bothering to look back as she called back, "See you Clarence."

With that she was gone and the chill in the room slowly started to dissipate. God damn, Dean wanted to ask about Castiel's back, he really did but that wasn't his business. However that didn't help control Dean's mind from running rampant. What exactly did his back have to do with angels? How did it even relate to Clarence from A Wonderful Life? Was it an angel? Dean snorted, imagining Castiel's god like body with a little cherub on his shoulder. Okay snickered as well, bringing Castiel's attention towards him. "Something funny, Dean?" His voice was still a little sour from Meg and that helped sober Dean up a little.

To quickly cover up his outburst Dean called Castiel's attention to something else, "So you're honestly telling me you've never watched It's a Wonderful Life?" Castiel's face went from straight controlled emotion to that of eye rolling and classic bitch face number five that Sam must have taught him when Dean wasn't looking.

"No I haven't Dean, in my family Christmas was a time of repentance and donations."

Dean's mouth pulled up into a disbelieving smile. "Oh come on Cas, it couldn't have been that bad." Dean regretted his statement the moment he said it and the blue spheres of death stared him down.

"Dean, your family was very different than mine. My Christmases, even with my mother, were intense. I was able to watch some movies, like How the Grinch Stole Christmas and other childish movies of that sort, but with her passing those movies were not allowed in my uncles house." He sighed and stared down at his hand as it lazily rubbed Zepp's paw for comfort. "With my uncle we were at church three times a day, for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the day after that. We were not allowed to receive presents there and we actually had to give our own belongings away to those less fortunate." He shrugged, "It might sound self centered but I had countless family members and not one gave another a gift. It was our wicked ways and personal actions that caused Jesus to die."

"Dude, Jesus died almost two thousand years ago. Your uncle needs to grow up. No way are you're that old." Cas snorted at this, seeming to relax a little at Dean's humor. At least he slightly helped. Pushing his luck Dean leaned back in his seat, watching Castiel. "But still, that kinda Christmas sucks. You have to have a Winchester Christmas, they're a lot of fun." Okay, so dean was unofficially asking Cas to be part of the family, for him to hang around long enough to survive the summer and fall to winter. Winter, which dean's mind automatically imagined warm bodies in a warm bed all cuddled together. It was not Dean's intention to hurt his own heart but he did it anyway; well shit. Thank god for Cas though, who looked down at Zepp and back to Dean, "Would I really be allowed?" His voice was soft and unsure but filled with something Dean had never heard in Castiel's voice.

Reacting to Castiel's vocal tone dean leaned forward so he was closer; "Yeah of course Cas, so long as you're ready to hold your liquor."

Cas broke out into laughter at that, having to hold his side to try and stop the pain he was causing on himself. "Agent Dean Winchester." Castiel mused as he leaned farther onto the bed, "I did miss interacting with you."

Dean smiled at that, his eyes crinkling slightly at the sides as he watched Castiel's chest heave with silent laughter. "I missed you too Cas."

* * *

Unlike all the other times Dean had to leave the hospital, this had to be the hardest to accept. Cas was now awake and talking and Dean didn't like the idea of missing something important. Layla explained that Dr. Masters would be actually coming to Castiel's room after visiting hours and if she saw Dean she'd report him. Layla also made a promise to Dean that she'd keep an eye on Dr. Meg Masters and that helped Dean a little with leaving. Layla told Dean that the guitar could stay in the room now as Cas was actually awake and able to remind people to leave it; with that little piece of information out in the air she said goodbye and took her leave. Now that it was just Dean and Cas it was even harder to leave, even though Castiel was already nodding off.

Standing up Dean walked over to Castiel, placing his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Get better Cas." Castiel hummed in agreement, not bothering to open his eyes. "I'll break you out tomorrow."

Castiel's tired face pulled into a lazy smile as he nodded again. "Alright Dean, I'll be waiting."

"I know."

Leaning down Dean swiped his lips against Castiel's forehead, a gentle reassurance that he was there and needed Cas to get better.

Whistling quickly for Zepp, she jumped off the bed and they started towards the exit. Sadly it wasn't without incident, Dean was halfway down the hall when Layla called his name and jogged after him. "Dean!" She called, stopping once she was next to him.

"Yeah Layla. What's up?"

Layla looked down at the rather subdued Zepp before staring up at Dean. "Dr. Masters asked me about Zepp." She paused to catch her breath before walking with Dean towards the exit. "I told her that Zepp was a service dog but she didn't believe me."

Dean frowned; that can't be good. "And?" He asked guiding her along to finish her story.

"And I don't think you can bring her into the hospital tomorrow. Not without paperwork. Dr. Masters is a little bit of a bitch when it comes to rules."

"A little bit?" Dean repeated, letting out an aggravated sigh and rubbed his face, "Alright, well, I'll make sure I get all that paperwork done soon."

Layla nodded and bit her lip, considering something. "You know, that paperwork might go a lot faster if you said you were having daily check ins with a nurse."

Dean's eyebrows raised, "Really now?" He smiled slightly, having a feeling of we're this conversation was going.

"Yes and I just happen to know someone that has nothing better to do that check up on one of their favorite patients."

"Do you really? And who would that be?"

They walked out into the night, heading towards the impala as they talked. "Me." She mused turning towards Dean as he opened the back door and allowed Zepp to hop into the back. Dean smiled ever so slightly at that as he closed the door and opened the front door, grabbing the cigarette pack he had placed there.

"You'd do that?" He asked bringing the small filtered cylinder to his lips. Nodding, Layla gave him a warm expression, wrapping her arms around her middle to keep herself warm in the spring air. "I'll just take less hours for a week or take a longer break, depending on how far away you live."

Dean took a drag and breathed the smoke out; turning away from Layla so not to be disrespectful. "I live in Tenleytown."

Layla's face dropped at that, "That's almost twenty minutes away."

Dean nodded and shrugged slightly, "Yeah, I figured it'd be difficult."

Layla shook her head at that, "It's not too far. I can take the metro and get their faster..." She watched Dean for a moment before asking a question; "Wait, did you drive here every day?" Dean took a drag to cover up his embarrassment which didn't help Layla because she just ended up grinning and actually giggling. "You did, didn't you?!" Well, it seemed like whatever virus Charlie, Becky and Anna had traveled to Layla because she giggled and jumped up and down. "You two are too cute!!"

Dean sighed as if that'd help downplay it, "Yeah I did."

Layla grinned at that and jumped up and down whether it was because she was cold or excited Dean didn't know. "How long have you guys been a thing?"

Welp, this was going to be awkward. "We're not together."

Layla's face turned to complete confusion. "But you guys live together?"

"Yes."

"And you drove here almost every morning before work?"

"Yeah... Wait how did you know about that?"

Layla smiled at that, placing a hand on her hip. "Dean, I do have friends." Dean's face went sheepish at that before he took another drag. Layla smiled and shook her head, "Did you actually think that the nurses were stupid enough not to notice you neaking in every morning?"

"Stupid is a strong word..."

Layla shook her head in amusement at that, "I know... But just keep in mind that you've got friends."

"Yes Layla."

* * *

Dean and Zepp got home around 9:30, Dean fed and walked Zepp before running around the house and cleaning up. With the constant time at the hospital Dean had kind of thrown everything around the apartment.

Putting on some tunes (which totally didn't happen to be Van Halen's Balance just for Can't Stop Lovin' You, nope) Dean started to clean up the clothing catastrophe. Once all the clothing was taken care of Dean started on the couch. Over the past eleven days the couch had sort have become his bed, the sheets had stopped smelling like Cas awhile ago but Dean just continued to act like it did.  

Setting it up with new sheets Dean realized that there was no way that a broken and beaten Castiel should sleep on a freakin' couch. So with that idea in mind Dean turned around and walked into his bedroom. Stripping the sheets off the bed, he formed them into a ball and threw it into the corner of the room. Taking a moment to just look over his room for anything completely inappropriate (like his Busty Asian Beauties collection or his hidden dilbo/vibrator/lube box) luckily all those objects were hidden well enough under his bed that a crippled Cas wouldn't go looking for it. Deciding that the other personal stuff didn't need to be hidden he kicked the blanket ball into the small alcove between the bedroom and living room. Grabbing his unclean clothing and the ball Dean made his way to the washers; throwing the fabrics into it with some detergent and fabric softener. Once the machines were started Dean was able to go over to the large lead door and prop it open before making it over to his car. Luckily for Dean, Baby was within eyeshot of the door so it didn't take him long to reach the car, unlock it and grab his cigarettes. Walking back he grabbed his lighter from his jean pocket, igniting the end and taking a drag. It had been a long day, work, Cas woke up, Gabriel was a dick, Cas was coming home tomorrow and Dean had no idea what to do.

Typical Winchester.

Finishing his cigarette and tossing the butt he made his way back into the building; closing the door behind himself as he did so. The clothing still had a little while to go before it was even remotely ready so Dean decided the best way to pass the time was to make the fifteen minute walk to the Safeway down on Davenport. Checking his pockets for his phone, wallet and keys he started on his way, pausing at his car to grab his headphones and plugging them into his phone. Okay, so he still listened to cassettes in his car but that didn't mean he was technologically challenged. Putting his phone on shuffle the walk to the grocery store was reasonably easy.

He had to do some shopping anyway, the apartment had run low on food while there was two very active men living there. Sure in the last week none of the food was touched (except for the coffee and the mac and cheese) but still, he had to start getting food for when Cas came back.

Cas. Shit.

Dean was about two blocks away when he pulled out his phone from his pocket and dialed a number he was becoming familiar with. After about three rings the other person picked up.

"Hey Dean, what's up?" Charlie's voice was slightly more fatigued than normal and Dean really hoped he didn't bother her.

"You busy Charlie?"

"Not really, what's up?"

Dean waited at the crosswalk as he continued to talk to her. "What's Castiel's favorite ice cream?" Charlie's gigglings filled Dean's receiver. "Well, well, I knew I'd be getting a call from you about Cas but I was sure it'd be about how to ask him out." Dean gaped but Charlie couldn't see his face so she continued. "But food works." There was some shuffling on the other line like Charlie was moving clothing or bed covers. Shit did he wake her up? It was almost ten... "Anyway I know he has a soft spot for Pumpkin Spice, Mint Chocolate Chip and Cookie Dough. I think Mint Chocolate Chip is his favorite though..."

Dean nodded, crossing the last street on his way to Safeway. "Thanks Charlie. It means a lot." Charlie snorted at that and her voice turned very teasing as she spoke up.

"Anytime Dean, now do you need help with anything else? Like his favorite bread, orange juice with pulp or no pulp? How to ask him on a date?"

Dean scoffed, "No thanks Charlie."

"He's a real romantic an-"

"Good bye Charlie!" Dean called into the phone, holding it away from his face before hanging up on her.

It might have been a little rude but really? Dean was a fully grown man, he could handle asking Castiel Novak out on a date. Right?

Upon entering the store Dean kicked himself, realizing that maybe he should have driven the distance as he actually planned on buying a large amount of supplies. But if he walked back to his car and drove back over the store would only be open for another thirty minutes and that wasn't enough time for Dean to search out everything. So he'd have to deal. All well.

Making his way over to the canned goods he picked up two cans of chicken stock and two cans of tomatoes. Dean knew exactly what he was getting, the recipes ingrained in his mind from when he was a child. The other ingredients were a little scattered, celery, bay leaves, parsley, and other things. Just the right ingredients for his dad's kitchen sink stew and his mother's tomato and rice soup. Yeah it was a lot of soup but they were the cure all for life, and it wasn't too hot for it yet so Cas would just have to deal.

When Dean stopped in the meats section to pick up some sausages for the stew he paused in front of the ground beef. It took about .5 seconds for Dean to decide what he was going to do this weekend. Grabbing a reasonable amount of ground beef he started around the store with more vigor, picking up onions, cheese and other elements for the three meals. Somehow he ended up with a shopping cart filled half way before he started towards the check out. Oh the way home was going to suck.

Having four full plastic bags Dean decided to buy two of those Ecobags which helped compress his carrying load. And that was good because he stopped by and picked up a six pack of beer at the liquor store; vaguely wondering if Cas would even be allowed to have any if he was on meds.

Well if he wasn't allowed to than Dean would just have it all or it'd sit around until Cas could drink; either or.

The moment Dean walked through the apartment door Zepp was all over the bags, investigating the smells of meat. "No girl, it's for Cas." And just like that, Zepp backed down, going over to the couch and nudged it with her nose. Yeah, she loved Cas, maybe the same amount as she loved Dean, hell, maybe even more. Dean didn't think on that subject too long, opting to instead put all the food away, take a shower and to start making some calls.

* * *

Dean went out to get his other pack of cigarettes at about one in the morning. He had spent all night playing phone tag with the head nurses and some doctors trying to get his hands on the paperwork he needed to take Cas. Of course he needed to be a blood or legal relative; neither of which he was. So the at 12:30 he just continued to call Gabriel on repeat until the bastard picked up. Gabriel had bitched, moaned and cursed at Dean every chance that he got but in the end he agreed to sign the slip to allow Castiel into Dean's care if he got to go to sleep; Dean let him.

So after that Dean started to fill out some more paperwork until the stress got to him. Reaching for his pack he realized that it was empty and that's how he ended up retrieving the second pack from the car. For the rest of the night, Dean would smoke half a pack and finish all the paperwork; not falling asleep until four in the morning.

* * *

Sadly for Dean, he woke up at a quarter to nine, his phone blasting 'Candyman' like no ones god damn business. As Dean reached for his phone on the end side table he decided that once Gabriel signed those papers he was going to kill him. Okay that might be a little harsh; maybe he'd just find out every embarrassing moment of his and write it into a book. Yeah, that'd work.

Finally getting a hold of his phone he swiped the answer button over and placed the phone to his ear; grumbling out a "hello?"

"Good morning Sunshine!" Gabriel chirped across the connection; seeming way too chipper for his own good. "Sleeping?"

"Yes."

"Gooood!" Gabriel sang happily. "Now Deano, I handed those papers off to the head nurse at the hospital so you should be all good." There was an unspoken question from Dean that apparently Gabriel knew was coming. "And Cassie-poo is still sleeping, it's so cute how you boys have synced your menstrual cycles even when you aren't together."

Dean groaned as he rolled out of bed, planting his bare feet against the hardwood floors before starting to the kitchen. It was too early for this shit. "Stupid up Gabriel."

There was a pause as Dean heard a car door open and close, "Did you hear that silence? That's how many fucks I give."

"Clever Gabriel, real clever."

"I know."

This time the silence was awkward; not because they didn't know each other that well, because they did, but because there were unspoken words. Words of distrust and anger between them and Dean wanted it to end. "I'm going to go Gabe." Dean stated, pressing the button to the coffee maker as he leaned against the counter.

"Dean..." Gabriel began, his voice sounding suddenly serious; now Dean was worried.

"What?"

Gabriel cleared his throat and Dean heard the familiar sounds of Jesse's. "I was mistaken about you..." Well shit. "Castiel was very adamant about your resolve."

Suddenly everything clicked; "Was that why he was mad at the hospital yesterday?"

There was a short pause that Dean was 99% sure was Gabriel nodding before he forgot he wasn't there in person. "Yep Deano. It is apparently unwise to insult my brother's boyfriend."

"I'm not his boyfriend."

"Not yet." Gabriel snorted. "Look Dean, I've never seen him get that upset about my insults before. Now even when I called him a flaming homosexual in high school."

Dean gaped, "You fucking called him that?" Dean's voice didn't mean to sound so protective but well, shit happens.

Instead of Gabriel getting aggressive at that he chuckled, "Well at least I know it's reciprocated."

Dean rolled his eyes but stayed silent, not wanting to egg the man on anymore than he needed to. Gabriel seemed to catch onto this because when he spoke up again there was a laugh in his voice; "Well I'll let you get all gussied up for your homecoming Deano. See ya." With that he hung up, not waiting for Dean to say goodbye.

Sighing Dean placed his phone down, grabbing a mug and pouring a good portion of coffee into it. Drinking the dark liquid down fast enough to burn his throat. He ignored the pain and placed the mug down, letting the shock of caffeine hit him. After that Dean did his normal, fed Zepp, take a shower, and then walked the pup. And just like normal for the last eleven days after the walk they both headed towards the car, jumping into his home on wheels and started towards the hospital.

* * *

As per normal Dean got there in about sixteen minutes, pulling into the normal parking area he left Zepp in the car, not wanting Dr. Meg Masters to throw a hissy fit about a freaking dog.

Entering the hallway there was a strange sense of finality about it and Dean wasn't sure what to make of it so he ignored the feelings and opted for making his way towards Castiel's room. Before going into Castiel's room Dean dropped off his finished paperwork at the nurses station. The nurse, who had to be at least ten years older than Layla, looked up at him with a cold expression and a serious face. Dean did his best to ignore her sour, condescending looks and started towards Castiel's room.

Upon entering the room Dean noticed one of two things first, and that was how Castiel was still sleep with Dean's song binder open across Castiel's chest like he had fallen asleep while reading it. The second was how all the stuff Dean had left over time was placed in one small pile on Dean's normal sitting arrangement. His guitar, notes that Anna and Charlie had left, a book by Vonnegut that Dean had brought on a whim to read to Castiel and had forgotten there and a reasonably small box with 'Dean' written on a card. Dean, unable to hide his curiosity walked over to the small box.

Picking it up he felt the weight of the box change easily. Putting assumptions aside he opened the small card and read.

Dean-

You know what saying an apple a day keeps the doctor away? Well, Dr. Masters needs a little bit more persuasion than an average doctor.

-Head Nurse Layla Rourke

Under that was a P.S. with her number saying to give her his address so she can come by and check on them. It was nice to have a nurse friend, that liked Cas and Dean enough to let Dean bring his partner home.

Dean was so concentrated on the letter he didn't notice the blue orbs of Castiel's eyes flutter open. He didn't notice the small smile that touched Castiel's lips as Dean opened the box and pulled out the small aerosol can of pepper spray. He did notice however when a low laugh graced Castiel's lips at that, "Afraid you have to take me down?"

Dean's head snapped towards Castiel, a grin crossing his face as soon as he heard his voice. "Maybe, I never know with you." He teased easily, taking the small step towards the bed to sit down on the side. "Mornin' Cas."

"Good morning Dean." Castiel's voice was rough and he didn't dare to move his actual body, but he still smiled and that was all Dean needed.

"How you feeling?" He asked softly, looking down at Cas with a worried expression. Damn this felt so ridiculously domestic.

Cas frowned however, "I have had better days, but it is nothing I cannot handle."

"You need them to up the pain meds?"

"I told them not to give me any."

Now that was a shock, "What? Why?"

Castiel actually looked rather sheepish at that and shrugged, "I do not believe in the use of analgesics." Well that was a shock.

"Dude. You're in pain."

Castiel shrugged at that, breaking eye contact for a moment. "The pain will subside, the possible addiction will not." There was a story behind that and Dean wasn't going to let that one slip.

"Past experiences?"

Cas nodded, looking over Dean's shoulder as his eyes glazed over; remembering the past. "I was in high school, I had a friend; Mark. Not a lot of people liked him, but he was a good guy. He was the oldest of his family and had a lot of pressure on him. Long story short Mark fell into morphine abuse..." There was a pause where Castiel's eyes moved from the spot on the wall to Dean's face; locking eyes with him. "We went to a concert in Chicago and I lost him in the crowds... When I finally gave up and returned to the hotel room I found him..." Cas looked away, obviously disturbed. Shit Dean shouldn't have brought this up. "I took him to the hospital but they couldn't do anything. He was already too far gone... Ever since then I've distrusted pain medication of all kinds."

Dean nodded, understanding the connection but unable to say anything. Silence filled the room and Dean let his mind wonder. Because of his work Dean knew a little of morphine addiction and it's symptoms. He also knew that an excess of morphine could cause comas. His stomach dropped as his eyes searched Castiel's face. "Cas..."

Castiel's eyes shifted from the wall to Dean's face. "Yes Dean?"

Dean licked his lips, eyes shifting all over Castiel's face till they met his eyes. "Don't go doing this shit again."

"Of course Dean."

A hush flowed between them as they continued to look at each other; unable to break eye contact. They did however when loud heels started towards the room, both heads turning towards the entrance as Dr. Masters' walked in. "Good morning boys." Either Dean or Castiel said anything to that. Meg seemed amused by that as she shook her head and walked closer. "So Dean Winchester, that's your real name right? Or would you like to lie again?"

Whoops.

"I'm good sweetheart." Dean shot back, his voice more venom than sugar.

Meg made a face at that and shook her curly haired head, "You're lucky that Gabriel Novak is very persuasive or I could report you." She looked down at her clipboard, a look of annoyance on her face. "I am legally obligated to inform you that removing Mr. Castiel Novak from MedStar Hospital might be detrimental to his health."

Like bobble heads, both agents nodded simultaneously but it was Cas that spoke up instead of Dean. "I am we'll aware of the health risks doctor, however I have full faith in Dean Winchester's capability of taking care of a few bruised ribs."

Dean totally didn't smirk at that, nope. "Meg, we have a medically certified nurse who will be checking in on a regular basis." This was getting ridiculous, Dean had his fair share of bruised ribs and broken limbs, he knew that the medical system liked their money and to squeeze it out of everyone. Dr. Masters' seemed stumped at that which allowed Dean to cut the conversation short. "Look, I want to get him home as fast as possible. You have the freaking paperwork now let him leave."

* * *

The next fifteen minutes were a complete waste of time. Dean didn't see the point of having to sign even more paperwork but apparently it was 'very important' according to Dr. Masters. Needless to say, Dean had Castiel official under his wing when Meg left.

It was like a breath of fresh air the moment she left the room and the two agents stared at each other, explaining their annoyance through their eyes.

"Ready to go?" Dean asked after a moment of just soaking in those eyes, honestly he could do this all day if it wasn't for the fact that Zepp probably was ready to go on a murdering spree if they didn't get back to the car soon. Castiel nodded at that and sat up, letting a pained groan out as he did so.

"I'm not about to leave the hospital in a gown Dean."

Dean wouldn't mind, he was sure that Cas was butt naked under that gown and if he walked behind Cas he'd get to see that jogger's ass he hadn't seen since the gym and this time naked. It wasn't a bad idea but Dean kept his mouth shut about that bit. 'Well where's your stuff?" Was the next best thing to say, the hospital probably had Castiel's phone and wallet as well and while it wouldn't bother Dean to watch the perfect rump walk around near naked it would bother him if he couldn't call Cas; even if he was always in Dean's eyesight.  

Castiel pointed to a reasonable dresser towards the wall opposite of the bed. "It's in there." He pushed the covers from across his body, revealing that he was indeed in a gown. Dean would make fun of him, not now, but later when he was completely healed Dean would bring up how he was dressed in a butt gown. Cas continued to sit on the bed, hands planted on either side of him body as Dean walked over to the dresser and grabbed the personal belongings bag, ripping it the bag opem for Cas before walking over and handing it to him.

"Thank you Dean." Castiel grumbled, placing  the bag down and rifling through it and pulling out the folded and newly cleaned clothing. Seeing that Castiel would have to actually put on his own clothing Dean cleared his throat.

"I'm -ah gonna wait out in the hall okay?" Dean didn't even give Cas the chance to reply to that one before he scurried out into the hallway to hide from the soon to be very naked Cas. Leaning again the cream colored wall Dean calmed down. Nope, don't think about Castiel's skin, how he was probably stripped of clothing right now, only a wall away.

To distract himself from thoughts of how soft Castiel's skin would feel under Dean's fingers Dean thought of the one mood killer: How to ask Castiel out. And just like Dean thought, the urges left him and replaced with panic. How was he supposed to ask him out? He couldn't just bring him to a bar and flirt and take him home, because Dean's home was also Castiel's and Cas wasn't one night stand material. No, Cas was more of the 'let me take you home and fuck you until you scream my name and lets go adopt kids' material. Dean had only ever had one other person he felt this strongly about and she left; taking Dean's heart with her. But Cas, Cas had helped him build it back. Dean had thought before he had done it himself, back when he didn't have Cas as a partner he was sure he fixed it himself. But he hadn't, he wasn't fixed until he felt those stupid domestic feelings of waking up and knowing that the coffee would be ready and the dog would have already gone out.

The question was, how would Dean even remotely be able to reciprocate this feeling? To have Castiel understand how much he meant to Dean, how much Dean needed him. However, as luck would have it, Dean didn't get any further in his thought process as the very moment he was starting a low string of curses came out from Castiel's room, calling Dean's attention. Dean didn't leave his spot, he wanted to peek around the corner into the room but didn't dare break Castiel's trust. Well, not until he heard Cas call his name.

"Dean I need your assistance." Dean whipped around the corner into Castiel's room before abruptly stopping to stare. Castiel, as it appeared, was able to get his boxers and pants on with ease but his shirts were lying in a crumpled pile on his bed like they had purposely caused him wrong. That wasn't what stopped Dean, no, it was the fact that Castiel was bare chested in front of him, plains of ivory skin stretching over lean runner's muscles. It took Dean a minute to look away and when he did it was far too slowly. His eyes racking over the indent running from Castiel's stomach to his pecs, traveling to the dip on his neck that was sprinkled with black stubble. Bringing his eyes up a little farther their eyes met.

If Dean had done that with anyone else, spent almost a minute staring down their body, the other person would feel uncomfortable but Cas seemed completely comfortable with it, even if the blue of his eyes were slightly darker for some odd reason. Wetting his lips ever so slightly Castiel started up, "My arm, I can't get the shirt on and I acquire some of your help." Well if that didn't sound reasonably sexy.

Dean nodded and cleared his throat before daring to speak and even than his voice was a tad bit more husky than normal. "Yeah sure Cas."

Reaching over Dean grabbed the pile of shirts and separated the muscle-t from the button down since they were Castiel's work clothes. Making sure the muscle-t wasn't inside out he looked up to see Castiel studying him. "Dean."

"Yeah?"

Castiel took a second to steel himself before looking Dean directly into the eyes. "Am I permitted to show you something?"

Dean would have loved to joke about that, say that they should wait for the first date or something like that but the look on Castiel's face, the uncertainty, stayed Dean's tongue and he nodded. "Yeah of course dude."

Castiel nodded, like it finalized something for him and taking a moment to stare Dean in the eyes Cas relaxed his shoulders before turning around to reveal his muscled back.

Of course it wasn't the muscles that Dean noticed, no it was the starch black lines and shades of a tattoo that dragged Dean's attention away from anything else. Sprouting out of the inside of Castiel's shoulder blades came two large, very black, angel wings. The detail on them was incredible and that alone would make an average person gawk but for Dean this wasn't just a tattoo. No, Castiel had changed the definition of tattoos for Dean and Castiel was showing Dean his soul, out in the open, completely trusting. And it was beautiful, flat out gorgeous in Dean's eyes. The wings went from the very top of Castiel's shoulders to the bottom of his lower back, right above where the boxers peaked out, the feathers running under the fabric as Castiel rustled his back, making the muscles move and the wings to seem alive. Some of the feathers were coming out ever so slightly, like his wings hadn't been properly taken care of or something of that nature and Dean wanted to reach out and touch them, to remove the excess feathers and save them. But they were inked onto Castiel's skin and he couldn't so instead he took in a shaky breath and unknowingly mumbled out a "whoa" which attracted Castiel's attention.

Castiel's uninjured arm reached back and he touched his back, as if seeing if it was alright, "What is it Dean?" He asked, his voice trying to be calm but with the pain he was in it was hard to keep out the panic.

Understanding that Dean needed to explain he quickly answered, "It's just... it's beautiful." He had no other words to explain it, well he did but perfect and stunning, and that seemed a little too extreme.

Castiel's hand dropped and he turned around to look at Dean, seeming to calm down as soon as he looked into his eyes. "You really believe that?" His voice soft and fragile as his blue pools drowned Dean.

"Cas, not for nothing but I haven't lied to you once and I don't intend to start lying now." It was true, Dean would never lie about this tattoo, about Castiel.

With his soul reading eyes, Castiel seemed to realize that because a small smile pulled at his lips. "Thank you Dean."

"For what?"

"For allowing me to bare my soul to you."

* * *

It took Dean about two minutes to realize what was wrong with getting Castiel's button down on, but even when he suggested they unroll the sleeve and reroll it once it was over the cast Castiel denied the act saying it was a waste of time and effort and how he just wanted to get home. _Home_. At least Dean wasn't the only one that believed the apartment to theirs now and not just Dean's.

They left the hospital with no incidents, making a straight away for the car and Zepp, who by the way, seemed to have staged a mutiny against Dean as she was sitting in the front seat of the Impala looking pretty proud of herself. The moment she saw Castiel (who was adorably just wearing socks as he was too agitated with trying to get his shoes on "Dean! I will not have you tie my shoes like a five year old!") Zepp started to flip a shit, realizing he was in casual clothing and that meant he had to be coming home.

The moment Dean opened the door (there was no need to lock Baby with Zepp inside) Zepp took off like a cannonball, freely able to express all her emotions at Castiel not being home. Though, a wound up dog was not the best idea to place on Castiel as her first reaction was to jump on him. Luckily for Cas Dean was fast enough to grab him by the shoulders and hold him upright so he didn't fall over.

"Zepp!" Dean reprimanded, giving her a stern look. "He's injured. Be nice." To this day, after years of owning Zepp, Dean was still shocked by her overabundance of intelligence. She got down quickly, like she had been burned and sat down in front of Castiel, looking up at him as if waiting for his permission. Castiel, the sucker he was, smiled gently and leaned down; gracing Zepp with loving but gentle praise as he pet her.

"It's ok Zepp, you wouldn't know I'm still in pain." He mused, still giving her love via petting as he continued the on with the conversation with a dog. "How about once we get back home I take you for a walk and than we can be couch potatoes together until I am back to full health?" If Zepp seemed to have some vague dog understanding of what was going to happen, walk and couch probably were probably the main reasons she understood. Giving a soft whine Zepp looked at Dean before licking Castiel's wrist gently. Dean, as much as he loved them both knew that if they stayed outside for too long with Cas only in a muscle-t, they'd all get a cold. So being the mature human being he was he opened the back door and called Zepp to get in, which she did after giving Castiel's hand a good lick down.

Chuckling Castiel stood up from where he had crouched and started towards the passenger side, getting in oddly so not to pull his stitches. The very first thing Castiel noticed upon entering the car was the two packs of cigarettes in the middle of the seat, one half empty and the other still unopened. "Dean..." His voice sounded almost aggressive. "Are you smoking?"

Sighing silently to himself Dean closed the back door and climbed into the front seat, grabbing the open pack and pulling out two cigarettes, handing one to Castiel before placing the other between his lips. "Yes Cas. Don't you dare go bitching at me." He warned, pulling the lighter out of his pocket and lighting the end of his cigarette before looking over at Cas to find he already had his own stick of tobacco pressed between his lips. Dean leaned over ever so slightly to light Castiel's cigarette before cracking the windows open to allow the smoke out.

The conversation dropped for a total of about a minute but the moment Dean pulled Baby out onto the main stretch of road to go home Castiel spoke up. "Why?" Dean didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know what that was geared towards. The only question was how to explain it.

Taking a drag and allowing the smoke to crawl out of his lips he turned to Castiel, hoping his explanation was good enough. "I told you I was having urges to pick it back up. But when Gabriel called me and..." He trailed off at that, unsure if he was going to make this seem guilt free for Cas. "When I saw you there, and I couldn't even freaking ask you what happened and I realized that I should have been there... Well it seemed like the proper time to pick it back up." He shrugged unconvincingly. It was all true, of course, but Dean didn't think it explained it all. Probably because it didn't. It didn't explain how the smell of cigarette smoke reminded Dean of home and of Castiel and how he was desperate to get anything similar to Cas near him so he could feel safe again. No, it didn't explain that and to Dean he realized that if he ever voiced these ideals out loud he'd probably be shunned as a freak or something across those lines. And being seen as a 'freak' in Castiel's eyes was definitely not on Dean's list of '111 things to do before I die'.

However, trust Castiel to be the one to pull Dean out of his inner thoughts with one simple comment. "Dean I hope you realize that none of this is your fault." It was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak, and Dean kind of went off.

"Damnit Cas, I ain't sure if I'm guilty or if you're guilty but I know for fucking certain that it's Alastair's fault and let me tell you" her took a drag, glaring down the road as he went on, "if I ever have the pleasure of meeting him again I will rip his fucking lungs out." It was no threat, it was a promise and Castiel knew that, growing silent and strangely thoughtful after that. Leaving the car completely silent between them except the gentle roar of classic rock coming in over the stereo.

_You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin'_   
_I'm gonna send ya back to schoolin'_   
_Way down inside, honey you need it_   
_I'm gonna give you my love_   
_I'm gonna give you my love, oh_

_ Wanna whole lotta love  
Wanna whole lotta love _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM. that's results man XD Ok, so there's actually only two more chapters to the fic after this but don't worry! There's about.... six(?) ficlets of different stories that interact with this one ;D And then I still have... like three more to write so this universe isn't going anywhere. (Plus I'll be telling you guys something special at the end of the fic so :*) 
> 
> See guys? Cas is back! I would /never/ take him officially way from his soulmate so don't worry your pretty little heads about it. I might have the next chapter uploaded by tonight (it's a rainy day so it's kinda perfect for editing) but if I don't it will be up by tomorrow. Cheers!


	10. Unexpected Reactions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHAHAHAHA I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS CHAPTER. HHAHAHAHAHA PORN JUST SO YOU KNOW.

The next week of Castiel in his cast was pretty annoying in all honesty, Cas had thrown a bitch fit when he found out that Dean wanted Cas to sleep in his bed and Dean would be demoted to the couch. But Dean stood by his previous decision no matter how much Castiel would glare and grump. Dean found that part of the week pretty cute (even if it was kinda annoying). What Dean did get annoyed at was Castiel's constant snapping. Since Cas didn't want to be involved with any narcotics he snapped back way too easily and smoked nearly a pack a day. Dean hated leaving his partner when it came time for Dean to return to work so Dean actually ended up driving to Sam's place and picking up his old Xbox so that Cas would have something to do while he was laying around. What he didn't expect out of that was for Cas to bypass Mass Effect, COD, Saboteur and several other violent games to play freaking Viva Piñata.

Freaking Viva Piñata.

Dean wasn't even sure how Cas got his hands on it, when Dean asked Cas just said "Don't trouble yourself with that." Now, that really worried Dean but he kept mouth shut. Soon enough Layla said that Cas could move to a smaller, less obnoxious cast for his arm and Dean drove Cas to the hospital that weekend.

The majority of Castiel's clothing was too tight for him to wear with the new cast, let alone the larger one so he ended up having to wear Dean's shirts. Not that Dean complained; at all. Layla seemed to realize that Cas was wearing Dean's clothing half way through the second week and got this goofy smile on her face whenever they did something 'couple-like' as she called it. Dean did his best to ignore it and Castiel seemed to follow his example except sometimes Dean would catch Castiel staring at him with an odd look on his face.

With the new cast Castiel was able to return back to work but only as a pencil pusher so Dean had to team up with Jo for some jobs. It felt so awkward to leave the office with Castiel watching him leave with those god damn dejected puppy dog eyes. Dean thought Sammy's puppy dog eyes were bad but Castiel was slowly climbing to number one every time he gave him that look whenever Bobby popped his head in to say Dean had a job.

Dean had no idea for about a week but apparently as soon as Dean left the office Castiel would walk around the cubicles bitching about all the things he couldn't do without Dean. It didn't really sound like Cas, so he confronted Becky about it.

As it turned out Cas only made mention of how off it was to work without Dean around to Becky. So Becky being Becky, had gone to Bobby and over exaggerated the shit out of what happened so that Bobby would allow Dean to stay instead of going out with Jo on cases. It surprisingly worked because for the next two weeks Dean was on desk duty with Cas, writing the case reports for Jo and the other agents.

As happy as Dean was not to leave Castiel's side there were several things that he did hate about being on deck duty. First of all, whenever Castiel snapped at him for something stupid like using a black pen and a blue one on the same paper.

"Dude Cas we're just going to fax it over! The colors don't freaking matter."

Another was being in one place for a long period of time. No seriously, Dean felt like a caged wolf and in turn his bitching went from a level ten or a level fifteen. The last and most annoying result was the freaking workplace rumors. Of course no one said it directly to Dean or Castiel but there were the circulating rumors that Jo and Becky would relay to them. The majority of them were just how they were fucking and how people placed bets to 'see how long Winchester could last this one'. Dean was ready to punch a bitch when Jo related that one to him. He kept his cool until he went out for a smoke. Apparently that was when Jo told Cas the same news because as Dean stood out in the street he heard a window open and upon looking up, Dean could see Cas hanging out their office window glaring forward over the building across the street.

They never talked about it though, both Dean and Castiel made that an unspoken rule that neither of them would bring it up. But it certainly didn't help them. As the weeks progressed and Castiel's clothing started to go from Castiel's suitcase into Dean's closet and Dean's clothing was thrown around in annoyance as Cas hated his cast with a pure hatred. While the majority of Dean's time was spent with Cas there were a couple times where Dean blatantly hid from Cas, mainly when he was calling people trying to find Alastair. There was no way he'd let him get away. Not a chance in hell.

So, a week before Castiel could get his cast off, when Layla would visit just out of habit and to say hi instead of as professional, Dean was shocked to get a call from Gabriel.

Dean excused himself from the room, from the social connections and walked into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him before speaking up. "Yeah Gabe?"

Due to Castiel's handicap Gabriel was often around the house or at the workplace; whether to drop off a couple packs for Cas or just to pop in he had become a regular occurrence in Dean's life. So it was a no brainer to ask Gabe if any of his connections could get that bastard Alastair Ripper. He never actually expected Gabe to get to him before Charlie (who was also looking around for Dean).

"I've found him." Gabriel's voice was that rare serious tone that usually made Dean feel uncomfortable but now just filled him with purpose.

"Where is he?" Dean growled out, glaring at a pair of his boxers that Cas had thrown to the floor while changing (yeah it was totally normal for two men to share their boxers. Shut up).

"Cheyenne... Wyoming."

"Son of a bitch." Dean had to calm himself, he knew that was a good day away, he also knew it'd be easier to fly there but Dean had an irrational fear of flying so that was pretty much out of the question... But...

"I'll pay for your ticket Dean." Gabriel stated, his voice cold and threatening as he thought on the ordeal. "Someone needs to teach him a lesson and I figured you'd like the honor." Now that was tempting; really tempting.

Sighing slightly Dean gave himself a moment to think. First he thought of his chances, Alastair would totally not expect Dean to show up, he'd be able to have the jump on him but the question was... did he bring a back up? He would not bring Cas, no fucking way in hell but he would need back up. Maybe not Gabriel, because Gabriel was a little too aggressive when it came to his siblings. Dean blinked, Sammy of course.

Okay good, he had who he was bringing but the question now was...Car or plane? If he took his car it'd probably be a five day deal because Sammy was a girl and Dean would need to stop for him to sleep and get his rabbit food. Plus, as much as he loved Baby she'd be a dead give away to Alastair. So it'd have to be plane, have to...fuck.

"I'll pay for my own, but you have to pay for Sammy's ticket."

"Sam? Really?"

Dean sighed and nodded, "I'm not going without my brother. Cas and Sammy are the two people I trust with my back the most. Cas is benched right now so yeah Sam."

There was a long pause on the other side of the line before Gabriel sighed, " Alright fine."

Dean snorted at that and turned around to face the window. "Not like you had a choice Gabriel."

"Yeah I did; I choose you because its almost like you can do no wrong in my brother's eyes."

"Ah-I... I have to go now Gabe, text me about it okay?"

"Yeah okay Deano."

Dean hung up and rubbed a hand over his face, well, that was painfully awkward. Dean ignored the feeling and texted Sam the plan, Sam ultimately agreeing. Though he did make a comment how he was shocked about Dean's choice of taking an airplane and not driving. But in all honesty, Dean didn't want to leave Cas alone. Not ever.

* * *

There was a full twenty-four hours were Dean was home and with Cas before he could take the flight to Cheyenne. Every minute with Cas was hell, every minute because Dean couldn't tell Cas where he was going. He was lying to Cas; lying and that was one thing be promised Cas he would never do to him. But here he was, telling Cas he was going to help a friend out in Wyoming and for Cas not to worry.

Of course Cas worried, Dean managed to go from smoking whenever stressed to almost finishing a half a pack in a day. That was a dead give away. However Cas didn't say anything, well he did once, but after that he stayed quiet about it; just giving Dean sad looks when he thought Dean wasn't looking. It killed Dean, surely and softly, but he didn't change his mind. He needed to protect Castiel and this was his way of doing so.

Dean left that Wednesday morning, planning on being back on Saturday for Castiel to get his cast off.

Sam and Dean arrived at the airport at five that morning and didn't get back until Friday night and this time sporting a black eye and busted lip. Dean suddenly wished that he was good at makeup because walking into the apartment and seeing a very concerned and marginally pissed Cas was not on his list of things to do. Shit.

"Dean? Are you alright?" Cas called, standing up from the couch; effectively pushing Zepp off as well.

"Shit Cas, shouldn't you be sleeping?" Dean grumbled as Cas walked over stiffly to check Dean's face. Dean knew that even though Cas had been playing off his injuries as nothing big, the skin around his ribs was still a horrible shade of purple and still hurt him.

Cas rolled his eyes at Dean's concern and reached out to press his fingers gently against the skin around Dean's black eye. "Who did this to you?" He asked quietly, the tips of his fingers slowly moving down towards Dean's lip to check out that damage. Well at least they had near matching busted lips even though Castiel's was almost completely healed.

Dean decided that it was time to tell Cas what had really happened. "Cas..." He breathed against the soft skin of Castiel's fingertips. "It was the same person that did this." He said ever so gently as he reached out and placed his large, warm hand over Castiel's wounded ribs.

It didn't have the effect Dean hoped. Cas jumped back at the touch, the concern being wiped away from his face to be replaced with pure agitation. "Dean Winchester what have you done?"  

Oh Dean was so screwed.

"I wasn't helping a friend there exactly..." He started, watching as Castiel's face turned darker. "I ah... I got a lead on Alastair Ripper and... Well I took it."

"By yourself?" Castiel's voice was a cold calm, like before a storm. Dean shook his head and watched as Castiel's neck and his face slowly started to change color but for a completely different reason than normal.

"Who was with you?"

"Sam."

Castiel's eyes widened at that and it was obvious he was holding anger in, his uninjured hand moving to push his hair back. "You're telling me that you took your little brother into danger to commit a crime as you lie to me?"

Oh shit.

"Cas come on man, I didn't want you getting all worked up and-"

"Worked up?" Castiel barked effectively cutting Dean off. His body, no matter how broken, seemed to tower over Dean's despite the fact Cas was smaller than him. "I am not some housewife Dean. I am your partner, I have done multiple cases with you in the few months we've been together. We've been shot at, more than often tied up or cut by psychotic cultists and every time we've done it together. But than you what? Got bored and decided 'Gee I'm Dean Winchester, I haven't done anything manly in a while thanks to my freeloader partner. I should go find a guy I don't like and beat the shit out of him and lie to my partner while doing so! Cause nothing could go wrong.' I'm sorry I have suddenly become boring enough for you to go out and personally seek danger to entertain yourself. You could have just said something instead of risking your life."

Whoa, whoa, whoa back the fuck up. "Cas you're not boring me. I did this for you and Anna."

Castiel was already shaking his head, starting towards the bedroom "No Dean, you did it for yourself." With that he closed the door behind him, along with the bathroom door, cutting Dean off from him.

When Dean finally finished cleaning up his wounds and brushing his teeth he was able to climb onto the couch and cuddle up with Zepp, who had been shocked into staying with Dean when Castiel had freaked out. She took up her average position on the couch; laying on Dean's chest and the free section that Dean didn't occupy.

Dean fell asleep craving a cigarette and forgiveness.

* * *

Dean had nightmares that night, broken and disconnected so he lost them the moment he woke up. Dean was under the impression that he didn't make any sounds in his sleep but apparently he had. When Dean opened his eyes he was greeted with the sight of Cas halfway across the living room with a concerned look on his face. Of course as soon as Cas realized that Dean was awake he whirled back around and into the bedroom; this time waiting for Zepp to join him. What a bastard, turning his own dog against him. Castiel shut the door with more force than necessary behind the two. Without the comfort of Zepp's soft fur Dean was lost and he was doomed to think. And sadly right now he couldn't push away his thoughts.

It was about five o'clock in the morning so there was no way for Dean to get back to sleep, he knew that, so electing to suffer through the day, Dean stood up and walked into the kitchen, making the coffee for once. The coffee beans made so much noise that Dean thought about stopping himself but by than it was too late and he made enough coffee for seven cups. So he could have three and Cas could have the four left over cups.

After finishing off one cup he poured the two others into a traveling mug and walked into the bathroom. Spraying himself down with some cologne to cover up the smell of older clothing (he hadn't had any time to change out of his jeans and shirt before Castiel had kicked him out of the bedroom) Quickly sitting down on the couch Dean grabbed his socks. Making sure that they didn't smell too bad he slipped them on, along with his shoes and started for the door. Grabbing his headphones and his cigarettes Dean made his way towards the door, silently closing it behind him.

On his way into the elevator he grabbed his phone and stuck his headphones into his ears before pressing shuffle on his phone. He had to give his phone some props, it usually knew exactly what Dean was feeling and today was no different.

_Oh Tule, it's on account of you that I've been weeping_   
_Here behind my hand_   
_It's lonesome in my heart's land as the sands of the desert_

_Oh, tell me, why was it always you, who, through the changes_   
_You, who always sang and played while the green vespers rang_   
_In the heart of the hillside?_

Well fuck you very much his phone and Warron Zevon equally. Dean walked out of the elevator and made his way to the basement door; towards Van Ness.

Blasting Tule's Blues Dean made a right and walked a couple blocks losing himself in forming thoughts. Rewinding his mind he found his way back to Castiel's fury, trying to figure out exactly what he was trying to say.

_"Cas come on man, I didn't want you getting all worked up and-"_

_"Worked up?"_

Dean cringed. Okay, that was a bad move on Dean's part. Cas had so many injuries and not enough pain medication to even cover the pain and 'worked up' sounded way too... detached.

Shit.

Dean pulled out his pack and placed a cigarette with his lips, lighting it with one easy stroke of the wheel. Breathing in the nicotine Dean realized several other things. Cas was right, Dean shouldn't have lied. He fucked up hardcore and here Dean had been so proud of his truthful streak and now Castiel was going to realize what a waste of space Dean was. He was going to leave and Dean never even got to kiss him. Never got to hold him or tell him anything. No, instead Castiel believed Dean thought he was a mooch and worth nothing.

Dean's stomach did a somersault, how could he even try to explain this to Cas? How could he explain that he didn't see a time when Castiel wasn't in the picture? How he returned to his original animal instincts with Cas; to love, protect, and breed (okay impossible but still) with him, no holds barred? He couldn't because he was emotionally constipated, he knew he was, Sammy had always told him but he just blatantly ignored it. Until now. Until he was about to loose the only thing he gave two shits about besides Sam.

Shit.

Dean made it to Tenleytown Circle before crossing the road and walking back, a new cigarette already in place of the other. Damn stress. Better than drinking. At least with smoking he could keep his mind and not do something incredibly stupid. Right? Dean pushed the thoughts away and allowed himself to mindlessly walk. To just breathe in and out as the capital around him woke up. Even on a Saturday there were men in business suits and women grabbing cabs as they busied themselves with the daily grind.

Somehow Dean kept his mind off the topic of Castiel for a good three songs, it wasn't until Guns N' Roses killed it with Patience. It was funny in a kind of ironic way that, out of all the people in the world, it would be Axl freakin' Rose who brought Dean to a life altering realization.

Like lightening, the words that Castiel had said once in the beginning of their friendship hit home; _"I'm saying I saw your soul; not your heart."_  It took Dean months to finally realize it; what it all meant and all it took was Axl singing _'There is no doubt you're in my heart now'._  

Freaking incredible.

Dean kicked himself out of his daze and realized he was right next to the tail end of the park that ran adjacent to his street.

Well shit.

Making a 90° turn he continued down Van Ness until he reached the apartment complex. Instead of taking the elevator Dean took the stairs, three at a time until he got to his floor and burst through the door; echoing down the empty hall.

Okay, it was seven in the morning on a Saturday but Dean for once figured something out on his own; no one told him what to do, he wasn't some stupid soldier as everyone believed him to be and fuck he had a right to be proud of himself for figuring out this emotional bullshit.

Bursting into the apartment will little care of noise he found Castiel cuddled up on the couch, playing fucking Viva Piñata. Somehow Dean managed to keep a serious face even when he heard the freaking Whirlms making romance noises (yeah Dean knew all that shit now, way too many weeks of watching Cas play).

What shocked Dean was how Castiel's attention gravitated towards Dean, maybe it was the fact that he sprinted a block and climbed the stairs like Tarzan but Cas looked at him.

"Cas..." Dean breathed out, as most of his sentences started out with nowadays.

"Don't waste your breath Dean, your brain still needs oxygen." Castiel replied curtly, turning back to the screen. Dean, being the mature 30 year old, moved directly in front of the screen, making it impossible for Cas to see his garden. So Cas paused it and crossed his arms; glaring up at Dean. "Yes?"

"I figured it out." Dean was still low on breath but he had to try and get this out.n

"Finally figured what out? Why you're an asshole or why you're a hypocrite?" That what a stab into Dean's heart but he soldiered on.

"Neither. What you meant meant with my tattoo."

Castiel straightened slightly, suddenly uncomfortable or something along those lines but Dean continued, getting closer to his partner. "You said that you could see my soul, but not my heart right?"

"You are correct." Castiel answered curtly, keeping his eyes away from Dean as Dean advanced. "Well I asked Sammy about it but he said I'd have to figure it out on my own. So I just let it drop, figuring it didn't matter." Castiel's face showed a tinge of annoyance but Dean continued; determined. "But I was... walking around this morning and ya know, thinking and I realized what you meant."

Castiel crossed his arms, allowing the controller for the Xbox to rest on his knee as he did so. "Is that right?"

Dean nodded at this and advanced even more; sitting on the coffee table so that Cas would have to look at him. "You meant that you knew who I was, what I was but you didn't know what I was the most passionate about." Cas stayed quiet for a long time, so long that Dean thought he wasn't going to answer; that Dean got it wrong.

"You are not incorrect." Cas mumbled out, watching Dean carefully as he continued to stay in the covers like some kind of agitated owl.

Dean nodded and leaned forward, causing Castiel to recede farther into the comforter but Dean continued; trying to get Cas to see. "So don't you see it?"

"See what Dean?" Cas shot back, glaring slightly as he watched the other agent with guarded eyes.

"My heart, that whole tattoo thing you were talking about so long ago."

"That remains a mystery to me Dean."

Dean took a deep breath, how was he supposed to say this? What was written on his heart and not his soul. He knew exactly what had to be said but no idea how to say it; not without sounding completely incompetent. Dean knew he had to go through with this though, it was either be embarrassed or Cas would hate him. It wasn't that hard to pick out which one was worse.

"Well, for one I figured out the difference between heart and soul." Dean started, running a hand through his hair. "I want you to correct me if I'm wrong but... the soul is you as a person, your characteristics and the like while the heart is something sort of more personal. Like what you love and what you hold close... Right?"

Dean waited for Castiel's sign but the man removed himself from the covers and got more comfortable before turning his blue floodlight eyes onto Dean's once more. "Correct, the soul is who you are, a sort of complete picture while the heart is where your passions are held. " Castiel illustrated before looking down at his hands for a moment, as if there was something written there within all the creases and crevices. Dean took this as initiative enough to continue.

Adrenaline started to kick in at this exact moment and Dean's breath caught in his throat. Fuck, he hadn't gotten this nervous in a long time, last time was when he thought Sam was going to elope with Jess and leave Dean by himself.

Hopefully this would be sort of the same, with the conversational partner staying even with Dean's insistent annoyances. "Alright well..." Dean started, clearing his throat several times before letting his eyes drift around the room.

Shit, Nut Up Winchester.

"You want to know what's in my heart right?" Freaking Dean losing his nerve.

Castiel gave Dean a look and sighed, "That is what you suggested but if it is going to be hard for you than perhaps we should just-"

"I need you." Dean spit out, cutting Cas off and successfully silencing him. "I need you Cas. Jesus man, you're more than just a partner, you're family and fuck you're no freeloader. I've never thought of you like that. I was kind of hoping you wouldn't leave. I got so damn used to you being around all the time that I traveled to the hospital in the mornings sometimes just so I knew you were still around." Dean looked away from Castiel's face to not witness whatever was going to happen on that blank canvas of skin and stubble, he didn't need to see the looks he'd receive for what he was about to say. "I figured out what you meant, that I found Alastair for myself. Yeah it's true, I went out of my way to find that bastard to beat his face in because he took you away from me. Because I wasn't there to help or protect you and that was all on me."

Dean picked that moment to look at Castiel and saw him opening his mouth, "Dean."

Dean couldn't help stopping his words, pretty sure that he already messed up, judging by the look on Castiel's face. "Oh come on Cas, I know you're going to say how you don't need protecting but you said it yourself, we're partners, we're supposed to have each other's backs and-"

"Dean."

"I really fucked up and-"

"Dean!" Castiel almost shouted, finally gaining Dean's attention. "You need me?"

Out of all that Dean just admitted, that was what Cas picked up on? Well Dean guessed it was actually the most important bit, so it kind of made sense. "Yes."

Castiel leaned back into the couch, nodding slightly to himself as he watched Dean's face carefully. "What if I said that I felt the same way about you?"

Dean's heart started to beat a hell lot faster, his hearing turning funny as his heart beat became pretty much the only thing Dean could hear. "I ah... wouldn't believe you." Dean admitted truthfully. There was no way Cas felt that way, none of the signs pointed to that. Not the fact Cas saved his ass countless times, dealt with his constant annoying habits and made him coffee almost every morning; no that made too much sense for Dean to even acknowledge it.

Castiel nodded at that, sighing slightly before rolling his eyes. "Fucking Agent Dean Winchester." He growled out, cursing for the first time that Dean could remember and holy shit it was fucking hot. Turning those steel blue eyes towards Dean he froze the other agent to the spot as he declared a simple, "And I suppose that you Dean Winchester, FBI agent with a classic car and give them hell 'em hell attitude would want physical proof correct?"

Well shit he would love physical proof, it was real and touchable; so obviously he replied with a "Yeah of cour-"

Whatever Dean was about to say was cut off by Castiel leaning over and pressing his lips violently against Dean's. It wasn't soft, it wasn't gentle and it damn well wasn't chaste. But Dean knew it was possibly the best kiss he’d ever had and he sure as hell wasn't going to let it go to waste, fuck no.

He leaned into Cas, soaking in the taste of coffee and cigarettes that Castiel always carried in the morning, grabbing his shirt and pulling the smaller man closer to him. Castiel gave up no resistance, melding his body with Dean's; fitting perfectly with his, Castiel gripping onto him tightly in return.

Dean had no idea how it happened, no seriously, one minute he's sitting on the coffee table and the next moment the blankets of the couch are on the floor and his back is against the leather as Castiel crawled over him like some kind of giant fucking feline. Dean was going to die wasn't he?

Worth it.

He didn't even have time to think about what was happening, the sexual tension coming to a head with a flurry of mouths pressed together. All Dean knew was that Castiel's mouth was hot and needy against his and that his body fit oh so perfectly against him; it was all Dean needed in his life. Dean's mouth worked easily against Castiel's as it conveyed feelings Dean's words couldn't; please don't leave, please stay safe, please love me, please, please, please. Castiel took every unspoken word easily into his being, pressing his chest against Dean's as they moved together, Dean's legs opened in a V for Castiel's slender hips to fit perfectly into. Every fantasy Dean had about kissing Castiel was wrong, this reality, this physical and true realm was worth months of pining; every moment of the pain to feel the heat for Castiel against him. Dean didn't realize his hand were roaming Castiel's body, feeling the dips and crevices of taunt skin until he ran his needy fingers over Castiel's bruised ribs and Cas let out a little whine of pain at the touch. Dean's lips and fingers stopped immediately at that, unsure of Castiel's standing as he was still injured.

"If you even consider stopping now Dean Winchester I will go into your bedroom and grab that inconspicuous box of items under your bed and fuck myself senseless on your bed; without you."

If Dean needed a reason to continue it was the thought of Castiel spread out over his bed, his ass up and pink from preparation as his lubed up one of Dean's dildos. Yeah, Dean wasn't going to let that happen, but first things first.

Without a word Dean rocked his body up so that Castiel automatically removed himself from Dean, looking rather appalled at Dean's decision. Before Cas could complain Dean grabbed his hand and made a beeline for the bedroom, effectively kicking Zepp out of there since she had moved in there when they had been arguing. "Out Zepp." He called, closing the door behind him. Letting go of Cas he turned to the bathroom and closed that door, making sure they had some semblance of privacy before turning back and finding Cas already shirtless. Shit, he was fast.

Without the shirt Dean realized that Cas was still handicapped with the cast, despite the fact that it would be coming off that afternoon. Still, Dean wanted to be careful of the thing. There was only one option to get the best of both worlds and Dean's pants got horribly tight at the idea. Cas was already in the process of stripping his pants off. What a little -… unless Cas had wanted this for just as long as Dean? That could be a possible reason; maybe...

But still Dean needed Castiel's sweats discarded so this good. When Castiel noticed Dean only removing his shirt and pants but not his lifted boxers, he raised an eyebrow, a silent 'excuse me?' to which Dean replied with a smirk that visibly made Castiel harden even more. Had he always had this effect? Sure, Dean's dreams had usually been of the dewy variety but to think Castiel had the same problem... Well shit, Dean needed to do something to Castiel before he screamed.

Silently reaching over, Dean placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder and brought him to the side of the bed, Castiel's legs dangling over the edge when he sat. It seemed that Cas understood exactly what was happening at that moment because he reached behind him and grabbed one of the thinner, flatter pillows, handing it to Dean. Dean grinned up at Castiel, still feeling like this was some crazy, hopeful dream before placing it between Castiel's feet and resting his knees on it.

He could smell Castiel before he even got the chance to look up and investigate the masterpiece in front of him. But there it was, musky with the scent scent of man and throbbing with contained want. This was Dean's first time being able to look at Castiel's cock and holy shit, in Dean's mind it was pretty perfect, maybe because it belonged to Castiel but still. He did notice how it was slightly curved instead of the average straight; Dean had no problem with that. Taking a deep breath Dean looked up to Castiel who was watching him with careful eyes clouded in lust.

"Cas..." He exhaled, a hiss of hot breath brushing over Castiel's inner thigh, "I need you." He kissed the other man where his breath had wafted not moments earlier, repeating the words over and over again as he got closer and closer to the crossroads of Castiel's legs. Castiel's breath hitched above Dean’s head as the healthier agent gently nipped with his lips at the skin between Castiel's dick and balls, Dean noting to remember that sweet sound for later. Licking his lips Dean stared down his breakfast, he could take it.

Placing kisses against the underside of Castiel's cock Dean continued to hum small sentences. Sometimes the sentence would be "I need you," other times it would be "don't leave," and once as Castiel gripped the sheets in clenched hands, Dean finally reaching his tip, he said ever so gently "stay.." before taking Castiel’s length into his mouth.

Whatever Dean was expecting it wasn't this; not this perfection. Dean took all of him without hesitation, going for gold only to be rewarded with a low whimper from Castiel. An actual whimper. It only took a couple seconds of Dean's mouth sucking and teasing before things got a little less... proper (as proper as this could get). Dean's pink lips moved around the throbbing member to tease Castiel, succeeding as the half lidded Cas looked down at Dean in lustful bewilderment.

"I got you." Dean growled, taking a reprieve with a teasing slide of the tongue towards the base of Castiel's cock, caressing the throbbing object as he did so.

It wasn't until Dean reached the base that Castiel's lust addled brain put two and two together; but it was too late because Dean was already going to town on Castiel's balls. The moan that came from Castiel the moment that Dean placed one of him in his mouth, sucking and swirling his tongue, was worth every second that Dean wasn't able to fuck Cas senseless on any hard surface. The moan was so feral, wild and deep that it caused Dean's cock to actually ache with longing. Castiel would have to forgive Dean for sticking a hand in his own pants but there was no way he wasn't going to touch himself with this beautiful sight before him: Castiel on his bed, moaning and whimpering and quickly losing it. Dean's mouth was removed from the warm flesh with a slick pop before running his teeth ever so slightly back over the shaft, causing Castiel to arch his back, biting his lip well enough to cover up a moan but not the strangled call of 'Dean!'

If Dean took Castiel's cock back into his mouth like a champ and tried ten times harder; it was purely because he enjoyed this and not the fact that Castiel was actually physically starting to sweat and writhe under his lips, muttering near incoherent 'Dean's over and over. It wasn't long until Castiel tried to warn Dean, "Dean, oh- Dean I'm going-" Dean nodded, racking his teeth gently across the underside just enough for Castiel to be pushed over the edge.

Pulling at the sheets, Castiel let go, all of it, straight into Dean's enthusiastic mouth. Dean, for his part, swallowed the entire load down, except for the small amount that leaked out of the corners of his lips. Pumping his mouth over and over, riding Castiel's orgasm, he only removed his mouth after Cas let out another whimper, his member too sensitive to deal with any more touches. Slipping his lips from around Cas’s softening cock Dean looked up to see Castiel laying down on the bed, chest heaving as he enjoyed his post-cum afterglow.

Seeing the man splayed out on his own bed, Dean couldn't help but continue what he had before neglected to take into action. Already destroyed from just watching Castiel, feeling him writhe under his mouth and tasting the salty sweet on his lips, it didn't take long for Dean to take care of himself. It was apparently good that he hadn't had sex in months; less sex, the more enjoyable and easy the orgasm.

Biting his own lip to keep his noises down to a minimum, Dean finished himself off with reasonable ease, catching the majority of his cum in the boxers he never bothered to remove. Since he was still between Castiel's knees this was a good thing. He didn’t want to deal with the hassle of cleaning the mess off the bedside.

Dean closed his eyes for a moment, just a moment, to allow the feeling of post-cum wash over him. When he re-opened his lids there was Castiel, staring him down with a teasing smirk on his face.

"Dean." He mumbled, his voice rough from holding his moans in.

Well shit, Cas was definitely hotter with that grumble to his words. Dean would have to remember this later, maybe make him read something after sex just to hear it for longer. "Yeah Cas?" Dean uttered, his own voice hoarser than before.

"Come here."

Dean didn't need to be told twice, and even though his boxers were uncomfortable at this point he didn't care and crawled up onto the bed, his hips moving to the place between Castiel's knees. As if on reaction Castiel moved his knees to hold Dean in place as he leaned forward and kissed him gently, emotion filled and teasing. Dean loved it; a little too much. It wasn't hard to lose himself in those lips, their hot press and the breath that came with them. The small sounds that Cas made as Dean allowed himself to run his hands over Castiel's back and inadvertently stroking the angel wings inked onto the skin there. Apparently Castiel had a sensitive back and Dean would remember that for later endeavours.

It was only until Dean's phone went off that they broke away from each other with a slick pop and regret at having to leave each other's bodies for even a moment. They'd deal though as when Dean got up and grabbed his phone it was actually Layla and that might be important.

"Hello Layla." Dean greeted, watching as Castiel's naked ass stood up and started towards the bathroom;  presumably to take a shower (that Dean would totally join).

"Good morning Dean! I'm just reminding you that Castiel's cast is coming off today."

"Yeah I remember." Apparently Dean had reacted a little too fast for Layla because the conversation went from average casual to teasing.

"Got somewhere to be Dean? Someone to _do?"_

If Dean had a drink he would have spit it out, luckily he didn't and instead he gaped and tried to cover up the little indignant sound he made. "What? No."

That so didn't help as Layla started to laugh maniacally at that. "Sure Mr. Winchester, sure sure. Go make him happy." She teased, totally unabashed and totally embarrassing Dean in the process. With that she hung up and allowed Dean to return his attention to the fact that there was water running in the bathroom.

Grabbing casual clothing Dean placed them on the bed before stripping his boxers and throwing them into the pile of dirty clothing in the room. Heading over into the bathroom he was graced with the bare ass of Cas as he stepped into the shower, a plastic bag over the cast. Damn that cast was a huge problem; thank God that Cas was getting it off today otherwise life for them would be complicated... well it was already complicated.

Jumping into the warm water Dean realized how freaking small the shower was, barely fitting the both of them. Dean checked Shower Sex off of his list of things to do in this apartment, and put it onto the '111 Things to do Before I Die' list because there was no way legs could properly move in this ceramic tub.

Instead of doing anything involving pressing bodies together Dean settled for washing himself and watching Cas as he tried to reach his back with his free hand. Because of the yoga Castiel was rather flexible but still couldn't reach the side of his back that was closest to the broken arm because of that freaking cast. Dean thought it was funny at first, until Castiel let out a rather loud sigh in aggravation showing Dean that this wasn't a joke and that it was actually pissing Castiel off. Letting out a little huff Dean reached between the other man's arm and chest with his palm up.

Castiel, for his part, looked completely confused as he turned his water soaked head towards Dean. Shit, Dean thought that Castiel's eyes were bright before but in this lighting with all these neutral colors surrounding them and that god damn dark hair those pools of cerulean seemed to scream 'unforgettable'. Castiel watched Dean's face and frowned slightly to himself as if Dean was trying to ask for a cupcake or some shit.

Letting out a breath of air in exasperation Dean elaborated without being prompted; "I can wash your back for you Cas. It's not a problem."

There was a silence as Cas thought this over as if Dean didn't just have Castiel's dick in his mouth five minutes ago. Finally Castiel nodded and poured some soap into Dean's hand; "Thank you Dean." He whispered as he watched the hand retract. Dean just hummed in response and started to lather the liquid all over Casitel's shoulder and lower torso.

It was odd to wash another male's body, the body of an angel; because that's what it felt like. It felt like Dean wasn't cleaning skin but instead those large black wings that stretched over skin, etched there by ink and needle. Instead of just focusing on one side Dean allowed his hand to wander all over his partner's back, his fingers tracing the dark lines that spiderwebbed out into feathers. Close up, even in this faint light, Dean could see the small details, how the wings were almost like pen strokes, thick at the beginning and getting thinner at the end with small lines poking out of those to create the effect of actual wings.

Dean didn't realize that he was taking too much time just staring until Castiel began to fidget under his fingertips. "Is everything okay Dean?"

"What? Oh- yeah." Dean snapped out of his revery almost immediately as Castiel's voice cut through his thought process. Suddenly feeling the need to explain himself he cleared his throat and continued to run his hands over Castiel's back; his thumb caressing the tips of the wings. "They're just so perfect for you...." Dean wasn't looking at Castiel's face but he knew the other man well enough to feel the small smile forming on his lips when Dean said that.

"Thank you Dean."

"Anytime Cas."

* * *

It only took thirty minutes for them to get ready for their day, Dean having to remind himself of disgusting things to keep it in his pants as he and Cas both dried off and dressed in the same room. When they finally did remove themselves from the bedroom and into the living room Zepp was patiently waiting by the door for them to take her out. Since they barely had any time they ended up just walking her, Cas quickly taking her back upstairs while Dean moved the impala into the alley behind the complex. Once Castiel came back down he jumped into the car and they were off to the hospital to get the cast removed.

Layla was already there, taking different hours on this day so that she was there for Castiel's appointment. It was a pretty simple deal and would have been gone perfectly fine if Layla wasn't giggling and grinning like a mad idiot at Dean and Cas whenever she thought they weren't looking.

Finally when the doctor was just going over basic physical therapy techniques Dean had just enough of the giggles and pulled Layla out into the hall, his stature changed; becoming slightly more aggressive. "What the hell is so funny Layla?"

That didn't help his case at all as Layla just ended up giggling madly. "I just find you two pretty adorable." Dude, they were two grown men, how was that even remotely cute?

"How is that even possible?" Dean sighed, raising a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

What Layla said next he honestly wasn't expecting. "You two, you keep looking at each other when the other isn't looking and because neither of you notice the other, you've been doing it constantly. I'm surprised that Doctor Tran hasn't mentioned anything yet."

Dean knew Doctor Linda Tran from personal experiences of breaking appendages. She was a fiery Asian that didn't take shit from anyone and would always brag about how her son was going to be President one day. Dean didn't doubt it with a mother like Linda Tran. So when Layla mentioned Doctor Tran holding back any comments Dean was pretty shocked... at first and then he realized something.

Son of a bitch.

Completely ignoring Layla Dean opened the small clinic room door and saw exactly what he was fearful of; Doctor Tran towering over Castiel as she glared, "Dean Winchester is a good man and-" Doctor Tran and Castiel both simultaneously turned towards Dean, Doctor Tran looking more murderous while Castiel tried to hide the terror on his face. Dean knew that look, it was the look of a man trapped under the rage of a 5'1" mother who's protective streak knew no bounds. It was Dean's job to go rushing in and saving Castiel's ass and that's exactly what he was going to do.

"Doctor Tran I need to take Castiel out to eat so if we could hurry this up that'd be great." The looks he received from both parties was nothing short of shock.

"You're taking me out?" Castiel squawked in disbelief.

"You guys are actually dating?" Doctor Tran barked, leaning away from Castiel to place a hand on her hip and glare at Dean.

Whoops.

Dean wasn't even sure if they were dating, and Castiel seemed to have the same thought process because they turned to each other at the same time but it was Dean who spoke up first. "Are we dating now?"

Castiel seemed to think on the subject, longer than needed (Dean was about 96% sure he was just doing it to fuck with Dean) before he gave a curt nod. "I believe that'd be the best option for us, yes."

"So we're dating?" Dean was a little thick skulled on this one, just um... Castiel being his boyfriend was a weird idea. Not because they didn't already act like a married couple but because Dean never expected this to actually happen. Dean always believed Castiel would leave, or wouldn't be interested. But that little spark in Castiel's eyes seemed a little too bright to just be a loan.

"Yes Dean, we're dating."

Dean totally didn't mean to beam like an idiot, he really didn't but it still happened, his face crinkled and his eyes became almost beady as the laugh lines around them deepened. Dean hadn't grinned like this in a long time, years even and it felt so good his face screamed for him to stop but he just couldn't. His grin seemed to corrupt Castiel's face because it wasn't long until he was grinning like an idiot as well and they were just being idiots together; completely ignoring the world around them as they just stared at each other. Oh yeah, tonight was going to be fun.

Dean was so preoccupied with thoughts of what was going to happen and how Castiel's face was possibly the best thing to see that he didn't hear Layla pulling out her phone and call someone until it was too late.

"Hello Gabriel!" She sang into the phone; causing both Dean and Castiel to whip their heads around to look at her. "You'll never guess what happened!"

Dean made a move to get the phone away from Layla but she danced out of his grip; how did she even have Gabriel's number?

Layla continued to dance around the room, dodging every grab Dean made at her phone. "Yep! I just heard it from their own lips! They're officially dating! Go tell everyone! Make a mass text or a Facebook status or something; just do it!" She giggled manically as she managed to dodge Dean's final attempts of getting the phone before she twirled out of the room as she chirped out a "Have fun guys!" That little conniving nurse!

Dean turned to look at Cas than seeing embarrassment tint his... boyfriend's face. Oh god this was going to take some time to get used to.

Or that's what Dean thought; but as it turned out both Dean and Castiel had been practicing the roles of boyfriends since week one. Instead of taking Cas out somewhere nice Cas simply demanded that they go to a burger joint and grab some ice cream afterwards. It had been nice for awhile, hearing those content sounds as Cas buried his face into the meal. Okay maybe that was an exaggeration but Cas sure as hell made some sinful sounds at that quarter pounder when he dug into it and Dean had to honestly think of Bobby in a speedo to control himself from jumping across the table when Cas decided it'd be a great idea to tease Dean with every sexual innuendo in the book.  

Their relationship wasn't one sided as Dean had perceived beforehand, because once they went to the ice cream shop a couple blocks down from the burger store an...incident happened. Dean had been teasing Castiel back for what had happened in the restaurant by basically licking the ice cream cone he had in the most obscene ways he could think of and Castiel's bright blues seemed to be locked on Dean's lips like a homing beacon. Well until Castiel actually needed a breather, finishing his ice cream he excused himself for a cigarette. Leaving the ice cream parlor he rounded outside of the place and stood in front of the large glass windows. Dean, being so concentrated on exactly what he was positive was going to happen later that night didn't notice the attractive man taking a seat opposite of him until the man cleared his throat; causing Dean to look over.

"Can I help you?" Dean growled defensively, disliking the look the man was giving him. Sure he was attractive, he was actually Dean's type when Dean had been bisexual and not Casexual. His hair was smoothed easily to the side but was messed up in the front like he finally got out of work and he had dark blue eyes (that were more like pond water compared to Castiel's eyes). Sure he was attractive to the average human but to Dean he couldn't hold a candle to Cas; not now, not ever.

The man obviously didn't know this as he decided to blatantly flirt with Dean. "By the way you're handling your ice cream I say you could."

Whoa, level freak here. Dean immediately felt two things; uncomfortable and dirty. Looking from the corner of his eyes he could see that Cas was no longer by the window, maybe he moved his smoking area, Dean had no idea. Turning back to the man Dean glared, "Not interested asshat."

That seemed to take the man by surprise but he regained composer fast. "No need to be rude with the way you're blowing your ice cream I just assumed-" whatever he was about to say died on his lips the very moment Castiel's form appeared at the table; his shoulders squared.

"You assumed wrong."

Dean hadn't heard Castiel's voice this spitefully cold in a long time, not since that cultist Lisa Braeden. The man seemed to take Castiel's demeanor in, the squared shoulders and glare like laser beams in before standing up. Jesus, it was like watching two pack leaders duke it out and Dean had no idea why he thought of that as the proper analogy. For whatever reason Dean spent too much time thinking on it and not actually listening to what was actually happening. The man said something, apparently along the lines of "you don't look so big, I bet I could take you down." Sure the man was a good inch or two over Cas but Dean knew Cas and in all honesty he wanted to laugh at that. He would have, if what Cas said next hadn't triggered the biggest case of blue balls to ever grace Dean's lower region.

"Oh will you, _boy?"_  There was no other way to explain that sentence other than feral, and fiercely protective. The man opened his mouth to say something but at this point in time Dean's mind wanted one thing and one thing only. So standing up he got between Cas and that man and looked at Cas, "Babe, let's just go home." Dean was never one to end fights, well normally, but with family, with Cas there was no way he was letting Cas get hurt again... Even if that man really needed a good kick in the ass.

Cas looked from Dean to the man and back before giving a curt nod of approval. "Let's." he growled out, actually reaching out and hooking a few fingers into Dean's jean belt loops as they made their way to the door. Well, this was a side of Cas Dean had never experienced before; apparently he had his own protective streak... that was completely hot.

As they drove down the road Cas opened the window, lighting yet another cigarette as his eyes never left Dean. Dean could feel those blue orbs on his person but made no attempt to change it. It was funny, to Dean at least, that he would hate this feeling with anyone else, but with Cas he was okay with being dissected because Cas had, for some unknown reason, picked Dean out of all people.

Freaking Agent Dean Winchester.

It blew Dean's mind in all honesty, that this god would pick him; an average government grunt as his object of protection. But hell, Dean wasn't going to look a gifted horse in the mouth.

But then again, maybe he'd just poke a little... "So Cas," he started knowing Cas was already paying attention. "Was that a protective streak back there or are you just normally like that?" Dean knew the latter wasn't even possible. Castiel used to be close to emotional level of a machine but as he started to hang out more around Dean and Sam more emotions started to show through and none of them happened to be violent. So this obviously had to be something with Dean...right? He wasn't making this up, right?

Castiel took another drag of his cigarette before getting comfortable in the leather seating. "It might have been."

Dean smirked; Cas was horrible at evasion. "What exactly?" Dean wasn't going to let this go and Cas knew it. So he let out a sigh, allowing his blue eyes to leave Dean's face and move towards the road in front of them. "I might have been slightly more protective of you around that assbutt."

Dean almost swerved off the road from laughing too hard at that. "Assbutt? Really Cas, really?" Castiel's face gained a light pink color as he shrugged, his eyes flitting from Dean to the passenger window.

"It just came out." He grumbled, slightly deflated at Dean's laughing. Good for Cas that they had just hit a red light because Dean now was able to reach over and grab Castiel's shirt. Pulling him closer Dean didn't even bother trying to be nice and kissed him square on the lips, his smile still on his gracing his features.

They sat the whole red light never leaving each other, Dean's hand moving up to cup Castiel's face as Cas held the lit cigarette out the window and kissed back with force. There was no doubt in Dean's mind that with that guy at the ice cream parlor Castiel had decided to show his own defensive habits. And with the way Cas was dominating Dean's mouth, Dean didn't mind one bit.

However they couldn't enjoy the contact much longer because the driver behind them laid on the horn the moment the light turned green; maybe they saw the two kissing... Dean didn't know nor really care as he took off down the road, grinning like an idiot.

* * *

It only took Dean about eight minutes to get them home and luckily when he did there was a perfect parking spot right by the front entrance (somewhere Dean barely ever parked). They both quickly removed themselves from the car and made their way to the front door. It was a slow ascent to their floor as they were trapped in the elevator with an elderly woman whose maternal instinct was to watch them both like a hawk. Luckily she was getting off on the floor above theirs. They walked down the hallway in silence; both in thought. It wasn't long until they reached the apartment and noticed something was off.

"Where the fuck is Zepp?" Dean roared, searching the bedroom as Cas checked out the kitchen. Sammy wasn't working this weekend so there would be no reason for him to take her unless-

"Dean. She's with Sam." Castiel's voice became louder as he draw closer; exiting the kitchen holding a piece of paper and box of condoms atop of a plastic covered pie. Jesus Christ Sammy. Dean walked the couple of steps to get to Cas and grabbed the letter Cas was holding out to him before reading.

Dean,  
Way to answer the phone Dean.   
Gabriel called about an hour ago telling me that you and Cas are finally dating. Took long enough man. Anyway I took the liberty of taking Zepp off your hands for the weekend. I'll talk to you later.   
-Sam  
P.s. I left you a 'Dean Winchester Survival Kit' don't say I never did anything for you, I'm emotionally compromised right now.

Dean looked up from the letter towards Castiel, who was watching Dean's face intently. "I uh- guess we have the place to ourselves for the rest of the weekend."

Cas smirked at that. "It seems so."

 

* * *

The rest of the night was theirs; dedicated to the worship of each other's bodies. Covering the sacred expanse of skin with sinful kisses and gentle touches. Grazing soft spots until moans and hot breath were all that was heard, like some sort of gospel hymn; with both members grabbing onto the twisted up sheets under them like it was their only chance at redemption.

This night of whispered psalms would forever go down in Dean's memories as one of the best nights of his life; even when he would be on his death bed, he was sure of it. With the feeling of Castiel running his hands over Dean's back, kissing every vertebrae and nibbling gently at his neck. With Castiel's fingers entering Dean and preparing him (as it turned out Castiel's protective streak had never left after their talk in the car). It also appeared that it would never leave, not as Castiel pushed in gently and rocked his body back and forth, muttering 'mine' over and over again as the speed picked up. Dean wouldn't have it any other way, not as his warmth and Castiel's were confused in the mess and they became one. There was something so perfect about knowing that Cas had dubbed Dean his, to Dean at least. It was such a filling and warming feeling to realize that he had found a home, not one that he had to buy or that was a hand-me-down but something he had somehow earned.

Castiel was his home, his sanctuary of sorts, someone who he could curl around and cuddle with and kiss on the temple and not be judged because Dean Winchester was in love. And always would be; even three years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I hope no one feels uncomfortable with Dean and Cas being a little possessive of each other. I wouldn't consider it dysfunctional, or maybe I should, but either way it just seems their canon so I did it. I mean it's not like they're going to doubt each other's love, they just happen to be very protective of the one thing in their lives that they both really /really/ wanted you know? Ok one more chapter (the Epilogue ;D)


	11. Chapter 11, Time for a Wedding!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue!

Dean's mouth moved lazily with Castiel's as the sun rose, waking them and the city alike. Mornings like this were what Dean held close to his heart, the mornings they'd lay naked, pressing their warm bodies together to keep the heat. It's been three years and a month since they first met, almost three years since Cas moved in, and ten months since Dean proposed to Cas; Cas saying yes of course.

Dean smiled to himself as Cas rolled over on his chest, allowing the black wings to peak over the covers as he did so. Dean's calloused fingers reached out and gently caressed the freshly done ink. Cas had a month ago gotten the wings touched up; with some modifications. Well, just one modification in all honesty. Dean's fingertips traced down the side of the feathers till he reached the newest addition to the wings, one fallen feather. This feather had cursive curled around it, nothing extreme like a quote or anything but instead two little words, two little words that held unmeasurable meaning.

 **Dean Winchester.**  That was all they read but Dean knew well enough this was something of astronomical meaning. Cas had written Dean onto his soul and at first Dean had been furious; screaming how it was bad luck and it was stupid to get his name on it even if they were going to get married. Dean had yelled loud enough his face had turned red from fury and he had been shaking. Cas, being the beautiful human he was, had walked over to Dean; grabbing his shirt collar and pushing him against the wall. Dean would have been frightened (and probably aroused) if this didn't happen as often as it did.

"Dean Winchester." Cas had growled out, looking up into Dean's eyes as he held him against the wall, "the only way this would even be remotely jinxed is if you make it so. So please stow your shit and enjoy the fact of what I just paid $100 for."

And from that day on, Dean did just that; tracing it whenever he had the chance, kissing it when Cas was sleeping or still in his morning drone. Dean had wanted to do something along those lines ever since Cas broke the barrier. But Dean needed some way to show Cas that he felt the same way and when he had ever so vaguely brought it up Cas had shot down the idea, telling him that the fact Dean had given him Mary's wedding ring was enough... and maybe it was.

Dean's mind was wondering when Castiel spoke up that morning; all grumbly and drowsy, "What time is it?" Dean reached over and grabbed his phone, staring down the time before placing the piece of metal down and resting back against Cas.

"5:40."

Castiel hummed at that and cuddled closer, "We have 20 minutes before Sam wakes up."

It was true, Sam would be waking up at six to leave at seven to go grab the tuxes and he'd be around to get their asses in gear at around eight. Today was a big day after all, they were getting married.

"True, but Sammy does love being early." Dean mused, planting his face into Castiel's hair and breathing him in. Cas just grumbled at that and kissed Dean's collarbone before commenting, "Well the place doesn't open till 7:30 so I believe we will be safe until than."

Dean snorted and placed a gentle kiss on Castiel's hairline around his ear. "Yeah but this is Sammy's second wedding. He's going to be a bigger bridezilla." Castiel didn't comment at that, probably because it was true. Sam, Jess, Charlie, Anna and Becky had all teamed together to form their wedding; with the dangerous help of Gabriel of course. As a team they were indestructible, however everyone had to admit that Sam was the worst of them all. Only taking Dean and Castiel's opinions if he had to. Like the tuxes; Dean had been all for wearing black tuxes but Sam had been hell bent on getting a white tux for Dean despite his sexual endeavors. "Dude Sam I'm not a virgin! I shouldn't be wearing white!"

"Oh gross Dean! I know that! Don't remind me! Oh god!"

"Oh grow up you big baby."

But Sam didn't care, he said it'd go well with the fact he had planned a lighter colored wedding since it was spring. Dean had rolled his eyes at that but allowed it once Sam threw him a classic Sam Winchester puppy dog face.

Dean wasn't the only one who had problems with Sam's control over the wedding. When Cas asked what the color scheme was going to be and Sam had said yellow and Cas had almost blew a gasket. There was no way in Castiel's mind they were going to do a white and yellow wedding. So Sam, challenging Castiel (bad idea), asked him what color would go better. Cas didn't even miss a beat as he replied with a quick, "Lilac!" And just like that, their wedding color scheme went from yellow and white to pastel purple and white. Sam never challenged Cas again (for understandable reasons) but he really didn't need to, Cas pretty much agreed with everything that Sam brought to the table.

Dean sighed softly, he honestly had no idea how this wedding was going to go, all he knew was that at some point, probably when he was drunk, he had been very vehement about singing a song during the ceremony and Sam had agreed. So now Dean dug himself into a hole, having to sing to a crowd of more than fifty people. Great.

Rolling over Dean noticed his phone lighting up just before the alarm went off; blasting Rush's song 'Freewill'. Dean was having none of that shit and reached over, turning the damn thing off before turning back towards Cas. Cas, being a horrible morning person ever since they started to share a bed, glared from the covers towards Dean's phone. "Does this mean we have to get up?"

Dean hummed as he leaned over to place a kiss on Castiel's forehead before removing the covers and padding towards the bathroom. "And you'll get up if you want shower time." It was a playful threat but Cas still peaked his eyes over the blankets to watch Dean. "Tell me when the water is warm."

"Will do."

* * *

Once out of the shower they trudged their way into the kitchen; Cas starting the coffee as Dean fed Zepp. Zepp, who was begrudgingly getting older. Dean was convinced that was why Cas only went running in the mornings three times a week and not the old six days. They still visited the gym though, and Cas hated it. The amount of times Cas and Dean had been hit on was starting to get a little ridiculous; three years after they started going together. One night, after one of the trainers couldn't get their hands off of Castiel's biceps, Dean had gone into a rage and told him they'd have to get a house and just have all the gym equipment downstairs. Cas, of course, made a comment about him not being the only protective one. Dean was allowed to fuck Cas into the bed that night, running his hands over the wings and leaving slight red trails all over them from when he had climaxed.

Just as Dean was able to pour himself a cup of coffee there was a knock at the front door.

Son of a bitch; he hadn't even had the time to get a smoke in before Sammy came over. But he still answered it and it was Sam, giving Dean a bitch face at the fact he was only wearing boxers. But hey, Dean would be wearing less if he wasn't expecting company. Rubbing the back of his head and yawning Dean walked back into the kitchen, stretching slightly as Sam followed like a puppy.

Cas was in the process of sugaring up his coffee when he noticed the behemoth body trailing behind Dean, "Good morning Sam." He called, taking a sip of his coffee, already wearing a white muscle-t and pants. If this had been anyone else, if it wasn't Sammy, Dean would have felt uncomfortable having them see Castiel's back. It was still a coveted sight among friends but Sam had been deemed worthy of the sight a year and a half ago. Dean and Cas had been in a fight, a bad one, dealing with an old flame of Dean's; freaking Cassie Robinson. Nothing had happened, there had been no sexual tension, just harsh feelings from Dean. However, the bad move was from Dean as he forgot to mention to Cas that he was going to go out to lunch with her. As luck would have it one of their co workers had gone to the same place and ran to the office to tell Cas. Needless to say, Cas was pissed and heart broken.

Gabriel had been out of town, Anna had moved down to Louisiana and Samandriel was still studying in New Jersey at the time. He had no one to turn to as Charlie was on her honeymoon so he ended up meeting Sam at some bar; drowning his sorrows with the big moose-human after the huge fight he and Dean had.

God bless Sam though, as embarrassing as it was for Dean, Sam had shown Cas the texts of that day.

'Going to meet with Cassie,  
 maybe get some closure.'

'Dude, she's getting married   
to this guy from Jackson,   
apparently a tattoo artist.   
She said she'd hook me up.'

'You think Cas would want to   
go get one from him? His art   
is awesome.'

Sam went on to explain that the only reason Dean hadn't brought Cas was because of Cassie's hardcore Catholic beliefs in homosexuals and he didn't want to bring Cas into that hornets nest. Cas had come home soon after that, and had loved Dean in ways he had never experienced before. They had kissed and made up and the next week they went over to Sam's place to use his reasonably new pool. It was then that Cas was comfortable taking off his shirt to reveal the markings of his soul. Sam had taken in the markings with the utmost respect, not staring but making a comment about their beauty. Dean had been proud Cas and had wanted to comment but then little miss Mary Winchester ran out of the house, effectively falling on her face and activating Dean's uncle mode.

Mary, Dean's niece, was the cutest ball of sunshine to grace the planet. She had her mother's hair but Sam's facial features, and puppy dog eyes. Men were going to die and get their souls eaten by her when she was at dating age; Dean just knew it.

"Dean you really need to get dressed." Sam barked; pulling Dean out of his revery.

"What? Oh yeah. Give me a minute."

"No shit." Sam rolled his eyes, pulling out his Starbucks tumbler. Jesus Sam was such a woman sometimes. Dean shook his head and downed the rest of his cup before patting Sam on the back as he passed. "Whatever you say Samantha." Dean didn't have to look behind him to know Sam was throwing him a grade A bitch face. Dean could just sense these things.

It took Dean and Cas only a few minutes to get dressed, what with the fact they were only throwing on casual clothing since the wedding wasn't until six that night. But still they had a lot to do, a lot, and Sam was stressing out about it, even ruffling up his luscious locks. So both agents hurried up for the concerned lawyer; piling themselves into Baby as Sam got into his dad car before all eight wheels hit the road. Sam called Cas when they were about five minutes towards Jesse's to tell them that he had to run and pick up some stuff and that their job at Jesse's was to finish the table cards. Great. Dean hadn't even seen these cards, only Cas.

It only took four more minutes before they reached Jesse's and to say it was busy was an understatement. The bar was closed to the public today as this was where the reception was. This didn't explain the fact that there was a good amount of cars and people standing around.

"Isn't that Benny's?" Cas questioned, pointing towards the busted up truck. Ever since the coma incident both Benny and Cas have been more civil, talking to each other with no rude comments or snark remarks. It was nice to have them finally get along.

Dean nodded to Castiel's question as he pulled in between the truck and a cherry red '65 convertible. Letting out a low whistle Dean checked out the mustang, having a vague feeling about who's car it was. This theory was verified the moment a very healthy, very happy Anna burst out of the Bar; attaching herself to Cas.

"My little brother is going to get married! I'm so proud!" She giggled, placing a large kiss on his temple before opening her arm for Dean to come in and join the hug, which he did. She might be a whopping five inches shorter than Dean but she had the strength of a fucking tiger as she squeezed the life out of Dean and Cas alike.

"Anna, I won't be able to get married if you suffocate us." Cas warned, flailing his arms uselessly at his side. Luckily for both this simple sentence released them from her vice grip. Letting go of them she looked back and forth between the two and beamed, her face a total ray of sunshine. If anyone else was witnessing this they'd think she was the one getting married and not her little brother.

"Come on you two! We have a lot of work to do!" She crowed happily as she took their hands and dragged them into the bar. The place was packed, Benny, Becky (with her boyfriend Chuck), Gabriel, Pamela, Ash and a handful of others. Despite the fact the place was packed with more than a dozen people it seemed spacious; all the regular beaten beer tables covered in fresh white linen, leading to one large long table where Dean suspected he'd have to sit. Great, he hated being the center of attention (unless it was with Cas, but that was different). Cas seemed to pick up on the emotion Dean was giving off because he reached up and kissed him below the earlobe; a sort of system of being there they had established.

"Lets go and get those table cards done, alright?"

"Alright."

* * *

They finished the cards in 20 minutes, and Dean had to say; he liked them. At first he thought they were stupid and horribly revealing as they had to be stamped with black wings in the corner. When Dean had voiced this opinion Cas had just shaken his head and said that he prefered them with the wings, making them more personal.

Dean had shut up at that and just continued to stamp them as Cas used his calligraphy skills to write the numbers (as it turns out, calligraphy was something taught in the Novak house). With both working on them and not being distracted they were able to move onto the next task; the wedding favors.

Their wedding favors had been rather simple but very them; cotton white bags of coffee beans. Of course, Sam and Charlie had bitched and moaned about them being 'too plain' and had eventually won over the engaged couple by coming to an agreement. That they had to take lilac colored paint and stamp D/C on them. Dean had wanted to shoot himself at that but Sam's puppy dog face; magnified by Charlie's puppy dog face had won out.

So, taking the dozens of cotton bags out into the parking lot they set about stamping each other's letters onto them. This took an hour and by that time Sam had arrived carrying the flowers into the bar and not even talking to Dean. Good for him because Dean turned to Cas at that and shook his head, "We're the gay ones but he's the one that's making this ten times worse... Want to elope?"

Castiel snorted at that and shook his head; his lips pulling up at the corners. "You know we can't Dean, we've invested too much money into this and Sam would hunt us down anyway." Dean nodded at that, yeah that was true.

"Damn."

Castiel's smile widened at that and he placed the stamp down; wiping the excess paint onto his jeans (Dean's jeans) before reaching over and pulling Dean's head towards his for a kiss. Oh Dean wasn't going to miss any chance to kiss Cas, so his mouth met with Castiel's happily, soaking up the taste of the other man before a shadow set over them.

"You guys aren't going to go for a home run at the altar are you?"

Oh shit, Dean looked up to see Ellen standing there; hands on her hips and looking completely unamused. Sam totally sent her because Dean was still terrified of the woman, despite knowing her since he was a kid. "No ma'am."

She nodded curtly at that, hand still on her hips. "Well, ya boys better get done with this soon. We got a lot of other things to get done and I don't need you two macking it up on the job; wait for tonight." She rolled her eyes and gave them both a cold stare before walking back into the bar. Well, Dean managed to get in one more kiss before Cas was determined to finish the coffee bags.

The rest of the day passed in a flash, what with them running around and setting up the food themselves along with the table settings and everything and soon enough it was five and they had to leave each other.

"Alright!" Called Anna at five, clapping her hands so she stopped everyone from doing everything. "Time to separate the grooms!" Both Dean and Cas, who had ignored Anna up until that point both looked up from where they were working on folding the last ten napkins.

"What?" Dean asked, totally not squeaking slightly at the prospect of having to leave Cas. Nope.

"You heard me." Anna said with a smile at Dean, giving Sam a pointed look since he was the one that would have to drag Dean away from Cas.

Cas didn't have any problems as he stood up and looked over to his best man, Gabriel. Before walking over, he turned to Dean and smiled gently, giving him a gentle kiss (which received several wolf whistles) before he walked over to his eldest sibling, who put him in a headlock the moment he was close.

"Lets go get you all dolled up so your man can rip all your clothes off later!" Gabriel teased, grinning like a five year old when Cas blushed; probably because he knew it was true. It was Dean's turn to give the reassuring smile to Cas as he looked over at Dean for support. Yeah that was understandable; Gabriel was going to talk Castiel's ear off about this whole deal.

Once Cas was finally upstairs Sam dragged Dean towards the Impala and his own car; grabbing the tuxedos from his car and placing it into the Impala before jumping into the car with Dean. They made their way to Dean's office so that Dean could change there with no prospects of running into Cas. It was odd, or at least Dean thought so as he picked and poked at his face in the mirror, that he wasn't worried about marrying Cas. He was just a bit apprehensive about the fact he'd be doing it in front of everyone. This should worry Dean, it should worry him how much Cas had changed his life, how Cas has become the only place Dean can even consider home (besides Baby) but Dean really didn't give a fuck. Sighing after noticing a new cluster of freckles by his nose he left the bathroom to see Sam leaning against one of the cubicles.

"Ready?" Sam asked, a small smile on his lips.

"Ready."

* * *

The wedding ceremony was held right in front of the reflecting pool with the Washington Monument in the background (as Sam demanded). Dean was in the place of groom, and waited at the 'altar' for Cas, who stepped out of the fucking sweetest '59 white rolls royce with his uncle.

This was the first time Dean had ever laid eyes on Castiel's uncle Balthazar as he lived in England now, but he had demanded that he would be the one to walk Cas down the aisle, so he did. But it wasn't the car that really shocked Dean, no because he had been expecting that, what he hadn't expected was how fucking gorgeous Cas was. Much like Dean, Cas was clad in a black vest and a silver/lilac tie but Dean paled in comparison. He was disorganized and awkward in his tuxedo (according to him) but Cas, Cas was a whole different breed. He was graceful and dignified as he walked down the aisle; his blue beams locked onto Dean's.

It hit Dean, the very moment that Balthazar kissed Castiel on both cheeks and took his seat that Cas coming up to stand in front of Dean, and that this was it. There was no more fun nights, there was no more looking at other people, that he wasn't going to be able to escape. For the old Dean, this would have terrified him, would have caused him to run and jump into the Impala and drive away; but not with Cas. Not with the chance at being able to keep Cas all for himself. Dean was a greedy man, greedy in the way that he needed love and not just any love, the kind of love that only Castiel could give. Dean had made his mind up years ago, and now he was just going to follow through with it.

He was going to keep his angel.

The ceremony went on like a blur, Sam as the best man for Dean, followed by Benny and Becky while on Castiel's side it was Gabriel as the best man, Samandriel as a groomsman and Charlie and Anna as bridesmaids. Dean would remember certain parts, like Gabriel mouthing to him to stop fucking grinning (which didn't happen and Dean's face felt like it was going to break), like when Dean said his own vows:

"I, Dean Winchester, take you, Castiel Novak to be my husband. I promise that no matter what happens, no matter what shi- obstacles we face, I will always be by your side. I will love you and honor you for the rest of my life and than some."

Dean would always remember Castiel saying his vows, and when the priest, Jim Murphy (the same priest that wed Dean's parents) said 'I now pronounce you Dean and Castiel Winchester. You may kiss the groom.'

Dean had kissed Cas thousands of times in their relationship for all different reasons, out of love, out of annoyance, out of pain but never, never had he kissed Cas like this before. Even their first kiss was nothing like this, this was binding, the words connected the names but the kiss connected the souls, melding them into one and sealing them like that forever.

The roar from the crowd was deafening, loud enough to break a weaker man's ear drums but for Dean and Castiel, they didn't even hear it. They were too focused on each other's breath, the way their faces were breaking into pieces and how they were finally, finally, connected in a way that the whole world could see.

* * *

Unlike most weddings, they didn't do the average 'lets leave the crowds' deal, instead they stuck it out with the crowds, being congratulated and hugged. Out of all the hugs though, Dean had to say that Mary's hug was the best. She had been the ring bearer as they didn't need a flower girl. When Dean had finally picked her up she had nearly choked him, wrapping her little arms around Dean's neck and hugging him so tightly it hurt.

"Uncle Dean!" She had shrieked happily, "Does this mean I get to call Cassie Uncle Cas now?" She was bubbling over and grinning and messing up her words like she always did whenever she was excited (something she inherited from Sam, since he was like this when he was a kid).

Dean planted a happy kiss on her temple before pulling away to nod; "You sure can sweetheart."

Mary didn't waste a second and squirmed around in Dean's arms until she was facing Cas, "Uncle Cas!" She giggled happily, "I'm happy you and Uncle Dean are married now! Now you have to come over!" She clapped her hands happily and giggled maniacally, "We have to have a tea party!" Oh Jesus, Sam was actually allowing his kid to have tea parties? Come to think of it, Sam probably instigated those tea parties; freaking Samantha.

Castiel didn’t seem to be fazed at all by the fact he was being recruited for tea parties but if he was, he hid it well. “Well of course Mary. So long as I’m not working with your uncle I will be free.” He had no idea what he just promised; Dean could see it now, like some horror story, dresses and lace and sticking up pinkies. Oh, Great.

Thankfully (or not so thankfully) Balthazar walked over that moment, “Excuse me Miss,” He started as he looked at Mary, “But may I take your uncles?” Mary seemed to take this request under consideration before giving both Dean and Cas messy little kid kisses on their cheeks. Squirming to be put down Dean finally let her go so she could scamper off to bother Bobby.

Balthazar held a hand out to Dean; “Pleasure to finally meet you, sorry the occasion has never arose before.”

Dean shook his hand and smiled, “Same to you, Balthazar.”

It only took a couple of minutes of talking to Balthazar to realize that the majority of Castiel’s vocabulary came from Balthazar… just Balthazar was more flippant with everything; especially with women and booze as Cas informed Dean later. But he was still fun to be around and very giving as he offered his villa up in Paris as a way of an apology for never being around, “Think of it as a possible place to have your Honeymoon.”

Luckily for Dean he didn’t have to explain their actual plans to Balthazar as Castiel answered, “Thank you Balthazar but we already have something set up.” Balthazar seemed in awe at this, as if it was a shock for them to have any other plans than the one he believed they’d take.

“And what’s that?”

Son of a bitch.

Dean cleared his throat, ready to explain that they were going to hop into the Impala and just spend a month or so traveling around America, how that had been a goal of Castiel's that he had told his mother. But he didn't need to, because Cas interrupted him, "We're going cross country."

This seemed to shock Balthazar, "That's nothing remotely close to romantic boys."

Dean shrugged at that, "Yeah but it's what we want to do." That attracted Balthazar's attention from Cas to Dean, staring him down as if he was reading him.

Sighing he shook his head and shrugged, "Whatever floats your boats I guess. Chao boys. I hate standing around."

Both Dean and Castiel said their goodbyes to Balthazar before mixing within the crowds. Dean had to admit, as he continued to be stopped for congratulations and hugs, that he had no idea there was this many people in his life that actually cared; that accepted him for who he was and who he loved. It wasn't until he got to Bobby, who gripped him into a tight bear hug, that it mattered. Castiel, realizing this was something way too private to be standing in on, walked over to Benny and Anna who were sharing whispers like they had a plan but Dean wasn't paying attention anymore.

Bobby, who had always been there even when he lost his wife, didn't let go of Dean; instead held him in his death grip. "I'm so proud of ya, boy. Ya done good." He relinquished his grip on Dean and patted him on the shoulder a couple times, fighting back the emotion as he tried to scowl; it wasn't working. He looked Dean dead in the eyes, his average brown eyes colored with understanding and love; something Dean wasn't really expecting. "Both ya idjits better take care of yourselves." He said, now poking Dean in the chest. "And don't go doing anything stupid."

Dean snorted at that, trying to lighten the suddenly emotional scene. "You think I actually would?"

Bobby shook his head and smiled at that, "Nah, I just have to be a hardass."  He patted Dean on the shoulder once more, squeezing gently to make sure Dean didn't move his eyes from Bobby's. "Your parents would be proud, Karen would be over the moon." Bobby tried to smile, he really did but he couldn't really help it when his eyes started to water. Realizing he was letting himself go, he dropped his hand, shoving them into his pant pockets. "I'm gonna go to Jesse's and help make sure everything is set up. Alright?"

"Yeah of course Bobby." Dean mumbled, watching as the older man, his surrogate father start towards his own car. As Dean turned away, seeing Cas laugh at something Benny said he realized that he understood Bobby's constant grumpiness, he understood his own father's vendetta against the man that killed his mother. He understood it now because he had Cas officially, Sam was blood, he had grown up taking care of the little gangly teen. But with Cas he had chosen him and if he was ever to lose him like Bobby lost Karen or how his father had lost his mother... Suddenly needing to touch Cas Dean quickened his pace, attracting Benny and Anna's attention as he came behind Cas and twirled him around, placing his lips against Castiel's without a second's warning.

Cas seemed to understand the very moment that Dean touched him what was going on. As their lips melted together Cas didn't hold back, kissing him with as much emotion as Dean needed. Placing his hands on either side of Castiel's face he held him their, ignoring the wolf whistles and whoops as they did so. With the sound barrier of noise around them Dean was able to pull away from Cas, looking directly into those sparkling pools of blue. "I love you." He muttered, only loud enough for Cas to hear.

Castiel's lips twitched at that and he gave a short nod, reaching up to grab Dean's hand and kiss his palm. "I know."

* * *

About a half an hour later both Dean and Cas made their way from the reflecting pool to the reception at Jesse's with the rest of the group trailing behind in their own cars. Unlike most weddings they didn't change, Dean and Cas just removed their jackets and threw them into the back of the car. Both pulling out cigarettes from the pack between them and using the lighter to light them.

Once they got to Jesse's Dean pocketed the lighter, having a good idea of what to do with it. Cas, despite his normal ninja abilities didn't notice the small sleight of hand; which was good for Dean. As they walked in they were greeted by yet more cheers and pats on the back. It was at this time that Dean realized it was the perfect time to slip the lighter into Castiel's back pocket. Cas wouldn't notice it for awhile, not until they sat down; which Dean had plans before that. People were mingling all around when Dean slipped away from Cas to tell Gabriel it was time. The moment he did Gabriel nodded, grabbing a microphone he had been dying to use since they brought it up from the depths of the basement.

Turning the mic on and tapping it a couple times Gabriel's voice started to come from the surrounding speakers. "Everyone, oi! Everyone!" That got the room silent immediately, and got them all staring at the same time. Dean, knowing what this was going to entail, walked into the kitchen; still hearing Gabriel as he picked up the guitar he had stashed there a week ago. "Now, groom number one, Dean, had been planning this for awhile and he said we had to do it before we get on with the celebration. I know I know, frowny faces all around. But it'll only take five minutes!" Dean snorted to himself, placing the guitar over his shoulder as he rested against the counter; his nerves kicking in. He hadn't played in front of a group this large since high school. And back than he hadn't given a shit, those people didn't stick with him, but these people mattered; they were family and friends and Cas... Cas, he was doing this for Cas. To show him how much he cared and that made it worth everything.

Stepping out of the kitchen Gabriel had already kicked a chair towards the middle of the dance floor, placing two mics there; one for the guitar and one for Dean to sing into. Well at least that'd cut down time. Taking a seat and removing the guitar strap from around his neck he looked up, some people were still standing, some were sitting, Cas was still standing so he wouldn't realize the lighter just yet. Good.

Clearing his throat he leaned forward to talk into the mic. "Hey guys." That earned him some chuckles and a small smile from Cas; so he continued. "As pretty much all of you know, Cas has an affinity for Janis Joplin..." He looked over at Cas to see his eyes widen; causing Dean to smile a little before trying to school his features. "What you guys might not know is that he got this love from his mom; who isn't with us anymore." There was some sympathetic sounds from the crowd but Dean continued. "That's why I let Sam and Cas pick out the theme, because her favorite flowers were lilacs." More sympathetic sounds. "And that's what weddings are really about right? Because we know that the... profound bond, is there but it's to show our family and friends that fact, right?" He cleared his throat before strumming slightly. "I uh, for years didn't touch a guitar but I picked it back up when I met Cas... there was one song that he actually asked me out front to play. I memorized it, I guess I knew I'd have to play it in front of you all right?" He teased, nervous. But it earned him a few laughs, so it was worth it. "So uh-" He cleared his throat again, "Here goes nothing right?"

Dean's fingers found their respective places and he started to strum, his fingers moving so automatically that he was able to look up and see Cas staring wide eyed; knowing exactly what song Dean was about to play.

_Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on!_

_Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man - yeah!_   
_An' didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can?_   
_Honey, you know I did!_   
_And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,_   
_But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough._

 _I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it,_   
_Take it!_   
_Take another little piece of my heart now, baby!_

Looking up as he continued to sing, the sound slower and more mellow than the original take by Janis. He noticed Castiel still standing there, his hands straight at his sides; unsure of how to react to this in front of a large crowd. But locking eyes with Dean, Dean knew exactly what that look was, that was the 'I love you' look. Dean had received it multiple times over their three year courtship; when Cas was sick and Dean would do anything in his power to make him feel better, even if it involved holding his head over the porcelain throne as Cas upchucked. Or that time that Dean had taken a five hour car drive just to pick up a part he needed to fix Castiel's car. Or the times that they'd just lay in bed together, Dean 'dozing' as Cas lazily counted all his freckles under his breath. In this moment Dean knew that he had made the right decision, that this is exactly what Cas needed to hear; a confession of love in front of everyone, in Dean's own personal way.

The moment, the very moment that Dean's fingers stalled the music there wasn't a sound; no one moved or coughed or anything. Gabriel didn't even say anything; which shocked Dean the most in all honesty. Suddenly feeling self conscious Dean started to fidget in his seat, moving the mics away from his mouth and guitar to stand up. In that moment Dean had looked away and when he looked back up to look back at Cas, the spot was empty.

Feeling panic strike him like lightning he stood up, receiving applause as he did so. But he wasn't listening to that, he was listening to the blood rushing past his ears. Cas. Cas. Cas. Where the fuck did he go off to?

Walking into the kitchen to put his guitar into its case he didn't expect to get bombarded by arms and lips and wild kisses; but he sure as hell recieved them. Nearly dropping his guitar from shock a strong hand reached out, grabbing the instrument and placing it onto the counter.

"Cas..." Dean breathed as his back hit hard wall, but Cas wasn't having any of it, his hands moving over Dean with force and passion, kissing him deeply. "Cas." He breathed as Castiel's warm mouth moved down from his mouth to his neck and to that spot under his ear.

"I loved it." Castiel cut in, his voice filled with something Dean hadn't been expecting. He had been expected to think Cas would love it, but in his heart there was always that doubt that he would reveal too much of his overabundant love for the other man and he'd be shunned. But apparently that was just an irrational fear for there would be no other reason for Cas to be showering Dean in rough and loving kisses otherwise.

Dean's adam's apple bobbed as he gulped, getting ready to tell Cas that they had to get back to the party; he was about to but the words of praise that spewed out of Castiel's mouth next stayed his tongue. "You did wonderful." Cas almost purred, kissing his neck and licking the skin around Dean's adam apple, leaving a cool trail of saliva behind as he continued to hum words into the skin under Dean's chin. "You know I hate surprises but that was..." He moved his mouth back down to Dean's adam's apple where he bit the skin, "Perfect."

Dean wasn't one for a total hard on during his wedding reception but the way that Cas was acting, he was going to get one; and they were in the kitchen. Bad idea. But he couldn't stop Cas, not this comet chained in a man's body. "You know..." Cas growled out, grazing his teeth over the muscles of Dean's neck; drawing out a reluctant moan from Dean. "We could just go to the car and leave. They wouldn't notice."

Trying to control his breath, Dean laughed out between gasps. "We haven't even had our first dance yet Cas." Cas paused his nippling to think about that and let out a hot puff of breath against Dean's neck. "We can have our own version of a first dance Dean." He offered, obviously starting to lose his fight.

Dean, knowing he was winning, continued, "We have a whole month and a half to ourselves Cas." Letting out an annoyed growl Cas pushed his body hard against Dean's rubbing the clothed skin perfectly together, gaining another soft groan from Dean. However, Cas was a vengeful little fucker and pulled away just after that, causing Dean's body to cry out for the heat once more.

"Well, if you see it that way Dean." He teased, fixing his shirt, trying to not show how much he enjoyed being a cocktease. "I guess I best get out there." Reaching for the door he turned towards Dean, a downright devious grin sneaking onto his face. "But tonight; you ass up. That's an order Dean."With that Cas left, leaving Dean with the worst case of blue balls imaginable.

That bastard.

It took a good minute of trying to think of things to calm down the party that was happening in his pants but once he pictured Bobby in a speedo he was pretty much set for the rest of the night and than some. Ew again. Walking out of the kitchen and into the room he noticed the majority of people were sitting; all but the wedding party. Taking a deep breath he walked over to where they stood, placing a hand on the small of Castiel's back once he reached them.

Gabriel honed in on Dean almost immediately and therefore called everyone's attention to it. Greedily turning on the microphone he started, "Now everyone, groom number one is finally back from his little search for solitude so we can start the first dance!" The group all turned their heads towards Dean, Sam's bitch face sticking out of the crowd the most. Ugh; great. Of course Gabriel ignored that and went on announcing like this was a game show of some kind. "So can groom one and groom two please make their way to the dance floor before I die?"

Rolling his eyes, Dean held a hand out to Cas, smiling teasingly as he did so. Cas, who was certain he had won this night took Dean's larger hand and they started their way onto the clearing between their friends. It was awkward at first, Dean hadn't danced formally in years, expect that one time he had taken Cas to China Town for a block party. But still he was worried, that was until Gabriel started the music. It had been a hard call for Dean and Cas, a tie between Led Zeppelin and CCR. But Led Zeppelin won out in the end and All of My Love started to play.

 _Should I fall out of love, my fire in the light;_   
_To chase a feather in the wind?_   
_Within the glow that weaves a cloak of delight,_   
_There moves a thread that has no end._

 _For many hours and days that pass ever soon,_   
_The tides have caused the flame to dim._   
_At last the arm is straight, the hand to the loom;_   
_Is this to end or it just begin?_

 _All of my love,_   
_All of my love,_   
_All of my love to you now._

The guests watched the newly weds in silence as they moved around the dance floor. Later in life, when they got Charlie and Becky very very drunk they'd learn that they looked like one giant game of cat and mouse; like some kind of animal stand off where both parties were in love. Of course, they'd learn that much later, after many life changes and for now, it was only them on the dance floor. It was only Dean's arm wrapped around Castiel's waist as Castiel's arm draped over Dean's neck and shoulders and that was it. They had done the average and very stereotypical dancing for the first section of the song, but as soon as the pace picked up they dropped their hands and actually started to get into it.

This was the part that guests would remember, the actual smooth and graceful pulls and pushes and the coming together of bodies before sweeping away. It wasn't any fancy footwork, they didn't go to a class, they just... explained their relationship with their movements. The constant push and pull of life and the forces that pushed them back together; like they were indestructible force that the world just couldn't break. As the song slowed down, so did they, conveying the last couple years of their lives together. The smooth transition from boyfriends to fiancés and finally to husbands. As the song ended they stepped away from each other, never breaking eye contact; not until Dean leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss atop of Castiel's constantly wild hair.

Once again the guests, who liked to hold their breath, cheered wildly the moment Dean removed his lips from Castiel's brow; making both grooms smile. Returning to the wedding party table they sat down, holding hands under the table; so no one would know the true level of gooshy they were.

Now that they were seated it was time for the speeches. Thankfully Sammy was going first so Gabriel didn't get a chance to make fun of the dance... yet.

Sammy, who was so sure about the wedding seemed a little nervous about the speech as he stood up and took the mic. However when he did stand up there was a little cheer from one of the nearby tables. "Yay Daddy!" Good old Mary; Dean totally didn't chuckle at that.

Mary's shoutout seemed to fill Sam with the confidence he needed and he looked over the crowd. "Good evening everyone." He started, beaming like a puppy dog from under his brown locks; he cleared his throat and turned to Dean and Cas, "Alright, well. Dean has practically raised me. That's no joke, we had a rough childhood and Dean was the one that pushed me to do everything. When I wanted to do something for school, he was the one that paid for it. Like my senior trip to Kansas City or even prom for that matter. He drove me by the way, he wouldn't let me take the Impala." Laughs. "But Dean's always had my back, he's always made sure that _I_ was happy, completely bypassing his own interests to take care of me. That's why, when Dean came to me three years ago for help, I was shocked. Dean needed my help? It was no surprise however when I found out what it was about, you know, a chick flick moment." The crowd laughs again. "You see, Dean had a friend who had told Dean that he could see his soul but not his heart. It was Cas." Sam licked his lips, his voice getting softer but still audible thanks to the microphone. "I knew that very moment that this wasn't any average partnership. Dean always ran away from moments like that and to actually think back on it and than _call_ me was a completely new beast. Of course, being a loving little brother, I didn't tell him what it meant." Crowd laughs again. "But he figured it out months later." He turned to give Dean a smile, "Good for you Dean."

Dean was really contemplating if Sam was just going insane or if he actually forgot that there was a knife barely an inch away from Dean's hand. He probably thought he was safe with everyone staring at him; he was right. Turning back to the crowd Sam smiled, "You see, the soul is who we are, the characteristics that make you who you are while the heart is a much more complex thing. The heart is something that protects what we hold dear." The crowd awes now, oh great. Poor Gabriel, Sam was going to be a hard act to follow and Sam still went on. "And I watched my brother, the man I know better than myself, slowly finding room in his heart for this other human being." He sighed and looked at Dean, his eyes so soft and understanding that Dean dropped the idea of shanking him. "Dean, you deserve this happiness, you deserve Cas and I wish many years of happiness on you both."

With that he gave a nod to the guest tables, receiving overzealous claps and a "You rock Daddy!" from Mary.

Sam handed over the mic to Dean to give to Gabriel and as he did he patted him on the back, whispering quietly so only Dean could hear. "I'm being serious Dean. You deserve this. That's why I was so controlling of your wedding. Because I know you'd probably just want to be married in the Impala otherwise."

"Fuck you." Dean growled to Sam before handing the mic over to Gabriel as he stood up. Ok, Sam was completely right about that, but he didn't need to admit it.

Turning his attention towards Gabriel he noticed how Gabriel was completely calm, like Sam's speech was nothing to contend with. This shocked and intrigued Dean at the same time. Gabriel smiled at the crowd, easy and lax. "Well, Sam pretty much stole my speech; remind me to never let him spell check anything ever again." The crowd laughed and that fueled Gabriel, who cleared his throat; taking on a more serious air. Which, as normal, unsettled Dean. "Cassie," he started, turning towards Castiel as he spoke. "I'm your older brother, I'm the eldest in the family and I watched you grow up, I watched you change and become who you are today." He sighed, showing something close to regret. "Saying that, I was never around, I had friends who I thought were more important than my brother and I regret that every day of my life. When mom died..." The whole room was silent. "I realized that you had needed me, and that I needed you. But it was too late, you were already independent from me, the only thing holding you back from getting an apartment and moving out of the house was your age and money. I was late for you, and once I realized that you became a top priority." The crowd let out a rush of shushed awes. "I noticed everything about you, like the fact that you never complimented a single human being, not even your siblings. Because we knew you were happy for us so you never had to say anything, or that you guarded yourself and your emotions like the freaking White House." There was some giggles from the right side of the room, where the Tran family was. "So you can imagine my surprise and concern when you called me angrily saying the only bureau you could get into around Washington was if you were the partner of 'freaking Dean Winchester'. Of course I let you rant about all the cases you had read about him. But I knew the truth about Dean." He winked towards Dean before continuing. "I knew you'd be safe, that he was a stubborn bastard that took several bullets for past partners. My only concern for you working with Dean Winchester was the fact he was a player." That earned several snickers from the crowd and Dean's face totally didn't heat up. Good thing for Gabriel that he was too far away to shiv.

"But I held my tongue and watched from a distance. It was after your very first case together that I noticed something strange in you Cassie." He turned his hazel eyes back onto Cas. "You complimented him. The first person ever, you ranted about his idiotic methods and how he was going to get himself severely injured. But when I told you to leave his partnership you stared me straight in the eyes and stated that his intentions are the purest you've ever seen in any agent; in either the CIA or the FBI. That floored me, a week with Agent Winchester and you were breaking away from that protective armor you built over the years. I watched you change from a broken and downtrodden CIA agent to this smiling man you are today." He shook his head and sighed softly. "You've been through a lot Cassie, more than any human should... but I'm glad you did. Because if you didn't, if you didn't face those trials of life you would have never met Dean." He was completely ignoring the tables in front of them in favor of staring down both newlyweds. "And as much as I hate the fact that Dean likes to drink me out of house and home on poker nights, I still think he's the best person for you. Because he's helped you for the better."

There was a long pause then, with just Gabriel staring Castiel down, as if asking for his forgiveness and acceptance; which was obviously given. The moment that Gabriel noticed this (the slump of Castiel's shoulders, the gentle smile), he grinned, turning towards the crowds once more. "Alright, enough of this sappy shit. Let's get to the eating!" With that the food was distributed among all the tables and a sort of silence filled the room with a low under current of words and the occasional laugh.

It wasn't until they were almost done with their meal that Castiel shifted slightly, something noticeably making his seating uncomfortable. Dean taking this as the cue that Cas was going to notice the lighter, leaned over and kissed him softly under the ear before standing up to talk to Benny. Benny was only one person away (Sam was between the two) but it gave Dean a reason to let Cas discover the last gift Dean had to offer to Cas.

Benny, noticing Dean coming closer, finished his bite of food and turned in his seat to face him. "What's up, brother?" His voice was warm and unconcerned as Dean knelt down to talk to him. "Benny, Sam put you in charge of the music right?"

"Hmm."

Dean licked his lips, chancing a quick glance over to Cas who was staring down at his hands before he turned back to Benny. "Mind starting it as soon as you're done?"

Benny took that into consideration and nodded slowly, "Sounds like a good plan." He started, staring at his plate before leaning over to look down the table, past Cas and towards Anna. "As soon as I'm done I'll talk to Ms. Anna about that."

Standing up Dean patted Benny on the shoulder, smiling slightly. "Thank you." Turning away from Benny Dean walked back to his seat. The moment he did there was a warm hand reaching for his. Dean didn't have to think twice about intertwining his fingers with Castiel's as they finished eating.

* * *

The rest of the reception went nicely, Benny and Anna had set up a nice playlist that consisted of classic rock, some Johnny Cash, some of Castiel's favorites and some random newer songs (that they knew Dean wouldn't hate). Soon enough the dance floor was filled to max capacity with little Mary taking center stage with her father; or sometimes Dean and the occasional Cas. It was fun and before they knew it, it was eleven and people were leaving.

The Trans were the first to go, as the President had some things to attend to (like Dean said three years ago, with a mother like Linda Tran there was no way Kevin wasn't going to win an election). President Tran wished them a good honeymoon and that'd he'd miss them around the office. Doctor Tran had glared at them both, placing a hand on her hip and pointing a finger. "I don't want either of you in my office alright? No more broken bones!"

"Yes Doctor Tran." Both of them said in unison, having said it too many times over the years. Doctor Tran gave them one last good warning glare before leaving with Kevin and their Secret Service agents. Next to leave was Rufus, Ellen and Bobby. Dean found this rather funny since they were the oldest people at the wedding.

When he brought this up Rufus seemed incredulous. "It's the Sabbath tomorrow!"

Bobby seemed to be having none of Rufus' shit though as he turned to him, his face full of sass. "Rufus, It's Friday!"

"So?"

"So," Started Bobby, giving Rufus a good bitch face #3695. "You were supposed to resting _today_  and tomorrow."

"Hey!" Rufus started, throwing his hands up in the air and backing away playfully, "They had their wedding today! I couldn't just skip this could I?" That should have stumped Bobby but instead he just rolled his eyes and sighed. Too tired to argue.

"Whatever... idjit." He growled out, turning his attention to Dean. "You have a good night, ya hear?"

Smiling Dean nodded, pulling Bobby into a one armed hug, "Of course old man." Bobby seemed to fight back the moment Dean called him an old man.

"Old man!? I still could kick your ass two ways from Sunday Boy!" Instead of being aggressive the whole group ended up laughing at that and saying some more good byes as they left.

The rest of the place cleared out pretty well by midnight, everyone having things to do. Jess and Mary left earlier than Sam so that Sam could help with the clean up. In the end it was only Dean, Cas, Sam, Benny, Anna, Gabriel and Pamela left. Since Gabriel and Pamela started to clean up all the used cutlery as Dean and Cas both started to move the flowers around so they could put them into cars, no one noticed what Anna and Benny were doing. Not until Dean heard the tell-tale sound of his guitar.

Turning around Dean witnessed Benny sitting on a chair, tapping his foot along with the beat, Anna doing the same as she sat on a stool; moving her head to the music. It was odd to see them like that but he couldn't help staring as Anna started and Benny joined in.

 _Love was a promise made of smoke_   
_In a frozen copse of trees_   
_A bone cold and older than our bodies_   
_Slowly floating in the sea_   
_Every morning there were planes_   
_The shiny blades of pagan angels in our father's skies_   
_Every evening I would watch her hold the pillow_   
_Tight against her hollows, her unholy child_   
_I was still a beggar shaking out my stolen coat_   
_Among the angry cemetery leaves_   
_When they caught the king beneath the borrowed car_   
_Righteous, drunk, and fumbling for the royal keys_

Dean hadn't heard this before, so it was understandable for him to stand and listen to them; what with Benny's Southern accent melding perfectly with Anna's almost raspy, Janis Joplin voice. Dean felt a hand slip around his waist and knew that Cas was there; placing his lips at the base of Dean's neck as he started to sway their hips side by side to the music. It was extremely corny, and a little too chick flick-ish but Dean couldn't help but moving with Cas, feeling the rhythm as they moved against each other.

Turning around in Castiel's arms, Dean locked one hand with Castiel's as the other moved to his waist, continuing their rhythm as they did so. They moved a lot softer now than they did for their first dance. Not because they didn't like dancing together (they actually did it a lot, just in the comfort of their apartment) but because they were so emotionally drained from the day but not in a bad way.

This day could never go bad for Dean, not in a million years, not even if Cas left him. Because he'd remember this moment, when he felt so complete with just the music if their friends and staring into those blue pools he liked to think of as a home. As the song came to a close Dean moved closer to Cas, unable to control the need to be touching his husband. Cas didn't seem to mind as he raised a hand and ran it over the side of Dean's face, his thumb working over some of the freckles as he did so.

"I love you."  He muttered ever so softly as he stared Dean directly in the eyes.

"I know."

* * *

The newlyweds didn't make it home until two in the morning, having spent way too much time cleaning up, despite the fact that they had four other people helping. Both were tired as hell as they flicked on the lights and were greeted by a ball of fur. "Hey Zepp hey!" Dean greeted happily, allowing the dog to lick the shit out of his face.

After a moment of greeting her father she turned her attention to Cas, jumping onto his pants and licking his newly ringed hand. They had decided that they were going to cheat the system with this one, that Dean would take back the engagement ring and give it back as their wedding band. Cas had no problem with this as the ring meant the world to Dean, he had been wearing it for every day of his 33 years after his mother's passing after all. Dean had been the one that needed a new wedding band in the end. Cas had been adamant about finding the perfect ring for Dean, almost a destructive force of will. He had ended up going down South to have Anna and Benny's help. He had come back a week later with a ring almost identical to that of Mary's ring, except that the groove in the middle was filled with what Cas called 'blue gold'. It had a wonderful blue sheen when it hit the light, like the spark in Castiel's eyes whenever he was really enjoying something. Not that Dean would tell anyone that analogy; like ever.

Reaching over he ruffled the fur on top of Zepp's head, "Did Layla come after work like she said she would?" He asked Zepp, as if she could answer. Zepp just tilted her head at that and looked at Dean with wide brown eyes and a wagging tail. Sighing Dean stood up straighter, and started towards the kitchen, noticing a note and a small box on the counter. Picking it up the note he flipped it open;

 

Dear Cutest NewlyWeds on the planet,

I'm still really broken up about Dr. Masters' controlling my schedule so I couldn't go to your wedding, but you can't change that can you? So thanks for making me feel like part of the gang by letting me feed your dog. I took her for a walk as soon as I got out of work, so around 11:30. She was actually happy to see me :D  
But anyway because I feel bad I bought you guys a wedding present. Use it well :3 I know you will!

Love you guys lots, I bet the wedding was beautiful, and see you when you get back!  
Love, Layla Rourke

 

By this time Cas was standing next to Dean, having that horrible habit of reading over his shoulder; Cas reached over and opened the box before Dean could even think about making a grab for it.

It wasn't what Dean had been expecting, he had been expecting something dirty (come on, who writes "Use it well :3 I know you will!" And doesn't expect it to be taken dirtily)? Instead of dildos or lube or pie flavored condoms there was a just a cassette tape with a wire hanging out of one side. Confused by this Dean reached over, picking the small piece of plastic up to investigate. "What the fuck?" If Dean wasn't running on empty he would have realized what it was right away, but he was tired so he couldn't make it out.

"It's for your car Dean."

"My car? What? We're not douching her up if that's what it means!"

Cas laughed at that, pressing his warm lips against Dean's neck as he explained, "You can connect your mp3 or phone to it and it'll play it like it was a cassette. So I think it won't 'douche' your car up."

Blinking, Dean turned his attention back to the plastic. "Oh...that's awesome." He must have sounded so off that Cas started to laugh, his lips vibrating against the warmth of Dean's neck.

"Ok, it's time for bed." Cas mused, pulling away and slapping Dean's ass as he did so. "After we get some sleep we'll have some fun."

Dean seemed to like this idea, a lot, but he knew that if he didn't get sleep now there was no way in hell he'd stay awake. And besides, tomorrow was wedding gift opening day and than on Sunday they'd hit the road; just the two of them in Baby, taking the asphalt by storm.  

_Gentle rain falls on me_   
_And all life folds back into the sea_   
_We contemplate eternity_   
_Beneath the vast indifference of Heaven_   
_The vast indifference of Heaven_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this fic XD I can't believe these last couple chapters have been updated so quickly XD I'm pretty impressed with myself :3
> 
> Now! That secret I was talking about ;D I have several ficlets already made like I said before but I want you guys to know that I will write ficlets of this universe about whatever you want. Anything I didn't exactly cover and you want to know about more in depth. Alright? :) I'll start on the ficlets now. 
> 
> As of right now I sadly don't have my laptop, which contains some fanart that was made for this fic. Once I have it up and alive I will add it. Whether I'll add it to the fic or just have a separate thingy for them I have no idea. 
> 
> I'd like to thank all my friends who read this when it first came to life (my senior year of high school) and all the support I've gotten for just everyone as I updated it and continued with the task of editing this monster. It really helps me and makes me want to continue with writing and kinda has put a spring back into my step. 
> 
> Also special shout out to my best friend Nikki (wildblenderdrinkoffuckingcrazy on tumblr) for giving me all the Janis Joplin feels along with the actual title of this fic, I was literally going to name it Code Name: Cherry Angel and I'm so glad I was able to give it a better title.
> 
> Hopefully I will be able to add an 8tracks of all the music in this fic, but I'm leaving for a little vacation in around two weeks so if I don't get it up in time I'm sorry. It'll eventually show up~ 
> 
> Alright peace bitches~


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